Yesterday I watched a Periscope by a friend in the UK named Victoria (@victoriajamesUK). She is starting a new daily broadcast where she and her followers will all say one positive thing about themselves each day. It’s a good practice to get into, especially if you are prone to beating yourself up over anything and everything.
She was talking about using a hashtag so everyone would know where to find the broadcasts and tweets and she used a phrase that included the words ‘mind and flowers’. I wrote back, shortening it to just #mindflowers. She liked that quite a bit and decided to use it.
In the meanwhile, A few days ago I had written down some quotes on the topic of self-help. When I went to start my drawing, and the accompanying Periscope, I saw this quote among the ones I had chosen. It was an obvious choice to use today!
I got a text last night from a friend who was upset that she couldn’t argue a certain point very well. She had posted a statement on Facebook and had gotten some backlash for it. She tried to argue her point, and I thought she did it pretty well, but she did not. The reason? Because the person she was arguing with ended up not agreeing with her. Boy, if I felt I failed every time my simply brilliant arguments didn’t lead to the reader or listener to come to their senses and agree with me, I would feel like a failure ALL THE TIME.
What my friend was hoping to see was an immediate acknowledgement of the rightness of her position. Don’t we all, right? But the truth is most changes of opinion don’t happen like that. Changes of opinion do happen, and I am all for arguing your position. But changes happen when the time is right for them, not necessarily when you happen to make the argument.
Think about a garden. in the middle of winter you can have seeds or bulbs underground getting plenty of water from rain or snow melting, right? That doesn’t mean those seeds or bulbs are going to sprout and blossom. They have a much more complex dynamic going on, as does our minds. The water (argument) is essential. But so is temperature (society) and soil (biology) and fertilizer (circumstances) and more. One argument is like one watering of the garden. It isn’t going to grow the garden if there isn’t another watering later on, if there isn’t good soil, the right temperature, the right nutrients. The garden will grow in it’s own time, when it is ready to grow.
Our minds open and blossom in their own time, and it’s wise for us to be patient with ourselves and others as to when and how that is going to happen. It doesn’t mean you don’t put forth your beliefs and opinions of what is right. It just means you understand and trust the process.
Periscope and Katch
I am now having my Periscope videos automatically saved at Katch.me. Here’s the one from yesterday where I drew this napkin.
This is #6 in my self-help series. I have done them all live on Periscope (@thenapkindad #napkinkin). Some of them have been a ‘Guess the Quote’ style scope where I start with just a few words of the quote on a blank napkin and the viewers guess the quote as I draw. The drawing hopefully is illustrating the quote so the more I draw the more hints the viewers have of what the quote might be about.
The only rule is you can’t google the quote. You have to just guess live. While doing this drawing someone did look it up but it was towards the end so it wasn’t a big deal. Plus, I had forgotten to mention that rule at the beginning anyway.
The key to making the most of who you are is first, knowing who you want to be. Not ALL of who you want to be, just part. Then, you act deliberately to become that. As you create that part of you that will help you understand what more you want to do or be. Then you go about doing that as well. Yes, you may have a big picture vision of your overall ‘YOU’ but practically speaking you are going to be doing one small step towards that at a time. So, focus on that and don’t worry about the big picture, it will take care of itself.
Another essential element is courage. Whoever you want to become, whether it’s the best burlesque dancer in town or the town librarian, someone is going to judge you negatively for it. You may be judged a loose woman of easy virtue as they used to say. You may be judged a prude and a spinster. It doesn’t matter what you choose, someone won’t like it. But it’s your life, not theirs, right? And if you want to live their life then bow to their judgment and be who they want you to be. But if you want to live YOUR life, then have the courage to say, “This is my life, my choice.”
The Juiciest Peach
There is a famous quote by Dita Von Teese, “You can be the juiciest peach on the tree and there is still someone out there who doesn’t like peaches.” It’s futile to try to persuade every random person on the planet that you are a juicy peach. You just go about being the peach you want to be and be that confidently. That confidence and courage will do more to persuade the world and gain you respect than any bending over backwards trying to please everyone.
Barbara woke up and took a walk towards the volcano. She got lightheaded on the walk and saw a vision of all her past boyfriends tumbling down the steep mountain.
She saw Josh, the young man she had the affair with at the beach resort. She didn’t know if he really should be included since he wasn’t technically a boyfriend, more like a one night stand, even though it did last 4 days.
She saw Bob, the guy she met at the photography store. He wanted to photograph her but she turned the tables and eventually got him to pose for her instead. He broke up with her when he realized she had posted the full frontal nudes of him on her Flickr account.
She saw Jared, the older man she had a fling with at her job. He was divorced and a bit pathetic, but he smelled nice and bought her things. She broke up with him when she realized he thought 9/11 was a government conspiracy.
She saw Benjamin, the Jewish guy from her AA group. They bonded when the both realized they didn’t believe in God. He broke up with her when he found the love of his life on Eharmony.
She saw Robin, the dapper fellow she met at the hair salon. He was great in bed and she would have kept him but she caught him with her makeup and panties on one day and couldn’t handle that he was prettier than she was.
She saw Trevor, the British Cad who she knew was cheating from the very beginning but she stayed with him because he had a nice penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park. Ironically he broke up with her when he caught her cheating with Benjamin.
She saw Kevin, the police officer who stopped her for speeding. The went out for almost a year, but then he was wounded in the line of duty and had to go live with his parents in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. They broke up when he reconnected with his elementary school sweetheart back home.
And finally she saw Tim, the bodybuilder she met backstage at some competition. She liked his big muscles but he had erectile dysfunction and it was something she just couldn’t get over.
When she returned from her walk she called her husband, who was away on a business trip, to say she loved him. There was no answer and that made her wonder what he was doing.