girl ghosts 5

Apre Ski

Last we left the bodyless girl ghosts they were on their way to go skiing, which they do not do very well because they have no feet.  But they had fun anyway, floating down the mountain again and again, pulling pranks on skiers, making them fall, blowing them over and generally confusing them.  Two of the girl ghosts ran into trees head on (that’s all they have is heads so of course it was head on) and had to retire to the chalet. Ethel saw two big butted men and decided to cause some mayhem.  She bumped one in his big butt which cause him to bump into the other big butted man. They both had cafeteria trays full of goulash that spilled all over the big busted women who were with them.  It was funny to watch though they felt sorry for the women because they remembered back to when they had bodies and goulash was sometimes spilled down their blouses. It was not a fun feeling.

The two big butted men were very angry with each other as a result of this goulash mishap.  Ethel, the fastest of the bodyless girl ghosts, flew up the mountain to find her friends and tell them to come watch the big fight in the chalet that she had caused.  She found eight of them (5 others having gotten lost and consequently were currently floating over a dairy farm watching cows moo about 10 miles away). When they all got back to the chalet Sharita, the clumsy ghost who first hit a tree and stayed behind in the chalet because she had a headache, the only type of ache a bodyless ghost can have by the way, caught them up on what had happened.

The Food Fight

Sharita was just telling them how the one big busted lady had screamed and stripped of her top because the goulash was burning her when they heard a really loud clatter.  The all pushed forward to watch as one of the big butted men slammed down his tray and punched the other big butted man in the jaw.  They started to fight with a lot of punches thrown with the sound of the crunching of noses and teeth.  The girl ghosts, along with all the other people in the chalet, were enjoying the fight when suddenly they saw one of the big busted women throw a whole bowl of goulash at the other big busted woman, who got it straight in the face.  She responded by picking up a bowl of fruit loops that a little kid was eating and threw it back. All the fruit loops stuck to the other women’s face and looked very funny.  

Pretty soon the girl ghosts were witnessing a full on food fight with flying spaghetti, many pieces of toast, at least 4 plates of chicken strips and french fries and more than a few bowls of cottage cheese, which was really gross to watch hit people.

The Aftermath

After the food fight was over the big busted woman with no shirt on and fruit loops all over her face started crying.  The big butted man who was with her told her to shut up and help him to the infirmary since he probably broke his jaw.  She slapped him, said ‘Fuck you’ and stormed out of the cafeteria.  The girl ghosts thought she had to be the most tragic and ridiculous person they had ever seen, walking away as she was, covered in goulash and fruit loops and clad in only what had been a pretty sexy Victoria Secret bra and bright orange ski pants.  Ethel felt a bit bad about starting it all but decided it was worth it because she had never seen so much flying food at one time before.

The girl ghosts all decided they had had enough fun for one day and went off to find their friends. When they found them they were learning how to milk cows from a farmer and his daughter.

The End


Drawing and short short story by Marty Coleman, who ran into more than a few trees while skiing as a young lad.


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