A Question
Is this quote true?
I think it might be. Here’s why.
The Anger of My Father
When I was growing up my father was often angry. He wasn’t pissed off at little league games or piano recitals (and I am grateful for that), but he was angry at many things for many years.
Life got pretty difficult in the early 70s due to his drinking, and the drinking of my mother, who was inebriated most every single day for years. The alcohol brought out intense, angry battles between them, with us three kids being collateral damage along the way. My older sister and I were teenagers during this time and we often got in arguments with them as well. Most of my arguing with either of them basically was telling them to get their shit together, that they were the parents and we were the children and I wished they would act like it. It was frustrating and unstable, not only for us two older ones, but especially for my younger sister, who was between 6-9 years old during the worst years.
And it got worse before it got better, a lot worse. But it did get better. My mother and father both stopped drinking. My father’s anger, while never complete gone, was greatly diminished and well within what could be considered ‘normal’.
20 Years Later
I don’t remember my father telling me he felt shame from all those years of anger, but I think that was one of the main emotions he felt. Why do I think that? Because when it was my turn 20 years later to be the adult with problems of alcohol and anger, that is what I felt.
What do you think?
From your experience, does something begun in anger eventually end in shame?
This drawing, and most every napkin drawing, is for sale, original or print. Please email marty@napkindad.com to inquire.
Here are my other posts on shame –
Sara Haines, Kim Kardashian and the Power of Empathy – Shame #3
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Benjamin Franklin, 1706-1790, American inventor, diplomat, politician, business owner, printer, writer.