boyfriends-2015_sm

Boyfriends

Barbara woke up and took a walk towards the volcano.  She got lightheaded on the walk and saw a vision of all her past boyfriends tumbling down the steep mountain.  

She saw Josh, the young man she had the affair with at the beach resort. She didn’t know if he really should be included since he wasn’t technically a boyfriend, more like a one night stand, even though it did last 4 days.

She saw Bob, the guy she met at the photography store. He wanted to photograph her but she turned the tables and eventually got him to pose for her instead. He broke up with her when he realized she had posted the full frontal nudes of him on her Flickr account.

She saw Jared, the older man she had a fling with at her job.  He was divorced and a bit pathetic, but he smelled nice and bought her things. She broke up with him when she realized he thought 9/11 was a government conspiracy.

She saw Benjamin, the Jewish guy from her AA group.  They bonded when the both realized they didn’t believe in God.  He broke up with her when he found the love of his life on Eharmony.

She saw Robin, the dapper fellow she met at the hair salon.  He was great in bed and she would have kept him but she caught him with her makeup and panties on one day and couldn’t handle that he was prettier than she was.

She saw Trevor, the British Cad who she knew was cheating from the very beginning but she stayed with him because he had a nice penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park. Ironically he broke up with her when he caught her cheating with Benjamin.

She saw Kevin, the police officer who stopped her for speeding. The went out for almost a year, but then he was wounded in the line of duty and had to go live with his parents in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.  They broke up when he reconnected with his elementary school sweetheart back home.

And finally she saw Tim, the bodybuilder she met backstage at some competition. She liked his big muscles but he had erectile dysfunction and it was something she just couldn’t get over.

When she returned from her walk she called her husband, who was away on a business trip, to say she loved him.  There was no answer and that made her wonder what he was doing.

The End.


Drawing and short story © 2015 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com


 

 

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