Short Short Stories From the Cemetery

The Super Hero

 

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Earlier during my cemetery walkabout, right as the sun went down, I happened upon a lone superhero starting her overnight vigil overlooking the city. She was strong and disciplined. I asked her how she got to be a superhero. She said she always wanted to be one and found that the local university had it as a major. She graduated in 3 years with a major in SuperHero Studies and a minor in Civil Engineering. Her day job is with the Army Corp of Engineers.

 

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The Zombie Pirate Queen

 

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During my cemetery visit I also met the Zombie Pirate Queen. She was desperately looking for something more to eat. I pointed her in the direction of downtown, telling her the bar scene was hopping there and she should find someone to her liking. She thanked me and ran off, but not before giving me her business card, telling me to let my wife know she sold Avon on the side and could give her a free makeover.

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The Night Ninja

 

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I was taking a leisurely midnight stroll around the cemetery when I saw Jack and the Night Ninja doing a bit of competitive grave robbing. I told them they could get a lot more work done if they worked cooperatively instead, which they did. In the end they made their deadline and planned to meet later at IHOP for breakfast.

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The Night Ninja skulked around me for a while after she was done grave robbing. She wanted to know why I was taking photographs and if I worked for the NSA. I told her no, but I was lying. I finally got her off my back when I gave her a coupon I had to Ulta and told her they had a 50% off sale on eyeliner.

 

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Unfortunately for the Night Ninja she never did get to have breakfast at IHOP with Jack. She instead met her demise at the hands of the Corpse bride who, in spite of being all in white, surprised the Night Ninja while she was checking her Snapchat. The Bride had just been left at the alter and hadn’t eaten all day so Night Ninja had an unfortunate end.

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Sally and Jack

 

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I met Sally in a corner of the cemetery where she was waiting for her blind date. She had been set up by her Sorority sister, Drusilla, with her younger brother. She was quite scared of being alone in the cemetery and was happy to know there were others around. When her date, Jack, showed up out of the dark, hand first, she got so scared she peed a little.

 

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Later in the evening I saw Sally and Jack enjoying a romantic moment sitting on a tomb.  Jack had a big smile but Sally was worried about finding a bathroom.

 

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The Lady in Black

 

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When I arrived at the cemetery she was the first person I came across.  But she said nothing, she just looked watched me as I passed.  Wherever I went, she was nearby, ever silent, ever watching.  After the night was over I finally got up the nerve to talk to her.  I asked her what she was doing in the cemetery.  She stared at me intently, never blinking and said, “I am your eternal witness that these events were real.”

 

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© 2014 Marty Coleman – All Rights Reserved

Halloween Goodies!

 

Would you eat an eyeball? YUM!

 

Halloween!

 

Drawing by Marty Coleman, who hasn’t ever eaten an eyeball, but has eaten brains (non-human).

The Eight Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts Trick or Treating on Halloween – A Short Short Story #2

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The freckled ghosts with no bodies huddled together when they started to trick or treat in the cold. Penelope had her best lipstick on but no one answered the door at the beach house.

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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman

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Trivia of the Day

There is no scientific name for the fear of candy.

 

Eat, Drink and Be Scary! – Halloween #2

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What more is there to say – have fun and be safe!

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Drawing by Marty Coleman

Quote by Anonymous

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Fact of the day

Fear of Halloween is known as Samhainophobia.  Samhain is the ancient pagan festival that Halloween descended from.

I Bet Living In a Nudist Colony

I don’t know, sounds like it could be pretty darn scary if you ask me!

Sorry for my absence yesterday, the graphics card on my computer went out and I didn’t get it together to hook up the scanner to my backup laptop until this morning. I hope you didn’t fall into the depths of despair without your napkin fix, but despair no more, they are back!

Drawing by Marty Coleman 

 

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