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Time and Forgiveness
Why not burn a bridge? I mean, you aren’t going to see those jerks again anyway, right? Many many years ago I was fired from a company. One person made the decision and she was the one who gave me the news. I didn’t burn any bridges then, even though given the circumstances I could have seen her as my enemy.
The Future is the Present
Fast forward 6 years and this woman crosses my path when she enrolls in a class of mine (not knowing I am the lead teacher). A class she will be in 3 days a week for 12 weeks. Now is the moment I am glad I didn’t burn that bridge. I knew who she was and I knew what she had done. I knew it had been unfair and had adversely affected my life. But I had a choice. Would all the anger and unfairness I felt at the beginning hold sway or would I choose a different path?
Embracing
I chose the different path. I embraced her. I worked with her. I cared for her. I listened to her story of injury and recovery. I encouraged her in making progress, and she did. I saw her all the way through. So much so that after the class was over and a new class started she joined that as well. We didn’t become close friends, but there is no doubt she knew I had not only forgiven her (which she may or may not have felt she needed anyway) but had embraced her and wished her well in her life. I didn’t just say it, I acted it out in my actions towards her.
That is why you don’t burn bridges. Not just because you may regret it professionally later, but because it will cut off the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation later in life.
In Your Mind
Another story, this one from an online friend. His daughter abruptly left home at age 18 without much of an explanation. She didn’t respond to repeated attempt to reconnect with her family, including old fashion letter writing on the part of her father. She had been dealing with anxiety and depression before and after she left and eventually did get medical treatment. However, she was still estranged from the entire family. But when she accidentally ran into her younger sister in public and chose to ignore her, the father witnessed the devastation the younger daughter went through. Enough was enough and he knew he had to take action.
But what action? How about burning that bridge, telling her she was persona non grata in the family for hurting the younger sister so badly? NO, of course he didn’t do that. He found a way to contact her directly and demanded they get together and talk. Others had been telling her the same thing, so she agreed.
Moving Past
He was nervous about this meeting, expecting to be confronted by the same angry daughter who had left over a year earlier. But, that is not what happened. Instead he met a mature, responsible 19 year old. One who asked forgiveness, placed no blame on her parents, and wanted to start fresh with the whole family. You don’t have to be told how great that father felt. And why did that happen? Because he didn’t burn the bridge but decided, in spite of the danger and anxiety, to cross the bridge instead. He made the effort out of love and it paid off.
A burned bridge never would have allowed that.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by David Russell