Don’t go bullistic but it’s Day #4 of Bully week!
I heard a statement about Bullying this morning on NPR that makes perfect sense. It’s that a bully is a performer. And what does a performer need? A performer needs an audience. Take away the audience and the bully loses both her power and her incentive.
This allows the possibility for the change to be not just with the bullier and the bullied. It gives those who are bystanders and witnesses power too. Yes, they have the power to say something to the bullier, but that can backfire and cause the bully to turn her attention to the person protesting. But what if those with the bullier simply walk away. What if they decide to not witness it? What then? It allows the bystanders to have power in a way that will not hurt themselves but will still contribute to the bullying being reduced.
Whatever course the bystander takes, it takes courage. But that is important and good that they learn to exhibit courage since it is a character trait everyone badly needs as they enter into adult life.
Drawing by Marty Coleman who has been both in his life.
Quote by Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
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I didn’t know it when I started but this is an appropo week to be doing a series on Bullying. The documentary movie ‘Bully’ is coming out this week. It is meant to be seen by teens and in schools but the movie rating board gave it an R rating for language. The Weinstein Company, it’s distributor, decided to release it unrated instead. I hope it gets a wide audience, in spite of it being unrated. Here is a trailer for it.
Dont forget bullying isnt just in kids… in fact many learn the traits from their parents and so, chatting with those parents can subject the bullying kid to more bullying from their own parents. Its a hard subject.
Often the parents are in denial as well. They don’t believe their child would do something like that and the child, of course, will deny it. Julie was lucky in that she had a positive response from the parents, but that is not always the case.
The other element is that often the person being bullied will not tell a parent, or even a teacher. It really is the first line of defense, the other students, who will see most of it and can do something immediate about it.
I still don’t understand why I don’t hear about parents going to the parents of the bully(s). That is what stopped the bullying of my son in it’s tracks. The schools DO more or less ignore it. I believe in being proactive. I think that was the only time I went to a parent about their child and it was worth it.