Last we saw the ghirl ghosts some of them were trying on hats but a number of them were still back at the farm learning how to milk cows. This is the story of what happened to them.
The Cow Milk Tasting
The remaining seven stayed at the farm. After they were done milking they all went back to the farm house to have a taste test. Two of them, Sassy and Skerri, liked Selma’s milk best because it was sweet and creamy. Three of them, Betsy, Belinda, and Beatrice liked BeeBee’s because it tasted a bit like chocolate (which is not odd since BeeBee had found the daughter’s stash of hidden chocolate candy bars in the barn and eaten them all just the day before). Two of the ghirl ghosts didn’t like the milk at all. Lacey had been lactose intolerant when she was alive and had a body and it still scared her to drink milk even though she no longer had a stomach. Kacey had been kicked in the head by Bee Bee when she floated too close to Bee Bee’s butt and Selma had snorted in a way that made Kacey think she was laughing at her (and she was) . She was not in the mood to drink milk after that.
It didn’t take long for the farmer and daughter to grow tired of the ghirl ghosts, not in small part due to the big mess of spilt milk on the floor since they don’t have stomachs. It didn’t help that Belinda burped really loud, spitting milk out on Skerri and Sassy laughing so hard milk came out her nose. Soon enough they shooed them out the farmhouse door and sent them on their way. The farmer and his daughter went inside, used up all their clean dish towels cleaning up the mess, then went to the workroom to finish building bird houses.
As soon as they left the farmhouse they heard barking and realized 5 large dogs were running after them. In the meanwhile 4 other ghirl ghosts came back from the hat shopping trip and were looking for the farm when they saw the commotion. They all panicked and floated really fast up a big hill. They were hoping there would be a cliff on the other side that would stop the dogs but instead they crested the hill and ran right into an electrified fence. All eleven of them hit the fence much full force and were electrocuted.
Death After Death
One of the nice things about being a bodyless ghirl ghost, besides not having to worry about ingrown toenails or periods, is that you don’t have to worry about dying either. Since they had died once before they couldn’t die again. But the bad part is it still hurts like hell. The dogs meanwhile had stopped short, not wanting to get anywhere near the electrified fence. They did bark and howl in such a way that the ghirl ghosts thought they were being laughed at, and they were. After the ghirl ghosts recovered their senses (not that they had much sense to begin with) they all decided they wanted to go to a safer place. They decided unanimously and off they went.
And you dear reader, where do you think they are headed next?
Drawing and short, short story by Marty Coleman, who has never milked a cow.
Drawing and story © 2013 Marty Coleman