“It Isn’t Where You Came From, It’s Where You’re Going That Counts.” – Ella Fitzgerald
This can be one of the biggest problems for people. They want to figure out WHY they are the way they are, what in their past made them have this habit, or this response, or this attitude. And at some level it is very satisfying to know, like a puzzle piece that has been found.
But the thing to watch out for here is that memories are not static things placed in a file folder. Every time you remember, you change the remembrance, it becomes more your creation, your story, than it is an exact recording of some past truth. Your memory is not that.
So, let’s say at age 28 you figure out that the reason you never finish anything is because your mother always made you put everything away before you were done. Nice to know. But when you think about that same issue at age 48 you might remember that it was your father who dissed your little creations and made you feel they weren’t worth completing, something you didn’t remember at age 28 because at that point you still thought your father was the perfect man.
Either way, YOU still have the need to learn how to finish things. Remembering either situation did not change your behavior. Only you can do that, regardless of where it came from, regardless of what root path there was to your present moment in time.
While learning all about the ‘back story’ that created you, never lose sight of the real key to your progress in life. It is looking forward, looking at where you WANT to go, and figuring out how to get there, whether it is finally going to China or finally bringing the china out of the packing boxes after 5 years.
Drawing and Commentary © 2022 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
