“Any married man should forget his mistakes. No reason to have two people remembering the same thing.” – Duane Dewel
I am lucky to have a bad memory for certain things, it helps me avoid anger, resentment, bitterness, the ‘what ifs’ and all sorts of other things. But it also keeps me from having great memories of some of my kids childhood special moments or
special moments with my wife. I like the first part since it keeps me happier. I don’t like the second part because remembering those things would make me happier still.
It also keeps me from remembering the things that other people found hurtful or angered them for some reason. Where I have violated or done someone wrong. They remember it, but I don’t. I mean, sometimes I do, but it is in a back closet and I forget about it most of the time. Sometimes it was such a small thing in my mind that I never would consider someone else would remember it, much less remember it myself.
It is good for me to realize that my wife remembers things and it affects her emotionally. I don’t need to have the same emotion and I don’t have to have the memory as close to the surface as she does. But I do need to know that it is in her memory bank and it matters.
I can’t take that memory away from her, I can’t let it go for her. My job is just to be smart enough to know that just because I forget things, doesn’t mean they didn’t happen and doesn’t mean they didn’t have consequences.
Drawing © 2022 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
