by Marty Coleman | Jul 30, 2009 | Aging - 2009, Pearl S. Buck |
Ok, one final drawing for ‘Aging week’. Next I think I will do completely random stuff that comes out of nowhere.
My feelings about aging all seem to revolve around not doing it. I don’t mean physically aging, and I don’t mean growing in wisdom. I mean becoming old in attitude.
The attitude that so often sees things ‘as they had been’ as being the best it will ever be. ‘Back when I was a kid’ or ‘When we were raised’ are clichés that are covers for not being willing or able to see new ideas and new ways of doing things.
The resistance to the new can start early, just think about how the best music ever probably was the music that came out when you were in high school and college. After that it all went down hill. Did it really? Didn’t you simply get use to certain musical ideas and then closed yourself off to new ones?
When Igor Stravinsky debut of the ‘Rite of Spring’ the audience became enraged and revolted against it. Why? Because it was an idea so new that it actually caused them pain. That of course changed over time, until now that same music is seen as almost safe and boring. It took time, but people have accepted it, it’s not new, it is not painful.
What I try to do is withhold judgment of the new until I can get use to the idea, start to understand its value. It is one way I work to not be ‘old’.
Drawing © Marty Coleman
“You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea.” – Pearl S. Buck, Author
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 30, 2009 | Aging - 2009, Henry David Thoreau |
Day 4 of aging week! I missed yesterday, just a bit too busy between visiting my dad in the hospital and taking some time off. Sorry about that.
Having dealt with my elderly father all week, trying to get him up and moving after a hip break, I have seen once again how important motivation and enthusiasm is to recovery. In his case we are helping him remember his friends back at his assisted living home (his girlfriends at his dining table in particular)!
But enthusiasm is more than motivation. It is about interest, curiosity, feeling like you have something to reach for, something you want to know about. In my father’s case he has started to think he might want to live to 100. It’s a goal, it’s something to think about and imagine.
We are encouraging that by saying we are expecting another party (we have one every 10 years for his big birthdays) so we expect him to live to 100. He might not make it, we understand it, and he understands it. But we have hope, and we have enthusiasm and we impart that to him as best we can. That is the key, not just to have it in yourself, but to figure out ways to impart it to others.
Drawing © Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 28, 2009 | Aging - 2009, Madeleine L'engle |
Day 3 of ‘Aging Week’.
My father is on the roller coaster that is old age, bone breaks and lung congestion. Not an easy thing for him to deal with. His efforts are continuing to cause me to think about the whole process of aging.
I remember when this quote made sense for the first time. I was talking to someone much younger than myself. I realized that he didn’t have the flow of time I had. He had gone through 25 years of life, and for him to consider the next 25 he had to project. I, on the other hand, had all 50 years to remember. I had the age of 30 in my memory, the age of 20, the age of 40. I hadn’t given up any of those years, I had just added to them.
It helped me realize why younger people can so often not understand older people. They simply have to take a much greater leap than when an older person has to understand a younger person. They haven’t lived that age yet. Of course, many older people forget what it was like to be young, but that is an issue for another blog entry!
“The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you have been.” – Madeleine L’engle, Author
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 27, 2009 | Aging - 2009, Holbrook Jackson |
Day 2 of ‘Aging Week’! I am thinking about it due to witnessing my father’s time in the hospital.
Everything fun you do can be seen as something you should know not to do, that you should ‘know better’.
Whether it is mountain biking, dancing all night, surfing at 6 in the AM or twirling your kids around by the arms someone will think you are crazy or not being responsible or frown upon it for some reason. I say grab your joy, your kids, your surfboard and go have at it. Do be responsible, but at the same time don’t let a stick in the mud stop you from playing in it!
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 27, 2009 | Aging - 2009, Voltaire |
We are moving from Disease Week’ to ‘Aging Week’! Being around my father this week (he broke his hip and I have been helping to care for him) has made me think a lot about aging, growing old, not growing old, etc.
I think this quote is true, that virtue is sometimes (not always) a function of no energy or drive to do the unvirtuous thing. Not nearly as noble, but in reality I think laziness is as much a reason for virtue to increase and ‘sin’ to decrease as most other reasons I have heard over the years.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 26, 2009 | Disease - 2009, Quentin Crisp |
Day 7 of Disease Week at the Napkin Dad Daily presented
from San Diego California this week. I am here helping
to take care of my father, who went through surgery
to repair a broken hip. I am photographing the napkins
instead of scanning them, but that shouldn’t make a
crucial difference.
I tend to think this is more true with psychological
areas of health than elsewhere. What do you think?
“Health consists of having the same disease as one’s neighbors.” – Quentin Crisp
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 25, 2009 | Series |
Health Nuts
Originally uploaded by Make Studio | Marty ColemanI am in California helping to take care of my 91 year old father, who fell and broke his hip on Thursday. So, since I wasn’t able to get a drawing out this morning, here is a vintage one from the original napkin drawings I sent with my daughters’ lunches.It is also disease week here at the daily so this napkin, though old, is completely in keeping with it!
Wish my dad luck on his surgery.
Thanks,
Marty Coleman
When I first started going to the gym (when I was 45 after I got a divorced) I wanted to get in shape. Pretty typical, I know. I also started thinking about why was everyone else there getting in shape. Who were all these ‘health nuts’ and what were they going to do with their great health?
I realized that to be in shape just to live a long life isn’t enough. Long lives in good shape can still be crappy if you are acting as a crappy person. Being fit and trim and a jerk isn’t of any value to the world. The reason I want to be fit and healthy is to allow myself the opportunity to become someone of value inside and then to share that good thing with the world. If I can’t improve my love and thoughtfulness and intelligence and support, then why bother improving the body? The body is the vehicle by which you achieve your goals. You can’t do it without your body and it is good if your body is in good shape. But for what? Love your body so you can love your neighbor and whoever else you come across.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 23, 2009 | Disease - 2009, Faina Ranevskaya |
Day 5 of fabulous Disease Week here at the Napkin Dad Daily.
Can a disease week even be fabulous?
At first I thought this applied to us old folk who wake up creaky in some
new part of our bods every morning. But then I thought about my life
as an active, fitness oriented person.
This started pretty late in life for me. I was 45 before I joined a gym.
About 50 when I started running and didn’t start doing it in any organized
fashion until last year. What I learned was that being fit and healthy is a
pain. I mean that literally. I had a new pain every day when I started at the
gym. I have aches in my calves one week, then in my foot the next, then in
my back, when I am training for a run. But I have come to learn that is
proof that I am healthy. I am working my body. It may not like it. It may
rebel and get mad at me. But it will appreciate it in the long run and thank me.
What about you, are you healthy enough to say it hurts in a new place every day?
“Health is when every day it hurts in a different place.” – Faina Ranevskaya, 1896-1984, Russian Actress
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 22, 2009 | Bill Maher, Disease - 2009 |
Day 4 of Disease Week at the Napkin Dad Daily.
Have you subscribed to the Daily yet? It will make your
brain bigger and your day better…every DAY!
I think this is true and I think it is good. I know we can
go overboard with designating behavior choices as a
disease. I know that the idea behind labeling something
sin is to connect it back directly to a moral choice a
person makes. I know that overdrinking, gambling, overeating
and more are a result of a choice we make. So, why isn’t
it ok to just call a sin a sin and be done with it.
The reason is that we are interested in stopping the behavior.
To stop a behavior it is best to understand it as completely
as possible. To understand it might mean we come to realize
there is more going on than just a simple choice. We learn
about brain function, about genes, about family histories,
about psychological and emotional trauma. We learn a lot.
In the end there must be a choice made. But knowing the cure
for your disease involves a choice on your part doesn’t mean
it isn’t a disease. It means you have ultimate control over your
disease. How great is that compared to someone with cancer
or MS or a million other diseases you can’t control.
Take advantage of your ability to control. Make your choice,
every day.
“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.” – Bill Maher, American comedian and commentator
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 21, 2009 | Disease - 2009, William Osler |
Day 3 of ‘Disease Week’ on the Napkin Dad Daily. Think
of a doctor, nurse, or patient you know and forward these
to them. The ideas are good for you, like Bran Flakes, but
in color and on a napkin and inedible.
Are you training for when you have a disease? Are you practicing being
positive, realistic, disciplined, persevering? Are you building your sense
of humor in the face of bad times? Are you teachable about what you
are going through, what direction you can take to improve your chances?
Just as with any new challenge that comes upon us, if we practice who
we want to be, it will be much easier to be that when the moment comes
when we need to act in the best possible way. Being prepared for a job,
a marriage, a tragedy or a disease, whether yours or someone elses, isn’t
impossible. We can’t be completely prepared, but we can prepare as best
we can.
What are you prepared for?
“It is much more important to know what sort of patient has a disease than what sort of disease a patient has.” – William Osler, Canadian Physician, 1849-1919
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 20, 2009 | Arthur Adamov, Disease - 2009 |
Are you a hypochondriac, in therapy, getting treated for something, know
someone who is, wish you were, should be, used to be, or have thought
about being? Then you should pay attention to disease week at the
Napkin Dad Daily! It won’t cure you, but it will make you think, and
thinking has been clinically proven to be essential to many things!
As a watcher of human nature, I am a firm believer that your neuroses,
obsessions, compulsions, passions, frailties, infirmities, and eccentricities
aren’t things you will likely get rid of completely. As an artist, I am a firm
believer that it’s good they aren’t gotten rid of completely.
The question isn’t how do I get rid of them, the question is what am I going
to do with them? How can I mold them into something positive, good,
productive, creative, powerful, helpful? I am not saying they should all
be allowed to flourish and grow. Some should be pruned back diligently.
But what are you going to do with what’s left of them?
What is the positive path for your weakness?
“The only thing to know is how to use your neurosis.” – Arthur Adamov, 1908-1970, Russian playright and novelist
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 19, 2009 | Disease - 2009, Thomas Paine |
Of course we are talking about the ‘big’ diseases here of cancer, heart disease,
MS and more. There are many. But we are also talking about personal
diseases: alcoholism, anger, bigotry, depression, etc. Some are handled
in private, some with drugs, some with therapy. But there is usually a
bottom that a person reached before the sun shines through, before the
cure is found.
I know in my life there have been diseases within myself that I didn’t
get rid of until there was a crisis that threatened me or my family. Alcohol
being one of them. I stopped back in 1993 because of it.
What are your diseases? Are you waiting for the crisis until you accept
the cure?
“The nearer any disease approaches to a crisis, the nearer it is to a cure.” – Thomas Paine, 1737-1809, American Pamphleteer and Patriot
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 18, 2009 | Saul Bellow |
A very busy day for me today. Here is a vintage napkin from 2002.
You can usually tell right away if someone is interested in an accomplice
instead of real advice. They will immediately start to argue in the negative,
with reasons and excuses against whatever it is you offer that is not already in
keeping with their thoughts on the matter.
No use going forward in that case. I simply say ‘I wish you luck’ and am done
with it.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 17, 2009 | Beauty - 2009, 2015, Ralph Waldo Emerson |
And so the week of beauty comes to an end. I feel more beautiful, do you?
A nice simple definition that rings true. I do think the love of beauty is about
taste. I also think it is about acquired tasted, in other words. There is
something to be said for being educated about something. All that means
to me is that you have had the patience and teachability to learn what
others know about something, understanding that there are subtleties to
appreciate in all areas of art, whether it be napkin drawings or opera.
It isn’t abandoning your taste to learn about the arts, it is building on it.
“The love of beauty is taste. The creation of beauty is art.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882, American writer
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 16, 2009 | Ezra Pound |
Day 4 at the beauty trough. I am not looking any better but I think
the drawings are. Should a drawing about beauty be beautiful?
So why then, if this statement is true, are so many cliche people and images
thought to be beautiful. Mediocre knock-offs of designs seen a million times
with no originality or spark are hugely popular. The women who spend
money on them think they are beautiful. The millions of beach babes who
work so hard to look like Pamela Anderson are showered with compliments
to their beauty. And if there isn’t a response, the guy goes on to the next
look-alike and showers her with the same compliments. The men doing the
showering think they are beautiful.
Questions:
- Aren’t there then cliches that are beautiful?
- What type of beauty is the author talking about here?
- How is the beauty between the cliches different?
- How do you find it?
- How do you discern beauty from cliche?
- Do you have any choice in what you consider beautiful?
“Beauty is a brief gasp between one cliche and another.” – Ezra Pound, 1885 – 1972, ex-patriot American poet
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 15, 2009 | Beauty - 2009, 2015, Rabindranath Tagore |
Day 3 in my week of beauty. Collect them all, win prizes!
There is something compelling about beauty. We want to possess it.
To a child, the beauty might be a flower, but it could just as easily be a
frog or a stone. It is filled with wonder and we want it. We want to touch
it and hold it and examine it and play with it. We want it to indulge in
it. The hardest thing to do is to let beauty just be. To enjoy the object,
person, event, whatever it is and not try to hold on to it, to capture it.
I know, I should talk. I am an artist and photographer. I spend my time
thinking about how to capture it. But I also have learned to let it pass by.
I have realized that there is an endless supply of beauty. I will never be
without it, I will never be unable to see it. I know from past experience I
have barely had a day gone by without seeing beauty. It might be the dress
my wife wears as she goes to work, it might be the way my cat is curled up
in the sun, it might be the incredible spiky beauty of the weed I haven’t
pulled in the backyard.
Try indulging in beauty today without trying to capture it. Let it walk by and
respond by just smiling and saying I am happy there is beauty in the world
and I got to experience it today.
“By plucking her petals you do not gather the beauty of the flower.” – Rabindranath Tagore, 1861-1941, Indian Author, Nobel Prize in Literature 1913.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 14, 2009 | Beauty - 2009, 2015, Franz Kafka |
Day 2 in my week long series on beauty. If you have any great beauty
quotes send them along!
I love coming across explanations that just make perfect sense. This
one does. Being able to see (and appreciate) beauty is a sure sign a
person is curious, enthusiastic and joyful in his or her way of looking
at the world. It means they have the desire to explore because they
know there is a reward. The reward is beauty.
“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” – Franz Kafka, 1883 – 1924, Czech writer
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 13, 2009 | Beauty - 2009, 2015, Jean Kerr |
I am starting a week of beauty. I know what you are thinking, ‘but you
are already so cute Marty, you don’t need a week at a spa’. You are
probably right. I think I will forego the spa and just spend the time
drawing and talking about beauty instead.
The idea of beauty is problematic for an artist. If the artist is to be
honest he or she would have to say that outer beauty matters to them.
After all, they are creating objects that have outer beauty. They are looking
at the outside of things and giving their interpretation of them. They
are attracted to beauty. Beauty, of course, is defined differently by each
artist, but it is still a searching for and appreciation of beauty. Not
inner beauty, but outer beauty. The appearance of things.
So, how does an artist reconcile that desire to linger and study objects
of beauty and create objects that are also beautiful with the desire and
need to see the hidden beauty in things and people? How does an artist
build that appreciation for deeper beauty, the inner beauty while promoting
the value and worth of outer beauty?
Good questions.
“I am tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That’s enough, what you do you want – an adorable pancreas?” – Jean Kerr, 1922—2003, American author and playwright
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 12, 2009 | Lewis Carroll |
Some people like silly, light absurdities. It makes them turn their head
like a dog not understanding. I saw the documentary ‘The Gates’ last
night, about the making of the Christo/Jean Claude art project in Central
Park, NYC. The commentary in the film among observers was between
the people who said ‘What’s it for, why do it?’ and those who said ‘Who
cares what it is for, it doesn’t need any reason. It just is. Enjoy the beauty
and the fun and the unexpected joy and feelings it brings.’
Earlier in the day, before breakfast, I went for a morning run along the Arkansas
River. I was running over a small bridge over a creek flowing into the river
when I looked up a bit. There in front of me, on the handrail of the bridge,
was a large black crane. It was looking right at me, with punk rock type
tufts of hair poking out from it’s head and yellow eyes. I stopped and said hello.
It didn’t respond. I reached into my run pack to get out my iPhone to take it’s
picture. It was camera shy and opened it’s big wings and flew down to the
creek. I said goodbye and kept running.
“Sometimes I have believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” – Lewis Carroll, British Author (Alice in Wonderland)
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 12, 2009 | Mark Twain |
Being able to read isn’t a passport to anything. Reading is.
Know what ‘wabisabi’ means? I didn’t until this morning when a new
friend and I had a discussion about the beauty of what is, imperfections
and transience and all. Look it up.
“The person who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the person who can’t read them.” – Mark Twain, American Author, 1830-1910
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 10, 2009 | Dr. Seuss, Travel |
Hola Napkin Kin! Today is the last of my week-long series on travel.
Would love to hear your ideas for other week-long series when you have
the time. email me at marty@martycoleman.com or just post a comment.
I love to take trips when I can, whether it be by path, road, air or water
(road is my favorite). One of the main reasons is that I am a ‘noticer’ (thanks
to Erin for that recent designation of moi). I go somewhere and I notice the
different accents, products, clothes, food, store fronts, air, potholes, patterns
and ways of doing things. It is exciting to see all those new things, to notice
the differences, to experience the newness.
With the noticing comes education. I learn first how provincial I am. I get use
to my world, my town, my way of doing things. By traveling I learn that I am
small and the world is big. I get bigger when I realize that. And yes, I get a bigger
waistline too, from ‘noticing’ all the new food!
With education comes appreciation. I appreciate that the world is open to me.
I appreciate that I have a home and familiar places I can return to. I appreciate
how the world does not revolve around me. I love seeing the people on the street
in a new locale, especially if I draw or photograph them. I think of it as a little
collision of humanity in a large world, a bump and we are back on to our own
trajectory.
With appreciation comes gratitude. I am grateful that I have the means and the
ability to travel. I know it won’t last forever. I know I will someday be at a point when
I won’t travel. I will be gone from the earth. I don’t mind that. But I would mind
not being aware of that and taking advantage of the time I do have to move about.
With gratitude comes love. Love for those who I notice along my path. The waitress,
the hot dog vendor, the random person from Idaho next to me at the fireworks, the
couple on the boat on a romantic weekend. I have a heart of hope for them.
I wish them well. I encourage them. I love them.
The greater love is for those I know and am with on the journey. My wife, daughters,
friends. I see them in a new light. I see new aspects of them, their growth, their
struggles, their eccentricities and intelligence. I have more to love of them that way.
Travel is good. Get up and go.
“You’re off to great places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting so get on your way!” – Dr. Seuss.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 9, 2009 | Marcel Proust, Travel |
It’s travel week on the Napkin Dad Daily. Ideas stimulated by my vacation
last week.
The hardest thing to do is to escape oneself. The construction of self takes
many years, decades. And when you travel it isn’t much different than
putting your home on a trailer and moving . You may go to a new location
but everything follows you. How do you leave your world behind and
reconstruct your self, even if just a bit, when you go away from home?
One way is to bring very little. Expect to buy things where you go. Maybe not
expensive stuff, but shampoo, accessories, certain clothing items, etc.
Don’t bring all the things you need to make yourself as you always are.
Go au natural with things, see what you discover about yourself and the
new place you go.
I remember going to Europe in 2003 with my daughters and one of the most
fun and informative things was going into grocery stores to buy food for picnics
and snacks, and other needed stuff. The hair product company, Garnier, was
everywhere and I thought the design and packaging was very interesting.
Lo and behold, a few years later they come to the USA and I see them marketing
to Americans.
Travel and see with new eyes.
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” – Marcel Proust, French Novelist, 1871-1922
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 8, 2009 | Augustine, Travel |
This is a week long series on travel, a result of my thoughts from my
recent vacation to Cape Cod and Boston over the 4th of July week.
It’s very easy in the current age to ‘see’ the world via photographs, video,
internet and words. It is easy to think you are exposed to it all. And in some
ways you are.
But go to that same place you have seen on TV and you quickly
realize how much more you experience in person. It is the air, the light, the
people, the accents, the birds, the animals, the manners, the food, the sidewalks,
the trees, the smells, the buildings, the events.
They all add up to the experience of knowing another place and reading more of
the book.
Go somewhere and really notice.
“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.” – St. Augustine – church father, 354-430 AD
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 7, 2009 | Benjamin Disraeli, Travel |
Day 2 of decompression from my vacation. I am still thinking
about travel and so am going to continue this week (maybe) in drawing
about it.
During our vacations it is a tradition that about half way in we will turn
to each other and ask ‘what is your favorite part, so far?’. We will tell what
event was the best in our minds, and also what part was the least fun or
interesting. This year the whale watching was pretty much the #1 favorite
of the first half.
What is funny is that the first 2 1/2 hours of the whale watching trip was easily
the worst time of the trip up to that point. It was cold, it was very foggy (no
horizon in sight) and it was boring. The people around me were purple lipped
from the cold, red faced from the wind, eyes watering from the wind, and bored.
It wasn’t until we had pretty much given up hope and realized we were have to
return to the Provincetown without seeing a whale that 2 whales appeared. Then
the mood changed. Then the sun broke through just a bit. Then the whales came close.
Then the whales breached (jumped) out of the water. Sometimes completely. Then
they did it again, very close to the boat. They put on a show like the captain and the
naturalist and the crew hadn’t even ever seen. The lady next to us had been on
20 whale watching tours and had never seen one jump, much less the dozen or so we
saw. She was wooping it up like she was at a tight baseball game in the 9th inning!
The whale watching fiasco of a mere 45 minutes earlier was just a great lead in to the
big climactic story of the breaching whales in the glorious setting sun.
What we remember is greater than what we saw. It is the story, the arch of the event,
the people, the feeling, the mood and the mood swings, that we add into the event to
make it what it is in our mind. I love that about travel.
“Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember and remember more than I have seen.” – Benjamin Disraeli – 1804 – 1881, British Prime Minister (twice) under Queen Victoria
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 6, 2009 | Moslih Eddin Saadi, Travel |
Hello all you Napkin Kin! I am back from vacation with a new drawing,
appropriately about traveling.
I love traveling for the education and the sights and the uniqueness of
the place. Going somewhere for just sun and sand and doing nothing is
the goal for some, but for me I want to see the world, meet the people,
see the art, the sports, and eat the food.
I find out who I am when I travel. Partly by seeing who I am not by experiencing
a culture I am not a part of, and partly by seeing who I am by how I react
to it all.
I know one thing it always makes me feel. And that is gratitude that I can see
the world and love that the world allows itself to be seen.
“A traveller without observation is a bird without wings.” – Moslih Eddin Saadi
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