The Nicest Thing – updated 2017
A Vintage Napkin from 2002 but with an eternal message of hope, especially when it is so COLD outside!
“The nicest thing about the promise of spring is she has to keep it!” – Mark Beltaire
All My Slavery – updated 2017
I am not talking about REAL physical slavery, that is evil with a capital EVIL and is not the slave’s choice.
I am talking about the hamburger, the cloud, the plane, the sun and anything else you can get yourself emotionally, psychologically, physically, chemically addicted to. We are our habits, so choose them wisely.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“All my slavery is the fruit of a free choice.” – Fulvio Fiori, 1955 – not dead yet, Italian author, director, actor
Our Choices – updated 2017
If you ever get caught up in a theological debate about pre-determinism or free will, about being chosen by God or making the choice yourself, always remember this. No matter what the intellectual and philosophical answer you take as true, you had to choose that answer. You had to choose to go through that intellectual door and believe it.
You had to choose to call, to audition, to drive, to take the risk, to ask for her hand, to say goodbye, to stay home, to try out, to try harder, to give up.
There is always a choice and you always make one, no matter what. No amount of intellectual flights of mind can change that. It may be all is pre-determined, who knows. But in the meanwhile choose wisely.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Even if our choices aren’t free, we aren’t free to not choose.” – Claude Roy, 1915-1997, French writer and resistance fighter
No Traffic Jams – updated 2017
Perhaps this means the less dedicated people fall by the wayside and only the committed ones remain on the road in that last decisive effort.
But I have a different take on it. It is not others who are out of the way in that last mile, it is YOU that is out of the way. The many yous who stood in the way of running, or biking, or working, or loving, whatever you put your true effort into.
Think of the process of arriving at the extra mile. I will use the example of running since that is what I do. I first have to decide to get dressed to run. I have the traffic in my head of what to wear, if it will be too light or too heavy for the weather. I have mind traffic saying it’s cold out, maybe raining, maybe sleeting, maybe 100 degrees, who knows. I have to make my way through that traffic until I decide, yes I am going to go run.
Then I have to drive to where my group meets and I have real traffic to contend with. But also worries about if I will be tight, fatigued, sore. If the route will be hard hills, long and windy, dark and filled with potholes. A lot of traffic in my mind. I wonder how I will do, if I will keep up with the group, if they will be talkative, silent, helpful, oblivious, or demanding. Who will be there, who will not.
Then I start running. In fact my legs do feel sluggish, my lower back does feel tight, I am very cold, I am making my way through the ifs, ands and buts of traffic in my mind. I make my way through the physical traffic. I make my way through the social traffic.
Finally, after a while (a minute for some, 3 hours for others, doesn’t matter), I am at my final mile. My mind is clear, my pain and fear and worries and distractions…my ‘traffic’ is gone. I am free. I am running free. I am at peace and I am fulfilled.
That mile never, EVER exists except at the very end. Run towards that mile in all you do and you will be happier and and more free than you have been able to imagine so far.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.” Roger Staubach, 1942-not dead yet, American football player with the Dallas Cowboys.
Dare Every Day – updated 2017
I know what you are thinking…’wow, that is so very random.’
Want to have fun and smile? Do this via email with a co-worker or friend today. Write one sentence and ask the other person to write another one slightly, but randomly, connected to the first one. Not a story type connection, just random thoughts. You can’t answer any questions, you have to just move on with a new thought or new questions. Don’t get yourself fired by saying something stupid though, ok?
Like this:
Did I tell you that this week is National Pancake week? Where did pancake makeup come from, anyway? Isn’t all cake made in a pan? What tree did Pan make his flute out of? Is a fluted column always going to have a Corinthian top? Is Corinthian leather really made in Corinth? Is there a bank in Corinth called 1st Corinthian Bank? etc. etc. etc.
Drawing and Commentary © Marty Coleman
“Dare every day to be irreverent and bold. Dare to preserve the randomness of mind which in children produces strange and wonderful new thoughts and forms.” – Gordon Webber, 1912-1986, American writer and advertising executive. Died in my favorite summer place, Montauk, Long Island.
Oklahoma Blog Awards!
The results are IN! The Oklahoma Blog Awards have been announced.
The winner in my category, Most Inspirational Blog, went to ‘Life is Real‘ by Jim Chastain. He documented his battle with cancer until it finally took him in December of 2009. I am honored to be the runner-up to his inspirational effort.
Someone I met for the first time this year, Natasha Ball, won best Tulsa blog and Best Culture blog for her ‘Tasha Does Tulsa’ blog. Congrats to her, she keeps Tulsa in the forefront and I always go to her blog to find out what is going on!
Check out the rest of the winners. A lot of great writers and blogs among them.
Courage Doesn’t Always Roar – updated 2017
I wonder what a lion actually feels after having failed to capture his or her prey. I wonder if there is regret, or anger, or embarrassment. It’s hard to imagine they have feelings organized intellectually like we do, being able to categorize them. But I don’t doubt they have the feeling we need to have that night or the next morning. They know they need to get up and try again.
A confessional and cautionary tale is needed here. Before I was the Napkin Dad, before I lived in Oklahoma and went into interactive and internet development and design, I was a teacher. I taught drawing, art appreciation, figure drawing, art and design at the community college level at 3 different institutions in Northern California. I was part-time for 9 years. I tried for 8 of those years to land a full-time position. I applied to hundreds of jobs all around the country.
The job with the least amount of applications over that time was in a west Texas town that had a prison as it’s main employer. They had over 100 applications. The job with the most applications was the University of Virginia, which had over 600 applications for the particular job I applied for. I was a finalist many a time, but never landed the full-time gig.
It took just as much courage for me to decide to give up on that dream and find myself another as it did for me to get up every morning for those 8 years and decide to try again. During the 9th year, instead of applying for teaching positions, I spent the time retraining myself as a commercial artist using computer software. I started applying for educational software design jobs and landed one in 1994. My family and I moved, sight unseen, to Tulsa and I began a new career as an entry-level employee at age 39.
Persistence is important, I believe in it. But wisdom is important too. Wisdom to know when to change direction, when to ask for directions, when to test the wind, test the waters, test yourself. Be wise and persistent.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ – Mary Anne Radmacher, American author
They Who Smile – updated 2017
A vintage napkin from 2003, given to my daughters’ in their lunches. Two daughters (at the time) were in high school and I drew a napkin for each of them.
Of course, it’s a balancing act. It isn’t realistic to just smile at all things. If you do you aren’t able to protest injustice, you aren’t able to let your anger be known, among other things. But in the end, the angry raging person is unhappy, becomes shrill and unattractive and as a result is weaker and less able to be a positive influence in the world.
If you have trouble finding the smile inside, try to think about what you get out of being angry. What does it feed in you, what does it validate, or hold at bay? Do you really need that anger and rage to be successful or happy in life? Take a chance, let go of it, just a bit. I bet you will smile at the results.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“They who smile rather than rage are always the stronger.” – Japanese proverb
The Windshield & The Bug – updated 2017
As luck would have it, one of my favorite songs is about luck!
It’s also about the ebb and flow of life, of fortune. You aren’t always on top, you aren’t always at the bottom. Knowing how to live within that ebb and flow, when to row, when to sail, when to seek harbor, when to ask for help, when to see others need help, all those are just as much a part of being successful in life as is money or other, more obvious things.
Check out the lyrics to the song ‘The Bug’ by Mary Chapin Carpenter. Listen to a piece and then download the song from iTunes. It’s on her ‘Come On, Come On’ album, 1992. It’s a great song to run to, by the way.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
Wisdom, Luck and Preening – updated 2017
Aren’t you lucky! It’s a ‘two-quotes-for-the-price-of-one’ luck napkin.
I put these two together on the same napkin because they are the carnal and intellectual sides of the same coin.
I like being older. I like having more wisdom than I used to. I like to think that I am a better person than I used to be. But I also know that that ‘wisdom’ is, in many cases, the stacking up of suitcases full of experiences. They are stacked in such a way that my ‘wisdom’ seems to have come from some far off place, but the reason I can see things as I do is because I have this great view from atop the suitcases.
I also know that that great view can make me think more of myself than I should. I can start to preen and strut that I have such a great view, that I have had such good luck. I start to think I made it all happen. That is the exact thought, if personified, would put the rocks in my path to make me trip.
Once again, humility is key in understanding luck and and living with good fortune.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quotes by:
“Wisdom adjusts itself to luck” – (top) Herbert Zbigniew, 1924-1998, Polish poet
“Wisdom adjusts itself to luck” – (top) Herbert Zbigniew, 1924-1998, Polish poet
“Man preens himself on his strokes of luck.” – (bottom) Paul Valery, 1871-1945, French poet
The Trial of Good Fortune – updated 2017
Lucky you, day 2 in my Luck series!
You know why sports heroes always sound so humble when they win the big game? Because they are well-mannered, that’s why. They know how they have felt in the past when they have lost and the winners have rubbed it in their faces. They know what a lack of character it shows. I know it might seem like such a cliche, but the truth is most sports figures know how lucky they are to be where they are. To win the big game they know that no matter how great one throw or one defensive move was, it wasn’t JUST that moment that really won the game.
What luck have you had in life? Have you been grateful, understanding the plethora of people who made it happen beyond your own control, or are you filled with your own self importance, the self-made man or woman who did it on their own! I don’t mean to diss the self-made person, but understanding how good fortune really works should always leave a person with some humility.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“One is never more on trial than in the moment of excessive good fortune.” – Quote by Lew Wallace, 1827-1905, Union General, American Civil War and Author of ‘Ben Hur’
Luck Affects Everything – updated 2017
Thanks to Donna G. and Jacqueline U. for suggesting ‘Luck’ as a new topic. Not sure how much of a series it will be, but it’s a series of one at least.
It’s pretty simple really, if you want to be lucky in life, put yourself out there to be lucky. With the lottery yes, you can just buy the ticket and go home. If you are the lucky one, even if you are ensconced in your solitary world, it will happen. But in most other ‘luck’ phenomenon you have to be out and engaged with the world for that luck to find you.
So, whether you are searching for a metaphorical fish or a real one , you won’t have the ‘luck’ you want unless you are out there casting your line.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Luck affects everything: let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it, there will be a fish.” – Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso), 43 BCE – 19 BCE, Roman poet
The Comfortable Opinion – updated 2017
Early on in life, when our opinions and ideas about things are not yet fully formed, and we might be parroting our parents or teachers or friends, we often raise our voices to express our opinion in inverse proportion to how comfortable we are with them. It’s as if we are trying them out to see how they fit but don’t want to admit it so we flaunt them with the assuredness only available to the young.
As we age we hopefully start to realize a few things. First, we don’t have to always prove ourselves. Second, we don’t have to change our mind to fit someone else’s opinion just because we listen to them, and third, we can still love those we disagree with.
I had a conversation recently with someone who said ‘people never change’. By that she meant, their base personality doesn’t change, and I, for the most part, agree with that. But I also feel like experience and wisdom and circumstances and habits can all modify, contract or expand one’s personality in new and better directions…IF one is deliberate about facing one’s self, willing to learn and grow and become more of their best self.
Then they will be comfortable in their own skin.
Speaking of, I forgot to mention which Super Bowl ad was my favorite. There were a few, but the one I liked best was the Dove Men + Care commercial that showed a furious montage of a man’s life from birth until his daughters are grown up. Then it cuts to him smiling serenely while laying on the grass. He is comfortable in his own skin is the idea.
Of course, Dove is advertising the reality that while a man might be comfortable in his metaphorical skin of life, his actual skin might need some help.
I thought the commercial was spot on for men about my age, and who knows, maybe the products are too. I will report back, ok?
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.” – John F. Kennedy, 1917-1963, 32nd President of the United States
Valentine’s Day – updated 2017
Every day these napkins are my valentine to you who read, learn, enjoy and share them with the world
Thank you,
The Napkin Dad
Love Is The Condition – updated 2017
Yes, this is a blatantly Valentine’s Day napkin.
Compatibility matters. Mutual interests matter. Attraction matters.
But nothing matters like working for your partner’s happiness. Nothing brings
about joy like realizing that what brings your partner happiness is something
within your grasp to give.
That’s a blissful moment of love.
Drawing and commentary © 2019 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to our own.” – Robert Heinlein, 1907-1988, American author
Loving Is Not Just Looking – updated 2017
Getting close now! Heart #9
Nothing is more exciting than feeling like you are going forward with someone you love. At the same time it’s important that you always remember that not all forward movement is in unison, some is by one person, some by the other. The important thing is to share that back with your partner…AND for you, as the partner, to care about what they care about.
If you sing in a choir and your wife doesn’t, share with her about that, let her know what it is like for you, so she can feel a part of your life. If you like to read, then share some of the stories, some of the ideas, feelings you have about what it is you read with your partner.
The best love is when two people know they are separate individuals but love leaning on and helping each other to achieve both the individual and the shared goals in life. That is really so fulfilling.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery, 1900-1944, French author Author of ‘The Little Prince’
Did you know he died while flying a reconnaissance mission over France during WWII?
Everyone is Kneaded – updated 2017
I found this quote via twitter a few days ago and really liked it. Thanks to @charvoice (Charlene Lewis). Thought I would take a ‘heart series’ break and put this one in the mix.
It’s important for me to always remember that I do not always know the circumstances and background of those around me. I don’t know how they were ‘baked’ in other words. That doesn’t mean I don’t hold them accountable for their actions, it means I don’t assume I know them; their motivations, their opinions or their feelings just because they are in the same room with me, or from the same state.
At my best it means I wait to judge until I know something real about them instead of just thinking they were baked like I was. That short-sightedness leads to the assumption that if they did that ‘thing’ (whatever it is), they must have had the same motivation or reason I would have had if I had done that same ‘thing’. It’s a bad assumption to make.
Anyone who has been married has experienced a spouse not understanding why you do what you do until they meet your family and experience the oven in which you were baked. Then they come home and say ‘NOW I understand why you are like that!’…not always in a nice way, either.
So, before you judge, get to know who it is you are judging, get to understand them. After that, judge away.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Everyone is kneaded from that same dough but not baked in the same oven.” – Yiddish Proverb
The Right To Criticize – updated 2017
A dark heart (#8) in the series today
I am not drawing this today because I feel dark or burdened in my heart. Actually the opposite is true. I am feeling some pretty good things lately about my family, my friends and myself.
I drew this today because around Valentine’s Day we always start to define who we love and why. We make decisions about who to send a card to, who to write a note to, who to ask out if you are single, how much to spend, how big a deal to make of it all with your spouse perhaps.
Kids have to decide who to give little valentine cards to at school. It’s all about figuring out who to show some love to at some level.
But this quote is deeper than that, it’s not about the cute love, it’s about the deep love. The love that allows you to criticize or question or even rail against the Gods if you have to.
I had a conversation a few years back that I still remember well. A friend mentioned that talking to this one person was hard because they weren’t sure they were going to get a trustworthy response. They needed to hear questions, doubts, ideas, criticism about what they were planning to do, but they thought this one person was simply going to agree with them, no matter what they said their course of action was going to be. They knew the heart was in the right place, but they wanted to hear more than just the pretty heart talk, they wanted the truth heart talk as that person saw it.
I appreciate those who combine both the sweet & kind with the real & true when they show me love. Sometimes more one than the other, sometimes both, sometimes only one. But I can trust that they are watching out for me and that ability to be both for me is the proof.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“They have the right to criticize who have the heart to help.” – Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865, 16th American President
Falling In Love – updated 2017
I am still rockin’ the ‘heart’ series ~ #7 here
The thing to remember about both of these actions, corking and uncorking, is they are deliberate. You get to choose to let your imagination out or keep it in, you choose whether to think sensibly or not. It may feel like it is something that just happens, and of course there is an element of that, but overall you choose your path in love. And that path starts with you uncorking your imagination.
If you have trouble figuring out what your imagination is, or how to tap into it, perhaps you can use this analogy: The imagination is a road you travel. There are stop signs along the road. Each stop sign is you or some other voice, telling you you can’t do something, can’t think something, someone won’t like you or your idea, you will be laughed at, you will fail, you will be hurt, you will look stupid, you aren’t smart enough, you don’t have the skills, and on and on and on.
So, the key is not to worry so much about whether you have an imagination, but to methodically come to each stop sign…and run over it!
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.” – Helen Rowland, 1876-1950, American author of ‘Reflections of a Bachelor Girl’ – 1909 and ‘A Guide to Men’ – 1922
In Love – updated 2017
Back to the Heart series, #6
I don’t know what this means actually, since I don’t speak French. Ok, it’s not IN French, but it is a French proverb, which is about the same.
Someone explain it to me, ok? Or, better yet, lots of people explain it to me.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.” – French proverb (which I already told you).
My Favorite Super Bowl – updated 2017
This is a drawing of my all-time favorite super bowl.
Big enough to feed a ton of people. I have had chips, salads, mashed potatoes, all sorts of stuff in it. It looks attractive and classy sitting on any table. It’s more tan than yellow, but you get the idea.
What is your favorite super bowl?
Drawing © marty coleman
To A Woman In Love – updated 2017
Day 5 of the Heart Series.
I have seen this to be true. They try and try and try to love and love and love. Then when that ‘too much love’ doesn’t stop the abuse or alcoholism or philandering or stupidity, they think it’s because they haven’t loved enough and the cycle starts over.
The strong woman, and in some cases the man, who can turn the corner and realize it isn’t the amount of love that is failing, it is the recipient of the love that is, will be able to get out of the situation and regain their emotional health.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“To a woman in love, loving too much is not loving enough.” – Ms. or Mr. Anonymous
Respect Is Love – updated 2017
Day 4 in the heart series
It’s as simple as that. Without the respect, no amount of dressing up the ‘love’ to go out will make a difference.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Respect is love in plain clothes.” – Frankie Byrne, 1922-1993, Irish radio broadcaster, known for her ‘Dear Frankie’ advice segment for 22 years.
A Man’s Heart – updated 2017
Day 3 of a ‘Heart’ series.
Did you see the updated blog home page? I have some new links to napkin info that you might want to read some day. Check it out when you have a chance.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“In love a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or parked in the wrong place.” – Rowland (that’s all I know)
Behold The Turtle – updated 2017
I had a couple of friends back in San Jose, California at the restaurant where I worked. They were a couple. The woman wanted the relationship to be more, while the man wasn’t able to decide what he wanted. They went out for many years. He was loyal to her, he was committed to her, he was happy with her. But he didn’t want to get married to her.
I remember sitting at the bar after a shift talking to him about it. His only reason was his fear of missing out on something. I asked what it was he might miss out on? Another woman? A career opportunity? Travel? He didn’t know. He just was worried about being boxed in and not doing what he wanted. What was it he wanted to do, I asked. He didn’t know, but he was afraid that when he did know he wouldn’t be able to do it.
My response? You are going to wake up in 10 years, not married, not having done any of the things you thought you would only be able to do alone because they turned out to be no fun to do alone. You are going to have a life that is free to do with as you please, and no impetus to live it because you have no one to share it with.
I suggested that his fear of being married had to do with an idea of what he thought marriage was suppose to be, instead of talking to his girlfriend about how they wanted to design their marriage, their love, their relationship. He was afraid based on what I thought was a lack of creativity and imagination about how to truly create what he wanted in life.
In the end, he didn’t ask her to marry him. I don’t know what became of either of them. Maybe they both found love. Maybe they are both still single. But I know that his inability to stick his neck out was keeping him from making progress in that relationship and in his life.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.” – James Bryant Conant, 1893-1978, American Chemist, President of Harvard University 1933-1953
The Napkin Dad