by Marty Coleman | Sep 30, 2010 | aha moment, James Russell Lowell, Tulsa |
When I was in Jr. High I had this fantasy. I was in a school bus and we had a wreck. The prettiest girl in school was hurt and I was the one who helped her. I can remember to this day the exact location of the accident and the little slope she was laying on as I bandaged her and stayed with her until the ambulance came. I was a hero in my fantasy.
In reality I never was a hero to that girl. We did eventually become friends and she wrote something nice in my yearbook. But I wasn’t a hero. It was just a sentiment and a desire to be a good person that stayed in my head.
But it illustrates this quote perfectly for me. A hero is someone who takes action for the benefit of others. It can be heroic, it can be small and easily overlooked. But the action is what is lovely, not the sentimental idea. Without the action, it’s just a dream, like my dreams of adolescent heroism.
Here are a few of my friends, fellow Tulsans, who have taken action in their lives. They are heroes. Check out their stories along with others.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by James Russell Lowell, 1819-1891, American poet, writer, diplomat
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 29, 2010 | Art, Elbert Hubbard |
When I was teaching drawing back in California in the 80s and 90s, I would often take my students on a field trip to San Francisco to see the museums there.
Without exception I always had one statement spoken by a student or two during these trips. Often it would be while looking at an abstract painting, or an art piece that wasn’t ‘pretty’.
The statement was this: “I wouldn’t put that in my house.”
It didn’t take long for me to come up with the perfect response. It was this: “That painting is worth $750,000.00. It won’t EVER be in your house.” I would continue, “You wouldn’t go to a ballet and make that statement about a ballerina. You wouldn’t because you know that the ballerina is to be admired in that moment of dance you are witnessing, not to be taken home forever. The same is true of art you see out in the world. It is for you to admire and explore now, in this moment. It isn’t for you to take home and have over your sofa. Judging it by whether you want it in your home or not is distracting you from enjoying it in the moment.” *
I feel the same way about many things others are quick to judge as if they are permanently attached to them and have to be declared unfit to be so, for whatever reason.
For example, I like people who walk by me with too much perfume on. I am not taking them home and living with their perfume. They are passing by and that fragrance will be gone momentarily.
I like people with:
too much makeup,
clothes too loud,
skin too tan,
and tattoos too ornate.
They are living art, music, dance, sculpture and multimedia extravaganzas in my world even if they don’t know it. I am not taking them home. I am just admiring the passing parade.
* Now, of course I do know there is art for purchase and it is to take home and in that case it’s right and proper to judge whether you can live with it or not.
Drawing, photos (except ‘tan’) and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Elbert Hubbard, 1856-1915, American artist and writer. Proponent of the Arts and Crafts movement.
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 28, 2010 | Aesop, Diego Velasquez |
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We judge ourselves by our motivations, and usually we aren’t actually intending to injure someone. You hear that defense in courtroom dramas all the time. I just brought the gun to the bedroom while she was sleeping with her lover to scare her…yada yada yada. No intent is the excuse.
But to fully balance out injuries done to you and those you inflict you can’t just look at intent alone. You have to look at effect. What was the effect of your actions on the other person? Even if you did not intend harm, if harm was done you are still culpable, if for no other reason than you didn’t know that person very well.
For example, with my family members I know some can take a verbal barb in good humor and I know others can’t. I don’t throw barbs at the ones who can’t take it because I know, even though I wouldn’t be intending to hurt the person, the affect would be that they end up being hurt.
That is one of the most important reasons to really pay attention to a person you care about. Not just what they say, but how they react with their body language and further interactions. You are trying to learn not just who they are, but how they react to you. You are trying to avoid hurting them and you can’t do that consistently if you don’t know them well.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Aesop, 620-564 BCE, Greek fable writer. Almost all biographical information on Aesop is mythical with many different locations and stories associated with him.
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| Aesop by Diego Velasquez, 1639 |
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 27, 2010 | Jessamyn West |
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I love irony. It’s kept me from being completely depressed and morose about what life has dealt more times than I can count. I don’t know if it came from my parents or somewhere else, but I have always sort of chuckled, shaking my head at the irony of a situation. It’s not that I don’t feel the pain, but I also see the absurd joke that has been played on me and can laugh at it.
A few examples from my life:
- Encouraging my first wife to explore and find herself, only to find she decided she wanted to do it without me.
- Having to leave my first college because it went bankrupt, moving on to a prestigious, well funded college that had no chance of going under, only to find my family had gone broke and couldn’t afford it.
- Moving up in my first job in Tulsa from entry level to Producer and Art Director within 1 1/2 years, only to see the company go bankrupt.
- Seeing the fastest, least sophisticated art I ever did become the most famous and well recognized work of my life (yes, I am talking about the napkins).
For me, one of the keys to enjoying my life, no matter what, is to be able to look back and enjoy the irony and still realize I am ok. The alternative is to be angry or resentful or bitter or depressed. Irony allows me to be outside myself and watch my life almost like a screenplay. I can say ‘wow, that was a funny scene, even if it shows me falling on my face’.
Do you have a sense of irony?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Mary Jessamyn West, 1902-1984, American writer and Quaker. Author of ‘The Friendly Persuasion. It was made into a movie in 1956 starring Gary Cooper and was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. She was a 2nd cousin of President Richard Nixon.
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 26, 2010 | Sketchbook History Tour |
While in the MFA program at San Jose State University ( I had left Cranbrook Academy of Art in Michigan after one year without an MFA) I started doing large scale photorealist drawings of people and objects that also included large expanses of grass.
At the same time I got into word play with the word ‘draw’ and its variations. This sketch combined those elements into what I thought was a pretty funny image.
Here are some other drawn things from that same sketchbook.
Drawings © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 25, 2010 | Free Will - 2010, Thomas Fuller |
Day #5 of ‘Free Will’ week at The Napkin Dad Daily
We all desire to do great things. But we can all get carried away by the desire and then find we lack the capability or resources to do that which we are so excited about.
When I first moved to Tulsa I worked in a small start up company making educational software (CD-Roms) for children. But to get the job I had to start at the bottom. The very bottom. I scanned hundreds of line drawings for animations. That is all I did. I would clean them up in the computer and off they would go to the animator. I was virtually unskilled labor at that point.
But I also had 20 years experience as an artist, 9 years experience as an art teacher and 14 years experience as a restaurant manager in a high stress, high volume restaurant. I had moved to Tulsa to take this job, taking a pay cut with the hopes that it would lead to a great opportunity in this new field.
I also had no fear. So, when the question was asked at a staff meeting who might like to learn the animation software (Macromedia Director) to help out I wanted to jump up and say ME! But the lead illustrator, senior to me by a long shot, had the first pick to do it. But he was used to drawing by hand and just wanted to keep doing that and working a bit in Photoshop. He said it would be a hassle to learn.
When he said no, I said yes.
Within a year and a half the animator, the art director, and the producer all either left the company or were let go. Guess who moved up into each of those positions? I did. And, more importantly, I succeeded in those positions. And it all started with me saying yes.
The lead illustrator, a negative bully, quit and went back to home construction, blaming our management for him not being able to go anywhere with his career.
So, my point is that the above quote, while true, is never to be used as an excuse. If you have the desire then of course you need to be honest about your capabilities. But not having full capabilities doesn’t mean you have NO capabilities. Your power is greater than you think and is most likely able to back up your will, if you will let it.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Thomas Fuller, 1608-1661, English churchman, historian and writer
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 24, 2010 | aha moment |
>Big News!
Yesterday I found out that your favorite Napkin Dad is one of 75 semi-finalists for the aha moment campaign, 2011!
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| Screenshot of my video interview. I am too shiny. |
If you remember back in May I was interviewed by the fantastic and fun crew of the ‘aha moment summer tour, 2010’. They just finished up their tour at the end of August having interviewed 1,000s of people. I have been honored to find out the Napkin Dad story is among the top 75.
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| Me outside the ‘aha moment’ airstream studio. |
Voting starts one week from today, on October 1st. I will post more specific information about the voting next week but in the meanwhile put it on your calendar!
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 23, 2010 | Arthur Schopenhauer, Free Will - 2010, Kim Baker, Thomas Shahan |
Day #4 of ‘Free Will’ week at The Napkin Dad Daily
Wow, what a dilemma this quote brings up. Does it mean we are not personally responsible since we can’t determine what we ‘will’? Does it mean we are destined by our genes, our DNA and parents, our heritage from centuries and millennia long past? What is in our control if that be the case?
The quote made me think about the photo lecture I was in charge of last night. We had a guest lecturer for our photo group. She is a landscape photographer here in Oklahoma, Kim Baker. What we got out of her lecture was one thing: Passion. She is passionate about the rivers of Oklahoma. She traipses through the most incredibly difficult terrain to camp out the night before, often by herself, so she can get up at 4-5 AM and capture the light, mist, dew, and atmosphere around the river before and as the sun rises. She ‘wills’ to do those things.
Two months before that lecture we had another guest, this one was into macro photography. He was photographing flies, insects and spiders of Oklahoma. Some have never been photographed in detail, ever. He is getting famous for his ability to capture them. To do so he has to do much the same as Kim. He goes out in the middle of nowhere and sits still in the dirt or brush or trees. He waits. Sometimes for hours. He has one successful photo out of perhaps 100 taken usually. He does it because he has one thing: Passion.
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| © 2010 Thomas Shahan |
The will is strong when there is passion behind it. Why we have the will is an interesting question. But it is basically about science or God or whatever else you can intellectually think about. But why we have it is not as important as if we exploit it. Do you ACT on that passion or do you just wish about it?
If you want to contribute to the world, you must ACT on your passion, not just think about it.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788-1860, German philosopher
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 22, 2010 | Free Will - 2010, Jawaharlal Nehru |
Day #3 of ‘Free Will’ week at The Napkin Dad Daily
Here is the interesting part. What about when you KNOW the cards you are being dealt? They are showing face up. Think about your school, spouse, job, house, car, city, clothing, hair style and more. You know and see all those things up front. You pick them with the most information you can have. You pick them of your own free will. And then? And then, you have to pick another card, and get rid of one or two. Then you have to combine them with other players’ cards. Then you have to fold and start over. Then you get a straight flush only to find out you aren’t playing a game where flushes mean anything.
Life is like a game of cards. Multiple games with many different rules. Playing isn’t easy, winning isn’t easy. But not playing, not taking the card, not making a decision is worse than playing and losing.
Play.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Jawaharlal Nehru, 1889-1964, Indian Statesman (Prime Minister 1947-1964)
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| Jawaharlal Nehru in a Nehru jacket |
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 21, 2010 | Art, Free Will - 2010, Willem de Kooning |
Day #2 of Free Will week at The Napkin Dad Daily
I taught college level drawing for 9 years back in the 80s and 90s. My first question to my students was this: What is the job description of an artist?
I always got a number of interesting answers, and I didn’t consider any of them wrong. But I had my own answer as well. It is this: To do whatever they want to do.
It sounds like I am being flippant, but I am completely serious about it. An artist is the one entity in the human world whose sole job it is to do whatever they want to do. It is what being an artist is all about. My contribution to the world is just that. The society I am in has asked the artists that inhabit it to be free. It’s asked me to give them my vision, not someone else’s. I have been ‘hired’ by the world to express whatever it is I feel like expressing. If I take on the job of artist, then that is my job description.
By the way, I am not talking about commercial artists who are hired to fulfill someone else’s vision. That is a completely legitimate thing and I often do that. I am talking about ‘fine’ artists whose is not hired by others, but does something then may or may not find a person willing to show it, buy it, publicize it, etc. All that comes after not before the creation in other words.
If this were a quote I made up I would have used the word ‘commanded’ instead of ‘forced’ but you get the idea.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Willem de Kooning, 1904-1997, Dutch born American painter, (one of the leaders of the Abstract Expressionist style)
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| Willem de Kooning – 1949, untitled |
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 20, 2010 | Free Will - 2010 |
I think I will have a ‘Free Will’ week here at the Napkin Dad Daily. That is of course unless fate intervenes.
I believe in free will.
I believe in fate.
I believe in controlling my own destiny.
I believe in universal forces beyond my control.
I believe I have the power to choose.
I believe I am sometimes powerless to choose.
I believe mistakes are just that.
I believe mistakes are meant to be.
In other words, I believe both are true. What about you, what do you believe about free will?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Hal Lee Luyah
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 19, 2010 | Sketchbook History Tour |
See, even back in 1982 I was drawing in church!
In 1982, after we moved to San Jose from a year in Michigan, Kathy and I found out about this little church in San Jose called ‘Bread of Life’. There had to be no more than 50 people max that attended. As a result we became fast friends with many of the group.
Here is an example of what a finished sketchbook drawing of the time looked like.
Here is an example of a faster drawing that if I had kept going would end up similar in style to the guitar drawing above.
The woman drawn here, Nita, and her husband Michael (not the guy playing guitar above) became our best friends for many many years during our stay in San Jose, even after we moved on from that church.
Drawings by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 18, 2010 | Gandhi |
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Two vintage napkins given on successive days to my daughters in the school lunches. They were in Middle and Senior High at the time.
What ‘sins’ would you add to this list? Would these make your list of sins? How would you alter or change them?
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 17, 2010 | Road Trip, Seattle Road Trip, William Cowper |
Whether it is lack of knowledge or lack of character we are all dunces in some way. But get yourself out the door (or be sent by someone else) and you will be a better dunce. And if there is one thing I bet we can all agree on, the world needs a better quality of dunces.
I am a better dunce after my grand road trip adventure with my daughter to Seattle. Here are a few reasons why:
Meeting new people: A wonderfully engaging woman, Robin, in a little teeny coffee shack in the middle of Montana. She talked with Chelsea all about Seattle and all the fun opportunities there, the connections she has, the music, art, etc. It got Chelsea excited. It got Robin excited. She was animated on the high plains and it was great.
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| Bozeman Barista |
Old Friends: When we lived in San Jose from 1981-1994 we were good friends with the Savages. They had 2 daughters about the ages of our daughters and they were all great friends. They now live in Spokane and we stayed the night at their home. Being with them brought back wonderfully fun memories, including watching a video of their daughter’s 6th birthday party with all my daughters and me in it. It was a lot of fun.
More than those memories though was the present day experience of being with 2 of the most incredibly wonderful people you would ever want to meet. Martha, talkative and funny, understanding and kind. A better bed and breakfast hostess there has never been. Bob, quiet and stoic, insightful and probing. He is animated when the right topic comes along but always retains an thoughtful way of engaging in conversation. He was a fantastic tour guide to the amazing city of Spokane for us.
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| The Savage family in Spokane, Washington |
Their older daughter, Elizabeth, came to dinner and what an amazing thing to see childhood friends of my daughter all grown up. She has her parent’s great qualities in her. Their younger daughter, Sharon, one of Chelsea’s closest childhood friends live in, of all places, Seattle. So, right there bonus score for Chelsea and her hopes of connecting to people in Washington.
All this makes me want to get back out on the road again soon because I always want to be a better dunce!
Drawing, photos and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by William Cowper, 1731-1800, English poet
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 16, 2010 | Road Trip, Seattle Road Trip, Travel |
Time to pack it in! After 5 days on a road trip to Seattle, 2 days there and 3 more in San Diego I am looking forward to home.
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| The Baby and the Plane of Smiles |
Sometimes you hear horror stories about babies on planes. But this one, in the waiting area and on the plane, just made people smile. Sweet, funny, calm, and not crying. What more could one ask for!
I am a friendly guy, I like to engage in conversation and like meeting new people. I know some people don’t like doing that on planes and I respect that when I sit next to someone who obviously isn’t into it. But this time around the person I met added a nice full-circle ending to my trip.
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| D Seeing the Road Ahead |
D noticed me drawing and that got us in a conversation about art, college, majors, etc. She is a biology major and wants to be a doctor. She just moved to the west coast, first time away from home. 4 months ago she married her childhood sweetheart, a Marine, stationed at Camp Pendleton in San Diego county. Talk about a radical, crazy new phase of life! Although the situation isn’t exactly the same, I started out driving with my daughter to her new home on the west coast where she is going to be building a new life with a new beau. It will be her first time living completely apart geographically from family and friends. Now I am ending my journey talking to a stranger on a plane who is living a similar story. I love that.
I parted ways with her in Houston where she was headed and I was continuing on to Tulsa. I felt good about her chances for a happy life just as I did when I left Chelsea in Seattle the week before.
Now on to Tulsa where I expect to see my wife at the gate waiting for me. Not at the baggage claim, but at the actual gate, like in the old days. How can that be you ask? Because, ironies of ironies, my wife is about to go on a business trip to Houston and is taking the exact same plane I am arriving on! So, I am getting off, kissing her hello, kissing her goodbye and driving home to a household of animals. Not the optimal homecoming but it’s even worse for Linda since she has been the one home working all the while I have been traipsing around the country.
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| Hello Goodbye |
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate and love her for that. She works really hard in a really stressful job. She travels more than she likes and for her to have to leave as I arrive does not make her a happy camper. But it was fun to have her at the gate, no doubt!
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 15, 2010 | Road Trip, San Diego, Seattle Road Trip |
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Southwest Airline napkin.
The hat is formed out of the route I took across the country and back. |
At age 6 I moved away from Del Mar, California. For many decades no one in my family lived there, or anywhere close. Now, 50 years later my father and sister live in the area and I go back to visit regularly. It feels like home, always has and always will. The ocean air, the wispy low beach fog in the morning, the smell of the Eucalyptus trees and the feel of the sun all are as natural to me as can be.
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| Sketchbook – Sleeping Woman on a Plane |
I flew down to San Diego (Del Mar is just north of the city) and spent a few days with my younger sister, Jackie and her family. I also spent a good amount of time with my 92 year old father, Skeets. He is frail and doesn’t remember much, but he is still enjoying life.
He has had a long career in aviation, first in WWII as a fighter pilot in the South Pacific, then as a test pilot, jet salesman and aviation magazine publisher. You can read about his exploits and fame here.
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My father, Skeets Coleman, (famous aviator) and
myself (famous napkin dad). haha |
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 14, 2010 | Road Trip, Seattle Road Trip, Travel Napkins |
Deep Thoughts and the Barista
We have arrived in Seattle, our final road trip destination! My daughter has been a barista for quite some time, as well as a coffee roaster, office manager, and everything else in the coffee business. So, of course the first thing we did when arriving in Seattle was to hit a nice coffee house! I drew this after meeting a barista who didn’t quite look like this (she was happier looking) and having a conversation with Chelsea about obligation. I couldn’t think of a way to succinctly ‘quote’ our conversation so I did a little question/riddle type thing. Coffee will do that to you, you know.
Anyway, the goal has been achieved and she is now off to start her new life!
I am on to visit family in San Diego for a few days before heading home.
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 13, 2010 | Road Trip, Seattle Road Trip, Travel Napkins |
We spent time in Yellowstone National Park, looking at Bison and Waterfalls and bubbling mud pots of steam. It made us imagine what the first people who saw this area must have thought, how scary it must have been for the native peoples to traverse this landscape, for the Europeans to do the same. How that scared quality actually drove them on.
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| Yellowstone River from above the falls |
Chelsea is moving to Washington, 1,000 of miles away from home. That is scary. I know she will do well, but it’s still a courageous move and there are fears and unknowns to overcome. I am proud of her and I think facing those fears will make her an even better person than she already is.
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| Objects in mirror are larger than they appear. |
What fear are you facing down today?
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 12, 2010 | Road Trip, Seattle Road Trip |
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The Bagel Maker and the Bison
We stopped at a red light and asked a guy with a very hoarse voice where a good place to eat was and he squeeked out ‘bagels on broadway’ so off we went on a search in Missoula, Montana. What a beautiful town. It’s a college town (U of M is there I think) so it has that college town vibe to it. We found the place and had great bagels. We told them we were from the bagel capital of the world, Tulsa, Oklahoma so they were mightily impressed.
The quote for the napkin came from the magnetic poetry thing that was in front of us at the counter. Here is a picture of it.
I did a caricature of the bagel maker for my napkin. She wasn’t in a great mood but by the end of our time there she was smiling and happy. Our mission to get a bagel and spread joy was complete. Here she is with the napkin.
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| Caitlin the Bagel Maker in Missoula, MT |
Sorry I have been so lame about posting, the trip has been more fun and more time consuming that I anticipated!
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 10, 2010 | Road Trip, Seattle Road Trip |
My first brown napkin ever! Got it at the Super 8 Motel at breakfast in Buffalo, Wyoming after a day getting to Badlands National Park JUST as the sun set! But we found an ultra cool abandoned church and took some pics there.
And just a few minutes later we got into the park and got to see some bison and witness the sunset. It was gorgeous. We even got a pic of us at just the right moment!
Next stop, Yellowstone National Park!
Drawing and photos (all from my iPhone, ‘good’ pics from my camera to come later) by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily.
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 6, 2010 | Road Trip, Seattle Road Trip |
A little napkin in a little motel in little Concordia, Kansas during our little breakfast.
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A graveyard named Pleasant Center. Rural Kansas, sunset
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Cuz it costs 15 cents just to flush it, said the man. Pay toilet, rural Oklahoma
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On our way!
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 5, 2010 | Road Trip, Seattle Road Trip |
Hello Napkin Kin!
I am going to be on a road trip this week and a bit into next. I will be driving from Tulsa, Oklahoma to Seattle, Washington (about 2,000 miles) to help my daughter move. I will then fly down to San Diego, California to visit my 92 year old father and my sister and her family.
I will be drawing on whatever napkins I find along the way, at diners, fast food joints, hotels, wherever. It might be a quote, might be something funny I heard, who knows.
I will also be taking photos and posting them. Let’s hear stories of your road trips with links to your photos as well, ok?
If you are on my route go out and wave as I pass by, ok?
Friend,
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 4, 2010 | W. H. Auden |
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A Vintage Napkin from 2002 that I put in my daughters’ lunches.
So now you know why you are here. Next question.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by W. H. Auden, 1907-1973, American poet
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 3, 2010 | Ogden Nash |
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Don’t I know you?
The other thing that happens is when you actually do meet up with a person you know from your past, from years or decades before. This is especially true now that we have social media. I find new people virtually every single day. I like that.
Have we ever met?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Ogden Nash, 1902-1971, American Poet
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 2, 2010 | Vilhelm Ekelund |
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FIND THE UNFAMILIAR BEAUTY: A Challenge
Of course, for this to happen, one must recognize beauty when it crosses our path.
It’s not hard to find the familiar beauty. Everyone knows what that is for them. What I love to practice is finding the unfamiliar beauty. The beauty of the thin lips, pale skin and elongated face. The beauty of the odd cracks in my driveway. The beauty of the shed snake skin in my garden. The beauty of the sweat on someone’s back as they run. The beauty of the dress that is panned on the red carpet. They all tell me something. The all become my thoughts.
Here is your assignment for the day: Find the unfamiliar beauty. Report back in the comments. Include a link to a photo of this unfamiliar beauty if you have one.
The key to finding beauty where you don’t think it exists is in minimizing the judgment and maximizing the exploration.
Drawing by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Vilhelm Ekelund, 1880-1949, Swedish poet and aphorist
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