These black and white film portraits were taken in the late 80s and early 90s in and around San Jose, California.
Bob, Eulipia Restaurant, 1990’s
He was an aspiring actor and a restauranteur. I took this photo for his actor head shot portfolio in the restaurant he co-owned.
Leslie, San Jose, California, 1990s
I met her through a mutual friend. She wanted some glamorous images of herself before she hit her 30th birthday. I was upstairs in her home changing lens while she went downstairs to get ready for the next set. I happen to see the last bit of sunlight come through a high window and fall on her couch. I quickly directed her to jump on the couch as is and get her face into the light. This is the result less than a minute before the sun sliver disappeared.
Sharon and Carol, Santa Clara County, 1990s
The woman on the left was a customer of mine when I waited tables. We became friends and eventually she hired me to do some family portraits of her and her sister. They were a bit competitive for the spotlight and it was fun to compose and direct them so they both could shine.
Ruth, Santa Cruz, California, 1990’s
There is a fantastic beach north of Santa Cruz, California with caves, cliffs and sand in myriad textures and forms. This friend wanted to take some natural portraits in a beautiful light environment and this is the place we chose.
Julie, San Jose, California, 1990s
Sometimes simple and easy does the trick. We were behind a friend’s apartment trying to figure out some photo locations when I spotted her just sitting and waiting for something to happen. It was the best shot of the day.
Lauri, San Jose, California, 1990s
Symmetry can often be pretty boring but in this case the little bit of translucence to the outdoor wall gave enough difference between the sides to make a strong dynamic interplay with her pose.
It’s a PLUS that today is day #5 of Bad Habits Week at the NDD!
Which is the larger amount in your case, the good or the bad?
Quote by Benjamin Franklin, 1706-1790, American Inventor, Printer, Satirist, Businessman, Scientist, Publisher, Writer, Revolutionary, Politician, Statesman and community organizer.
This is getting to be a habit seeing as it’s Day #4 of Bad Habit Week at the NDD.
My first wife was bothered by my fingers. Not in all circumstances, but when we would be sitting doing something I would have a habit of fidgeting with them I guess, and it bugged the hell out of her. That bad habit magically disappeared when we divorced and she moved out of the house.
What bad habit do you have, or your spouse/family member/roommate have that makes you or them crazy? Was anything every done about it? Make it a habit to leave a comment about habits, ok?
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you cannot fulfill your habit for an extended period of time? Maybe you went backpacking and couldn’t smoke during the trek. Maybe the power went out and you couldn’t watch TV. Maybe you became unemployed and could no longer shop like you used to.
Sometimes the best thing that can happen to you is an accident of circumstances. Without you planning it you are forced to do without. What is your reaction when this happens? It might make you fidget and pace. It might make you easily irritated. But after a while that habit has less of a hold on you than you realized. You can take that hike without a cigarette. You can live without new shoes every week. You can survive without your favorite reality TV show.
So be open to trying something new, be open to adventure, not for it’s own sake, but for what it forces you to do without. And maybe in the process you will discover that you don’t need that habit after all.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Leo Aikman, 1908-1978, American journalist and speaker
Napkin Dad Trivia – I was blown up in a boat explosion and burned on 70% of my body when I was 18 years old. I spent 7 weeks in the ICU Burn Unit at Kings County Hospital, Brooklyn NY. I consider it one of the most important and positive events of my life. I have awesome scars, you should see them!
The only way I can cope is to present day #2 of Bad Habit week!
Have you ever looked at your habits and thought about when they developed? A good many of them probably started when you were quite young. Why did they develop? One possibility is that they developed to help you cope with something in your life.
Maybe it was your parents’ alcoholism, as in my case. Maybe it was domestic abuse, or being left alone a lot. Perhaps it was an over-controlling or hypercritical parent. As a result you might have made a habit of escape, or defensiveness, or pretending. And maybe those habits served you well, maybe they really did help you cope.
But what about now? Do you still need that habit to cope? Do you still have that parent around you? Are you still bullied at school or under pressure from someone? Or is it now just a habit without a purpose?
If that is the case, maybe you don’t need it any more.
What are the habits you would like to do away with?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily Quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, German writer
Napkin Dad trivia – I mentioned above about my parents’ alcoholism. My mother spent 3 months at an alcoholic rehab hospital in 1973. She was sober from then on until her death in 1988. My father also quit drinking around the same time (though he sometimes would fall back into it a bit, but never with the same fervor) and is still sober at age 93. I quite drinking in 1993.
This could easily be called addiction week as well, but I wanted to use the word habit because it applies in more cases. Not everyone is an addict, but everyone has habits. Some can be quite debilitating and destructive so whether we call it an addiction or a habit, it still is a subject that everyone deals with at some level.
The problem with habits is that often times we don’t realize we have them until we get in a relationship. When that happens the other person is close enough often enough to see the habit in action, we can’t hide it. But if we are lucky they are also close enough to say something about it to us. It might be something as simple as leaving the top off the medicine bottle. It might be something as severe as continually hurting someone’s feelings with a facial expression and verbal response.
Even if we are lucky enough to have someone who will point out our bad habits, we still have to decide in our own brain to do something about it. And one thing is for certain, you won’t change a habit by continuing to do the habit. You must adjust. It might be a complete different direction, it might be a slight course change, but whatever it is, you have to decide to do it.
The key is to not be overwhelmed by the task. You don’t have to change your life goal by redefining a new destination, you just have to change take one small step in a new direction. It might be a decision to buy healthier food today at the grocery store. It’s not a decision to ALWAYS and FOREVER ONLY buy healthy food. It’s just a small decision today to buy healthier food. Do that one thing and you have changed your direction and that is enough. Worry about the next trip to the store when you take it, not today.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad DailyQuote is a Chinese proverb
Napkin Dad Trivia – I learned to fly airplanes when I was 13 years old.
I took a LOT of slides back in the 80s. My then father-in-law was a big slide film fan and I became one as a result. I recently decided to experiment with scanning these old slides on my flat bed scanner. The results are evocative and mysterious.
Since it’s such a hot summer I thought I would post a selection of summer photos from that era.
Diver, Almaden Swim and Racquet Club, San Jose, California, 1980sSwimmer, Almaden Swim and Racquet Club, San Jose, California, 1980sDigging, Santa Cruz, California, 1980sFlip, Almaden Swim and Racquet Club, San Jose, California, 1980sSunbather, San Jose, California, 1980s
Alas, we have reached the end of ‘The Gospel According to Harry Potter’ Week.
In the first book, Harry finds a mirror that allows him to see his now dead parents looking down on him. He is comforted and sits in front of the mirror for lengthy stays again and again. Finally Headmaster Dumbledore comes to Harry and encourages him to move forward in life with the above quote.
In the New Testament dreams play a major role in moving Joseph, the father of Jesus, to take action. He first is told in a dream to not worry about the consequences of marrying Mary after she has proclaimed she is pregnant. After Jesus is born he is again told in a dream that his family is in danger and he needs to leave the country and go to Egypt. In both cases he obeys the dream’s directive.
Harry was stuck in a dream of ‘what if’ and Dumbledore had to gently coax him out of it into his real life. Joseph, on the other hand, was in a different type of dream, a dream encouraging action. He had to decide to obey the dreams or not.
That is the key after all, isn’t it? Dreams, especially dreams of what you want to have happen in life, aren’t really of much use unless you act on them and make them real.
Life doesn’t happen in dreams, life is only imagined in them.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by J.K. Rowling, British author, 1965 – not dead yet. Quote spoken by Albus Dumbledore in ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’. Some interesting notes on the writing of Harry Potter:
You probably know that J.K. Rowling thought of the idea for the books while on a train trip. But did you know she did not have a pen with her? She was too shy to ask anyone to borrow one so she sat and thought the entire story out in her mind for 4 hours before getting off the train and getting to a location where she could get a pen and start writing it down.
You probably know that the much of the story was figured out before she started writing the first book. But did you know she actually wrote the last chapter of the entire series at the time she wrote the first book?
You probably know the manuscript was rejected by many publishers. But did you know it took 7 full years from the inception of the idea on the train until the actual publication of the book?
I am not draggin’ even if it is day #4 of The Gospel According to Harry Potter!
In ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’ Ron asks a rhetorical question at the end of the school year. It’s been a crazy year with death, mayhem, and yes, dragons. He asks, “Do you think we will ever have a quiet year at Hogwarts?” Hermoine replies, “No” to which Ron responds with the above quote.
I was thinking of drawing a scary dragon but I have seen a trend in the story that made me draw a friendly one. What I saw was Harry and his friends constantly being confronted with what looks like an enemy only to find that that enemy is, or could be, a friend. It isn’t true with everyone, but between a villain who turns out to be a godfather (a good godfather, not the mafia type), a giant that turns out to be gentle and creepy skeleton type winged horses that are very helpful we have many examples of an enemy turning into a friend.
Jesus teaches the underlying lesson and it’s quite simple. It’s not enough to love your friends, you must endeavor to love your enemies as well. How does this relate? You can’t love someone or something without getting to know them. Loving from a distance isn’t really love. That only happens when you get up close and personal enough to find what there is to love about the person or thing. It means you forego judgment and take the time to find out what is truly there.
Abraham Lincoln had a great response about this same idea. He said, “Am I not destroying an enemy when I make them my friend?”
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by J.K. Rowling, 1965-not dead yet, British author. Spoken by the character Ron Weasley.
I have a question for the Napkin Kin who look closely at the drawings and like seeing new things. There is something about this drawing that is unique. It’s not about the content, just about a small something I did a bit differently than usual in this drawing. Can you see what it is?
“All things are lawful, but not all things edify.”When Harry Potter looks into the Pensieve in ‘The Goblet of Fire’ he isn’t at all aware of it’s danger. He simply sees this glowing thing while alone in Dumbledore’s office and goes to take a look. It turns out to be a memory machine of sorts, a way for Dumbledore to remember what has happened and what Potter sees in it is important for the story. Dumbledore’s admonition about curiosity isn’t all that convincing in that specific instance but as a general rule it has it’s wisdom.
In the New Testament Paul of Tarsus writes something similar, but within a different context. He is dealing with a group of people who have been freed from a very restrictive set of laws and rules about what is and is not a sin. They are free. But now they need to learn a new way of judging what is good or bad. It can no longer be based on outside rules, it has to be based on something closer to home, more personal. Paul clarifies what that is in this passage from his first letter to the followers in the city of Corinth:
In other words, yes, you are free to pursue what peaks your curiosity. But beware, just because you are curious about it doesn’t mean it’s the best thing to investigate. Investigate your own motives and the potential risks before you perhaps fall headlong into a hole.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily Quote by J. K. Rowling, 1965- not dead yet, British author. Spoken by Albus Dumbledore in book #4, Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire.
One of the hardest things to accept is that we can plan the future in great detail and still have no guarantee it will turn out according to our plans. There are too many overlapping elements of cause and effect taking place for precise predictions to be very accurate.
J. K. Rowling’s story is a good example of that. When she started the first book of the Harry Potter series she had a pretty good idea of the overarching storyline. But then her mother died unexpectedly at age 45. That single unpredicted event caused her to heavily refocus the story to have Harry more emotionally in turmoil over the death of his own parents.
One of the strongest elements of the Harry Potter series is the realistic depiction of what a young person goes through when everything they hold dear is taken away. It allows many who read the books to relate to Harry in a way they otherwise might not have. We can’t say for certain, but it’s very possible that one element was critical in the huge audience response, and IT could not have been predicted. Jesus addresses this same issue when he talks about the uselessness of worry, especially about the future. He knows that it’s impossible to control the future (and the past) so in his mind it is much better to think about what you can and should do in the here and now, to solve today’s problems.
Read Matthew 6 in the New Testament for the specific teaching. The chapter ends with ‘Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.’
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by J.K. Rowling, 1965-not dead yet, British author. Quote is spoken by Albus Dumbledore in book #3 – Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
My daughter Caitlin has been reading and watching the Harry Potter books since she was 10 years old. It’s now coming to an end and she is very nostalgic about it all. We are watching ALL the movies, one a night, for 7 days. THEN we will go see the last movie.
I heard a great quote spoken by Headmaster Albus Dumbledore in the second movie, ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’. When I came to draw the image to go along with the quote the obvious example that came to mind was the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
The story is thus: Jesus is being asked how someone can attain eternal life. His response is to ask what is written in the law and how does the questioner reads it.
The questioner gives the answer, “Love your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself” to which Jesus agrees.
The questioner is being a bit defensive at this point and asks, “But who is my neighbor?”
In response Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan.
A man is beaten, robbed and left for dead on the road to Jericho. A priest sees the stricken man, moves to the other side of the road and walks on by. A Levite (one of the 12 tribes of Israel, the tribe from which priests are chosen) also walks by, sees the man, moves to the other side of the road and walks on by. Finally a Samaritan (an ethnic group that did not get along well at all with the Jews of the era) walks by, sees the man, goes over to him and helps him with his injuries. He then takes him to an inn and stays with him overnight. The next morning he gives the innkeeper money enough for 2 more nights. He asks the innkeeper to take good care of him until he returns, at which point he will pay whatever extra expenses have accrued.
Jesus then asks the questioner, “Who among the three travelers was the neighbor?”
The questioner answers, “The one who showed mercy on him.”
Jesus answers, “Go and do the same.”
Dumbledore is teaching the same lesson. What you choose to do is more important than whatever talent or prestige you may have. Many have immense talent and ability but waste it doing stupid, evil, wasteful things. Many who have minimal talent use what they have for good. That is what matters, what you do with what you have.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by J. K. Rowling, 1965-not dead yet, British author
I have set aside several Sundays to show you some of my photography. I used film until 2005 so any images predating then you can assume are film images, any after that will be digital.
Woman With Oval, 1980
In 1980 I started graduate school at Cranbrook Academy of Art in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. There was a young woman manning the gift shop at the museum and she allowed me to do a series of portraits of her. The best of the bunch were the oval series with the ceiling light alcove being the only other thing in the image.
Woman in Snow and Mist, 1981
My wife at the time had a job at a restaurant in the nearby town. A fellow waitress was hoping to do some modeling so we took some time to do some portfolio shots. We also did some shots on a very gray, foggy day that were mysterious and moody. These were my favorite shots from that year.
Woman and Triangle, 1980
I got a work-study job in the Cranbrook Museum, helping to install exhibitions. One of them was a conceptual art exhibition that took up all the galleries. One of the rooms was a series of geometric wall drawings in pastel by Sol LeWitt. We did the actual drawings with specific instructions from LeWitt as to how they should be realized. When I had some time off from the project I brought in a fellow student and took some photos of her with the walls being prepped as a background.
It’s time to toll the bell. It’s the final day of Public Speaking Week at the NDD.
I come from a family who has the Irish gift of gab and I don’t think any of us would say fear of public speaking is big on our list of phobias. I wouldn’t rather be dead, that’s for sure. I do get plenty nervous though. Usually that is much earlier in the week leading up to the speaking engagement when my presentation hasn’t yet come together. It’s just a hodge podge of images and ideas searching for a hook to hang themselves on. Until I figure out the hook I am very nervous.
It really isn’t a fear of speaking in public. It’s a fear that I won’t be ready, that I won’t have done my job to inform, entertain or enlighten my audience. But once I do find that hook I start to organize the presentation and can start to practice it. Then the nervousness dissipates and confidence that I can do it builds.
My first practices usually are before I am done, maybe just the first third. But the act of practicing it is often the activity that helps me discover the unifying series of words (the hooks) that will make the ideas and images have some logic and purpose behind them. It all starts to lead somewhere in other words.
A couple of days before the presentation I usually am starting to practice the whole thing, timing it and making changes in imagery and flow to make sure what I am saying is as clear as I can make it within the time allotted. In my last presentation I was practicing in my car in the parking garage an hour before I was due to be on stage. That last run-through made a big difference in my confidence.
Do you suffer from fear of public speaking? If you do, what do you do to overcome it?
And so you say to yourself, “Wait a second, this is a writing lesson, not a speaking lesson!” And you are right. BUT, where do you think speeches start? They all start by being written. The only difference is the delivery, will your audience read it or listen to you speak it?The key in writing, no matter the delivery, is edit, edit, edit.
I used to develop, design and write a large website for a medical college. I had to spend a lot of time with doctors who wanted to put up information about their department, research, etc. My main effort was always in first convincing them that their audience on the website was not primarily an academic audience but a general information audience. Then, after they edited down their material based on my instructions, I took that same material and winnowed it down much further with my own edits.
It had to fit the audience expectations, and the expectations for the web reader was to be able to get quick, easily seen and understood information. We always gave them access to more detailed, scholarly information if they wanted it, but the vast majority didn’t.
Who is your audience? It’s important to consider whether writing a query letter to an agent, a thank you note, a novel or a speech. Write for them and leave out the parts they will want to skip.
I am at the edge of ‘Public Speaking Week’ at the NDD!
Speakers have authority. People tend to believe anyone up on a pedestal, altar, dias, podium or stage. Anyone with a microphone, basically. My keynote speech last week was on ‘Change’. I started the presentation with a series of slides explaining my eminent qualifications as an expert in change. They included a photo of when I was younger and when I was older. Photos of when I had hair, and now that I don’t. Photos of me before I had kids, and now that I do.
It was meant to be humorous and it was followed by the statement that if those things made me an expert, then all of my audience were also experts in change. I then proceeded to give some examples from my personal experiences of change and what I learned from them.
The truth is, the reason I was qualified to talk about change isn’t because I have a degree in it. And it’s not even because I have lived it. It’s because I have thought about it. In the end, the experts are those who study. Those who do the research; who examine, investigate, dig, ask questions, evaluate, ponder and ultimately are able to come up with some conclusions.
They aren’t conclusions set in stone, they are conclusions so far in the journey of discovery. That is what we should always remember about listening to authority, i.e. anyone with a microphone and a stage of some sort. They may be persuasive and compelling, but in the end, YOU have to decide whether you believe them. You have to look out in front of you for that cliff because after all, the person talking is looking back at you, not at the path in front.
I am dealing it during Public Speaking Week at the Napkin Dad Daily.
I am a sucker for great speeches. Political speeches, award acceptance speeches, intellectual idea speeches, even sermons. I can get inspired, choked up, motivated, curious, angry, happy and more. All because of a bunch of words strung together. It’s hard not to be persuaded by words sometimes, even when you know you are being manipulated, as in commercials.
What types of words, speeches, writings, etc. do you get influenced by easily? Is there one particular person or group? One particular style of speaking that addicts you?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Rudyard Kipling, 1865-1935, English writer
I gave a Napkin Dad presentation this past weekend to the Oklahoma 4H Parent Volunteer Conference. It took place at the OSU Alumni center in Stillwater, OK. The topic was ‘Coping with Change Within and Without’.
I spent many hours getting the presentation ready. I first threw in all sorts of napkin drawings and ideas that I felt applied. While I did this my ideas were all over the map. It was disconcerting. I don’t like that feeling of not having the message together, knowing it just doesn’t make sense yet. I was nervous, would I be able to find a cogent message?
At that point I hadn’t really found the major points to hang the presentation on. I was like a gold miner looking all over the mountain, with just a few clues as to where the gold might be. I eventually stumbled upon a set of compelling ideas. That made me worried, could I make the ideas make sense together?
Once I did that, the task became even harder. It was editing and arranging time. What drawings and quotes went with the ideas. Which ones would be visually interesting? Which ones would confuse and distract the audience? Did I need more drawings or less? That made me anxious, would I be able to fit my presentation to the time allotted?
Finally I started practicing the presentation, even though it was only the first half I had together. Giving the speech to myself helped me understand what was working because I found myself completely stopped dead in my tracks saying ‘uh’ many times. It was my clue that I needed to work more. I started to build the second half, arranging and rearranging it. I ended up doing about 4-5 dry runs of the presentation. My last dry run was in my car, an hour before I had to give the presentation, parked in the parking garage. That made me increasingly confident, knowing I had the ideas, organization, message and timing pretty well covered. But I worried, wondering if I would be able to stay on topic, keep the pace and timing going in a dynamic situation.
By the time I was up in front of the crowd I was comfortable. I was feeling that I could do it, and do it well. I think I did. One can never know, some may have thought it was confusing, some too long, some too this or that. but in my mind I gave them my best.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
It’s the final day of ‘Change Week’ at the NDD.
Next week it will CHANGE to something else!
The child learns from the parents.
Do you want to influence your child to become someone better? Then show him or her the benefits and value of that change by making it in yourself first. NOTHING will be more effective.
When your child sees you growing and becoming something better, whether it is you overcoming an anger issue, an addiction, a tendency to judge others or a million other things, they remember it. Showing your child by your example, that it can be done and that you have the courage and the strength to do it, is what that same child will remember when it comes their time to move forward and change something about themselves.
The day has changed but the topic remains the same, namely CHANGE.It’s Change Week at the NDD.
Bessie here likes that some forgetful soul left the gate open for a change. She thinks she will walk to the big city in the distance and get a job, maybe find a boyfriend. She thinks that would be a cool thing to do, considering the way things are. It would be a nice change. She is going to take advantage of the way things are to change the way things are.
For everything to stay just the way it is; no big changes, no small changes, what must happen? Nothing must happen. What are the chances of nothing happening? Not much, I agree. So, you can assume change will happen.
What are you going to do to change the way things are?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Bertolt Brecht, 1898-1956, German playright
I read a blog post today from a man who is dead. It was written before he died and posted by his family when he passed. He talked about something that you don’t often hear discussed. He said he was making the great transition from human organism to corpse. My thinking about what it means to be at an end of something changed a bit after reading that. Even when we are finished, what we really are is finished being conscious of ourselves as we once were. We still continue to change into something else. Maybe it’s spiritual, maybe it’s not. But we change no matter what our beliefs are. But in the context of being alive and conscious I think the quote is true. Even if every part of you has been chopped down, you still need to work to grow again. You might not be the mighty oak anymore. You might not be the mother of young children who are dependent on you. Maybe they have grown and moved away. Then what? Are you going to just sit down and die?
No, you are going to eventually realize and accept a change has taken place and adapt to it. Keep growing, keep moving forward. It’s not only good for you, but it’s good for those watching you, especially your children!
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily Quote by Benjamin Franklin, 1706-1790, American Printer, Inventor, Scientist, Signer of the American Declaration of Independence.
Change is in the air as we start Change Week at The Napkin Dad Daily!
I am giving a Napkin Dad presentation on change at the end of the week. I will be the keynote speaker at the 4-H Parent Volunteer State Conference in Stillwater, Oklahoma. I am really excited to be asked to speak on the topic since it’s one of my favorites and one I have drawn and written about quite a bit.
Besides collecting past napkins on change for the presentation I thought I would take the opportunity to draw some new ones this week.
The difference of course is that when you are in a rut you have the chance to get out. But you have to know you are in one and you have to want to get out. If you are in a car you expect to go somewhere. Being in a rut is at odds with that and you struggle to get out of it. Of course to do that, you often have to get out of your comfort zone (the car) and get yourself dirty.
But what about when you aren’t in a car. What about when it’s just life you are in. How do you even know you are in a rut? Some indicators are that you feel bored, dissatisfied, antsy, unfulfilled. You might be doing passive aggressive activities that are meant to break up the monotony of your life even though you don’t even know it. You could even be doing some self-destructive things that are really in the place of successfully getting out of a rut.
One thing is certain, to get out of a rut you must change something. It might be as simple as getting out of a car and giving it a push. You might just have to call for help. You might have to get hot, sweaty and dirty.
But maybe the rut isn’t the hole in the ground. Maybe the rut is in you. Then what? It’s no longer about changing the outside environment. It’s no longer about changing jobs or boyfriends or girlfriends or homes or cities or hairstyles or shoes. Now it’s about changing your attitude, your outlook, your understanding.
Attitude, Outlook and Understanding. Those are the real tow trucks out of your rut.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Ellen Glasgow, 1873-1945, Pulitzer Prize winning American Novelist
Napkin Dad geographic trivia for June –
Most pages viewed in one visit – 16.5 – Belgium
Longest time on the site in one visit – 21.03 minutes – Egypt
Northern most visitor – Wasilla, Alaska, USA (maybe Sarah?)
Southern most visitor – Launceston, Tasmania, Australia
I posted this drawing and this self-test of patriotism last year.
What would you add?
Mediocre in this instance means average, NOT sub-par.
Here is my self-test of patriotism. These statements are how I know I am living up to the ideals of our founders.
When I understand that America is not only for people like me.
When I understand that I am free to judge on the content of character, but not the color of skin or the gender of the body or the inclinations of love and attraction or the ability to do what others can do, or one’s upbringing or station in life.
When I understand that each individual has the inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, whether I like their versions of those things or not.
When I understand we have a right to be free and pursue our dreams but NOT at the expense and destruction of our towns, coastlines, rivers, oceans, land, air or people.
When I understand we have an absolute right to protect ourselves from those who wish or do us harm, or whose actions unknowingly cause us harm, from outside or inside our country, from individuals or corporations.
When I understand with gratefulness and humility that many people, now and in the past, have found it necessary to do something they hate doing, namely killing other people, and in turn sometimes getting killed and wounded themselves, to protect these rights and to protect me.
When I understand that hating another country or another people will not now, or ever, create a safe environment for me and mine.
When I understand that civil discourse and transitions among people and governing authorities who disagree is essential and positive, leading to good governance and progress.
When I understand and stand up for true religious freedom, knowing that my religion (or lack of) is not the religion of the country, no matter how large and powerful it is, and no matter how many believe as I do.
When I understand that America is me and what I do with my life.
I am sitting in my studio on a Sunday morning, three years to the day that Melissa came to live with us. Turns out she did stay one week. Then she stayed another. Then a month had passed. I was able to convince the agency that I could be an affective foster parent and soon school started.
There were some adjustments to be made on all sides, but it was less of a struggle than I thought. Maria and Melissa learned about their boundaries from having a few spats. They made up quickly and no damage was done. Daria felt a bit unneeded at first, with Maria no longer barging into her room to tell her something. Daria used to complain about that, but it turns out she missed it. Melissa made a good bond with Daria though and before long Daria found both of them barging in to tell her things. She didn’t pretend to hate that anymore.
Six months later I started adoption proceedings and 6 months after that, it was finalized. My 4 daughters conspired to try to convince me to allow Melissa to change her name to match theirs. They suggested Laria, Staria and Faria. I suggested Blaria, Glaria and Ungaria. They didn’t think my suggestions were very good at all. In the end she stayed Melissa, because we all really liked her just as she was.
In September of that year she got another beautiful envelope in the mail from her brother. It was of a sunrise. In it he told her that he was going to finally be able to move back to Oklahoma. He had been discharged from the army and had found a job in Tulsa, the main city in the area. He was here in time for Christmas.
A nicer guy I had never met; polite, creative, caring and very much in love with his little sister. He also, it turns out, fell in love with someone else. Caria was home for the Christmas holiday and they spent a number of days together. They hit it off wonderfully and started dating. By the time the next summer came they were inseparable.
Now I sit in my studio 3 years later thinking about how the most random of events; the placement of an envelope in the wrong box, the desire of a young girl to learn to paint, the death of a good man at an inconvenient time, all led to the events of the past day.
From where I sit in my studio I can see into the kitchen. There, on the table, are 3 corsages. The flowers are white and red, the colors Caria chose for her wedding.
I can see beyond the kitchen into the yard. There is a bunny in the yard the dogs haven’t seen yet. I see it eating a dandelion. There are birds at the bird feeder fighting for a perch. I smile as I look beyond the yard, watching as puffy clouds make an orange and pink blanket in the sky amidst my favorite thing in all the world, a beautiful sunrise.
The Good Samaritan – The Gospel According to Harry Potter #1
Predicting the Future – The Gospel According to Harry Potter #2
Curiosity – The Gospel According to Harry Potter #3
Life with Dragons – The Gospel According to Harry Potter #4
Dreaming to Live – The Gospel According to Harry Potter #5
