The Value of Marriage

adulthoot

I love this quote because it’s simple and true.  How many of you who have kids feel like it was having them that caused you to turn the true corner into adulthood? I know it was for me.  It takes you from obsession with self to realizing you aren’t the center of the universe.  Of course the irony is you are now in the process of raising a child who will one day think they are the center of the universe!

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Peter De Vries, 1910-1993, American editor and novelist

The Self-Made Man

Self Made Man

You would think I would be all about the self-made man, being the creative, artistic sort. And in those areas I am. But the man or woman who thinks they really created themselves and their wealth all by their lonesome are usually overly ego driven and somewhat delusional.  They can also tend to think that the ‘self-made’ label excuses them from being kind, respectful, well-mannered and appropriate.

I am reading the biography of Steve Jobs right now.  He was brilliant and he was also a jerk.  That’s ok, I have been a jerk myself.  But the problem comes when a casual reviewer of his life thinks his accomplishments as a self-made man means that his jerkness was ok. That it was important to his success.  I don’t believe that to be true.  I believe he could have been a success while still being a kind and thoughtful person.  Millions of people do it every day.

For every Picasso the jerk there is a Matisse the good.  For every Bernie Madoff the criminal there is a Warren Buffett the good.   They made their way in the world; making fortunes, families, empires of business and fantastic art all while being kind, respectful and good.

Don’t make your success an excuse for your idiocy and meanness to blossom.  You might have an obligation (or obsession) towards your business or creativity. But you have a greater obligation, at least in my mind, to working just as hard to be the good and kind person you truly want to be. Work on that just as hard as your business, be obsessed with that in equal measure, and THEN let them write a book about your greatness.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Anonymous

Black Friday Reality Check Day – The Debt of Christmas

It’s Black Friday Reality Check Day

Debt

Here is a simple idea:  Do you want to give you and yours a GREAT Christmas? Don’t go into debt giving gifts. Give what you can afford to pay cash for.  If you can’t buy it with cash or a debit card, don’t buy it.  If that means your family and friends think less of you (do you REALLY TRULY think that is going to happen?) then let them think less of you. Why is it ok for them to think less of you? Because there IS less of you! Less money than you are pretending to have.  You DON’T have it so don’t pretend you do.  You aren’t doing anyone any favors by giving gifts you can’t afford just because you are afraid they won’t be happy.  In the long AND short run you will be happier and your family will see you being a great role model for responsible stewardship of your money and resources.  THAT is a great Christmas gift.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Anonymous

Thanksgiving in the Here and Now

This is a napkin I drew last year but it’s one of my favorites so I give it to you again.

Thanksgiving

Right here and right now I love my family and friends, those I have known forever and those whom I met recently. Thank you for being in my life.

The Gratitude of Escape

gratitude of escape

Some things I escaped, for which I am grateful.

  • Losing an Eye – 1955/1965 – Numerous cuts around my eyes as a kid. My nickname in my family was ‘Stitch’.
  • War/Combat – 1972/73 – Was just young enough to not be drafted during the Vietnam war.
  • Injury – 1972 – Private plane landing.  Tire went flat on landing, but not before we had slowed down considerably.
  • Rape/Death – 1973 – Got in the car of a stranger during a severe rainstorm at LaGuardia Airport. Talked my way out of it successfully.
  • Death – 1973 boat explosion – Severely burned but survived.
  • Injury/Death – 1989 Loma Prieta/World Series Earthquake – Very close to the epicenter in Santa Cruz county.
  • Injury/Death/Arrest – 1993 – driving while intoxicated – Stopped drinking in May of that year.
  • Nasty Divorce – 2000 – First wife Kathy and I had an amicable divorce and remain good friends and supporters.

What have you escaped for which you are grateful?

Drawing and List by Marty Coleman, Publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Anonymous

Diverse Gratitude Have I

diverse gratitude

Are you grateful for one of these?  What image would you add to represent your gratitude this Thanksgiving season?

Drawing and questions by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by me.

Tell Them You Are Proud

pride

As many of you know, I coach a running group. The group is geared to complete a 1/4 marathon (6.55 miles) after a 12 week training season.  But this season we added on something extra. We tacked on 5 extra weeks and took them from running the 1/4 marathon to a 15k to a 1/2 marathon yesterday.

By the time the 1/2 marathon race started they were on their own; no coaches telling them what pace to run, when to stop for water, what to wear, how to stretch, or what to eat. It was all on them, alone, by themselves to conquer fear, trepidation, worry, excitement, unexpected aspects they couldn’t control (internal and external) and to fight their way through it.  And they all did it. I am very proud of them, everyone of them.

I tell them as often as I can that I am proud of them. When I first started saying ‘I am proud of you’ I had feelings that it was premature, as if I shouldn’t be saying it because I don’t know them well enough. After all, isn’t that reserved for a parent to tell a child or a spouse to tell their partner?

But I soon realized that it was my act of saying it, and believing it, that made me care about them enough for it to be true. I thought about what it was I was proud of in them. What had they overcome? What demons or negativity had they conquered?  What achievement, seemingly out of reach, did they realize?  What blossoming had I seen?

Tell me about how you express your pride in others. Do you say it often? What stops you if you don’t.  How do you feel when you get, or do not get, that affirming pride statement from someone?

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by me

A Good Scare

Fear

A man in trouble walks to town to seek advise from the local wise sage.  He tells the wise sage that he is worried about dying, about leaving things undone in life.  The wise sage tells him to do the best he can, to believe in himself, to put a plan together and try to take action.  The man leaves the wise sage thinking that is what he is going to do.  He arrives home and promptly forgets the advice.

That evening he goes out for a walk before bed.  As he walks he is suddenly paralyzed with fear when a snake jumps out and almost bites him.  He recognizes it as one of the most poisonous snakes in his part of the country.  Just as it looks like it is about to strike again, an owl swoops down and grabs it.

The man goes home, sits down at his desk and writes out his plan.  The next morning he has the first 5 items on the list crossed off before dawn.

Drawing and story by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by E. W. Howe, 1853-1937, American novelist and editor

True Confidence vs False Confidence

confidence

I coach a running group here in Tulsa.  Many of these runners are running in their first half marathon this coming weekend.  They raced 6.55 miles 5 weeks ago, 9.3 miles 3 weeks ago and Sunday they race 13.1 miles.

Six months ago most of them had not run a mile, much less 13.  They started training for a 5k with runs that lasted 1 minute followed by 3 minutes of walking.  It wore them out. They had little confidence they could do it but they tried anyway. And they did it.  And they have continued to do it.  That is confidence based on training and experience. It is a well grounded confidence that they have and that I have for them.

They are trained to have multiple goals.  They have their optimal goal; their best case scenario.  They have the goal they can adapt to; the goal that says everything is not optimal and I am going to adapt WITHOUT judging myself.  Then they have the worst case goal; the goal that says nothing at all is going as it is suppose to and I am just going to finish this damn race no matter what.  They don’t lose their confidence, they adapt their confidence.

So, what is the difference between true confidence and false confidence? After all, no one can see the future so how can we be confident about anything, whether true or false, right?  True confidence is based on training and experience and is willing to adapt.  False confidence is based on a wishful desire and is unwilling to adapt.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily.

Quote by Anonymous.

Perseverence vs Obstinacy

perseverence vs obstinacy

It seems to me that one mistake parents make is being as obstinate as their children.  They need to be smarter than their children, more sophisticated and more subtle in how they wage, and win, their battles.  Calm perseverence and intelligent persuasion vs obstinacy will beat obstinacy vs obstinacy any day.

And you have to allow that sometimes you will lose the battle with your child, and that is ok.  They need victories too, you know.  The main thing is, no matter the fight, no matter the technique, never let them go for long believing you are against them. You always want to keep in mind that you are on their side, that you are their champion in life and you want them to know that.  It’s not an easy position to carve out consistently but over the course of a life it can be done.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Henry Ward Beecher, 1813-1887, American abolitionist and Congregational clergy

Writing Lesson #6 – Exaggeration

exaggeration

Writing Lesson #6 zazzle_print
Writing Lesson #6 education posters by The Napkin Dad

When my daughters were young they started a running joke with me.  It was because of my tendency to exaggerate in my story telling or explanations.  For example, I might be explaining something about sports and say, ‘Joe Blow was the GREATEST catcher who ever lived.’  or if I was talking about history I would say, ‘General YadaYada was the MOST brilliant war tactician ever!’  They started expecting my superlatives and would crack up or roll their eyes when they came.  My eldest, Rebekah, was adamant that I see the movie ‘The Big Fish’ when it came out because it was about a father who was a giant story teller, exaggerating the stories to absurd lengths.  Now, of course, I NEVER did that. But she thought it would be fun for me to see the movie anyway.. uh huh.

All that is pretty much in good fun – no harm, no foul.  There is value in clarifying and refining an experience in story telling so it has more power.  But going farther than that, as we have seen in recent years with reporters exaggerating events or authors exaggerating their memoirs, can lead to a real lack of trust and believability on the part of the audience, not to mention a career destruction.

So, crystalize it so it sparkles but don’t forget the story plainly told still needs to be able to grab the reader’s attention.  Move too far away from that in your story line and word crafting and you might lose the essence of what makes your story great in the first place.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by William Safire, 1929-2009, American writer, columnist and speechwriter

My 5th Anniversary Post

spouse

I love this quote. Think about it. In truth many, if not most, of our blessings and our woes stem from who we have our main relationship with.  I know in my life my wife puts up with a lot she wouldn’t have to if she hadn’t married me.  Of course she wouldn’t get my charm and good looks but it still can be a pain for her, even with that fantastic benefit. haha.

So, this is a ode to my wife, Linda. She has been a wonderful companion for the past 8 years, 5 of them since we were married on 11/11/06 at 11am.  I appreciate and love her for all she has done for me and with me and I hope I have given the same blessings back to her.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Anonymous

Friendship Is Like Money

I am still on the road, but headed to the airport soon to make my way back to Tulsa. I was able to do a photoshoot on the beach on Coronado Island with an old friend and her husband yesterday. It got me thinking about friendship.

friendship

When my kids left the house for school every day my recurring farewell was, ‘Make good friends and keep good friends.’ One of my favorite things in the world is having old friends. My second favorite thing is making new ones knowing that if I treat them right and pay attention to them when I can, they will soon become old friends as well. That might take years, it might take a few days, like it did with some of the people I met at the recent BlogWorld conference I attended.

I look forward to many of them becoming old friends.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Samuel Butler, 1835-1902, English author

Where Are You Going?

I am finally back to the napkins! I took some time off to speak at and attend the BlogWorld LA conference for the first time. Then I headed south to San Diego to visit my father and sister. I am there now, finally with some time to draw.

travel

Travel is much like a life education vs. a formal education. It’s important to never confuse the two. With a formal education and a regimented, organized travel experience, let’s say for business, you need to be sure of what it is you hope to accomplish and what you want to learn. It’s good to have it planned.

But in your life education and in all of your travels, business or not, there is another layer that exists, and that is the layer of not knowing why you are going somewhere or learning something. I don’t mean you have no idea at all, I mean you have to allow that you CAN’T know it all in advance. Your deepest experiences and lessons come to you without your prior knowledge that they are about to arrive. It is those things we couldn’t have anticipated that resonate the deepest.

So, don’t freak out if you don’t know every step of the journey ahead, whether in your education or your travel, If you did, you wouldn’t learn much.

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily.

Quote by Yogi Berra, 1925-not dead yet, New York Yankee baseball player and manager

Friends – Blog World LA – Day 4

Whenever you go to a conference there is that dreaded feeling that you won’t know anyone, no one will befriend you and you will spend a lot of time roaming the cavernous halls of some center feeling alone amidst thousands of people. It doesn’t usually end up happening at that level but the anticipation of it is there and the reality of conference life definitely includes stretches of those times.

Luckily, I ended up with some great new friends with whom I was able have great conversations, pal around with from session to session, catch at lunch or a party and get to know. The anticipation of being completely alone was replaced with the anticipation of seeing my friends again shortly, even if I was alone.

new friends

Here are three of my new found friends, Leslie, Shanna, and John. I drew this during the last lunch. They were fun, happy, and friendly. They also happened to be fantastic encouragers for me before I gave my presentation and enthusiastic supporters after. It is very gratifying to have them as new friends. Many others became good friends as well, and I am grateful for all of them!

Blog World Los Angeles is now over. I tweeted to the conference participants to see if anyone was headed down south to San Diego where I will be visiting my sister, her family and my father. Sure enough I got a quick response and am now going to hitch a ride in exchange for gas. So, next stop the beach and a commissioned photo shoot on Tuesday!

Thanks again to all my Napkin Kin!
Marty

Presentation Day – Blog World Day 3

Hi Napkin kin! I have been pretty overwhelmed with the activity and preparation for this week at Blog World LA. Add a technical learning curve for doing it all on an iPad and i haven’t posted the way I was hoping to. But my presentation is over now and the technical stuff is all good so I will be back on top of it now!

Here are a few photos of me at my presentation at BlogWorld LA.

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20111105-181445.jpg

The presentation went great! Even had people want to take their photos with me, a first for sure! I have made some great connections and am very excited about the future of The Napkin Dad Daily.

Thanks to all my subscribers and friends who love the blog and support me! I will tell you all more tomorrow, ok?

Marty

Blog World LA – Day 1

For me the best type of travel is about the new. But my first travel experience this week of Blog World LA, where I am speaking Friday, was about the old.

I spent my years 6-12 in Los Angeles. We lived on the beach in Playa del Rey, not far from Santa Monica and Venice. Coming back there was one iconic LA landmark I knew would make me happy to see it.

As odd as it seems now, when I was 10 years old my adventurous friend Don and I rode our bikes to LAX to check out the new moving sidewalks we had heard they had there. I mean, come on, how cool is that, a moving sidewalk?

We actually didn’t live that far away, but it was quite the adventure for us 10 years olds. I rode my very hip Stingray bike with the banana seat and the chopper handlebars.

So, what was this iconic landmark? It was, and is, the LAX’s Theme Building in the middle of the airport. I loved that building as a kid and it was even cooler when we were able to ride our bikes right up to it and lock them to one of the walls.

20111105-150018.jpg

That building was one of the earliest buildings I remember and really helped my fascination and love of architecture ever sense.

California, Here I Come!

I am taking off for Los Angeles to speak for the first time at Blog World, a humongous conference on…blogging.  I am speaking at 4pm on Friday. My topic title is: The Napkin Dad Explains: Six Stop Signs on Creativity Road.  Wish me luck!

California

I was raised in California. First on the beach in Del Mar, near San Diego, then up in Los Angeles.  I love LA.  The conference will be downtown and we lived at the beach but we used to drive in a number of times a week so my sister and I could swim with our swim team at the LA Athletic Club.  Bad pollution made breathing hard but besides that I loved it.

I remember the daughter of a movie star was in our swim team, she had red hair I think and I had a crush on her.  The Rolling Stones had a song out back then called ‘Pretty Ballerina’ maybe? Anyway, they had some song that was the song I attached to her. I still think of her whenever I hear that song.

I now live in Oklahoma, thus I can make fun of both states in my drawing today. I love Oklahoma. I haven’t met a daughter of a movie star here, that I know of. But I love it nonetheless.

If you are going to Blog World, make sure to find me and say hi. And of course, COME TO MY PRESENTATION!

Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Will Rogers, 1879-1935, American humorist and movie star from OKLAHOMA.