Travel Napkin – Alamo Bowl Edition
I am in San Antonio for the Alamo Bowl tonight between the Baylor Bears and University of Washington Huskies. Sic em’ Bears!
San Antonio is an AWESOME city, by the way.
New Year, Old Habits
I am on the road, in Texas.
Drawing by Marty Coleman, a man in the middle of something.
The Christmas Next Year
We had a different Christmas this year for a few reasons. None of my three biological daughters were here, I have been crazy busy getting pieces finished and ready for my upcoming ‘Velveteen Women’ exhibition (opening January 6th at Living Arts of Tulsa) and just a sort of general fatigue about the ‘work’ of decorating for Christmas. We did decorate, but not as much as usual. We watched a Christmas movie and TV show or two, but not the usual dozen or so. Caitlin, my step-daughter, had mixed feelings about this. She didn’t get into it quite as much, she felt bad, ok, resigned, relieved all at various times. Linda, my wife, felt the same way. But Christmas morning was wonderful, Christmas brunch with the family was especially fun, as was Christmas Eve. In the end it was different, but it was good.
Here is what I felt. Christmas does not occur exactly the same each year even if it seems to. It has mutations to the sameness that sometimes makes it brighter, sometimes a bit more melancholy, sometimes devastatingly different, sometimes virtually the same. But it is never really the same, is it? Christmas rhymes with Christmases past, it doesn’t repeat them.
How do you feel about Christmas (or any holiday) changing in your life from year to year? How do the changes in you make those changes happen?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, owner of a really small car.
Quote by Mark Twain, who is now dead.
Christmas Blessing
Hello to all my Napkin Kin! Here is my final Christmas Card of 2011 (well, it’s really a napkin but it plays a card on the internet)
The final words at the end of each All Souls Unitarian Church service in Tulsa is this, “Go then – be blessed and be a blessing.” I always love hearing that because it puts in 8 words what life is all about. We aren’t told to deny ourselves – it’s ok to allow yourself to be blessed, whether by God, universe or human, via a Christmas present or a cosmic blessing. But we are also told that it is not a one way street. We are to be a blessing as well. We don’t have to change the world, we just need to give the gift we can give. It might be our presence, it might be a new car or it might be a drum solo like the little drummer boy gave. Whatever it is, you are capable of blessing someone.
I hope both for you this Christmas and holiday season.
Blessings,
Marty Coleman, The Napkin Dad
Christmas Heart
Here is a Christmas napkin from 2010 that I like enough to post again this year. Pretty simple – Act Christmas and it will be Christmas.
I will be mixing in some older napkins (with some new ones as well) over the next 2 weeks. This is because I am busy getting ready for an exhibition of my photo-collages at Living Arts of Tulsa. It opens January 6th at 6pm. The show is titled ‘Velveteen Women’and if you can make the opening I would love to see you there!
My 2011 Christmas Card to You
This is my 2011 Christmas card to you, my Napkin Kin.
And the most important thing; he liked them. He didn’t hang out with all those odd people trying to convert them, feeling sorry for them, or feeling an obligation to ‘minister’ to them. If he had, they wouldn’t have trusted him. Even back then a person can tell when someone has an agenda for the relationship. What I believe is that he liked who they were. He didn’t spend his time figuring out how to appear to care for them. He just cared for them.
And guess what? He let them care for him too. I mean, after all, is there a greater outcast in history than Jesus? They liked him even with all his wild ideas and uber-serious talk about God and heaven. They stuck by their friend even when he acted really strange and seemed self-destructive (which he was when you think about it). They forgave what they probably thought of as his arrogance (Really, you’re saying you are the Son of God? Really?).
My Christmas wish is that, if you are an outcast, you will be given the gift of feeling both loved and liked exactly as you are. If you are not, then my Christmas wish is that you will tear down the fearful wall of judgment and bring the outcast in.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, An outcast lover since 1973.
Walking on Water -Christmas Week #1
It’s day #1 of Christmas week at The Napkin Dad Daily!
When I first saw this quote I thought it said, “…if you CAN’T follow in his footsteps.” That fit in well with my feelings about Jesus as a man who taught vs Jesus as a mythic figure who was a God Man who did superhuman miracles. I like Jesus the man, I can follow in some of his footsteps no and then. I don’t have much in common with Jesus the God Man, I can’t follow in his footsteps.
But, the quote actually says, “…if you DON’T follow in his footsteps.” That implies it’s something you could do if you only chose to do it. And to wonder about that question in the first place you have to take Jesus walking on water literally. You have to believe he really did it and, in addition, that he wants you to do it too. That brings the idea to a whole new area of exploration.
So, here are my questions. Do you think that Jesus really did walk on water or no? If he did, then did he really want us to attempt that same thing? And if so, for what purpose? If he didn’t really walk on water, then what does the mythical story represent? What are we suppose to learn and enact from that story?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, being a bad example of a good man since 1976.
Quote by Anonymous. Actually, since it is anonymous I could have changed it to “can’t” and know one would have been the wiser! hmmm…
The Ideal and the Ordeal
I had a friend in college who was a great keyboard player. His specialty was church organ music. He even had a real organ in his little apartment. He LOVED to play the organ and wanted to be a professional organist for a church. It was his ideal.
But his father wanted him to be a banker. So, he worked in a bank as a teller. That was his father’s path for him and he didn’t have the guts, at that point anyway, to confront his father, OR himself, and take the path he really wanted to take.
He wasn’t living his ideal, he was living an ordeal.
Tell us the story of your ideal and your ordeal. If you have achieved or are on the path to your ideal, tell us how you made that change. If you haven’t made it but want to, tell us what you think might be stopping you. Your stories will help others so don’t be shy to tell them.
Drawing, commentary AND quote by Marty Coleman, a man who lets his fingernails grow too long.
I Love A Wonder Mind
I believe being open minded is a good thing. I use to believe there was a reason behind being open minded. It was so you could find the truth. Once you found the truth, whether in science, religion, relationships, etc. then you didn’t need to have that part of your mind open any longer. You could close that door while continuing to be open minded in other areas. And I still believe there is some truth to that at times. I just no longer believe it is THE reason. It’s just one of many reasons.
Another great reason to be open minded is so you can experience joy and wonder. No other reason is necessary in that case. You don’t have to have a plan or a purpose or an agenda to exploit the joy and wonder into the future. You can just experience it.
What reasons do you have for being open minded? What have been the results for you, both good and bad?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, the most talented left-handed man he knows.
Quote by Gerry Spence, 1929-not dead yet, American attorney and writer
Getting Even
This is simple enough. Trying to ‘get even’ with anyone because they have wronged you may not be a wrong in and of itself, but it certainly makes you walk down a vengeful path. Do you want to be thinking about vengeance? Do you want to be spending your days plotting how to hurt someone? Is that REALLY what you want to spend your one and only life doing and thinking? I didn’t think so.
Last night I went to a Tulsa Blogger meeting. One of my fellow bloggers, Kelly Kincaid of Kellyology, started talking about her new found passion for running. She just finished a 1/2 marathon recently after only starting to run in March of this year. She was asking my advice on some things since I have a bit more experience than she does. At the same table was Nicci Atchley of Nicci6. She has also started running recently. She has a running buddy who is a life long runner. She is learning a lot from him as they run together. Nicci and Kelly are both focused on running positive paths in life and are tapping into others who are farther along those paths for help. That is a great way to ‘get even’ if you ask me.
So instead of revenge as your ‘get even’ motivation, maybe think about who is above you and try to get even with them. I don’t mean in value or worth, you are of equal value with anyone else already. I mean in terms of seeing someone as a role model, or wanting to achieve something you have seen a friend achieve. They are farther along a path you would like to take so ask them for help and make your way towards them. Make that your ‘get even’ strategy and you will be happier and do great things!
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, Publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily blog
Quote by R. J. Rehwinkels
Faith, Hope and Love = Patience
What do you think of this idea?
Most quotes I see online via Twitter or Facebook aren’t particularly revelatory to me. I have either heard them before or they don’t tell me anything I don’t already know and understand. But once in a while a saying comes along that combines disparate ideas in a new way for me.
A friend of mine, Tina H, a model for a local group I help lead called PHOTOG, is growing quite a bit these days. This quote caught her attention and she posted it on her Facebook site. It combines one very good virtue with 3 very familiar ideas, especially for those who are familiar with what is probably the most famous Christian scripture on love, 1 Corinthians 13. At the end of the ‘love chapter’ the Apostle Paul says this, “And now these three things remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
I had never really understood it this way but in this quote we have a clue about what character trait is needed to allow these three to flourish.
Do you want to have more of those three things in your heart? Then simply do your best to practice patience in those three directions; others, self and God (or universe/unknown if you don’t happen to believe in God). I intend to focus on that from now on.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Adel Bestavros, 1924-2005, Egyptian born lay leader of the Coptic Church
Bricks Baked in Hell
How ironic it is that those who have the most love for their fellow humans are usually those who have gone through the most hell on earth. Why is that? Maybe it’s because it is impossible to deeply understand human frailty and suffering and have the resulting empathy and compassion without having gone through some of that suffering yourself.
But wait a second, wouldn’t most people say that rampaging mass murderers, rapists and violent felons of all sorts also have gone through hell on earth in some way ? Why did they turn out to be so hateful and violent when the person right next door, suffering a similar journey through hell, turned out loving and kind ?
I have no ultimate answer to that. But I do believe we have a choice to make each time we journey through our own personal hell, in all it’s manifestations from a minor heartbreak to an ultimate fatal catastrophe. With each trip through hell we pick up one of those bricks being baked there. We bring it back and have a decision to make. Do we throw it at those around us, or do we use it to build something to help those around us?
What are you doing with the feelings, emotions, revelations and ideas you have gathered from your journeys through hell?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, owner of Napkin Dad Publishing.
Quote by me, a variation on one by Louis Scutenaire, 1905-1987, Belgian Surrealist writer and painter
Beauty vs. Charm
I used to work at a great restaurant in San Jose, California called Eulipia. One night after work a number of us, 3 women and 3 men, were hanging out at the bar just shooting the breeze. The women got into a discussion of what sort of men they were attracted to. One had specific requirements. Another had an ‘ideal man’. The third had a long list of traits she was not attracted to. Us men sat silently listening to them explain these mysteries to us. It took quite a while.
After they were done one of the women turned to us men and asked, “So, what sort of women are you attracted to?” And without missing a beat, all three of us, in harmony said, “Whoever pays attention to us.”
And that is the secret of how to attract men, seriously. Yes, looks matter. Yes, we can like certain ‘types’. But within the very wide range of attraction most men actually have, there is one thing that stands out, the clincher. And that is charm. The woman with charm, the woman who pays attention to a man, is the one with the advantage, not the one who is most beautiful or has the best figure.
And here is another truth for you men who might be reading this. It works the other way too. Are you worried you aren’t the most handsome, buffed or tall guy? Worry less about that and more about if you are actually, sincerely showing interest and care about the woman in front of you. THAT is what matters most, even for the 3 women at the bar that night.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, Publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily.Quote is by me. It’s a variation on a much longer quote by Adlai Stevenson of all people.
The Pilgrim of Curiosity
I am a Pilgrim of Curiosity. Not to say I am not devoted. but if I were going to go on a pilgrimage, it would be to find, learn, feel or understand something, not to prove my devotion to something. What about you, are you a pilgrim of devotion or a pilgrim of curiosity or a pilgrim of something else all together?
By the way, it might be the perfect time to check out some Napkin Dad merchandise at Zazzle, just in time for Christmas!
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, publisher of the Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Abraham Cowley, 1618-1667, english poet.
Rockin’ the Worry
Is there such a thing as ‘good’ worry? If there is, could it be called by another name? Could it be called ‘concern’? Perhaps it could be called ‘problem solving’? Whatever you call it, good worry goes somewhere. It isn’t a rocking chair, moving but staying in the same place. It’s more like a vehicle that takes you to a solution or resolution. But if neither of those things happen, then it brings you to a place of peace with what is.
That, to me, is the only kind of worry worth worrying about.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, Publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Anonymous
Arm and Hand – A Short Short Story
The Story of Arm and Hand
Arm and Hand are at war with each other. Arm is lazy but Hand is not. But Arm find ways to stop the communication between Hand and her owner, Head. Head ends up thinking Hand is lazy too but it’s really just Arm’s message getting through, not Hand’s. Head feels like she can’t do anything since she can’t get Hand to do anything. Head needs help but Hand isn’t helping.
But one day Arm falls asleep and Hand gets a message through to Head saying, “I want to WORK, tell me what to do!” Head says, “OK! I want you to heal Mr. Sink.” And Hand goes and fixes Mr. Sink. Head then says, ” I want you to give Foot a massage” and hand does it.
Arm has woken up by this point but it is too late. Head and Hand have fixed the communications path and Arm must now obey whatever they decide to do. Arm is not happy about this but there is nothing she can do.
Head becomes very happy because she is able, for the first time, to see life through Hand. She likes the world she sees and lives happily ever after.
The End
Drawing and story by Marty Coleman, Publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily and Owner of MAKE Design and Photography Studio
Quote by Anonymous
How To Get Children To Not Listen To You
One of the most important things for a parent to realize is they are smarter than their kids. Well ok, I know some dumb parents with smarter kids, but what I really mean is that you as a parent must be shrewder, subtler, wiser than their kid. Why? So you can teach and lead them without the kid consciously knowing it.
Kids hate being lectured to, right? So don’t lecture, be smarter than a lecture. Put a napkin in their lunch with an intriguing idea written on it, for example. Put interesting, thought-provoking art up on the walls. Read books that help you understand something and make sure the book is out for them to see. Go to a play instead of a movie one night and tell them (briefly) about it’s content. Clip a headline out of the newspaper and put it on the fridge. Not the whole article, just the headline. Comment below with your own examples of how you lead and influence your children, ok?
If you want them to go in a certain direction the only way it will happen in the long term is if there is interest and curiosity on their part. Stimulate that curiosity for them to find out things on their own and guess what? They will learn what you want them to learn.
AND if you do it right, in the end they will teach you more than you taught them!
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, Publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily blog
Commentary by Anonymous
Marketing Lesson #1
I was invited to be the guest at a twitter chat last night put on by Blog World, where I spoke last month. I answered questions about creativity, prompting a discussion about it among the participants.
One of the questions was:
“What advice would you give to folks looking to use social media to showcase their art? ”
In the process of answering I said the quote above. It is something that creative people sometimes balk at, they don’t want to be so deliberate or marketing oriented, as if it dilutes or diminishes their work.
But the truth is having a hook is not diluting or diminishing. It is refining and clarifying. It is allowing for a focal point, that is all. What focal point do you have, or could you have, for your creative work? How would it change your work? How would it help you move forward in your creative endeavors?
If you would like to be part of future chats simply get on twitter and use the hashtag #bwechat to see when the next one will be. You can find me on twitter as @thenapkindad
Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
The Napkin Dad