Can One Be Busy Doing Nothing?

doing nothing

I, Sloth

I do this too much. One of my biggest struggles is distracting myself from the task at hand with busy work, or pseudo work.  In March I had a breakthrough in what I focused on and pay attention to and where my mind and heart are at as I go about my daily workday.  And I have kept with that breakthrough so far. But I have found I still get busy wasting time and I believe it hinders a number of efforts I am making in my life and career.  So, I am making progress, but wish I was making it faster.

Stephen Covey, in his book ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ has what he calls the ‘Time Management Matrix’. Here it is. It’s helped me in the past. I still have a card with it on it, that sits on my workdesk.

If you haven’t ever read Covey’s book, I highly recommend it.  You can find it at any bookstore, library and probably most of your friends’ houses. Ask, I bet they will let you borrow it. Quadrant II is where I need to spend more time.  I am relatively good at the relationship building and learning/developing but I tend to get excited about new things and forget about the things already in the pipeline. I also tend to procrastinate when it comes to planning.

What I am committing myself to is be more diligent and focused on that quadrant. What quadrant causes you issues and what are you doing about it?

In the meanwhile, you should go to Sid Savara’s blog posting that discusses this same thing. It’s funny with cartoon illustrations but still gets the seriousness of the ideas across.

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Cole…oh look, a sloth!

 

sloth

 

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Art vs Fashion

I think this statement is true.  I think this statement is not true.

fashion

 

Groovy, Man

My mother had a favorite artist when we lived in Connecticut.  He did sort of psychedelic groovy paintings of rock stars and others.  I think we had at least 3 of his paintings, maybe more.  At the time (I was a teenager) I thought they were trendy and faddish. They seemed too attached to fashion, to the look of the times in clothing, magazines, etc. Almost like an illustration rather than fine art.  I still have a one of the pieces, it’s stored away. I think someday it might be looked at fondly, as a reminder of a particular time, like looking at an old fashion magazine, but I don’t see if ever appearing timeless or beautiful.  To me, it screams it’s birth date and death date all in one visual breath.

Art outside of Time

During that same time, we also bought a painting by my mother’s best friend.  She had been an artist her whole life, was a crucial mentor to me in my early years as a learning artist.  This painting was in the style reminiscent of the Abstract Expressionists of the 1950s. It had the energy and colors of that era.  One perhaps could look at it and feel it is also trendy and faddish. But I don’t see that. I see a style, yes. But the beauty of the image transcends the limitations of it’s stylistic roots. It is not a prisoner to it’s era. 

Funkadelic, baby!

In fashion there is a similar phenomenon.  You can look at some outfits from the 70s and just know they will never escape their time.  People might like them more this year than next, but that style will always be seen as attached to that moment in time, it will not transcend.  It doesn’t mean it isn’t cool or fun. It just means it is a trendy statement, not a classic statement.

Little Black Dress

But while some of the outfits scream their date, some have become synonymous with style outside the confines of a particular time.  You might know when they arrived on the scene but they are not shackled to that era. 

I Love Fashion

I love looking at fashion, I love looking at art.  I like fashion that screams it’s era, it is fun and exciting to watch as part of the passing parade of life.  I also love fashion that is timeless.  In art, I like transcendance, not trendiness. I like art that can tell me around when it was born but can also tell me it will never die.

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who had tight polyester pants and is damn proud of it!

Quote by Jean Cocteau, French writer and artist, 1889-1963

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A Model Confession

 

Today we have a model image.

 

models

What does a model look like?

Did you know that most models don’t look like models?  Yes, they have certain base features that most models have; a certain figure proportion, a certain bone structure. But models don’t look like models.  They look like young women, and in most cases, average looking young women.  Models start looking like models when they prepare for a shoot.  The makeup artist, the hair stylist, the art director, the photographer, the photographer’s assistant, the editorial assistant, the advertising agency rep, the advertiser’s rep all play a part in creating the image you see in a magazine.  The model is in the mix, contributing, but it is not her you end up seeing.  It’s a photograph, an image, that you see.

Crush

I should know this since I am a photographer but I always forget and have to be reminded. That is because I have also been a fan and follower of a number of models and photographers for decades. I get seduced into the beautiful image just like anyone else.

In college I had my first major model crush.  It was the model, Lisa Taylor.  She was a well known model in the 70s and 80s. She was a favorite model for the fashion photographer Helmut Newton, whose work I loved.  She also happened to be in one of the all time iconic images from the 70s.

Lisa Taylor wearing Calvin Klein by Helmut Newton

Confession

I had a copy of this Harper’s Bazaar magazine with Ms. Taylor on the cover hidden under my mattress in college.

June, 1977

I had it hidden not because it was pornographic obviously but because it would have been even MORE embarrassing for my roommates to find it than if I had had a Playboy or other men’s magazine. This was because I had a major crush on a girl at school who I thought looked just like Taylor.  I thought they would know right away if they saw the magazine cover.  One day us guys, hard to believe I know, were actually cleaning our rooms and we all decided to flip our mattresses over as we had been taught growing up.  Well, you can guess what happened. They saw the magazine and had a really really big laugh at my expense. I turned bright red from embarrassment as you can imagine.  Just as I thought, they immediately saw the resemblance between the model on the cover and the girl I had a crush on. They didn’t threaten to expose me because they said everyone already knew I had a crush on her. Oops. So much for that secret.

Reality

The truth is the real woman I had a crush on wasn’t perfect like the photograph of Lisa. She didn’t think she was beautiful (and still doesn’t). She had issues with her father, she easily felt guilty about many things.  But she was also energetic, enthusiastic, funny and principled.  And it turns out she had a bit of a crush on me.  We always stayed platonic (well ok, we had one brief kiss) but we had a very emotional time of it during that year.  She ended up marrying a great guy (who she was dating during our crush).  We are still connected and good friends.  She is still herself, positive and negative.  But she is wiser, happier and more real inside and out than she ever was way back when.

Taylor Now

In 2009 Timothy Greenfield-Sanders did a project for Vogue Magazine.  He took photographs of former models from the 70s and 80s.  This photograph of Taylor was included in the project and the resulting exhibition in 2011.

Lisa Taylor – © Timothy Greenfield-Sanders

Truth

I love taking photographs and I love visual images, but seeing this photo and thinking about my ‘crush’ reminds me once again that whether it is age, style, Photoshop or something else, the image is not the model. The model is a living, breathing person, better and more real than any image.

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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman, who is beet red right now.

Quote by Cheri Erdman

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The models we see in magazines wish they looked like their own images

 

 

Danger is Dangerous

It’s a dangerous day at the NDD.

danger 1

The 10 Rules to Avoid Danger
  1. Don’t live anywhere dangerous.
  2. Don’t make friends with anyone dangerous.
  3. Don’t date anyone dangerous.
  4. Don’t eat anything dangerous.
  5. Don’t drink anything dangerous.
  6. Don’t play with anything dangerous.
  7. Don’t say anything dangerous.
  8. Don’t go anywhere dangerous.
  9. Don’t think anything dangerous.
  10. Don’t do anything dangerous.

If you follow these 10 rules you will never be in danger and you will never die.

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Drawing and rules by Marty Coleman, who is in no way dangerous.

Quote by Publilius Syrus, who was a performer and thus dangerous.

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Trivia of the Day

What is Damocle’s sword and why is it dangerous?

Damocles was a member of Dionysius’ court in ancient Syracuse. He was envious of Dionysius’ power and wealth, not being able to see the negatives attached to it.  To cure Damocles of this misperception he invited him to a sumptuous feast.  All was well with the feast until Damocles realized that a sharp and heavy sword was hanging directly over his head, attached to the ceiling by a single thin thread.  Damocles lost his appetite and told Dionysius that the threat of the sword falling ruined the glory of the feast for him.  Dionysius replied, ‘Under such a threat do I enjoy my wealth and power.’   Damocles never again envied the king.

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What Do Feelings Sound Like?

music

 

What are your feelings looking at her? What is she singing about? 

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Drawing by Marty Coleman

Quote is anonymous 

A MEMORY OF NEIL ARMSTRONG

 

I am brought back to summer vacation at Ditch Plains Campground in the town of Montauk at the very far eastern end of Long Island in New York. It’s July, 1969 and we are watching a very, very small portable TV, about 5-6 square inches big. It has been stormy and windy and the picture is grainy and blurry. We have a crowd of other campers gathered in our VW Campmobile and attached tent watching along with us.

That night, on a grainy small TV, in an isolated spot during a storm, we witnessed what all the world witnessed, a human landing, then walking, on the moon.

In 1972, a few years after the moonwalk, my father, who was the publisher of Business and Commercial Aviation Magazine at the time, and I were at an Aviation Expo at Dulles Airport outside Washington D.C. He was working, I was tagging along helping to distribute the daily newspaper he was putting out during the expo.

We were walking in a private back area when my father noticed a man coming towards us. My father called him by name and the two shook hands. He introduced me to the man who, at least for me, needed no introduction. Neil Armstrong was gracious and soft spoken in greeting me and giving me his autograph, which I still have.

Throughout the years we had watched every launch, knew every astronaut’s name and knew what and why they were taking that particular voyage. We had met a few of the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo astronauts over the years as well.

But meeting Mr. Armstrong was above the others. It was a moving moment for me because he represented something true. He represented something that can’t ever be taken away and can’t ever be seen as anything but what it was. This was going outside ourselves. This was our first imprint on the stars. I was amazed then and am amazed now at what mankind accomplished that night.

I got to meet the man who took that first step. That was, and is, a great honor. I have nothing but admiration and respect for Mr. Armstrong and I thank him for his work and courage on our behalf. My condolences go to his family and friends on his passing.

Nothing gives me greater hope in our future that this: if we can, and did, do that, we can, and will, do anything we set our minds on.

Marty

What Do You Do With a Disappointment?

 

I have been disappointed recently and it’s an odd feeling, not one I am all that familiar with.  But it is here and I am evaluating it even as I feel it.

 

disappointment

 

What causes you to be disappointed? Does it happen often? Where does the disappointment go? What do you do with it?

Drawing and questions by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily

Quote by Martin Luther King, Jr.  

Who Do You Talk About?

gossip

Gossip

 A girl named Jennifer, jealous,

A woman named Demi, distraught.

A man named Mel, hellish,

A woman named Carly, caught.

What did you learn from hearing those things?  Did you grow, learn, progress, become kinder, smarter, healthier, more loving, stronger, wiser, happier, more compassionate?

I didn’t think so.

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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who wonders what people say about him.

Quote by Anonymous

Rape is Rape

Is it any wonder I chose to draw on this topic today?
rape

The Danger of Dumb

We now know Rep. Akin of Missouri is ignorant of science and biology. We also now know he is on the science committee in the US Congress.  We know he is unqualified to be on that committee since he currently believes (because some unnamed doctor told him) that women who are legitimately raped, oh sorry, let’s use the word ‘forcibly’, it’s so much better, have a magic secret army of anti-spermbots who keep her from getting pregnant.  He also uses this untrue statement to back up his political agenda of banning all abortions in all circumstances, including rape and incest. In my opinion, there is no doubt he should resign from Congress because of this exposure of his warped and dangerous thinking, and if he does not, he should be voted out by his constituents in Missouri.  I am also hopeful they would not vote for him to represent them in the US Senate, a seat for which he is currently campaigning.

Intent vs Effect

Now, I do not know this man personally. Yesterday, I heard from a personal friend of his for over 15 years who said he is a wonderful man and would never say or do anything intentionally to harm women.  And yet, he is intentionally pursuing laws that would make it illegal for the raped woman I have depicted above to have an abortion.  He is saying that the life of the zygote/embryo/fetus (depending on how far along the pregnancy is) and it’s possible feeling of pain and suffering is more important than the emotional, psychological, and physical pain and suffering the raped woman is feeling now and will most likely feel for many years to come.  In this case it is a woman beaten and raped then made to testify at a trial at which she is herself accused of leading the man on, of having had multiple sex partners, of having worn something provocative, of having had something to drink, of having flirted, of, in essence, being responsible for her own rape.  The defense attorney is trying to persuade a jury it was her fault.  This is the woman we are talking about in many cases.

He wants to take away her decision about what to do about her pregnancy away from her and give it to the state. The same state he says should stay out of our personal lives.  To me that is intentionally and willfully deciding to use his power as an agent for the state to increase the pain and suffering of this woman by denying her  the right to choose what she will do with her body, her pregnancy and the zygote/embryo/fetus inside her womb.

What Would I Do

As the father of 4 grown daughters I would very likely advise one of them who got pregnant to carry it to term. I would not want one of them to have an abortion in most cases. But the final decision is not up to me. It is not up to Rep. Akins and it is not up to the state. It would be up to my daughter. No matter the circumstances, she is the only one, if we truly believe in liberty and freedom, who has the right to make the choice about what happens to her own body. 

I know there are many who disagree with me politically on this. I am fine with that disagreement and consider those who do disagree intelligently to be worthy adversaries in the world of ideas and practices.  But Rep. Akin and those who feel and think as he does are not just those of a different opinion. They are dangerous in their ignorant, anti-scientific and mean-spirited assault on women and should be stopped.

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, an American. 

Quote by Freda Adler 

 

What is Fat? #1

 

What Words?

 

What word or words do you think can and should be used to describe people physically?


fat #1

Fat is What?

For a while now it’s been bugging me to hear when someone says ‘She’s fat.’ or ‘Wow, that guy is really fat.’  It’s been bugging me because, even though it’s common usage to say it, fat is actually a substance, not a person.  I understand that when someone says that they aren’t really saying the whole person is made up of the substance called fat. They are saying the person has a lot of fat on him or her.  They are saying the person is overweight.  But my issue comes from how that verbalization leads to a one dimensional judgment of the person.  If you say ‘that person is overweight’ then yes, by inference you are saying they have extra fat on them. But you are not saying they ARE fat.  

Using that definition has long been in the mainstream, so much so that an overweight person will very likely call themselves fat.  They know they aren’t all fat, but they still say it. And what does that mindset do? It focuses and defines the person as being one thing, and a thing is supposedly not good.  

But the truth is fat is good. We can’t live without it. We need to eat it, it protects us, nourishes us, gives us many essential elements to our survival.  What is at issue is a body out of balance, with too much fat and not enough of other substances, like muscle, bone, blood, etc.  It needs to be in some balance so the person, who is a combination of all of those substances, can be healthy and productive in life.  A person with too much fat on them is in danger of being out of balance. Then again so is a person with not enough fat on them.

So for me, I continue to make an effort to not use that word when describing someone.  Overweight, fine.  heavy, fine. But Fat? Fat is a substance, not a person.

What do you think?

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Drawing and quote by Marty Coleman

 

A Night of Mermaids

A Night of Mermaids

The Mistimed Lecture

I went to a lecture at the Philbrook Museum of Art in Tulsa last night. I thought it started at 6 but that was the cocktail hour. The lecture actually started at 7.  So, I stood at a tall table and drank myself silly with a Sprite and watched the world go by (after I checked out the special exhibition for the second time).  A woman came to the lecture hall door, peaked in and turned around toward me asking, ‘Does the lecture start at 6:30?’.  I told her when it started and we subsequently engaged in a cool conversation about her name (same as my eldest daughter, Rebekah), architecture (the topic of the lecture), Russia (where she lived for many years), legal careers (hers), art careers (mine), Photography (both of ours) and mermaids.

I asked if I could draw her on the cocktail napkin I had at the ready and she willingly obliged. Not only that but she looked off in the distance and never moved or blinked for the entire time. She knew how to strike a pose.  I decided she was probably a mermaid in another life and so drew her as one.

Nicci’s Mermaid Poem

After the lecture I dropped by a friend’s new home to pick up some coffee table art books (Monet, Europe and Post-Impressionism) she was giving away and to see her new digs.  

It’s a totally awesome sleek modern home that fits her perfectly. I follow her blog, her Facebook page and read her writings in the local media on occasion. She is not only stylish and hip, but is a very serious seeker of knowledge and truth. She works hard to communicate that intellectual and spiritual journey she is on and I appreciate that.  We talked about a number of things but eventually got to the most important topic of the day, Mermaids. She just happened to have written a poem about her life as a mermaid and graciously sent it to me later that night. Here it is.

My Life as a Mermaid
i fell into the ocean
but found solace in the sea
so i swam amidst the coral
taking shelter in the reef.
and then i rode an ancient turtle
and challenged a great white
and short circuited an electric eel
one harsh and choppy night.
and then i sang to east bound sailors
from atop a sun drenched cliff
and with a watchful eye 
i surfed the tide
and then stormed a pirate ship.
i lassoed a violent current
and then skipped along the shelf
and fought high and low
so that i might know
the Golden Age of Sail…
Nicci Atchley
nicci

Nicci

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And there you have it, my visual ode to mermaids near and far through the past week ending with me drawing and hearing from real people who just might be mermaids.

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is not a Merman.

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Here are the other mermaids

  1. The Virgin Mermaid
  2. The Night of Mermaids 
  3. The Modest Mermaid
  4. The Arctic Mermaid
  5. The Lake Mermaid
  6. The River Mermaid
  7. The Fearful Mermaid
  8. The Influencer Mermaid

The Modest Mermaid

It’s a well known fact that mermaids are NOT modest. However, there is one area of the seven seas where they are modest and I just happen to find a mermaid in that area this morning. Do you know where the modest mermaids live?

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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who has never been modest except for the time in high school when I got out of the shower at my house to find my friends had come over and Rusty tried to tear my towel off right in front of Mary, my new girlfriend.

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Here are the other mermaids

  1. The Virgin Mermaid
  2. The Night of Mermaids 
  3. The Modest Mermaid
  4. The Arctic Mermaid
  5. The Lake Mermaid
  6. The River Mermaid
  7. The Fearful Mermaid
  8. The Influencer Mermaid

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The Arctic Mermaid

The Arctic Mermaid

Today is day 3 of Mermaid week, in which I illustrate Mermaids from all over the watery world, including rivers, lakes and today…The Arctic!

Her Secrets of the Deep

The arctic mermaid is very wary of strangers poking their head in her space.  They want to know her secrets and she doesn’t want to let them be known (especially the fact that the ‘rocks’ on her part of the ocean floor are actually chocolate).

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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who wonder if mermaids go on land to clean themselves.

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Here are the other mermaids

  1. The Virgin Mermaid
  2. The Night of Mermaids 
  3. The Modest Mermaid
  4. The Arctic Mermaid
  5. The Lake Mermaid
  6. The River Mermaid
  7. The Fearful Mermaid
  8. The Influencer Mermaid

 

The Lake Mermaid

The Lake Mermaid

I liked drawing the River Mermaid so much yesterday I thought I would make a series about mermaids all over the world.  

Splash

One of my all time favorite movies is ‘Splash’ with Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah. I swam a lot in the ocean as a kid, body surfing mostly, and would have liked nothing more than to have come upon Madison, (the character Hannah plays) while frolicking in the sea.  I loved her naivete and innocence, her unadulterated joy and love.  I think more people should be like mermaids (and mermen)

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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who thinks mermaids’ hands are webbed.

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Here are the other mermaids

  1. The Virgin Mermaid
  2. The Night of Mermaids 
  3. The Modest Mermaid
  4. The Arctic Mermaid
  5. The Lake Mermaid
  6. The River Mermaid
  7. The Fearful Mermaid
  8. The Influencer Mermaid

 

The River Mermaid

I drew a mermaid today.  Wondering why? Read below.  This drawing doesn’t exactly follow the conversation, but it started me thinking in the mermaid direction. Now I might do a whole series!  

In the meanwhile, my wife says Mermaids don’t have vaginas.  But I think mermaids have the right to reproduce just like any other fish/person so I gave her one.  What do you think, Do mermaids have vaginas?

My Facebook status this morning:

“I had a great idea for a quote for today’s napkin. I went to take a shower, now can’t remember what it was. grrr…”
The comments went as follows: 

Jessica: i write blog posts like that entirely in my head and then they disappear.

Hanna: Glad I’m not the only one with short term memory probs! 🙂

Margaret: Maybe ‘dirty hair equals great ideas’ or ‘write it down before you wash it away’, 😉 you could have one of your illustrations with great thoughts coming out out of its grimy head. By the way, I haven’t showered yet.

Me: Margaret, at least you wrote it down before you showered! LOL

Thomas: Go back to your shower, make it cold, and your thought will come back to you from Neverland;)Ryan: You are supposed to have good ideas in the shower, not lose them.

Me: yea, I reversed that truism, didn’t I!


Kathi: I think you now have a new idea for today’s napkin!!! “When brilliant ideas get washed down the drain!” 🙂
Deborah: ACTUALLY …. I think THAT would make a GREAT QUOTE for the napkin … ” I had a great idea …went to the shower …” …. not only is it a GREAT visual (PG-13 Lots of soap bubbles LOL ) but I can see several trajectories it could take …. our overly busy lives/brains…aging… OR?Me: I might have to do that Deb and Kathi! I might use a photo I took of you Deb as my starting point, you ok with that? LOL (not going to use me in the shower, bad visual!)

Deborah: LOL !!! ~~~ Marty you in the shower with YOUR HAT ON is AWESOMENESS !!! … LOTTTTTTTS of BUBBLES !!!! …. If you make me into a mermaid …..then ……….perhaps !! Laughing so hard !
Me: I wonder if I could do a series on forgetful mermaids…
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who is not now, nor has ever been, a Merman (though he can hold his breath for an admirable length of time).
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The Opportunity to Play the Game – Olympics #3

Olympics Series – #3

The Opportunity to play

Heartbreak

I watched a lot of the American Olympic trials that were broadcast about a month before the games.  They are really more heartbreaking to me than the Olympics.  If you are at the Olympics, the heartbreak is falling short there.  But if you fall short at the trials, you watch the Olympics at home on TV like the rest of us.  For some, it’s disappointing, but they have been to the Olympics in years past and won something.  But for those who don’t get there the first time, and perhaps will now never get there, it is not just disappointing, it’s depressing.  

What they need, even more than some of the Olympians, is Olympic size courage. Courage to lay down one dream gently and pick up a new one, one for which they might not even know where to start looking. 

I admire greatly those who don’t make it after trying with all their might.  I always feel for them but I also always root them on to find a new dream.

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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who has never been to the Olympics.

Quote by Mike Singletary

The King and the Pawn – Olympics #2

It’s day #2 of Olympics week at the NDD.  Notice anything different about the drawing today? It’s a ‘not a napkin’ napkin (because I ran out of napkins).
Guess what I drew it on.

olympics 2

FAME and GLORY

So much fame, so many endorsements, so much attention, money, glory, adulation, hype and talk for the winners. So much obscurity for the losers. But answer me this. Who won what 100 years ago in the Olympics?  I don’t know, I am sure you don’t either, unless you look it up or are related to a winner from back then.  We all go back in the same box. Most of us, famous or not, eventually forgotten.  Is that depressing? In some ways, yes. One of the things I like most about being an artist is leaving something behind. But art is corruptible (especially when drawn on a napkin) and it too will not last forever most likely.

What Remains?

What remains then?  Kindness remains.  That is it. That is what I want to get my gold medal in when the time comes.  That is what I want to hand down to my daughters and grand kids (come on daughters, times a’ wasting).  I want to be good at what I do of course. I want to work with those who strive for excellence. But I really don’t have much tolerance for excellence that is covered with anger and vitriol. I don’t want to be around a winner who is mean and hurtful.  I don’t want to be in a business relationship (though it is unavoidable at times) with someone who is scheming, manipulative, insensitive and negative.

I want to be, and I want to surround myself with, one who is both excellent and kind,  who achieves great things and does it with love in my heart.  

That lasts.

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who has a lot to learn.

Quote is an Italian proverb

How Borderless is Your Love? – Olympics #1

 

olympics 1

Where?

Who would you root for if you didn’t know where the athletes were from?  So far I have wanted a Mexican, a Canadian, a Nigerian, a Chinese, a Japanese, an Australian, a Brit, an American, a Swede, a Russian, a Jamaican, a South African and a Romanian to excel and win in their efforts. And that is just who I can think of off the top of my head sitting at my computer.

I love when those in my country wins, its exciting and it makes me proud.  But in the end it is an individual who wins, or a team of individuals, not an entire country. There are bragging rights for sure, but the medals go to individuals.  I am proud of them, no matter the geography of their birth and raising.  I am proud of their effort and their diligence, perseverance and determination.  That is what I am in awe of.

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Drawing by Marty Coleman

Quote by Pablo Casals, Cellist 

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