The freckled ghosts with no bodies huddled together when they started to trick or treat in the cold. Penelope had her best lipstick on but no one answered the door at the beach house.
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
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Trivia of the Day
There is no scientific name for the fear of candy.
What more is there to say – have fun and be safe!
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Anonymous
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Fact of the day
Fear of Halloween is known as Samhainophobia. Samhain is the ancient pagan festival that Halloween descended from.
A Short Short Story
The bodyless ghosts crowded up against the sliding glass door, scared by the cawing birds and wanting to come in to watch the game.
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Drawing and short, short story by Marty Coleman
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Fact of the day
Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters! That song is on my iPod run mix.
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Finally Step 10!
Step 10a-10d: See 1a-1d
Step 10e: Get divorced after 20 years of marriage.
Step 10f: Start dating woman from church who is also getting divorced.
Step 10g: Stop dating woman from church and introduce her to guy in Sunday School.
Step 10h: Have woman from church say she can’t ever talk to me again because her new boyfriend I introduced her to is jealous.
Step 10i: Go internet dating.
Step 10j: Have some wonderful girlfriends who aren’t quite the right fit.
Step 10k: Meet woman on match.com, think she is cool and date her for 2 years, with a break up in there somewhere.
Step 10l: Meet woman from match.com’s daughter and think she is cool.
Step 10m: Ask woman from match.com to marry me.
Step: 10n: Get married to woman from match.com
Step 10o: Find out woman from match.com’s name is Linda.
Step 10p: Live happily ever after.
This is a great place to stop for a while. I will pick it back up later, maybe doing it once a week or so.
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Concept, drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who thought internet dating was fun.
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Fact of the day
Approximately 1/3 of marriages in the US are step-family involved remarriages for one or both partners.
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It sounds worse than it was, but it was bad.
Steps 9a-9d: Repeat 1a-1d
Step 9e: Watch as wife drifts away from relationship.
Step 9f: Watch as company where I have dream job goes bankrupt.
Step 9g: Become unemployed.
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Concept, drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who didn’t actually almost drown himself in a big reusable jelly jar glass.
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Fact of the day
The average American spends 4 years at a job. In Portugal the average is 12.5 years.
Take a road trip with me across the country!
Steps 8a-8d: See 1a-1d
Step 8e: Give up looking for a college teaching job after 8 unsuccessful years.
Step 8f: Retrain yourself in computer graphics, using your family’s and friend’s computers during the day while they are at work.
Step 8g: Land a dream job in Tulsa, Oklahoma after you promise the company you will use your own computer as your work computer.
Step 8h: Drive sight unseen 1,692 miles across the country with your wife and kids to start a new life.
Step 8i: Start at entry level pay that is less than you made working four part-time jobs back in California.
Step 8j: Work hard and get promoted until 18 months later you are the Art Director and Producer at an educational software company.
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Concept, Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who doesn’t actually have a cowboy hat but wants one.
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Fact of the Day
Oklahoma originally was going to be 2 states but the Republican controlled congress did not want 4 Democratic senators added to their ranks. They made the two potential states into one so that only 2 would be appointed. Oklahoma was admitted to the union in 1907.
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Yes, I am trying to draw you in.
Steps 7a-7d: see 1a-1d
Step 7e: Get a part time job teaching drawing at a community college.
Step 7f: Get another part time job doing the same thing at a different community college.
Step 7g: Get a third job doing the same thing at yet another community college.
Step 7h: Keep your job working in a restaurant, creating art and raising your family.
Step 7i: Apply for full-time teaching jobs at colleges and universities all around the country.
Step 7j: Repeat steps 7e-7i for 9 years.
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Concept, drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
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Trivia of the day
The teaching job I applied for that had the most applications was at the University of Virginia. There were 0ver 600 applications for one Assistant Professor position.
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It’s a new week and we are graduating to step six!
Step 6a-6d: See steps 1a-1d.
Step 6e: Move 515 miles to first college out of high school. Miss first semester because of being blown up.
Step 6f: Move 919 miles to second college because first college closes down. Lose girlfriend.
Step 6g: Move 3,072 miles to third college because you can’t afford the second college. Get Religion.
Step 6h: Graduate from 3rd college. Get married, have kids.
Step 6i: Move 2,399 miles to go to graduate school. Have car crash that should have been an omen.
Step 6j: Move 2,431 miles to second graduate school because you get kicked out of first graduate school for being a crappy artist.
Step 6k: Graduate from Graduate school. Start looking for jobs.
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Concept, drawings and commentary by Marty Coleman, who wasn’t really as crappy an artist as the professor said, but was still pretty bad.
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Fact of the day
There are over 2,700 colleges and universities in the US as of 2009. My immediate family has gone to 12 of them and graduated from 5 (so far).
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I know you have been waiting for this, so I am putting it on the table for you!
Steps 5a-5d: See steps 1a-1d
Step 5e: Get job at a restaurant.
Step 5f: Draw and photograph many of your co-workers and patrons (but not the ones you spill things on).
Step 5g: Meet art teachers, dealers and collectors and show them your work.
Step5h: Meet famous people and rich people and encourage them to buy your art.
Step5i: Repeat for 13 years.
Step 5j: Draw another waiter (not me, in spite of the resemblance, really) spilling food and wine all over.
Step 5k: Color in drawing of waiter. Use pretty colors.
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Concept, drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who never spilled wine or food on anyone but did drop a few plates.
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Fact of the Day
The highest amount paid for a painting by a living artist is 34.2 million dollars at an October, 2012 Sotheby’s Auction. The artist is Gerhard Richter and the seller was Eric Clapton.
Here is a photo of the painting being sold. It's the colorful one.
I know you weren’t expecting this, but it was due!
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Steps 4a-4d: Repeat steps 1a-1d.
Step 4e: Meet someone.
Step 4f: Marry them (traditional version)
Step 4g: Have sex with them (traditional version)
Step 4h: Get pregnant, or help at least (traditional version)
Step 4i: Have baby (traditional version)
Step 4j: Repeat 4g-4i as often as you wish.
Step 4k: Draw baby being born from memory. (don’t draw as it happens, that would be rude).
Step 4l: Color in drawing (be accurate)
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Concept, drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who contributed to this scenario 3 times (and added another in an untraditional way).
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Trivia of the day
An average of approximately 3,000 babies in the US are dropped upon delivery each year.
Come on, let’s have a show! Here is what you do next in your journey to draw a napkin.
Step 3a-3d: Repeat steps 1a-1d
Step 3e: Draw yourself at your big exhibition opening greeting all the admiring guests.
Step 3f: Color in the drawing of yourself at the big opening.
Step 3f: Make sure to include your art and the rich and famous collectors, dealers and critics who will be there.
Step 3g: Show yourself complimenting them on their outfit and hair (if they have any).
Step 3h: Show yourself selling your work. Tell them the piece would go well over their bed.
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Concept, drawings and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is no relation to the artist in the drawings. Really.
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Fact of the day:
There are over 60 Museums on the Island of Manhattan, New York City.
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I hope this public service series on how to draw a napkin is helping you.
Steps 2a-2d: Repeat steps 1a-1d
Step 2e: Go to art college or at least a big empty space and draw naked people a lot. Men, women or hermaphrodites are acceptable.
Step 2f: Move from drawing naked people to painting naked people. Use pretty colors.
Step 2g: Practice being an artist for 30 years (this is an important step, don’t skip it).
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Concept, drawings and commentary by Marty Coleman
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Fact of the day:
Top ten most popular subjects in art (according to a survey conducted by Art Business Today magazine (UK)
1. Traditional landscapes.
2. Local views.
3. Modern or semi-abstract landscapes.
4. Abstracts.
5. Dogs.
6. Figure studies (excluding nudes or nakeds).
7. Seascapes, harbour, and beach scenes.
8. Wildlife.
9. Impressionistic landscapes.
10. Nudes (this includes Nakeds as well).
Many people have asked me to teach them how to draw a napkin. So here is my FREE tutorial. Pay close attention.
Step 1a: Get a napkin
Step 1b: Get some markers
Step 1c: Draw a rectangle in the color of your choosing (note: creative moment of free will)
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Step 1d: Write the title in the rectangle
Step 1e: Draw a line around the rectangle (1d and 1e are interchangeable, but it is more dangerous)
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Step 1f: Draw another rectangle (this time using another color of your choosing)
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Step 1g: Write the subtitle in the rectangle
Step 1h: Draw a line around the rectangle (you do not have to repeat the border line, it’s already there, SCORE!)
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Step 1i: Draw someone learning to draw (be accurate) under the 2 rectangles
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Step 1j: Color in the drawing of someone learning how to draw (use pretty colors)
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TADA, you are now done with Step 1. Now practice.
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Concept, drawings and words by Marty Coleman
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It would be a sin not to post one final napkin for Judge Knot week!
I know you might be thinking that sounds like a nice Christian thing to say but I don’t mean it in the traditional way. What I mean is I hate the word sin. I hate the mentality that calls so much of our behavior sin. In my mind it is both archaic stylistically and ineffective practically to label everything a sin. Why is that? Because labeling something sin attaches an immediate moral judgment to it. What’s wrong with that you say? It is fine when it actually has something to do with morality, and indeed there is plenty of behavior that does. But most of what people call sin we know now isn’t nearly as much about morality as it is about biology and chemistry and psychology.
Wait a second, isn’t that going to lead to people using excuses for continuing on in their bad behavior? Well, first off, Christianity already has the ultimate safety valve in place, that is the doctrine that you are not saved by works but by faith. No good thing you can do (on your own) can save you and no bad thing you can do (once you have accepted the doctrine) can destroy you. So, people already have their excuse if they want it. But further than that, getting rid of calling behavior sin and beginning to call it something judgment neutral doesn’t make excuses easier, it makes them harder. Why is that? Because accusations and judgment always lead to a defensive response. Saying someone is bad demands the person respond with why they are not but saying someone might have a biological condition that needs to be explored has no accusation or condemnation. You aren’t condemned if you break your arm and someone says you have a broken arm and need to get it fixed. It’s judgment neutral and you are free to get the arm fixed.
Let’s take one of the traditional sins, gluttony. That is usually attached to someone being obese. Condemning and judging them for their obesity doesn’t take one step towards them overcoming their ‘sin’. Once they are judged, they still have to figure out what it is that is going on in their bodies, their history, their habits. They still have to take deliberate steps to change what they can and move in a new direction. If the reason has to do with family eating habits, then that needs to be addressed. If it has to do with a imbalance in the thyroid, that needs to be addressed. If it is a psychological or emotional issue, that needs to be addressed. None of those reasons have anything to do with the original comdemnation/judgment so why add it in the first place?
A better avenue is to forget the judgment and just start with reasons. These are real reasons that we can do something about, not reasons rooted in an archaic and simplistic understanding of humanity. It’s important to note, we aren’t saying there isn’t a problem when we avoid the judgment of calling something a sin. We are saying the problem can be dealt with and solved by dealing with what is really happening, not what some religious doctrine demands we call something.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Anonymous
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The Seven Deadly Sins were first codified by Pope Gregory and popularized by Dante in his ‘Divine Comedy’.
Here is the list in Latin:
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I got roped into drawing Judge Knot #4 today!
I hate hearing about murder suicides. It’s always so completely tragic in every way. It’s the same with judgment. It kills you and the one you are judging. Now obviously I am not talking about physical death. I am talking about emotional damage.
Being a judgmental person stifles you. It stunts your growth, diminishes your joy and shrinks the beauty of the world around you. I wraps you up like a cowboy ropes a calf, immobilizing you and keeping you from movement.
In the meanwhile you are hurting someone else. It’s possible you could be judging and the other person or people don’t even know it. And in that case you might think they aren’t being damaged. But I think they are, for no other reason then they don’t get the opportunity to know you. You might not be worth knowing but I doubt it. I bet you are worth knowing and you judging them keeps them away from you. You aren’t going to let them in. That is good if the person is rightly judged a creep or a danger in some ways. But what if your judgment is due to the color of their skin, or their zip code, or the club they belong to? Then what? Is there a legitimate reason not to know them, to let them know you? No, there isn’t.
What about when what you say, your judgment, does make its way back to the person? What if you say it directly to them? Once again, if it’s based on real reasons then perhaps the judgment needs to be spoken. But if not, if your judgment is frivolous and made for social reasons, not real ones, then you are damaging that person on purpose. You are purposely inflicting emotional pain on that person. And for what reason? To make you feel better about yourself or to look better in the eyes of someone else. It’s an ugly thing to witness and the person doing it is being ugly, no matter how pretty they are.
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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman
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Supreme Court Justice Samuel Chase was the only justice ever to be impeached by the U.S. House of Representatives (1804). He was acquitted of all charges by the U.S. Senate (1805). He also was a signer of the Declaration of Independence.
Samuel Chase, 1741-1811
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I judge it to be day 3 of ‘Judge Knot’ week!
In spite of the cliche ‘curiosity killed the cat’ what being curious does is teach you that you will not die (because you are not as stupid as a cat I hope). You will not die from appreciating the woman with the striped toenails at the public pool. You will not die from appreciating your co-worker with a lot of tattoos. You will not die if you eat at an exotic food at a restaurant representing a country you are unfamiliar with. You will not die if you have a date with someone of a different race than you.
Do you want to untie your Judge Knot? Be curious. Curiosity doesn’t mean you don’t judge. It means you reserve judgment until you have knowledge. It means you don’t judge based on prejudice and bigotry. It means you hold your judgments and opinions lightly, being willing to change them when good evidence and strong ideas lead you to change them. I am a big judger. I judge and I believe in judging. I just don’t believe in doing it before my curiosity has had a chance to work. After I have found out about something I feel fine making a judgment. I then hold the judgment lightly and reserve the right to change my mind, which I often do.
That is how humans progress after all, right?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Walt Whitman
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Walt Whitman first published his famous collection of poems ‘Leaves of Grass’ in 1855. He continued to produce new editions with new material for 36 years, until his self-titled ‘Deathbed Edition’ in 1891. He died in 1892.
Walt Whitman by Thomas Eakins
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How do you see yourself? I photograph a lot of people and I always assume that how I see them will not be how they see themselves. I will more than likely think they are prettier, thinner, healthier, more colorful, more stylish, more confident looking than they think they are. Now, part of this is the obvious result of them knowing themselves better than I know them. They see the scars, they see the lack of muscle tone, they see the sags or pasty coloring that I don’t see. But even if I do see those things I am still not understanding their place the way the owner of those things understands them. That is to be expected.
The more important question is, how do you see yourself? Is your awareness of some element of your face or body overwhelmed with negative judgment or is it just an acknowledgement? For example, let’s say you (talking to a woman here), notice that your skin is a bit pale lately as summer ends and fall begins. You put on a bit more blush and a brighter shade of lipstick to compensate for the paleness and you are good to go. If you had to go out without the blush and lipstick you would be ok, but you have the time to add it so you do. You feel good and unself-conscious.
Compare that to you not just seeing yourself as a bit pale but as judging yourself as ugly and unacceptable for being pale. You are judging yourself but part of that judgment is projecting a world full of judges you must face when you go out. You worry that others will be seeing not just you being a bit pale, but as being ugly or old looking or lazy for not tanning or using makeup better. You feel lousy and self-conscious.
The important thing to remember in all this is that the entirety of almost all judgment that is going on is going on inside your own head. While there might be someone out there who is going to judge you, it’s not likely. The truth is, if someone does see you when you are pale and feeling vulnerable, it is likely they are going to either not notice or if they do, it will be a brief awareness and then a forgetting of it. They likely will not be judging you.
The question then becomes, why do you think they are judging you? Well, most of the time people think others think like them. So perhaps the place to start is in evaluating if you are, not only your own harsh judge, but a harsh judge of others as well. I know some people who would never be judgmental of others, but continue to think they are being judged much harsher than they are. Then again I do know some people who are always thinking others are judging them because they spend much of their time judging others rather mercilessly.
Which one are you? If you are the judge, then that is where to start. Be conscious of it and make a decision to stop the judgment when you see yourself doing it. Avoid TV shows and other people who push judgment as a form of entertainment and social bonding. It isn’t. If you aren’t a judge but constantly feel judged then evaluate whether it really is an accurate evaluation of how others are responding to you. Do you have any evidence they are judging you? What is that evidence? Chances are you will find that evidence is in your head, not something actually coming from them. Keep evaluating and look for real evidence of that judgment. Not just some look that can be interpreted a million different ways, but actual proof they are judging you. I bet you find very little.
The best, most realistic way to untie the Judge Knot is to practice judging not. If you do, then judgment, either from yourself or others, real or imagined, will diminish.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Nancy Lopez, American Golfer
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I spoke at a 4H conference this past week and even though my talk wasn’t specifically about judgment I found myself returning to it again and again during the talk and in conversations afterwards. I was speaking on things that stop you from becoming who you want to be, and judgment is one of the big ones.
Why does judgment stop us? Because it stops consideration. Judgment is a decision about something. Of course, we need judgment to make wise decisions, to make moral or ethical decisions. But many of our judgments in life have nothing to do with those things. They don’t protect us from danger or destruction, they blind us to possibilities and joy.
Judgment is in our thoughts first of course, before it becomes words. What do we get out of judgment thinking? We get security for one. We know what is right and what is wrong and that is the essence of security. We get superiority and superiority gives a feeling of security as well. I am better than the person I am judging; I look better, speak better, sound better, care more and others see me as better. What else do we get out of judging?
Then we go from thinking to speaking judgment. What do we get out of judgment speaking? We get is validation. We get supporters, troops and weaponry. We get the ability to kill. This sounds great if you are in a war. But are you in a war? Do you want your life to be about fighting and judging? Can you pay attention to the beauty and wonder of the world and the people in it if you are always busy either attacking in judgment or preparing for judgment battle?
Moving towards, and becoming practiced at, judging not can indeed be a knot that is not easy to untie. What steps can we take to untie the knot?
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Ira Gassen
I am in Arkansas, speaking at the Southern Region 4H Volunteer Forum. Here are some of the drawings I have done and people I have met so far.
Her friend said Ruby was sexy and fun so I should draw her, so I did.
Someone told me this was her favorite quote and I decided its one of my new favorites as well.
Boy, where to start with this retro poster I happen to see in a display this morning! What do you think it is saying?
She is also a web designer so as we talked about the confusions of WordPress after my presentation I asked her to let me draw her.
The good folks at Oklahoma 4H set up a fun space for people to come by and draw their own napkins. I sat at the table and did a meet and greet this morning. This is where the drawings you see were done.
This was the sunset that met me this morning.
Karla, the woman who hired me for this gig, had a meltdown over a technical issue last night. Kevin, her co-worker, saved her butt. In return he wanted her to kiss his toes. This drawing I did for her is as much as he got in that category! 
Ruby’s friend wanted her drawing done as well!
I am going to be giving the Keynote address at the Southern Region 4H Volunteer Forum in Little Rock, Arkansas tomorrow. I wanted to have a napkin specifically for 4H but was having a hard time visualizing it. Luckily, as I was writing the commentary for a napkin I was drawing earlier this week I came up with this quote. It started me thinking about what I know of the 4H Organization and how it all seems to be about helping young people become who they want to become.
It’s a tricky thing, this becoming. We are constantly becoming something new in mind and in body, even us old people. But it is especially true of young people. They are going through a tsunami of becoming as they grow. Our job as parents, as volunteers, as teachers, as mentors, is to figure out the best ways to help these young people navigate through this tsunami of change.
I love the simplicity of the 4H idea: Becoming takes place in four arenas of life; Head, Hand, Heart and Health. That is what it’s all about.
It acknowledges that our thinking, working, caring, and fitness all need to develop in balance with one another. It’s not enough just to be a model of bodybuilder perfection or look great in a bikini if you aren’t able to think critically about the world. It’s not enough to be a theoretical genius in neuroscience if you fail to love your neighbor. It’s not enough to be always working, earning all the money in the world, if you ignore your health.
They all work must in concert with one another if we want to be the person we really want to be. And as any kid will tell you, they are watching our example much more than our words. So if we want our youth to be balanced, guess what? We have to lead the way.
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Drawing, commentary and quote by Marty Coleman
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I come across a lot of people who, when I say I am an artist, say in response, ‘Oh, I am SO not creative.’ My usual response is ‘You are probably more creative than you realize.’ But in truth often times I am thinking, ‘Yea, that is probably true.’ Why would I think that? Because anyone who says they aren’t creative obviously thinks they aren’t. And guess what? Those who say they aren’t something very seldom become it.
The other reason people say it is because it is they think it is something you are born with, something ingrained, mysterious. Not something you can learn. But that is not true, you can learn how to be creative. You just can’t learn it from someone else very easily. You have to learn it and practice it with yourself. So, if that is the case, how can you become creative when you aren’t creative enough to teach yourself.
The key is in talking to yourself. The talk is not of the ‘do this, do that’ variety. it is of the ‘hmmm, I wonder what would happen if’ variety. It is the voice of fearlessness, the voice of curiosity and the voice of joy. If you are willing to talk to yourself, encouraging yourself to try something, something a bit off the wall perhaps, you have a way to bridge that gap.
But, this is a case where you really do need to take your own advice and say, ‘OK, I’ll try it.’
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Drawing by Marty Coleman. It is the second drawn interpretation of this quote. You can see the first drawing, from 2009, here.
Quote by Arthur Koestler
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