I Will Be Humble – Be It Resolved #4

 

I am humbled to announce today is the last day of 2012 AND day #4 of Resolution Week!

 

resolved #4

 The Naked and the Clothed

We like to clothe ourselves in many things.  We have our careers, families, money, homes, cars, friends, culture, fitness, style, science, beauty, youth, and, of course, actual clothing.  These things can give us the illusion that we are in control of our lives and in truth, since our lives do consist, in part, of those things, we are indeed controlling our lives. But it’s also very easy to use those same things to hide an even larger truth about our lives, and that is that we are not in complete control.  Underneath all those things we can control are many more things we can’t.

The Known Maybe and the Unknown Certainty

My father, Skeets Coleman, is 94 now.  And we all know his death is coming because he is old. That is known. But in spite of his advanced age he is still in relatively good health and we actually don’t know when or how he will die.  And we also don’t know if one of his children or grandchildren will die before he does. It isn’t likely that will happen and we would not want it to be so but the truth is we do not know. What do we know for certain?  We will die. But even that immutable truth is an unknown to us until the moment (or shortly before the moment) arrives.  

What is in Front of Us?

Do you know what your life is going to be like? Do you have it planned out?  That is good, nothing wrong with planning. It is ok to feel good about your life and who you are.  Being humble isn’t about purposely dissing yourself to appear humble. It’s about understanding reality. It is about remembering that all the ‘master of the universe’ desires we may have and may act on will not completely reduce the unknowns.  It is good to be humble as we acknowledge that the universe, god, karma, science or whatever combination of things is at work, is beyond our control.  

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman

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Trivia of the Day (answer tomorrow)

The richest man on the Titanic died.  Who was he and why was he on the boat?

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I Will Be Diligent – Be It Resolved #3

 

I have diligently prepared for you day #3 of Resolution Week at the NDD. Enjoy.

 

be it resolved #3

Creating Self

A friend of mine here in Tulsa, Erin Patrick, has a favorite saying, ‘You don’t find yourself, you create yourself’.  There is a great truth in that. Finding yourself indicates you existed before, like finding a coin on the side of the road or a lost puppy.  It existed and then you found it. But the quote says that isn’t true about people. We don’t exist off somewhere in the future waiting to be found, we don’t exist at all until we decide who we want to be.  We might decide unconsciously, as a matter of fact a lot of evidence in the past decade points to a huge portion of our lives being decided by unconscious elements in our history and present day.  

Conscious and Deliberate

But there is still plenty we consciously decide and create. We decide to exercise or not. We decide to pursue needlepoint or painting or both. We decide to go to college or graduate school or not.  We decide to wear something sexy or something dowdy.  Those are all things we can, in large part, control.  The main deciding factor in whether we get good at one of those things, or finish a course of action, is our diligence, our perseverance. Do we keep at it until we are a master of it or do we become a light weight diletante? Do we keep going until we have graduated or do we quit?  Do we make excuses for not sticking with something?

The Life Self-Portrait

What you do, whether deliberate or unconscious, contributes to who you are to become.  Being deliberate about it allows for choices and more opportunities.  But what about becoming expert in things they don’t teach in school?   What about being deliberate about being a lover?  Can you be deliberate about practicing love? Yes, of course you can. And will become a great lover as a result? Yes you will.  Practice love in it’s practical forms; being thoughtful, sensitive, kind, joyful, grateful, empathetic, patient and honest, and you will become a loving person.  It’s not magic and it’s not a secret.  You simply create yourself by practicing who you want to be.

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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who is a lover, not a fighter.

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Question of the day

What is the latin word for ‘Diligence’?

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I Will Be Patient – Be It Resolved #2

 

Be patient, it’s only day #2 of ‘Resolution’ week!

be it resolved 2

Just Missed!

You know what is so annoying?  When you are just about to tell your spouse something they do really bugs you but they tell you something you do bugs them first and then you can’t tell them what bugs you because it will sound like you are deflecting and distracting and not willing to listen to what they are saying so you have to listen to them tell you this thing that bugs them and the whole time you are barely paying any attention and just itching to tell them what bugs you!  

Too Much Time Together

My wife and I had our annual ‘we are spending way to much time together and starting to annoy each other’ holiday conversation last night.  It actually went well and we had a good talk, no fighting, no argument, no big disagreement (except about the nutritional value of the ‘beige’ meals we have too often).  But what we did do is talk about our daughters. I have 3, she has 1, all grown up now.  What we see now that they are older is the ongoing importance of having patience with them growing up, learning how to be an adult.  

Young Patience

Of course when they are young we know to have patience with them learning how to do something, like build something with blocks.  We know that after we do the initial teaching the best thing we can do is to stand back and let them learn on their own. We can’t help them too much or else they really won’t learn as thoroughly as they need to.  Most parent know that’s how it works.  

Forever Patience

But when they grow up it’s even more important to be patient but much harder to do so. We want to spare them real pain and suffering and that translates into sparing them not real pain, but just the typical hands-on life action they need to become fully functioning adults.  It might be them having to get the oil changed in their car or it might be them having to navigate the dating or job world. It might be them having to learn how to travel internationally or maybe it’s them figuring out how to rent an apartment.  It’s not that we don’t help with any of it, but we can’t do it for them completely. If we do we are denying them the essential building blocks of adulthood, and that is doing them no favors at all. 

Are you patient, either with yourself or others?  Could you be better at it? What do you have to do…I mean practically, really, step-by-step do…to make patience a more balanced part of your life?

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is pretty patient but not pretty.

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Answer to yesterday’s question of the day

Question: What do you think is the most often stated New Year’s resolution?  

Answer:  Spend more time with family and friends.  I am not sure people say this that much right after Christmas though, do you?  #2 is the one I thought would be #1. It’s to get fit.

I Will Be Kind – Be It Resolved #1

 

be it resolved #2

originalsold

Prints are still available. $25.00


Five resolutions I give to you.  Here is the first.

Resolve to be kind.  I don’t say ‘resolve to be kinder’ because who knows if you are even kind to begin with?  Maybe you have no kindness in you or maybe you only had kindness long ago, before the world and you wore yourself down. Resolve to be kind.

Resolve to be kind.  I don’t say ‘resolve to be kinder’ because maybe you already are kind enough.  But even if you are kind, you still have to make a choice when the moment arrives, to show and express that kindness.  You always have the choice to be mean or kind.  Resolve to be kind.

Resolve to be kind.  I don’t say ‘resolve to be kinder’ because that lays a judgment on the quality of your past kindnesses.  Looking back and comparing is of little value.  You know don’t need to be thinking about the past, you just need to see the need in the here and now. Resolve to be kind.

Resolve to be kind.  I don’t say ‘resolve to be kinder’ because that can set up a competition.  Can you be kinder than your wife or husband or neighbor?  Can you prove to the world you are the kindest of them all?  If you do, you won’t have been practicing kindess. You will have been practicing ego stroking.  Resolve to be kind.

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who likes to be kind.

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Question of the Day

What do you think is the most often stated New Year’s resolution?  

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What Matters – Christmas 2012

merry christmas 2012

What Matters

 

It’s not about the gift,

It’s not about the reason.

It’s not about the money,

And it’s not about season.

 

It’s just about the love,

Dressed up or in tatters.

Feel it, show it, give it,

And that’s what truly matters.

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Merry and Happy,  Marty

 

The Two Extra Elements – Sin and Science #4

sin and science #4

An Unexpected Call

My drawing and commentary of a few days ago about the Sandy Hook shooting got a huge response, well over 60 comments so far and counting. This was due more to me harassing my friends to comment than it was to them just being cosmically led, but I will take them any way I can get them.  One of my friends, Kaci Christian, a former reporter here in Tulsa who now lives in LA, took the extra step of actually calling me on the phone to talk about my post.  We talked about many things but one thing I liked in particular was her thinking I could expand on the 5 elements by adding the mouth and the ear to compliment the eye.  And I think she is right.  There are many things to say about both but I am going to continue the track I started a few days ago and apply how these elements had a hand in the tragedy and how they might contribute to a solution as well.

The Mouth – The mouth takes in and it sends out.  More than one person talked about how what we put in our body makes a huge difference in who we are, and that is true. But the immediate concern is what comes out of our mouths.  This is about what we say in regards to the Sandy Hook tragedy but in a greater sense it’s about what we say any time.  Do we talk with a helping hand at the heart of our thoughts or do we talk with an accusatory and judgmental gun pointed at another person, either the person we are talking to or an absent person, either an individual or a group of people.

I have many friends on both the left and right of various debates.  I live in Oklahoma so a lot of my day to day friends from running, photography, church, etc. are conservative.  I also happen to be from both coasts; raised in California and spending my teen years in Connecticut (not all that far from Newtown).  I also am an artist who has spent a fair amount of time with other artists. Those elements lead me to have many liberal friends as well.

The big differences showed up quite angrily during the recent election of course, and there were times when I went too far in expressing myself.  My words were too accusatory and judgmental.  Not always, sometimes the words were needed and I don’t apologize for that. But other times I just let my anger about an issue get the better of me and I wrote or spoke words that were more of a gun than a hand.

I need to do better with my mouth and the words I let come out.  What about you? 

Remember this: You do have the ability to make your words be a hand that helps or a gun that shoots.  Choose to speak as a hand reaching out.

The Ear – It can hear but does it listen?  That is the age old question, isn’t it.  Ask many married couples and you will hear stories of them not listening to each other in spite of hearing the words.  The key always seems to come down to listening for what is said between the lines, not the line itself.  How do we do that in the aftermath of something like Sandy Hook?  When I hear a gun owner angrily defend his ownership of guns, what does he really want us to know?  When I hear a friend go on an impassioned plea about mental health issues, what is behind it?

When I was first married, to both my wives actually, I heard the obvious from both of them. What they said is what I heard. Too late in my first marriage I finally heard what she was wanting me to hear, not just her auditory sounds.  It’s made for a positive post-marriage relationship between the two of us, but I certainly do wish I wasn’t as dumb about it all during the marriage.  The good thing is that I do think I learned something from those years and do better with Linda, my wife now.  Of course, I am sure she would say I still have plenty of work to do in hearing her but I think she might also say I try hard to get to what is being said with her heart, not just her words.

How can we listen, not just hear, all the responses and feelings about Sandy Hook?  We have to start with assuming the best of people.  If we only listen for cliche conservative or liberal messages and respond with anger at the assumed agenda then that is all we will hear.  Focus on finding out what are the hopes and fears of the person who is talking, not what is their agenda (even if they have one) and we find who they are underneath it all.  Then we can listen with compassion and love, not reactive deafness.

What do you listen for?

Remember this: You have the ability to hear deeper than the words spoken.  You can hear the hand or you can hear the gun, both often come out at the same time.  Choose to hear the hand reaching out.

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman

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The Five Elements – Sin and Science #3

sin and science 3

The children and adults at Sandy Hook are dead because of the 5 elements shown above.  Unless we address those five elements we will not have the change we want.  Here why I think they matter.

    • The Gun – Yes, the gun matters.  It was a gun that was used to killed them.  Those who say it doesn’t matter, that if guns were banned the bad guys would find some other way of committing mass atrocities are wrong. There is ample evidence that people will not be likely to kill another person if they have to use a weapon that demands them to be in contact with the person.  They will not use a knife for example because they would have to be right there with the person and they would be afraid of having the weapon taken away and it being turned on them. They are also afraid they wouldn’t know how to actually do the killing or be strong enough. And finally they would not want blood all over them.  Sick, but true.  So, guns, and what type of guns are legal, matter in the debate. To say they don’t is to deny reality.
    • The Hand –  Yes, the hand matters. It was a specific person who pulled the trigger.  He (or in rare cases she) should be held personally responsible for their actions. That is what our legal system is built for and should be used for.  Training our children to take personal responsibility for their actions is one of the primary jobs of a parent, and those supporting the family.  Having sane and effective consequences for the child,  and, even more importantly, adults, who do not take that responsibility are essential.  If we don’t include this in the debate we will not find the most effective answer to our violence problem.
    • The Brain – Yes, the brain matters.  I called it a brain instead of a mind because I want to focus on the reality of what happens in the physical part of the body called the brain.  Mental illness is an unfortunate term in some ways because it makes us think that it’s simply about what a person thinks, not the physical structure of the brain itself.  If you break a bone in your arm you don’t say you have an arm disease. When you pull a quad muscle during a run  you don’t say you have a thigh disease.   You call it something specific. You have a pulled quad muscle or a broken arm.  People with mental illness have something physically wrong with their brain.  It is harder to distill than when the injury is in other parts of the body, but it’s just as real. What that means is that it is not true that all people are in control of themselves and their actions at all time. There are things that happen in the brain that change perception of reality and make people not able to understand right from wrong, real threats from imagined ones. We are learning more about this all the time.  We need to include this focus on the brain, how it can malfunction and what we can do to heal it or else we will not have an satisfactory answer to our national problem.
    • The Eye – Yes, the eye matters. What we fill our eyes (and thus our minds) with affect who we are.  If we spend our time watching movies and games that have as their focus the hurting of other people again and again, whether physically or emotionally, then we are very likely to start thinking along those lines. Programs, games and events that insistently show or allow us to participate voyeuristically in murder, killing, raping,  terrorism, war and mayhem for it’s entertainment value do indeed move us in that direction. It becomes what we think about more than if we didn’t see or interact with those things. But I am also talking about mean-spirited, gossipy, and self-righteous programs and speakers whose sole goal is to make fun of other people, to cut them down and belittle them for being different than, and thus less than, they are.  What we watch and put in our minds and hearts matter.
    • The Dollar – Yes, money matters.  Gun manufacturing is driven by sales, just as cars and toys are.  No sales and the cars, toys or guns will not be manufactured.  Vested interests, including everyone in the gun industry, mental health industry,  video game &TV/movie industry, and  science industry, have a right to make a living.  There is nothing wrong with them arguing responsibly from their point of view but we should always understand they have a vested financial interest, even as they might be discussing things rationally.  In the end, we as a nation are not primarily responsible for their industry’s financial health, they are.  Our primary responsibility, foreign or domestic, is to protect our citizens.  We have a right to come together and make laws that facilitate doing that.  We regulated tobacco, cars, chemicals, transportation and many other things for the express purpose of protecting our citizens, even when doing so meant those industries had to change and adapt. However, the most effective voting we can do is with our pocket book.  As a parent, you don’t have to buy that violent video game for your child for Christmas.  As an adult you don’t have to pay to see a violent movie.  As a gun enthusiast you don’t have to buy a semi-automatic assault rifle and high volume magazines.  As a college graduate you can contribute to your alma mater doing research in neuroscience to help move our knowledge along in that field.  As a citizen you can contribute to and participate in activities that promote safety and sanity.  You have control over your money, use it wisely.

Those are the elements that matter.  Those are the areas that need to be addressed.  Give me a reasonable idea on how we as a nation can deal with and change our behaviors in those areas and we can start a productive discussion.  What do you think?

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman

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Blaming Sin – Sin and Science #2

sin and science 2

Blaming Sin

I have heard more than once (actually, more than a dozen times most likely) in my church life a pastor take our modern era to task for giving up on sin.  They say something along the lines of ‘You know, we used to call a sin a sin but now we call it a syndrome or a condition or a societal issue.  What we need to do is get back to calling a sin a sin.’  The point the pastor is leading to is personal responsibility, which is a worthy and valuable goal for ourselves and to teach to our children.  Blaming others or society or anything else is often just a way to avoid taking the blame yourself in other words.  But you know what another way of taking the blame off our selves is? By calling it sin.

Sin and Pride

The concept of sin is, as I mentioned yesterday, attached to ‘original sin’.  It is explained by classic Christianity as something we have in us always. It’s something we can’t escape or work our way out of.  As a matter of fact, many denominations have a central part of their liturgy being a recitation of how continually bad we are.  What is that recitation and the underlying theology but a method of saying it’s something we are just stuck with.  As a matter of fact, those who attempt to get rid of sin are often accused of being prideful.

Suspending Judgment

We can call it sin, we can say it’s from Satan if we want, but the truth is that doesn’t help us figure anything out about what to DO about it.  All we really hear in church is to not do it.  If we do sin then it is a moral failure.  And we know how effective it is to condemn someone morally is in making them repent, right? No. So, what if we, while still using the word ‘sin’ if we want, actually start to look at what happens scientifically when someone does something bad.  How about we put away the moral judgment for a bit while we investigate what is happening?  What do we have to lose by doing that?  

Effective Exploration

I certainly am not saying there isn’t personal responsibility. What I am saying is let’s be effective in how we figure out that responsibility.  If that means we investigate what goes wrong in the synapse of the brain, then that’s what we do. If it means we explore how nutrition and upbringing effects behavior, then let’s do that.  Whatever it is we pursue the answer as best we can. Our goal, after all, is to reduce ‘sin’, right?  Well, since figuring out what causes it is essential to reducing it, let’s focus on how to do that instead of focusing on the judgment, which gets us no where.

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Drawing by Marty Coleman

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Open and Shut – Sin and Science #1

sin and science 1

Original Sin

This past week has been all about the Sandy Hook killings and the need for a new discussion about gun regulations and mental health.  But I noticed something else that got me thinking and that was the big emphasis on ‘sin in the world’.  It certainly is easy to say it, especially based on the predominant Christian background of culture in the US.  Christianity states sin came in the world with Adam and Eve’s disobedience to God.  All evil and all bad things stem from that basic doctrine of ‘original sin’.  

Sin, Control and Power

There is a problem with this concept of sin.  It is a mythical tale that through oral tradition story telling explains why we are the way we are.  But what it doesn’t do is allow itself to be dissected very easily. It needs to be kept in an abstract realm to fit in theologically with the rest of Christianity.  If it is dissected its power to impart guilt and condemnation will be destroyed. The powers that be in the Church and in the ensconced power in society as a whole doesn’t want that to happen because if it does, those who are invested in that story no longer have power over you.  The can’t blame you or guilt you into behaving as they would like you to.

Mental Illness Explored

Let’s talk about mental illness as one example of how ineffective power is taken away if sin is explored.  In medical and scientific circles they know that a mental illness is when something abnormal happens chemically, electrically or biologically in the brain of an individual.  They know there is both therapeutic and/or pharmaceutical possibilities of treatment.   They also know that research needs to continue into neuroscientific areas so we can learn more about why brains do those ‘evil’ things. What really makes it happen, all the way down to the cellular level, in other words.

Stop Signs

But in the certain religious oriented population it’s more likely you will hear this bad behavior talked about as a result of our sinful condition.  And here is the rub – what do you do with that information?  Do you scientifically find out the landscape of sin? How it develops chemically? Do we go to a medical lab and delve into sin with an electron microscope to see how it behaves? No, we don’t. We just say it exists and isn’t that too bad. Oh well.  Let’s hug our kids and hope for the best.  

Go Signs

That is not good enough.  We should rid ourselves of the guilt of sin by going beyond it and exploring bad behavior in as much detail as we can in as many directions as we can. That is how we will find answers, not by saying it’s sin and that’s that.

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Drawing by Marty Coleman

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Artists I Love – Albrecht Durer – The Winter Weekend Series

I first got to know the work of Albrecht Durer, who was a Northern Renaissance artist, when I took an advanced seminar course on printmaking at the Boston Museum of Fine Art while I was attending Brandeis University.  I found his work harder to understand than the other two artists we studied, Rembrandt and Goya, but that didn’t make me appreciate his genius any less. And a genius he was.  Take a look at his self-portrait when he was a very young teenager.

He was raised to be a goldsmith like his father but was such a talent that he apprenticed the largest printmaking shop in the area instead.  He traveled around Germany after that and eventually made his way to Italy where he drew some of the first pure landscapes in the history of Western Art.

Great Piece of Turf

Albrecht Durer – ‘The Great Piece of Turf’ – Watercolor, Pen & Ink – 1503

He was one of the first in Northern Europe to systematically investigate anatomy in detail, drawing hundreds of figures and diagrams to help himself understand the nature of the human body.


Albrecht Durer – Nude Self Portrait – Pen & Ink – 1503-1505


Albrecht Durer – Figure of a Woman Shown in Motion – 1528


Albrecht Durer – Studies on the Proportions of the Female Body – Woodcut – 1528


Adam and Eve – 1507


His greatest fame though came from his printmaking.  By his mid-2os he was famous throughout Europe for his incredible engravings and woodcuts.  The engravings are what I studied at the Museum.  They are deeply symbolic and allegorical in many cases.

Albrecht Durer – Melancholia – engraving – 1507


Albrecht Durer – Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – Woodcut – 1498


Albrecht Durer – Knight, Death and the Devil – Engraving – 1513

His detail and composition are always expert of course but it is his willingness to expose deep truths and fears of life that always grabs me the most.

Finally, if you ever look at artwork involving praying hands, such at the huge bronze sculpture of praying hands here in Tulsa, here you are seeing the foundational drawing that they all are rooted in. Probably his most famous work to the non art oriented public.  Interesting enough, it is not titled ‘Praying Hands’.


Albrecht Durer – Hands of an Apostle – Drawing – 1508

Durer is well worth investigating, not just the images but his story as well.

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Fall/Winter 2016

Winter/Spring 2015

Summer 2014

Winter 2012/2013

Winter 2011/2012

Mental Generosity – Gift Giving Note #5

Being of sound mind and body I declare this day #5 of Gift Giving Week!

gift giving #5

Chicken or the Egg

What comes first the mental illness, then the stinginess? Or does stinginess lead to mental illness?  Now, of course this isn’t really a serious question.  Mental illness has a myriad of reasons for its existence, not just some simplistic outer indication.  But their is a kernal of truth in the question nonetheless.

Acting vs Feeling

One of my favorite quotes is, ‘It is easier to act your way into another way of feeling then it is to feel your way into another way of acting’.  In other words, take action first, then the feeling will follow. It’s not always the case, but it is true most of the time.  You don’t want to go run, not in the mood, but you run anyway, and guess what? Your mood most likely will change.  You don’t want to give away stuff but you do anyway and, lo and behold, you start to enjoy the giving.

Hoarding and Mental Illness

Hoarding has just been designated a mental illness of it’s on this year.  What is hoarding about but stinginess?  You don’t want to let go of something, get rid of something, allow someone else to have something.  Why? Maybe it’s because controlling that object means you control yourself and those around you.  And where does grabbing at control lead?  To the desire for more control.  Is attempting to control everything in line with the human reality we all live within?

Giving and Mental Health

Giving away stuff, giving away time, effort, self,  keeps you grounded in a very persistent reality, and that is the reality that nothing lasts.  Not you, not your stuff.  Staying in that reality is being mentally healthy so maybe it is true, that giving is not only a sign of mental health, it can actually lead to and sustain mental health.

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who doesn’t even control the remote.

Quote by Karl Menninger

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Trivia of the day

What does ‘Never look a gift horse in the mouth’ mean?  The only sure fire way to tell the age of a horse, and thus it’s value, is it to look at it’s teeth.  The higher the gum line the older the horse.  When you get a gift you should not question it’s value, if you do you are looking a gift horse in the mouth.

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Gifts and Time – Gift Giving #4

I am saying this with a Poker Face…It’s the perfect time for day #4 of Gift Giving Notes!

gift giving #4

The Gift of the Game

One of my best memories is of playing board games at the family cabin.  Whether it was Christmas, Thanksgiving or just a visit without a holiday, we always found time to play board games.  It tells you something about the people you might not ever discover otherwise.  I discovered some people just could not pay attention for very long at all. Others were highly competitive in certain games, and not in others.   The quiet ones were usually the most dangerous players.  Some were sticklers for the rules. I mean REAL sticklers, others couldn’t have cared less. As a matter of fact often times they wanted to reorganize the game with new rules.  “let’s play with just 3 cards each.”  “Let’s use 4 die instead of 2.”  or my favorite, “Let’s play the game backwards!”

Poker

If I ever came across a person like that again I would definitely recommend them playing something like Poker instead of a board game. Poker has so many variations.  When they were young I taught my daughters how to play poker using penny stakes. It was great fun and they had a blast learning the game. It was very simple 5 or 7 card draw.  I remember once watching poker on TV and I didn’t have a clue what they were playing. It certainly wasn’t Texas Hold ‘Em, I knew that much.  Since the variations are endless the type of person who likes to change the rules up can just play a different version and voila, the rules have changed!  

Mixing It Up

Even if you play the same game, you can always mix things up and try different strategies or approaches.  I do that online with the various types of games I play; backgammon, Scrabble, Mancala.  You can do it even more in Poker or other card games.  If you do like playing cards, check out this lesson on how to mix up your card game in Poker.  The site is Poker Junkie and while you can’t play there, you can learn a lot!  If I hit Las Vegas soon, which I might to attend a conference, you can be sure I will take a look at Poker Junkie to see what I can learn (which is a lot!)

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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman,

In collaboration with Elizabeth Bridges of Pokerjunkie.

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Giving But Not – Gift Giving Note #3

It may not feel like it, but here’s my gift to you today

gift giving #3

Forgetting Gifts

I don’t remember gifts.  My wife can remember a gift someone gave from 5 or more years ago at the snap of her fingers. I can’t remember what gift she gave me for my birthday this year.  I also don’t remember what I gave her for her birthday, but you can be sure she remembers.  I would like to remember more, but I just don’t. At least so far.  

The Forgetting Gift

But there is another aspect of forgetting gifts that I also have and I am glad about it. That is forgetting what gifts I gave. I like forgetting them because I hate the idea of keeping track of gift giving for some tit for tat type reason. I just don’t have the energy for it and it doesn’t matter to me.  So, I like giving and forgetting, unless of course I give the same gift 2 years in a row, then I wish I had remembered!

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who thinks copper eyeshadow almost always looks good on women, but rarely on men.

Quote by Max Beerbohm

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Hanukkah Trivia of the Day

There are a total of 44 candles lit during the eight days of Hanukkah

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What Do You Give Your Child? – Gift Giving Note #2

And here is my gift to you, day #2 of Gift Giving Week!

gift giving #2

What Doesn’t Last?

What do you give your child (or anyone for that matter) at Christmas or Hanukkah that lasts?  I have a few things given to me when I was a kid. That means they have lasted 40+ years already.  I don’t give most of them another 40 though.  So, 80 years maybe?  Maybe more if I hand it down and one of my kids care about it and keep it.  Some gifts are lucky to get taken off the living room coffee table after the presents are opened.  They are played with during the time right after the opening of the presents but they are left behind when the presents are taken to the receiver’s room for safe keeping.   Most gifts last a bit longer, but not nearly 80 years.

What does last?

Your love lasts.  That is what they will take with them and keep a lot longer than whatever present you give.  So, if you are prickly with your love, an untouchable, unfriendly sort, then you aren’t giving much love.  If you are an impenetrable wall that hides behind your strength, you aren’t giving much love.  If you are a snake, intent on deceiving, then you aren’t giving any love.  And your child isn’t receiving any either.

Just remember, when you give a gift, it isn’t really the material gift that will last, it’s the love in the giving that will.

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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who got a lot of love growing up.

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Christmas Trivia of the Day

The song, ‘I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ was written by a 12 year old.

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How vs What – Gift Giving Note #1

This is my gift to you – a week of notes on Gift Giving. Aren’t you happy?

gift giving note #1

Trauma Giving

It’s so simple it only needs one sentence.  Don’t be a stingy jerk at Christmas or Hannukah.  Ok, maybe a few more sentences.  That doesn’t mean you give a lot. It means what you give you give willingly, with joy and enthusiasm.  If you complain about the cost of something, especially to the person you are giving it to, then DON’T FREAKING BUY IT in the first place!  If you complain about how hard it was to find something, how they better enjoy it, how you hope they appreciate all the terrible trauma you went to to get it…then you are ruining the gift giving. Just shut up and give it to them with a smile.  You can tell them all about the near death experience of your Christmas shopping in your memoirs or when you are in couples counseling, but don’t do it Christmas morning.

Gracious Giving

The attitude of gracious gift giving is what your loved ones will remember and learn from, not the gift itself (unless you give them an encyclopedia, then they will probably learn from the gift as well). Of course, to get to gracious giving you might want to stay within your means and give gifts you enjoyed getting, finding, making, buying, discovering for that particular person.  Just a thought.

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Drawing and quote by Marty Coleman, who never drew a violin before (that he can remember).

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Interesting Gift Giving fact of the day

People with longer last names give more gifts at Christmas

(source: The Goods – the blog of uncommon goods)

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Trout in the Milk – Where’s the Evidence #4

Under the circumstances, you need no proof to know today is day #4 of Evidence Week!

evidence 4

The question is, what does this evidence prove?

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Drawing and question by Marty Coleman, for whom trout is his favorite meal.

Quote by Henry David Thoreau, who knows what this means but is dead.

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Trivia of the day

‘Fishes’ is a proper word.  If you are referring to multiple fish from more than one species, you say ‘fishes’. If they are all from the same species, you say ‘fish’.  I know this because I looked it up after my friend, Danielle Smith, posted a photo of the Missouri Department of Conservation’s publication titled ‘Introduction to Missouri’s Fishes’ and sort of made fun of Missouri’s English usage. Turns out it is correct usage but who cares, it looks dumb anywayses.

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The Eight Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts with Measles Fleeing – A Short Short Story #4

girl ghosts 2

Chapter 1 – Urgent Care

They had made themselves up for a night on the town but when Margie came down with red dots on her face they got worried.  They went to the bar and by the time they finished their first drink Beth and Bonzai also had red dots.  They went to Urgent Care and the doctor saw all eight of them.  He was nervous because he had never had eight people, much less eight bodyless girl ghosts, in one examination room at the same time. It was crowded and they all had on a lot of perfume.  Daphne was a bit drunk and tried to kiss him but smacked the needle dispensing box instead.  He diagnosed Ghost Measles and sent them to the pharmacy to get medicine.

Chapter 1 -Phloating at the Pharmacy

Prudence had the biggest balloon (girl ghosts travel by balloon when they are going out in big groups) so they went with her to the pharmacy.  It was deserted except for an old guy reading women’s magazines, which they thought was creepy.  They had to wait 15 minutes for the medicine so 4 of them floated aimlessly while 4 of them went back to the magazine rack.  Being bodyless they have no hands so they just hung around behind the old guy and looked at the French Vogue he was perusing from behind his back.  They liked the editorial of the man and woman wearing masks and underwear.

Chapter 1 – Quarantine 

The pharmacist told them that ghost measles was reaching epidemic proportions and that they should leave the city if they could to avoid infecting other ghosts.  The decided to go to Jordona’s grandgirlghost’s summer home at the lake and wait there.  Luckily for them Prudence’s balloon did not pop until they were almost there.  This is a drawing of them floating down from the balloon and landing right at the front porch of the house.  They stayed there for 8 days and it all went fine except for Penelope’s melt down over running out of mascara.

The End

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Drawing and Short Short Story by Marty Coleman

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The Petri Dish – Where’s the Evidence? #3

I am feeling day #3 of Evidence Week bubbling up from the primordial ooze!

Evidence #3

Rational/Irrational

My wife, Linda, once told me of a certain fear she had. I tried to explain rationally and logically why she shouldn’t have that fear.  She looked at me in exasperation and said, ‘Marty, it’s not a RATIONAL fear, you can’t talk me out of it using rational ideas.’  And I was done. There was only one thing to do and that was to let her know I felt for her in that situation and give her assurance I would help her deal with the fear when I could.

Sailing on the Ship of Illogic

Whether it’s big issues about God & heaven or small issues about fear of bugs, we all have areas where our thinking and the actions that come from those feelings are not rational or logical. They aren’t based on evidence.  We all need to be empathetic in understanding how universal it is to behave irrationally.

The Wrong Brag

But knowing that we sometimes aren’t Mr. Spock doesn’t mean we should revel in our irrationality. At least for me, I work hard to minimize that irrationality in my life. I don’t brag about or declare how proud I am of my ignorance of science, mechanics and engineering. I am humbled by it and want to learn more about it.  And I make a concerted effort to do so.  I make better and wiser choices as a result and I am safer and happier as well.

The List Within

But the main problem with willfully ignoring evidence isn’t that we might not comprehend how electricity works (which I barely understand to this day).  It means we are very likely to be held hostage by superstition and fear in many, many areas of our lives.  And those can lead to danger and violence, discrimination and bigotry.  The list is so long.

Are you afraid of the evidence? Why so?

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is not.

Quote by Sam Harris, who also is not.

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Extraordinary Requirements – Where’s the Evidence #2

I know it’s extraordinary, but today is only day #2 of Evidence Week!

evidence #2

Three Scandinavian Women

Have you ever proclaimed something has happened for which you have no evidence to back it up?  It can be pretty disconcerting since you know it happened you just can’t prove it.  I have story from high school about 3 Scandinavian women on a boat in a cove where we were water skiing that is pretty darn extraordinary.   But the climax of the story happened with no one else around, no one else to corroborate the events (except the Scandinavian Women and they were long gone the next day).  So, I can tell the story and I know it’s true, but listeners have no way of verifying it.  There is no evidence.

The Religious Moment

This is especially true of religious moments.  Where is the evidence that what it is you have gone through came from God, Satan or some other spirit being or force? How do you prove such a thing?  The truth is you can’t prove it.  You take it on faith that it came from that source and people choose to believe your story on faith as well.  If they don’t believe whatever it is you went through came from God then they are still most likely going to believe that YOU believe it came from God.

The Pudding

There really is only one way to even get close to proving something like that is real.  If you say your mind has been illuminated by God and as a result you have a new way of thinking about something, then your behavior is the proof.  The key is to realize that SAYING you have made the change is not the proof.  All the talk in the world about a conversion to a new way of thinking and understanding is not the conversion. That is just a description of the conversion.  The true conversion is in the action. As a matter of fact, the real conversion doesn’t even start until the action starts.  True change takes place and becomes permanent when it is practiced.  Talking about it isn’t practice.  Practice is practice.

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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who wonders what ever happened to them

Quote by Carl Sagan, who was a billion time smarter than I am.

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Fear’s Inception – Where’s the Evidence? #1

Don’t fear, it’s only day #1 of Evidence Week!

evidence

Evidence-based Fear

What do you fear?  Is it based on evidence?  For example, I fear getting shot in the heart by a bullet because the evidence shows that people getting shot in the heart will almost certainly die.  If I am in a situation where that looks like it might happen, you can damn well be sure I will be both afraid and will do everything I can to not let it occur.  However, I do not fear Friday the 13th, black cats, walking under ladders, breaking mirrors or spilling salt.  Why? Because there is no evidence that those things hurt anyone in any more proportion than any other day, color of cat, walking anywhere else, breaking or spilling anything else.  Those who believe they are dangerous are believing a superstition, meaning something that has a tradition, but no evidence, as being a bad thing.

Superstition-based Fear

Yesterday at the church we attend the Pastor asked a woman to come up to the alter and read an email she had sent him a few months prior.  The woman had written it in response to a sermon he had given. In the email she told the story of living a fear-based life. Her fear was directly connected to her overhearing a conversation when she was very young between her father and her pastor.  A man in the church who had voiced his disagreement with the Pastor’s direction for the congregation had been in a terrible automobile accident. He was mortally injured but suffered greatly before he actually died.  The pastor was overheard by the young woman telling her father that it was probably a good thing that he had died, and it was also a good thing he had suffered before his death because it indicated he was being punished for being outside the will of God.  This led the young girl to live her entire life with that fear of God punishing and hurting her or others if she did not obey exactly what the church told her to do and be.  She had written the email to our church’s pastor to let him know how liberating it was to hear him rebut that idea and instead replace it with a vision of God being loving and caring and not out to crush and hurt her or others over theological or any other differences.  

This is a perfect example of the acronym of fear.  She was captive to False Evidence Appearing Real because she listened to an authority whom she trusted and she wasn’t old enough to understand cause and effect, science, biology, and other evidence-based areas of life that argue against that vicious, superstitious and self-serving way of seeing the events in life.

What do you fear?

Is there good evidence that makes the fear valid?

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Drawing by Marty Coleman

Quote by Neale Donald Walsch, American Author of a book series, ‘Conversations with God’.

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Artists I Love – Roger Brown – Winter Weekend Series

 

Hey Everyone, it’s wintertime again and that means I am going to restart my ‘Artist’s I Love’ Series.  I will do an artist each weekend or so for a while. Let me know if you have a favorite artist, it might jog my memory and I’ll want to include them too!

If you want to see last year’s series, check it out under  ‘Artist’s I Love‘.

 

roger brown cover

Roger Brown Exhibition – 1981 – Catalog cover

First up for this year is Roger Brown.  I first saw his work while I was a student in Graduate School at San Jose State University. I don’t remember the exact circumstances but I saw a show of his work and it blew me away.  He combines humor, social commentary, great painting (and other media) techniques, fantastic color and spot on compositions.  He is inventive, creative, always moving forward in exploring the possibilities of art.

I got this catalog from a Roger Brown exhibition that I did NOT attend. I was at a museum that had a few pieces of his and saw this catalog in the museum bookstore and had to have it. It’s been opened a LOT since I got it 30+ years ago, as you can tell by what shape it is in. He’s been one of my favorite artists ever since.

The Entry of Christ into Chicago in 1976 – Roger Brown

This image might be his most famous piece and it’s indicative of his imagery, high contrast and stylized into flattened patterns with repetitive elements. The subject matter is both contemporary and historical, which is also typical of many of his images. But there is a decided anti-religious feel to the piece, as if it is a tacky city-sponsored event.

talk show

‘Talk Show’ – Roger Brown

He frequently uses suburban scenes, most often with the banality of that world appearing to be the message. At the same time he uses it so much that I have always go the feeling that he knows and actually has affection for that world, even while leveling a sort of frustrated critique on it.

‘Devil’s Surprise’ – Roger Brown

‘Jim and Tammy Show’ – Roger Brown

As is obvious, he has no love lost for organized religion in this painting. The surprise that the churchgoers are the ones in hell probably has a lot to do with his being from the south and having been raised with that baptist fundamentalism all around him. His tacky, paperdoll cut out view of Jim and Tammy Bakker, preachers who fell from grace in the 90s, also give that message.

‘Post Modern Res Erection’ – Roger Brown

He has also played around (pun intended) with making light of America’s sexual obsessions, which isn’t unrelated to our religious ones.

‘Family Tree Mourning’ – Roger Brown

His social commentary wasn’t restricted to just two of the taboo dinner subjects, religion and sex, he dealt with the third as well, politics. Here he connects all our wars up until that time into a gigantic national family tree. He obviously felt that war had come out of and had overwhelmed the goodness of our founding.

He did a number of fine art prints and in this case made sure the viewer knew it was a print by saying so right on it. I like that cheekiness.

‘Twin Towers’ – Roger Brown – 1977

Brown delved into 3D work in his later career while not actually straying very far from his thematic and visual focus. This is obviously done much closer to the construction of the World Trade Center than it’s destruction, but it has a very moving feel to it, with the emphasis on the silhouettes in each window busy doing their work.

Here are just a few more I think are of interest.

‘Crater’ – Roger Brown

“City Expanding’ – Roger Brown

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If you like his work you can read more about him at:

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Fall/Winter 2016

Winter/Spring 2015

Summer 2014

Winter 2012/2013

Winter 2011/2012

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