by Marty Coleman | Nov 30, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Jacque Dellile |
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Xenophobia
One of the reasons people are xenophobic (fear of foreigners, people of other cultures) is because they only have friends who are exactly like them. Maybe they are the same color, maybe the same economic status, maybe from the same town or city, maybe the same religion, maybe the same age or the same gender. They may look a little different on the outside, one is bald, one like bright clothes, etc. But in truth, their friends are actually just themselves in other bodies. People who are outside this homogenous group are the ‘other’ and since you don’t know them and they seem so different, they are feared. This can easily be the case with the refugee or immigrant, the person from the north side of the city, the person who speaks another language, the retiree, the person from another religion.
Periscope
The question is, how do you get to be friends with those people? Astonishingly, one of the best ways is online. You can find everyone online, and if you join groups, chances are the group will have all sorts of people. Get to know them.
One of my favorite things about doing live streaming on Periscope app is I never know who is going to come into my broadcast. Sometimes it’s a dreadlocked African-American from Chicago, next moment it’s a Putin-loving person from Russia. Then in comes an Australian housewife living in Germany, a Latina actress from LA, a stay at home dad from St. Louis, a single mom from Paris with a bi-racial son, a teenager from Spain, a hardworking artist from Philadelphia, a famous blogger from the UK, an intellectual from Hawaii, a Native American from Oklahoma. They may be online, but they are all my friends and I get to know them and do my best to understand them.
Of course that is not the only way to know people different than you are. Joining an interest group in your town might be a way to do that. Volunteering for a cause could work as well. There are many ways, but it takes a decided effort in many cases to make it happen.
Knowing
The point is, we live in a diverse world. It’s more interesting and fun to embrace it. It is healthier to embrace it as well. Because when you have friends who really ARE different than you, then you will come to see them as multi-faceted people, just like you are. And that in turn will allow you to think about all other religions, races, ages, genders, orientations, etc. with the sensitivity that comes from seeing them as real people, just like your friends.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Jacque Delille, 1738-1813, French writer and poet
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 26, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman |
The Blue Woman and the Red Bird
One day the blue woman was walking to the edge of the volcano so she could jump in and kill herself. On the way she came across a red bird standing on a dead branch near the trail she was on. The red bird started talking to the blue woman and what she said made her cry. They weren’t tears of sadness but tears of joy because what the red bird said was that she was lonely being the only red bird in the area and wanted someone to talk to who would understand her. She saw the blue woman walking by and since she had never seen a blue woman before she figured she had to feel pretty lonely as well. She was right. The blue woman felt very lonely. But thanks to the red bird noticing her and saying something she didn’t feel that way anymore. The red bird and the blue woman became great friends and accompanied each other everywhere together until the end of their days. And they were never lonely again.
The End
Drawing and story © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 24, 2016 | Thanksgiving, W. T. Purkiser |
Sharing Your Blessings
I hear ‘I am so blessed’ often here in the bible belt. I say it myself sometimes. I say it to others when I hear them talk of something good happening. But until I read this quote I had never put blessing and thanksgiving together like this.
Of course at Thanksgiving you bless the meal. But do we think about how each person’s individual blessing has contributed to the meal? Did we consider Uncle Bob’s amazing ability to impart joy to the kids by playing with them is his blessing he is sharing? What about sister Eleanor who has spent a lifetime cooking the best damn pecan pie in the world? She didn’t hide her abilities, she shared them. And what about that young precocious son of your brother, who is funny and sharp as a knife with his wit? He probably doesn’t know it yet but he is sharing that which has been given to him.
Even more importantly, once we step away from the Thanksgiving meal, do we share our blessings with the wider world? I hope we do. Because the truth is if you really want to show your thankfulness for the blessings you have been given, whether by God, the universe, genetics, the capitalist system, wherever you believe they came from, then there is only one way to show it and that is to share it, right?
Lets share our blessings in love. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by W. T. Purkiser, 1910-1992, American Preacher
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 23, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Mme de Staël, Talleyrand |
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Being God
You know what is great? To have a friend who will fish you out of the water when you fall in. That is great. But what is not great is if they threw you in the water in the first place.
Have you ever had a friend like that? I call this the God Complex. They thrive when they are helping someone but to do so they need to get that person in danger first. So they set up a scenario where they nurture drama in a person’s life, maybe by encouraging them to date someone they know is not right for them, or maybe to take a job they are not suited for. It could be anything. All that matters is that they work it so they are able to come to the rescue and seem to be the hero or shero.
My Hero Fantasy
I have known one or two in my time. And even though the quote refers to a woman (Mme De Stael), I have noticed it just as much, if not more, in men. I think this might be because men grow up told it’s the highest accomplishment to be a hero. I remember in Jr. High I had my first and only hero fantasy. I imagined the bus I took to school getting in a crash and me coming to the rescue of Julie, the most beautiful girl in school (in my opinion). I helped her out of the bus and took care of her as she lay on the ground. As an adult I respond as best I can to circumstances where my help is needed. But I don’t ever want to desire or cause something bad to happen just so I can do good.
Here’s the point. It’s not wrong to be a hero or shero. It’s a good thing. But it’s not if you are manipulating people and situations so that you can be one. That’s a bad thing.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Charles Maurice de Talleyrand, 1754-1838 French diplomat and politician
The quote refers to Mme. De Staël (Anne-Louise-Germaine Necker, Baronne (baroness) de Staël-Holstein), 1766-1817, French-Swiss author and politician. She is definitely worth reading about!
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 18, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Samuel Johnson |
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The New Friend
Last year there was a woman who came into our running group. She was enthusiastic, positive, friendly and caring. I thought from the first that she must have already known a number of the other runners. But no, she told me she had just moved here by herself only recently. She told me she had done it many times before and had learned that if she was to enjoy her life as a single woman in new locations she would have to make a deliberate effort to go out and meet people. She did this by joining groups, in this case our running group. And sure enough she gathered a group of good friends in short order.
The Gone Friend
Then she moved. Just like that she was gone. Now, in the social media world people aren’t really ever gone, right? So, neither is she. I read her Facebook posts from her new location and guess what she is now enjoying? She is now a hiker and a climber in the Rocky Mountains outside of Denver. And there is photo after photo of her with new friends she met in a hiking group she joined.
The True Friend
One other aspect of her appearance on the scene that I noted. She did not join our running group just to make friends, she also joined so she could be a friend. It wasn’t just her getting her friendship needs met, it was also about what she could offer others. In other words she gave as much as she got.
The Courageous Friend
Now, she is an extrovert and makes friends easy. I know not everyone is like that. But everyone still has a need for friendship and everyone still has to take responsibility for finding those friends, now matter what your personality type. If you move to a new place, get a new job, or enter a new phase of life, chances are people are not going to come out of the woodwork to befriend you. Even if they do, you have to decide to accept and contribute to that friendship.
It takes some courage to go out and make friends, but the results are worth the challenge.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by me, adapted from one by Samuel Johnson
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 15, 2016 | Marty Coleman, Sketchbook History Tour |
I’ve been drawing in sketchbooks for many decades now. I sometimes go back and revisit older books just to see what I did or to show others. Recently I did this with a series of sketchbooks from 2000 on. I discovered a number of drawings I wanted to work on more, mostly in coloring and shading. Here are 4 drawings from this endeavor.
If you know my recent work you know I often write short stories to accompany my drawings. In these drawings though the stories or observations were written directly on the page. I specifically went for stream of consciousness oriented narratives with long run-on sentences that imitated the way I actually experienced and thought about the moment.
HOOPS
‘Hoops’ 2003-2016
The classy student studying with the grey eyeshadow and glimmery lips while her boyfriend who looks young and too young for her reads a magazine with three bug bits on his ankle in a row looking like a constellation and she uses a blue and red pen & huge hoop earrings, the biggest i’ve ever seen with her left hand and very small delicate fingers with no polish in Norman, Oklahoma on a summer’s night that threatens to rain while the two girls behind her wear red Sooner shirts and read & talk about the young star who is too thin and I draw instead of read the manual on the class I am here for while I catch a bright pink purse pass by a tall guy sitting with yellow.
VEINS
‘Veins’ 2003-2016
The tall thin woman at Panera with great veins reading her bible and taking notes and eating a bagel and ignoring that I am drawing her while she drinks coffee and contemplates divorce on a hot summer morning in Tulsa.
SPLOTCHY
‘Splotchy’ 2003-2016
The woman looked like she had been crying; splotchy skin, red eyes & nose but she had not.
RUBY LIPGLOSS
‘Ruby Lipgloss’ 2004-2016
The woman with the ruby lip gloss and zig zag parted hair looking at the person in the door and wondering if he noticed her perfume when he passed as she made a call to her boyfriend to ask if he picked up mascara for her.
Drawings and stories © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 11, 2016 | Series |
44% of the electorate did not vote in the Presidential election of 2016. That is over 90 million people who were eligible to vote but didn’t. The percentage was even higher in the primaries.
I believe as Dwight Eisenhower did: “Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen who would protect the rights and privileges of free people and who would preserve what is good and fruitful in our national heritage.” This includes voting down ballot, off year, primaries, bond and education issues, etc. They all matter.
Remember, it doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because we vote.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote is mine. It is a variation on one by Charles de Montesquieu
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 9, 2016 | Democracy, Marty Coleman |
My father and my mother taught me a very important thing about electing our President.
That is always, no matter if your side wins or loses, hope the best. Hope that the new President is better than what you think he is. Hope that the actions aren’t as severe as his rhetoric has been. Hope that the gravity of the office will infuse this person with a conscience you don’t believe he possesses. Hope that our system of government, with its checks and balances, will wear down the rough edges so people aren’t hurt by his actions and words.
I hope these things, not because I am naive, but because I believe it’s the best way for me personally to move forward as a citizen of the United States.
What do you think?
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 8, 2016 | Series |
It’s Simple
This is simple enough, right? We had a revolution unlike any in the history of the world so we could have control over our own government and those who do the governing. It’s never been perfect but its always been arching towards a more inclusive and complete democracy. This 240 year old truth has been rare in the ongoing world of greedy autocrats and dictators.
We have a system that allows us to peacefully choose our leaders. Don’t take it for granted, no matter what your political inclination. It doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because we vote.
Make no excuses, get out and vote.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote is mine, an adaption of one by Walter H. Judd
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 5, 2016 | Illustrated Short Stories |
Two Women Talking – A Short Short Story
Chapter One
The woman with more hair who could do flamenco curls on her jaw if she wanted talking hesitantly to the friend with the thin eyes and arched eyebrows and lower lip that jutted out who was judging her friend’s mascara as too thick and dark (but I liked it) about why her boyfriend won’t commit and not knowing what to do and how she wakes up at night sure that someone is breaking in and she wonders if she should get a boob job to be more sexy for him and if that would help and her friend said maybe.
The End
Note: original ink drawing was done in 2004. Color added in 2016.
Drawing and Story © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 4, 2016 | Promises Promises - 2014-16 |
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Surgery
Today I am going to have surgery to remove a nasty bone spur on my left heel. It’s affecting my Achilles tendon to the point where it’s not just painful to run but is painful all the time. The surgery is major and I will be in a cast for a month and then an extensive period of rehab before I can run again. How long? it depends but 4-6 months is the estimate I have heard.
Hippocratic Oath
Why am I telling you this? Because it’s all about promises and performance. The Dr. promised to do the surgery as best he can when he took his Hippocratic Oath upon graduating from medical school. The nurses did the same when they took their oath and the hospital staff all promise to do their best when they get hired. They all promise.
But none of those promises matter if they don’t deliver in their performance. If the Dr. does the surgery wrong, if I get the wrong procedure done, the wrong amount of drugs, or have bad aftercare, then those promises weren’t worth very much.
My Promise
This is an outpatient procedure. I am in their hands for maybe 6-8 hours. Then I am going home. Of course I will be dependent on Linda, my wife, to fulfill her promise of help. But I when it comes to rehab I will primarily be depending on one and only one person to fulfill their promise, and that is me.
I can promise all my friends, family and all my fellow runners, those I coach and those who coach alongside me this: I promise to do what my physical therapist says. I promise to follow my Dr’s orders. I promise to not take too many drugs (or not enough, depending). I promise.
My Performance
But my promises won’t heal me. They won’t build my muscles. They won’t get me back to running. My performance will. So, I can think about it all I want. I can persuade and convince whoever will listen. But, in the end a promise is only something you depend on in advance of something. The performance is what you depend on in the middle of something. I have to perform to get better. Do I think I can do it? You bet. But have I done it yet? No, I have not.
Your Promise
So, promise you will keep a watch on me. Promise to encourage me if you think I need it. Promise to kick my butt if you think I need that. But mostly promise to bring by cookies if you decide that is a critical necessity.
I promise I will eat them (slowly)!
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by James Howell, 1594-1666, Angl0-Welsh writer
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 2, 2016 | George Santayana, Promises Promises - 2014-16 |
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The Orange Promise
The Orange Man promises. The Orange Man knows promising things is easy. He promises to pay people and they believe him. He promises to build things like walls and people believe him. He promises he can fix things for people and they believe him. He promises to make things great and people believe him.
The Orange Promise
The Orange Man doesn’t care about what happens after the promise is made. He doesn’t care because he knows how to blame other people for him breaking promises. He is very good at both breaking promises and blaming others for the breaking. He is good at it because he believes it. He believes nothing is his fault. He believes he has never done anything wrong. He believes he always knows what is right to do, even when he doesn’t know anything about the topic he is dealing with.
The Orange Brain
The Orange Man knows this because he has a good brain. He knows this because he thinks smart things. He knows he doesn’t need to study anything because he is so smart. He knows he doesn’t have to listen to others’ ideas about things because he is smarter than they are. He knows this because he has good DNA. He knows he was born smart, as well as good looking.
The Orange Attraction
The Orange Man knows women find him attractive. He knows they can’t keep their hands off of him because he is the most famous orange man in the world. He knows it is his right to do whatever he wants to whatever woman he wants because he is so smart and so good looking and so rich and so famous. He knows this because he does it and he doesn’t get in trouble.
The Orange Matters
The Orange Man knows he is the only person who matters in the world. He knows this because the only person who matters in the world told him so.
The End
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by George Santayana, 1863-1952, Spanish born Philosopher, Essayist and Poet
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