A vintage napkin from 2004.
Intolerant idealism is the sin of both the extreme left and the extreme right.
Our Associate Pastor gave a sermon titled ‘Are You Expecting’ about advent and the season of expecting the divine to arrive.
She talked about her mother choosing to always love her in spite of some very unexpected directions she took in life. She used that as an example of how to have expectations but also keep a loose hold on them, since you can never be in control of enough of live to be assured of one particular outcome.
She closed her sermon with the announcement that she is expecting, she is pregnant. She then gestured for her partner, Jill, to stand so people would know who she is.
I don’t know what her mother’s religion or belief system was or is. But if she was like most parents it likely came as a surprise to know her daughter was lesbian. If you are a parent it would probably turn a couple of your beliefs upside down. But what would you do? Would you condemn, thinking that the condemnation is the only way to remain true to your beliefs, or would you accept and embrace, finding a way to be true to your beliefs while still showing love to them?
I can tell you this, if you chose the intolerant idealism route you would lose your daughter. You would have your self-righteousness intact, but you would not have her with you. You wouldn’t have that granddaughter. You wouldn’t have those birthdays and holidays and events with them. And for what? For an idealism that you disproved with your actions. That is a good definition of folly to be sure.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism.” – Winston Churchill
>Small world, isn’t it! That is very cool. I am glad you took the opportunity to make a ‘teachable moment’ out of it. That is what Jesus would do. Would you be willing to post this same comment under the napkin on the blog?
When my daughters were young my sister-in-law came out as a lesbian, along with her long-time partner. After a while I had a conversation with my wife (her sister) about it and said I wanted to have a conversation with our daughters before they asked questions. Before I did that though I wanted to sit down with her sister and partner and ask them what they would like us to say to our daughters. I made sure everyone understood that by me asking that question I wasn’t saying I would agree to say the same thing. Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn’t. But I did want to hear how they would explain their relationship.
We had a good conversation about it all, and in the end there was one very simple thing she said that I took with me. I did end up using the same point when we explained the relationship to our daughters. What she said was this: ‘It is never wrong to love someone’. Now, of course, we all know we are not talking about coercive, damaging manipulations under the pretend heading of ‘love’. We are talking about people who are taking the full measure of it into consideration and have found that love to be with another adult. I have come to agree with that. I don’t care what sex they are, the same or different. I don’t care what age they are, the same or different (above the legal age obviously). I don’t care what race they are, the same or different. I only care that they are sincerely and honestly loving and caring as best they can. That is what matters, nothing else. At least to me.
By the way, The Napkin Dad now has a fan page on Facebook if you want to connect there or if you want to direct others there.
>Marty: Great message today.
My middle son and father-in-law out for breakfast yesterday morning (because I didn't feel well and didn't get up to take the kids to church) decided to try All Souls and my son called me afterwards to tell me about the sermon. He was a little confused and I explained to him that their associate pastor is a lesbian. He said he thought that was the case, as she kept referring to her spouse as "Jill." It presented a wonderful opportunity for me to explain to him the importance of remaining "non judgemental" in this situation. Being raised in the Church of Christ (which I think I've told you about), my first inclination was to criticize, but I stopped myself and told him that even though we do not always agree with certain choices or life styles, that God and only God is the person to judge those choices/lifestyles and the important thing is for us to walk in love regardless of those choices/lifestyles. I was thankful for the opportunity and hope that I presented it correct to him. Funny, that your message today is the same.
I hope you have a blessed day and a very Merry Christmas!
By the way, I had gotten a little behind on my "Napkin" reading, but just got caught up. I absolutely love the one about your "unfather-in-law."
Shelli Hassell