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The Napkin Kin
I do a lot of live streaming video. I have a regular group that views and contributes. They are called the Napkin Kin. New people come in every day as well. Many of them become part of the group. But there is a particular brand of person who comes in to the broadcasts who never become part of the group. Who are they? They are the ones who demand I connect with them immediately. They tell me to follow them on Instagram and on Snapchat and on Facebook and on whatever other social media site they can think of. The insistently demand I go take a look at their portfolio or pictures or stories and get back to them. They also might be the type who wants to know my opinion on something like the recent election.
Self, Self, Self
I am immediately put off by these people. I will be nice to them but if they continue I call them out.
I speak directly to them and say, “You haven’t taken one second to get to know me or the others in this broadcast. You haven’t contributed to the conversation. You haven’t asked questions or listened to what is being said. You have no idea who we are or what we are about and yet you want me, and the rest of the group, to immediately drop what we are doing and go look at your sites. You want us to be your friend and yet you haven’t done anything to warrant us wanting to be that for you. Let’s start over. You come in again and pay attention. Find out what is going on in this broadcast, introduce yourself, and in general get to know us. Then, as that is happening, we will naturally get to know you as well. It won’t take long since we are a friendly and curious bunch.”
And that little speech actually works sometimes.
Mutual, I’m Sure
And isn’t that true in our in-person lives as well? I certainly am wary of someone who befriends me just for the purpose of getting something from me or wanting some attention from me. But, as just happened this morning while I was writing this, if someone I already know comes to me requesting a favor or asking a question, I am enthusiastic about helping them out. I am not talking about helping a stranger. I am talking about investing in someone who is obviously only pursuing the friendship for their own gain.
Building mutual care and concern is how friendships grow, not by sucking a virtual stranger’s attention for selfish ends.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Ethel Barrymore, 1879-1959, American Actress