Early on in life, when our opinions and ideas about things are not yet fully formed, and we might be parroting our parents or teachers or friends, we often raise our voices to express our opinion in inverse proportion to how comfortable we are with them. It’s as if we are trying them out to see how they fit but don’t want to admit it so we flaunt them with the assuredness only available to the young.
As we age we hopefully start to realize a few things. First, we don’t have to always prove ourselves. Second, we don’t have to change our mind to fit someone else’s opinion just because we listen to them, and third, we can still love those we disagree with.
I had a conversation recently with someone who said ‘people never change’. By that she meant, their base personality doesn’t change, and I, for the most part, agree with that. But I also feel like experience and wisdom and circumstances and habits can all modify, contract or expand one’s personality in new and better directions…IF one is deliberate about facing one’s self, willing to learn and grow and become more of their best self.
Then they will be comfortable in their own skin.
Speaking of, I forgot to mention which Super Bowl ad was my favorite. There were a few, but the one I liked best was the Dove Men + Care commercial that showed a furious montage of a man’s life from birth until his daughters are grown up. Then it cuts to him smiling serenely while laying on the grass. He is comfortable in his own skin is the idea.
Of course, Dove is advertising the reality that while a man might be comfortable in his metaphorical skin of life, his actual skin might need some help.
I thought the commercial was spot on for men about my age, and who knows, maybe the products are too. I will report back, ok?
I know some will say God is the exception here, but look at the understanding of who God is over the centuries, what he is made out of, how he/she acts and interacts and his reason for existing and you will see that he/she has changed as well.
This is a wonderful, hopeful statement for many. But for others it fills them with fear. Fear of change, fear of fluidity. I can’t stop that fear in you if you have it. But I can ask you to look at the evidence from your own past about what change has brought to you. Has it been as terrible as you envisioned beforehand? Did the imagined disaster actually take place? Go by the actual evidence and you will see, change is not only inevitable, but it is usually
good.
The key is to be aware in the present about what is available for you to love, to be excited about, to be hopeful about. Whether it is an empty nest or a newly discovered bird’s nest in your favorite backyard tree. There is beauty and wonder that awaits you.
“The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.” – John F. Kennedy, 32nd President of the USA, 1917-1963
“I look forward to an America which will not be afraid of grace and beauty.” – J.F.K.
Not only do I agree in this hope, I also hope that people will find that it is not shallow and is not trite. That the value of one’s life goes up when you are deliberate about these things. That you work to understand and develop art and dance and singing and appreciation of beauty in the myriad ways it can be experienced.
Grace is a manifestation of manners and of concern. You draw attention away from yourself, you don’t overreact, you don’t fly off the handle. You assume the best of people and, while not quite ignoring the worst, at least you downplay it and don’t feed it with your own reaction.
