I am currently reading a Turkish book (English translation) ‘The Long White Cloud’ sent to me by a flickr and blog friend, Senay, from Istanbul. It is the story of the Battle of Gallipoli, where 130,000 young men died.
It has many letters from the two main soldiers on either side of the conflict. They are filled with small remembrances of home, anecdotes of the front, admiration for their fellow soldiers and respect for their enemy. there is more anger at the incompetence of their own leaders than hatred for the enemy.
How similar are the millions of letters sent home over the centuries from soldiers. They don’t talk about wanting to kill. They talk about appreciation for the love of their family, the love of their community. They want life to be normal again. The romance is a myth, the glory disappears as their friends die and they are left with a terrible mission. They must kill people. A lot of people.
Remembering who died is important. Remembering what it is we made them do in our name is important. We are making them kill people. Even if it is a valid war, we always must remember we are asking our children to kill people, and often not the right people.
Call it an paradox, an oxymoron, or just a complete absurdity. Whatever you call it warfare is not civilized.
It’s Memorial Day weekend here in the USA and I have deep admiration and humility when I consider the living, heart beating souls who found they had to fight for their lives and ended up perishing in that fight. I have equally great feelings for those who fought and returned damaged and changed. I am sorry that had to happen to you. I hope you find the positive out of such a terrible negative. I hope your family can as well.
That is the better paradox to consider. Is it possible to find the good in the brain damage? Is it possible to find value in the lost leg? Is it possible your calling in life was found when your spine was severed? I don’t know. But I do know that paradox happens everyday in life. The person stuck sick in bed for months watching movies realizes that is her greatest desire and goes to Hollywood to fulfill it. The man who lost his hearing only to find he now leads a great university because of how hard he worked to overcome that deafness.
A memorial is something of substance that reminds us of something great. Humans are made of the best substance.
I love this quote because it is so absurd as to be ridiculous. But not if you look into genetics and biology. Those who study in those areas will tell you that 1, many ridiculous ideas have turned out to be true, and 2, this idea isn’t so ridiculous.
The key to us not believing it is rooted in our arrogance of consciousness. We think because we are conscious we are the deciders (to quote a famous unpresident). What we don’t easily recognize is the genetic desire of smaller particles, less developed ‘us’ to want to survive, to want to exist and to want to propagate.
How does this apply to our daily life? After all, it isn’t something we have much control over, right? Right, we don’t. But we do have a lot of control over our consciousness. We can expand it to understand more of the forces working in and around us. It won’t explain it all, it won’t tell us all the details. But it will enlarge our awareness of how humanity, the earth and the universe works.
So, in the end, this is a simple plea to not be afraid of science, to not be afraid of learning more than you now know. You don’t need to worry about whether you are smart enough to get a Ph.D. All you have to do is read an article on something, watch a TV show about something.
Ignorance is not bliss, it is danger.
“A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.” – Samuel Butler
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If you are a twit, you can follow me on twitter at The Napkin Dad
“Snobbery is the pride of those who are not sure of their position.” – Berton Braley
Do you remember back in Jr. High and High School there were those quiet types who we thought were snobbish, then at some point in time we had some conversation, maybe helped along by mind altering substances (terrible, bad, deathly, don’t do it offspring) and you found out they weren’t snobbish at all, but were terribly shy and self-conscious, insecure about how to talk to people? Well, I am not talking about those people.
I am talking about those who use that as an excuse, but who actually do think they are better than others, who do judge incessantly and negatively towards those around them. Who do feel the need to live apart from the ‘rabble’. Those people make me crazy. I know they are insecure and unsure about themselves. I know they are afraid they will be found out as ‘less than’ others, not as smart, not as funny, not as wonderful. I know they can be understood and seen as vulnerable.
But sometimes I just want to schmack them upside the head and tell them the truth. The truth is the further they remove themselves out of pride from others the less the are, not the more. The more they judge others as inferior to them the more likely they are to experience it themselves. I want to ask how they could not know that the harder they try to be ‘up’ using the snob technique the farther ‘down’ they are morally, socially and ethically.
Being ‘better’ than others by being a snob is a useless endeavor. Why not instead come down from the tightrope and say ‘Hey friends, why don’t we all be better together?’
It’s Geographic Thursday! Those are just 8 of the 220 cities that have checked out a napkin or two this month.
Linkoping, Sweden Pune, India Bakoor, Philippines West Hollywood, California Sorocaba, Brazil Zaragoza, Spain Perm, Russia Kamloops, Canada
“Success is going from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
Churchill understood that what is seared in our memory, what we remember when contemplating a new endeavor, is not our prior successes, but our failures. We can even look back on past successes and say ‘Who accomplished that? It couldn’t have been me, I don’t know how to do that!’
Then you remember that you did do it and you can do it again, but not before having to traipse through a mind field of doubt IN SPITE of evidence to the contrary. It is our perceived failures that are out to kill enthusiasm and we must be defensive in protecting it. We do that by being realistic. By looking at what we REALLY are capable of.
We all know that there are some people who don’t have this problem. They are overconfident and have an ungrounded enthusiasm that can be very dangerous to become entangled in. Avoid those people.
But my experience has shown me that many more people are in the self-doubting camp and need encouragement to look at themselves honestly and see that they are MORE capable than their self-judgment is telling them.
“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” – Abraham Lincoln
To do that I must be willing to see an enemy’s value, their worth and goodness. That isn’t easy when I have invested time and energy into finding reasons to not like the person. It means having to evaluate the reasons, giving up the invalid AND the valid reasons. It is akin to forgiveness in many ways. It’s something to always aspire towards, to consciously work at, not just hope for.
“It’s great to be over the hill. That is where you can pick up some speed.” – anonymous
I like this quote a lot. It reminds me of that reality TV show where the contestants had to carryall this weight from station to station. At each station they got to off-load a certain amount of weight. By the end it was just them, no extra baggage, and they were able to go very fast and free to the finish line.
Dropping off baggage, physical, emotional and psychological, is really helpful if you want to pick up a head of steam and move forward, no matter how old you are!
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” – Katherine Hepburn, American actress
Yesterday I spent almost the entire day at two different arts festivals about 3 blocks from each other in downtown Tulsa. The morning was spent at the Blue Dome, a locally organized festival with local artists. The afternoon was spent at Mayfest, Tulsa’s premier outdoor arts festival bringing in artisans from around the country.
Going to an arts festival is sort of like searching for the needle in the haystack. You are looking for the one bright shiny idea in a sea of sameness. It’s always worth going just to have the pleasure of seeing
the artist or the person walking the festival who stands out because they are having fun. The pink shoes, the original idea, the little bird they carry with them or the weiner dog with the goggles. There is fun in
their hearts because they respond to what gives them joy instead of what constrains them.
“It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.” – Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States.
One of the big problems the USA has, I think, is the harsh judgment of public figures’ vices without any balance between that and their virtues. The closet homosexual, the one who drinks to much, the gambler, the pantieless partier; we all have our vices. If those vices are doing damage to themselves or others then dealing with them is important. But just havingsome behavior you don’t like or find distasteful doesn’t mean you ignore or throw out the virtues that same person has.
I think we in the USA tend to feel that allowing something means weare approving of it. And that is not the case. We allow it because it is none of our business and isn’t hurting us or anyone else, even if we don’t like it. We can disapprove of it for ourselves, but we are in a country dedicated to individual liberty and if someone wants to gamble or not wear panties or spend money on silly things, then it’s their decision, not ours, and it doesn’t mean they are without virtue.
By the way, when I put ‘closet homosexual’ in the list, I am not saying homosexuality is a vice. I am saying that there are some people, including some who participate in it, who think it is and they act secretly because of it.
“Every parent is at some time the father of the unreturned prodigal with nothing to be done but keep his house open to hope.” – John Ciardi
I am one of those parents and I know many others. It isn’t always a sad thing, not always an argument or drama that has led to the child being away and uncommunicative. Sometimes it is that child inventing themselves, and the only way they know how to do it is on their own. Maybe it isn’t that the parent is too controlling or overbearing. Maybe it is that the child is too weak, too easily led and they know it. They are being courageous in stepping away. The child in them wants to stay with their parents, they want the protection and love. But they know they won’t find their own strength inside that home, they must venture out and find it where they will.
It isn’t easy for a parent to watch this. They want to protect, they want to guide, they want to participate. And they want to be loved. But to get the true love of an adult child coming back to you after their prodigal journey might just be worth it because you will have a truly unique and real person in your life, one you helped create not only by protecting and raising, but by letting go as well.
I don’t mean to downplay the trauma and hurt and fear that can accompany a child’s departure. I have had that in my life and it is hard. But one can have hope if they choose. Maybe a blind hope, maybe a well reasoned one, but hope nonetheless.
Many thanks to all who came to my opening last night. And special thanks to those who bought the 5 pieces. If you are interested in seeing which ones are still available, go to my website and the ones that are sold will be obvious. Absorbent Ideas Exhibition Don’t delay, buy the one you want!
An even greater thanks to my wonderful family! Linda, who made such yummy goodies, Chelsea for doing the same and playing guitar and singing, and Caitlin, who did heavy lifting and table organizing for me.
