“If a friend is in trouble don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.” – Edward Watson Howe
Think of how many times you have been called when you have said ‘If there is anything I can do, just call’. Probably never. But there is always something to do. It may not be material; you may not bake a cake or casserole. It may simply be making your friend smile with a card on their windshield while they are at work (make sure it isn’t going to rain). It might be tending to their garden or mowing their lawn. It might be calling friends or doing updates for them on facebook or twitter to let their friends know what is going on.
“No matter how happily a woman is married it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not.” – H. L. Mencken
The operative word here is ‘nice’. Nice means giving a compliment, a bit of attention, a kindness. It doesn’t mean manipulating, trying to steal affections, trying to disrupt something or trying to conquer.
How does one get common sense? While there are plenty of mysteries associated with it, one thing we know for certain. We have to teach the beginnings of it to our kids. It may seem like people should just know it, but in truth almost everything has to be learned, nothing is just intrinsically known. I know, I know, some things might be, ok, fine. But really, one of the reasons common sense is argued about is because people haven’t all been taught the same thing at the same time.
So, one of the greatest things you can do for your kids, nephews, nieces, grandkids, whoever, is to take the time to explain things that, in your mind, should be obvious, understanding that it isn’t obvious to that child. Whether it is pans that are hot, looking both ways at stop signs, or not eating yellow snow, it all needs to be explained.
“The fastest way to fill your life with things you want is to eliminate the things you don’t.” – Anonymous
It’s a simple idea, but I really haven’t thought about it this way before (or I did and forgot I did, which happens frequently). Think of it like your closet. Get rid of the clothes you don’t like and what do you have left?
I think for me, I have to start at the extremes to be successful. What am I SURE I don’t want in my life? Hatred, racism, sexism, intolerance, ugly furniture, tripe pasta, stuff like that I KNOW I don’t want and I get rid of it as best I can.
Start with one thing, one thing you DON’T want in your life. Maybe it is alcohol, maybe it is a backyard tiki lamp, maybe it is a person. It doesn’t really matter, jettison it, maybe just for a day, a week. See what happens. Likely you will find you have more of what you want and less of what you don’t!
“Whenever I am caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.” – Mae West
Ok, for any of you that were born without humor DNA she is NOT talking about REAL evil, like murder, abuse, addiction, etc. Good, got that out of the way.
But for the other ‘evils’, the fun and non-destructive ones, there is something to be said for being open to new things, whether it is a new decadent chocolate candy bar or a new idea for you and your partner to have fun with. In other words, don’t get in a rut with your indulgences, branch out, have fun!
The quote is by Mae West, a movie star from the 1920s and 30s. Those of you too young to know who she is, think of the biggest celebrity now and add a very saucy, sexy, funny, witty and bold personality to that person, and you would have Mae West. Oh, and add a very curvaceous figure as well. She was the queen of one liners with outrageous sexual innuendo, and she was very funny. Look her up some day, she will make you crack up.
“The best brought-up children are those who have seen their parents as they are. Hypocrisy is not the parent’s first duty.” – George Bernard Shaw
This is an important one. All you have to do is think back to your own childhood and remember how easily you could sense falseness and fakery in your parents. You could tell when they were being hypocritical, you could tell when they were trying to show the world this person you knew they were not. You may not have known what the word ‘facade’ meant, but you knew it when you saw it.
If you think your children are any different you are fooling yourself. They know you very well. They see you more than any other people see you. They know when you are pretending and being hypocritical.
What are some examples of that?
Saying they shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage, but they know you are dating and having sex with someone. (by the way, if you think you are fooling them and they don’t know, you aren’t and they do.)
Giving lip service to charity and community service, but they don’t see you giving money or time to either.
Saying beauty comes from within, but they see you fret incessantly about your looks and how you appear to others. and they see you judge others harshly on their outside appearances.
I mention those because I have been guilty in all those areas, but there are plenty of others we all can relate to. The point isn’t to be the perfect person, the point is to be a real person. I am not suggesting you expose all your adult secrets to a child. I am suggesting that you speak and live consistently for them.
“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” – Rollo May
I have had many friends and loved ones become depressed over the years. I have seen drugs help, I have seen a change of relationships or scenery help, I have seen a recommitment to helping others help. Many things can help. But what all those things have in common is that underneath them is a little flame of ‘futurethink’. A little glimmer, a glow, that I might have a reason to be, a reason to get up, a reason to care, that is what they, me, you, anyone needs.
So, if you are depressed today, whether clinically, severely, or just in a funk, remember that if you are alive, you have hope, if you are not, you don’t.
“He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.” – Joseph Joubert, submitted by Michael Jamison, Thanks Michael!
The quote is trying to caution against imagination without learning, but I have seen many a time when a formal education results in a person having less unique imagination and creativity. They become all feet and no wings.
