“Schooling is what happens in school. Education is what happens everywhere.” – Sara Lightfoot
When our daughters were young we made the choice to homeschool them. We did it for 3 years. The youngest was pre-kindergarten when we started and the oldest had finished 5th grade when we ended.
A number of great things came from those 3 years, but the one that is appropo to this idea is that from those years forward the home was never NOT a place of education. They didn’t have that split between a physical building called school where you learned, and home where you just did everything else. Home was just as much a place to learn as school, even after they all went back to school.
The other element in this that is important is how you, as an adult who has finished school, continues to be an example of getting an education for those around you, whether your children or someone else at work, church, a club, etc.
You do that by knowing what you love and finding out more about it. You don’t have to study things you don’t like, you don’t have to take a course in some dry topic. But if you like woodworking, then study it. If you liked science in college, then continue to explore it. There are great books, lecture series, TV shows, and more that will keep you informed and help you continue to grow and learn in the world.
Here is a list of some great books that will stimulate your mind and have you looking for more!
Proust was a Neuroscientist – Jonah Lehrer – How artists predicted discoveries in Neuroscience decades and centuries before the experiments and ideas came out in science.
Do You Matter – How great design will make people love your company – Brunner and Emery How design is not just about a product, it is about creating an entire emotional customer experience top to bottom.
Islam – Karen Armstrong – If you want to know the basics of this religion, and its history, this is a great one volume book.
Guns, Germs and Steel – Jared Diamond – A fantastic explanation of how societies rise and fall over the centuries, going all the way back to the hunter gatherers of 10,000 plus years ago. A VERY important book.
A Brief History of Time – The Illustrated Version – Stephen Hawking – The illustrated version is great because, you know…books are cool because sometimes they have neat pictures in them! Seriously, it’s a fantastic explanation of the universe as it has been understood in recent decades.
“Difficulty is the Excuse History Never Accepts.” – Sue Grafton
I may also add it is the excuse no art instructor worth his or her salt would ever accept either.
When I use to hear the rationale ‘but I worked really hard on it’ I would always have to throw some water on the fire with this: ‘Your work being good is not a function of it being hard to do, it is a function of it being a good idea well executed, whether it took a year, or a minute.’
People don’t like to hear that. It is natural to want some credit for doing something difficult. And you should get credit, but it is direct credit. If you do something difficult the reward is ‘I am proud of you, you did something difficult’. The reward isn’t indirect. It doesn’t guarantee that what you created with difficulty is good.
It is especially hard to have this attitude with your kids, and it is heartbreaking to see your child do something with hard work and lots of sweat, only to find they got a C or a no comment, or even a harsh critique. But if you are helping them in the best way possible you will praise their hard work, reassure them of the good that is actually in the work and start to teach them the lesson that hard work doesn’t guarantee success, but it does guarantee progress and insight.
If you do that, then their self-esteem will not be attached only to their successes but to their failures and setbacks as well. And THAT is when their self-esteem will stay with them forever.
“Beauty without graces pleases, but does not captivate, being like a hook without bait.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am not one who believes outer beauty doesn’t matter. I think if have an outside, then it matters. BUT it will NOT matter if the inside doesn’t match up or surpass the outside. For male or female, all the natural good looks, all the makeup and bronzer and days at the gym will not compensate for a lack of grace.
Grace to me is the one word explanation of inner character when relating to other people. It means you assume the best of people, you give them the benefit of the doubt, you have sincere interest in them and look for ways to help and care for them. You don’t take things too personally, even if it is meant that way. You can laugh at yourself and do that more than you laugh at others.
For beauty to be complete it needs to reside in both the inside and outside. I am not talking about a stereotyped outside beauty, I am talking about a unique and individual beauty, whether it is in the shape of a newborn or an wise elder. Neither am I talking about a cliche inner beauty. Inside there is even more room for uniqueness and individuality to bring forth beauty that no one else possesses.
That combination brings about the beauty that captivates.
“You Have To Expect That If You Cuss Out The World, The World Is Going To Cuss Back.” Andrew Young
There are a lot of books and articles lately about the laws of attraction and secrets that basically say that if you think positively then you will cosmically attract good things.
The messages tend to have a sort of new-age element about some mysterious spirit power doing this for you if you are going along with the program.
But the truth is there is no need for an unsubstantiated spirit to be in control of this phenomenon. What there is need of is to recognize a simple truth. That you get what you give.
You may say that sounds pretty ‘American’ since someone off in the slums of Rio or Mumbai can be very positive and still live in a desperately poor slum. And that is true. BUT, wherever you live, you live with yourself and you influence those around you for better or worse.
Cussing out the world is a forgivable rant sometimes, it’s hard to live a whole life without having ever done that. But what is your general attitude towards the world is the question? Is it to blame, or are you? Better yet, ask this question. Even if the world (read government, family, parents, biology, circumstance, etc) IS to blame, who is going to fix it for you?
“There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.” – Wilson Mizner
So, the question is, when is it safe or sane to let your skeleton out for a while, or forever?
The skeleton doesn’t have to be brought out as a rotting carcass either. It can be dressed up or even disguised, it doesn’t really matter. All it wants is to get a little fresh air.
Perhaps you can bring it out in the form of a poem, or a painting. Perhaps a short story. Perhaps a script or a memoir or a cartoon.
Why not just bring the skeleton out in all its grotesqueness? It is good to bring it out just as it is sometimes. But there are other times when that same skeleton resides in two or three closets and for you to bring it out of yours will force it out of theirs too. Could end up a good thing, but it could be terribly disrespectful and hurtful as well. It isn’t all about you, it is about others as well.
Take a look in your closet, be creative and respectful about how to bring your skeleton out. The more creative you are about it, the more positive the experience will be.
“There are 3 reasons for breastfeeding: The milk is the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can’t get it.” – Irena Chalmers
I saw a report recently about the actor Salma Hayak breastfeeding a child in Africa to illustrate the problem that arises from the strong pressure to not breastfeed very long in that community. The lack of nutrients, antibiotics and bonding that occur when a baby is taken off breastfeeding prematurely is bad enough in a healthy community, but when the community is in poverty and malnutrition and the lack of safe food & water is strong, then to give up the one thing that can immunize and strengthen your child is much more dire for the future health of the child.
“The will must be stronger than the skill.” – Muhammad Ali
When I was growing up my dad liked to watch boxing on TV and follow it in the newspapers. I became a big fan of Muhammed Ali after I met him in the lobby of a hotel in Chicago when I was ten years old. My sister and I hid behind a potted tree in the lobby looking at this man sitting alone on a couch in the lobby. I knew it was him and was afraid to talk to him since he beat people up for a living. We finally got up the nerve and went to ask him for his autograph. When we did he said he would give it to us ‘under one condition, that you call me Muhammed Ali’. We had asked Cassius Clay for the autograph but we left having met Muhammed Ali.
From then on I was connected to him and followed him, rooted for him, no matter what. I loved him for many reasons; for his brashness, his fun-loving nature, his fast feet and hands and his poetry (if you ever read a poem of mine you will see that I graduated from the Muhammed Ali school of poetry).
But then something far deeper and more meaningful happened than just admiring a great entertainer and athlete. He was stripped of his title in 1967 for refusing to be drafted by the Army. I didn’t understand it all but I felt it was completely unfair at the time. Three years later he was allowed to box again, but three years is like an eternity for a boxer. They just don’t come back from three years off. But he did. Not only did he come back but he was set to win back the championship by fighting Joe Frazier. He lost. Then the rematch came, only Frazier got beat by someone in the meanwhile and their fight, though monumental, proved nothing.
It wasn’t until seven years after his belt was taken from him, four years after he returned to the ring, when he was over the hill, way past his prime and facing the meanest, most hard hitting boxer that had come down the pike in a LONG time, that he had the chance to win the crown back. But he wasn’t going to win this one, he wasn’t going to beat George Foreman. He was smaller, was older, wasn’t nearly as fast or as agile as he once had been. He didn’t train as hard supposedly, couldn’t hit as hard.
I remember sitting in the pub at Brandeis University where I was a sophomore. The fight was blacked out on TV and radio but they could do radio updates at the end of each round. I was really the only one who cared in the whole place. I waited for the report every three minutes or so for round after round. It didn’t look good because Ali was just laying back on the ropes, not fighting all that much. The announcers said it was likely that one of these rounds Foreman would land a punch that would put him down, it was just a matter of time.
But that didn’t happen. As a matter of fact Foreman got tired. Ali didn’t. Ali took every punch he had to give, just let him wail away at his body until he was worn out. Then the tide turned. When Foreman could no longer get up the strength to hit hard Ali did the hitting. By round eight I was screaming with excitement as I heard that Ali had turned the corner and beat Foreman.
In the end Ali used his ‘Rope a Dope’ strategy to beat someone bigger and stronger. He won because he was smarter and he had a good plan. But don’t be fooled, he won first and foremost because his will was stronger than his skill.
Is your will stronger than your skill? If not, why not?
“Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.” – Mitch Albom
That desire for immortality, to live forever, is understandable. But the truth is you will not. You will die, as will everyone else. And if there is an afterlife, it certainly will not have much in common with life on earth. In truth, these are things we can’t know for certain one way or another.
But we do have evidence for one thing about the afterlife. The love you gave away during your life lives on. Now, it is true that it might not have your signature on it when the time comes for someone to ask ‘where’d you learn to love like that’ to your descendants. You may not get the credit you deserve. But if you can get over that little ego bruise, you can move forward in life knowing that you will live on no matter what happens to you as long as you pursue loving and accept love.
“Our opinions of people depends less upon what we see in them, than upon what they make us see in ourselves.” – Sarah Grand
This is a tough one for people to grasp. It means you have to look inward and be honest about what is in YOU instead of what is in the person you are judging.
For example, let’s say you have a low opinion of a person at your work who has noticeable tattoos all over his body. What does seeing all those tattoos bring up in yourself? I don’t mean your surface reasons for not liking them. I mean your interior anxieties that the tattooed presence brings out. What is he making you see in yourself?
Let’s say you have a high opinion of a glamorous, high society client. What does she do for you, for your ego, your dreams, your aspirations, that make you think highly of her? What is she making you see in yourself?
