Today is day 3 of my pre-Blog World self-reminders on all things network and blog.
Ok, so I am going to Blog World in a week. I am not too worried about the information I let out while I am there. I don’t drink so it’s not likely I will get drunk and say something stupid. Then again, I can say stupid things while totally sober. But I do have information to give, that is why I am speaking there. And I don’t want all of that information to get out beforehand, at least not in it’s complete form, until I am ready to present it. Some is good, but all would diminish my presentation and I don’t want that.
But for me to have a successful trip it will come down to editing my information. Not just my presentation information, but ALL my information. Is what I am talking about while I am at Blog World going to be focused or is it going to be just a big hot mess of whatever. Am I going to be on plan, on target while I am there, trying to learn and help others learn or am I going to be distracted in both my commmunication and in who and what I pay attention to? I don’t mean I will not allow serendipity and casual conversation, of course I will. but I don’t want to spend an hour talking in the expo about a digital tool I have no intention or ability to use just because they are giving away something shiny. I don’t want to forget why I am there and what my goals are.
I don’t want to be pissing into the wind.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Keith Henson, 1942-not dead yet, American electrical Engineer and founder of the L5 Society – promoting of space colonization.
In anticipation of my trip to speak at and attend Blog World LA next week I am using this time to talk to myself (and others) about what will be important for me to pay attention to while I am there.
Today is all about ‘The Plan’.
I find it hard to do all the things necessary to have a commercially successful blog. I do a lot, but it hasn’t been quite enough yet. One of my goals this year, and in particular at Blog World in LA next week, is to learn better, to learn again, the art of planning in social media and blogging. Of course to do that I need to plan it. So, I am learning how to plan by making my plan to learn how to plan. Sounds like I need help!
What tips and tricks do you have for me and my readers when it comes to planning, especially in the world of blogging, social media and conference attendance?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
The following is a correct statement: Today is Day #3 of Life Science Week
The Glory of Confusion One of the most satisfying things about studying science, even at my amateur level, is the glory of discovering how many things are contradictory truths. It doesn’t make sense that both are true, but they are. I like that, even as it confuses the bejesus out of me. I am not a big fan of confusion, but I am a big fan of that feeling of understanding that comes after it! That is why I study and/or try stuff that is really hard and confusing (ask me about php and mysql database stuff…THAT is confusing!)
The Life in Life Science I think what maturity I have came into being when I started to realize that my understanding of the world and my response to it wasn’t some absolute truth. It was my truth. It was affected by my biology, my family, my DNA, my experiences, my body, my decisions. I think that is one of the hardest things to deal with in a marriage, for example, is realizing that your spouse is not thinking about your life together exactly as you are. His or her understanding and response is completely and utterly different than yours, even if there are areas of overlap. How you cope with that truth is key to whether you will have a happy and successful marriage.
The Beginning of Maturity It is true that we all have different truths of how the world works, why it is that way, and what our response should and will be to it. Understanding that everyone’s truth is a profound truth that deserves to be understood and respected, even if it causes stress and complications in life, is the beginning of maturity.
The Better Truth After all, how can any of us move into a better, more accurate understanding, a better truth so to speak, unless we can acknowledge the truth we already are living.
For the life of me I can’t believe it’s only day #2 of Life Science Week at the NDD.
I had a conversation once with a friend once where we were talking about what we believed. We asked each other questions and some of my answers were, “I don’t know.” and some were “This I believe.” His answers were all, “I don’t know.” He was unwilling or unable to state, “This I believe.” about anything. In his mind the declarative statement was one he couldn’t step back from once it was made. He didn’t want that restriction on him. The conversation was frustrating for me as a result. We had no no base from which to explore, so to speak.
Having that ‘Eureka!’ moment is a great moment in life. Finding something, whether material, intellectual or spiritual, is wonderful. But the declaration of finality can also shut off possibilities. It’s overdone and it gets in the way of further discovery often times because your mind closes off.
But I also have the attitude that it’s ok to say you believe something. You aren’t making a vow that you will always believe it. You are simply saying, “As of now, I am starting with this as true. I might find it’s not true in the future, and if I do, that is fine.”Scientists do that. They start with certain assumptions of truth. They are willing to test those assumptions to see if they hold up. They don’t test them every day, all the time. Many of their assumptions will be with them all their lives. But a good scientist is always willing to entertain the notion that something they believe may not be true. They are willing to say “hmmm…that’s funny. I wonder if…”
Are you willing to do that in the science that is your life?
We all know the scientific method. It’s pretty simple in its essence – hypothesize, test, evaluate. Then you repeat with variations until you get it right.
Here is my question to you – Do you follow the scientific method in your life? Are you deliberate about figuring out what works, what is true, what is healthy, what is wise in your life? Do you experiment and find something to be true or false or do you just go along with what you have been told, afraid to test on the chance you might have to change what you think or how you behave? Perhaps you do experiment but you never learn it, repeating the exact same test over and over again even though you know it will end in failure.
I know in my own life the people I trust and admire the most are those I am confident will look at the evidence that is their life, will be honest about what is really happening in it and how they feel about it, and will adjust as needed, even if it is painful.
As it is in science, so it can be within yourself.
It’s day #4 of ‘What’s The Problem?’ Week at the NDD
When I got divorced in 2000 I had a lot of resentment towards my ex-wife. When she would come over to get or drop off the kids I would be civil, but cold and short with her. I knew that forgiveness was good, but forgiveness also meant telling her that what she did was ok, right?
Wrong. I realized that forgiveness wasn’t about my ex-wife, it was about me. What person did I want to be? I wanted to be the person I always had been, a kind and forgiving person. I couldn’t be that if I was holding it back towards the most important person in my life up to that point, no matter what she had done.
But I was confused. I thought I had to forgive first, then I could eventually be kind. But I soon realized the opposite was true. I had to be kind first, and in the act of kindness my forgiveness would blossom. So, I started inviting her in when she came over. I offered her something to drink. I asked her how she had been doing, what new things were happening. I told her about my life as well. We talked more about our kids, what they were going through, what they needed. And eventually, through my decision to show kindness first, before forgiving, I started to see her as she really was, a good woman who made a choice I didn’t agree with. She wasn’t evil, bad or terrible. She was the same woman she had been before the divorce and I could still love that woman, albeit from afar and in a different way.
So, in the end, loving the person became more important than holding on to my problem. And the result? The problem went away.
The most important thing in life is love. If you are angry at someone don’t lose sight of the fact that in the end you want your own heart and mind to feel and show love towards that person. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever get angry or upset. It means you keep in mind the end goal, the purpose, behind your expression. Have the courage to work through it within yourself and with the other person until love is what is left and the negative feeling is what is left behind.
I am not a great writer. I get my grammar wrong, my sentence structure is sometimes caddywumpus and I definitely do not know proper punctuation. But I do know metaphors and analogies pretty well and it’s one of my great pleasures in life to read, hear or come up with good ones. But just as pleasurable is when I hear, read or come up with really bad ones.
Why is it so great to hear something so bad? Because it’s as if the world suddenly became an absurdist Looney Tunes cartoon with funny looking people and fractured language right in front of my eyes. I like things that make no sense whatsoever but still point to something that makes sense.
Most importantly, it makes me laugh and I like that.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Have you ever dealt with someone in the middle of addiction? You will probably hear them admit that the solution is for them to stop drinking, gambling, etc. long before they will accurately admit the problem. How can that be? Ask them what the problem is and see what they say. They might say it’s stress, or maybe family, finances, parents, spouses, where they live, their job, health, kids, responsibilities, boss, environment or politics.
But they will do everything in their power to avoid seeing the real problem because the real problem is them. They will offer all sorts of solutions for how to change all those things, but they won’t ever get to and succeed at implementing the real solution until they admit the real problem.
If you pay too much attention to everyone else’s problems and how to solve them you might just be avoiding your own.
I hope you don’t have a problem with it being day 2 of ‘What’s The Problem?’ week.
FEELING ALONE
Have you ever NOT felt alone with your problems? They are unique and private and not many will understand. Even when you KNOW the problem is not unique to you, it still finds a unique way of manifesting itself in you that makes the problem different than how others experience it, right?
THE PROBLEM WITH COMMONALITY
It is true, each person’s problems are unique. But sometimes they are so alike to other’s problems that medical professionals or communities at large see and treat only that commonality. But if you really want to help a fellow human you have find your way clear of the generalities to seeing them as the individual they are. You can’t do that if you only see them as a statistic or a vessel for a chemical reaction.
THE PROBLEM WITH INDIVIDUALITY
Have you ever felt good about owning your own problems? That can be good; indeed you do have to deal with them as your own. BUT, if you then take the next step – becoming prideful and self-righteous about how you suffer alone, then you move from positive self-awareness to an ego driven path of isolation and delusion.
If you are one of those suffering from feeling alone in your problem just remember that IF you are willing to share your situation with those who love and care for you, whether they are professionals or friends and family, then your journey for solutions will be at least be traveled on the common ground of love and care, not only on the lonely ground of private suffering.
Wrong assumptions can usually stop someone dead in their tracks.
If you have a problem, something as big as a financial mess or as small as being late for a meeting, and you think your first attack on it is going to yield an immediate solution to the problem, then you could be quite disillusioned when instead your solution yields more problems.
But if you know in advance that is how life works, that problems worthy of attack will attack back, then you can gather up the courage and mental fortitude to fight back, not just once, but again and again until the problem is solved.
