The intelligent people are the quiet ones. The strong, silent type is the epitome of the desired male. One should listen twice as much as they talk. All very nice sentiments, but the truth is in a relationship talking (and listening) is crucial. If you don’t speak, if you don’t say what is going on, it becomes the rule. And you could very easily have a sorry end to the relationship as a result.
Sometimes one doesn’t talk because they feel the reaction will be negative, defensive, or angry. Those are actually understandable reasons to not want to communicate feelings, emotions and ideas. No one likes to be dismissed, lectured or put down when they share vulnerable things.
It often takes courage to talk in a relationship, but the alternative is a deep seated frustration. It is ultimately unhealthy for oneself and the relationship. Talk, even if it is scary.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784, English writer
Being one who comes from a long line of talkers, I should talk, right? Well, I may not be the silent type but I am the good disposition type and I am quieter than I used to be. So, I am making progress.
What about you, are you adept at either of these? Tell us how, give us pointers!
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Muhammad, 570-632 CE, Founder of the religion of Islam
I love this quote so much I have drawn it twice! I drew it back in 2009 in honor of Martin Luther King Day and have redrawn it again today.
I love the simple truth of it. No matter if you are black, white, mixed, brown, red, or polka dot. No matter if you got here by ship, boat, skiff, skow, raft, ocean liner, airplane, river, car, bike or feet. No matter if you are rich, poor, speak english, spanish, chinese, french, farsi, hindi, or any other language. No matter whether you are old, young, male, female, straight, gay, tall, short, fat, thin, able or challenged.
No matter what, you are now in the boat called America. Help row it, ok?
Well, Aristotle IS one of the fathers of rhetoric so who better to ask a rhetorical question, right?
It’s been a tough emotional week for me. Not anything personal in my own life but due to the events in Tucson. I love my country. I have loved it since I was a little kid and learned about George Washington. He was, and still is, in my opinion, the greatest public hero of any age.
I was 8 when JFK was killed. My parents loved him and worked for him. My father even ran for the Senate in 1962, inspired by him.
I was 13 when MLK and RFK were killed. I will never forget walking into a drug store in Darien, Connecticut after MLK was murdered and hearing a man say ‘that N***** deserved it’. I was 13 and as angry as I had ever been at that moment. I didn’t speak up and was ashamed afterwards. Since then I almost always speak up if someone says something grossly offensive.
I was 26 when Reagan was shot. I was not a fan of President Reagan but it had nothing to do with that. I respect my presidents. I start each term with each president just as filled with hope as if I were a naive young man.
I am now 55, will be 56 in a little over a week. It’s weird, it’s almost as if this event in Tucson hurts more than the others. I know Giffords is ‘just’ a congressional representative, not a president or candidate, but it’s almost because of that that it hurts more. She ‘represents’ and it’s as if someone was trying to kill that, not just a person. Add on to that that people who had every reason to believe they were doing something uniquely and gloriously American that day suffered death and injury for no other reason than they wanted to connect to their representative.
I love rhetoric and the power of words. I love how they can inspire us. I hate how they can turn us on each other. I hate how they can be used by selfish people for selfish ends. I hate how they can mask lies and evil deeds. But I think the power of good in words can overcome that power of evil. And I won’t ever give up believing that, ever.
The napkin above is light, it’s funny, it’s absurd. It’s rhetorical. I had to lighten my emotional load a bit by drawing it. Don’t forget though, that it is not a rhetorical question to ask if we can’t be civil with each other.
Christina Taylor Green, age 9, was murdered while going to see her Congressional Representative, Gabrielle Giffords. She was just elected to her school’s student council and so excited about being part of a new world of voting and thinking and decision making. She saw it as pure and fun and the essence of being a helpful, good person in the world.
In his speech at the memorial the President said many things. But the passage that stuck with me, that made me tear up, was the quote I have on the napkin. I agree with it, don’t you?
Let’s do what we can to make our efforts in democracy something our children can be proud of.
Americans are taught, from an early age, the words of those who founded the country. The rhetoric still guides us. Not just the Constitution and the Declaration, but in the wide swath of words our leaders, elected or not, have spoken. We love those words. People on the right, like Rep. John Boehner, people on the left, like Rep. Nancy Pelosi, and people in the middle, like Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, love them. They take them to heart even as they have slightly different opinions of what those words mean in the here and now. But, as naive as some say it is, I believe American politicians, with rare exceptions, do their best to honor those good words from our history.
I don’t start with that assumption regarding those who are not accountable. I am talking about specific people, on both the left and right; Beck, Limbaugh, Maddow, Olbermann, Maher, Hannity, Savage, O’Reilly, Palin and others. They don’t have to be elected, sworn in, questioned by constituents. All they have to do is talk. They are responsible to themselves, their companies and the company’s shareholders. They are not responsible to the citizens. If what they want is money, fame & adulation there is nothing wrong with them wanting those things. They are not responsible to want anything else even though we might hope they have deeper desires.
What is wrong is when you think they have your best interests at heart. They don’t. They have THEIR best interests at heart. They are NOT your representatives, in life or in Congress. Listen but understand that YOU are responsible for not just your words but how you evaluate and act on other people’s words as well.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily Quote by Plato, 427-348 BCE, Greek philosopher
We give ourselves a gentler, more thoughtful talk when arguing within our brain. We can do that with others, even in political debates. If we start with this in mind then we can stick with a conversation, an argument, long enough to move out of the antagonism and towards a thoughtful approach.
What should be asked of our public communicators, in politics and in the media, is to choose words (and images), not only for their shock and attention-getting value, but for their precision and their honesty. Of course that means those communicators have to be honest and precise in their thinking and self-evaluation, not something they often want to do if doing so threatens their position, power or wealth.
That is why you don’t see talking heads pulling back from their excesses, on both sides. They are playing a game, a game of ratings.advertisers, money and influence. They know they are helping to create a toxic dialog, but they are scared of losing what they have, and in some cases they are greedy for more, so they can’t or won’t pull back, even though they know their words are hurtful and denigrating to all of society, not just their political opponents.
I wish it were otherwise, and it can be, if you decide that listening to it is being complicit in spreading that toxicity and decide to not listen.
When you think about it, well-mannered stupid people do tend to make it to the top and rule the world. But I plan a coup soon of well-mannered smart people and will need your help! Are you with me?
If it’s not via an obvious organization, look to see if the individual doing that incredibly stupid act hasn’t been pulled this way and that by a committee of well-meaning fools.
There have been birds falling out of the sky this week. First in Arkansas, USA, then in Mississippi, USA, now I hear it’s happened in Finland.
Of course we can draw the conclusion that the end of the world is upon us. Then again, it’s most likely to be fireworks. Or maybe pollution. It could be a virus. It could be God. It could be aliens.
So, this quote gets to the heart of a certain type of stupidity. It’s not the process of finding answers that makes people stupid. It’s the DESIRE for conclusions without being willing to do the intelligent work to find a logical, reasonable and likely answer. As a result we take the easiest road. We take the road of superstition, whether religious or secular. We take the road that the bandwagon is on. We take the obvious road. AND THAT IS STUPID AND DANGEROUS.
The other aspect of stupidity that is shown in this quote is so many people’s inability to just allow that we may not know the answer. It doesn’t mean we should work towards finding answers and solutions, but if one’s inability to live with unknowing causes them to reach stupid conclusions then they are being, well, stupid.
