Hope and Despair – I Draw in Church
The mouth said she had faith and the eyes said she had doubt.
Drawing © 2018 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Five Sketchbook Drawings
These are five drawings from my recent sketchbook work. Most were initially drawn in church with coloring done after.
The Choir Singing about Colors and Tools – 2018
Deserted – 2018
The High Rise – 2018
She Felt So City – 2018
Superstar – 2018
I Draw in Church – The Exhibition
This month (Aug, 2018) we had the 45th year reunion of our Darien (Connecticut) High School class of 1973. One of the things we have all been amazed at over the years is how many of us ended up being artists of one sort or another. Some ended up being full-time professional artists, some part-time, but there were many more than you would figure from a class our size (about 300).
Jim Hett talking to a crowd in front of his artwork.
One of our alumnus (and artist), Jim Hett, also has had years of experience in museum work, installing, curating, organizing exhibitions. He took the initiative to organize an exhibition of many of the artists’ work and installed it at the Darien Public Library earlier this month. Even though I wasn’t able to attend I wanted to send some work. I had a small space to work with and I wanted something that would be thought-provoking in a library setting so I chose from my ‘I draw in church’ series. I sent a suite of 9 small framed pieces.
Here are pictures from the exhibition. Following those are the individual images.
Exhibition at the Darien Public Library
‘I Draw in Church’
‘I Draw in Church – Jan the Baptist’ | Ink on Paper | 2017
‘I Draw in Church – The Divine Calculator’ | Ink on Paper | 2018
‘I Draw in Church – Mary Magdalena’ | Ink on Paper | 2017
The following three drawings were done in an actual bible. It was given to me in 1997 and I stopped using it to draw in around 2001. I don’t know the specific dates I drew each of these images but I added color to all of them in 2018.
‘I Draw in Church – I Am Not Who I Appear To Be’ | Ink on Bible | 1997 – 2018
This drawing includes a poem I wrote.
I am not who
I appear to be.
You see beauty,
I see me.
I see me as
Far and away.
Helpless, hopeless,
Nowhere to stay.
I see me with
Aching bones,
Sagging skin and
Spiritual groans.
I see me as
Selfish and mean,
Trite and hateful,
Enviously green.
If you see me,
Truly you will know
My beauty proves
I don’t reap what I sow.
‘I Draw in Church – Thought in the Back of Her Mind’ | Ink on Bible | 1997 – 2018
‘ I Draw in Church – Prayers of a Pursed-Lipped Person’ | Ink on Bible | 1997 – 2018
These three drawings (one, ‘The Violinist’, is not pictured individually but you can see the image in the group picture above) do not include any words though one does still have thought bubbles. It’s just that there are images in the bubbles instead of words.
I Draw in Church – The Bible Reader | Ink on Paper | 2014
‘I Draw in Church – What They Thought’ | ink on paper | 2016-2018
(One piece is missing, ‘The Violinist’. I thought I had scanned it and had it in digital form but I haven’t been able to find it so I suspect I didn’t actually scan it.)
I’ve drawn in church since about 1980, probably because I started using sketchbooks small enough to carry into the building. When I tell people I do this often times I get the question, do people in church think that is rude? And here is the funny thing, while I have no doubt some do indeed think it is rude, not one time in close to 40 years has anyone ever said that to me directly. As a matter of fact most people who do talk to me about it are enthusiastic to see what I have drawn and want to know more about why I drew what I drew. This includes pastors, past and present, who sometimes are aware that I draw. The pastor at the church I currently attend will, on occasion, want to see my sketchbook, curious about what’s drawn my attention and how I may have interpreted a sermon or message. At least he knows when my head is facing down I am not asleep, just looking at my sketchbook!
Drawings © 2018 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
God Is Up To Me – I Draw in Church
Who Decides God?
Who decides if God exists or doesn’t, is connected or disconnected from humanity, is male, female, non-binary or something else, is three in one, 747 in one, or one in one?
Who decides if everything happens for a reason, just some things, or no things?
Who decides if God in on the side of a certain race, creed, state, nationality, governmental process, or language?
Who decides what religious laws or rules you have to obey, what restrictions you have on yourself with food, drink, exercise, clothing, makeup, hair style, tattoos and piercings?
Who decides what writings are from God or not, which religion is right or not?
Who decides if God made males superior to females or females superior to males, approves of gay marriage or does not, approves of sex before marriage or not?
The answer to every question is ‘you decide’. Even if you believe in the inerrant word of God, taking the bible literally, it’s YOU who decide to believe that. Not your mother, not your father, not your priest or pastor. You decide.
God is up to you.
Drawing and commentary © 2018 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
I Draw in Church – Respect and Love
“I’d rather be respected than loved.” – Eli Broad
This is my drawing of our preacher this past Sunday. Her name is Paula. She spoke on marriage from a woman’s perspective. Her husband, named Deron, also spoke about marriage, but from a man’s perspective. There was a bit of stereotyping, which she told us would be coming. It is true that stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason (sometimes) and in this case there is enough truth that I understood why she used them. She basically said that while most women want love, most men want respect. I can see that in my life. But it’s important to note that women, while wanting love, do also want respect.
The battle for equality on behalf of women for the last 150 years in this country is proof of that. The fact that it was a risky move to even have a female preacher up at the altar is also proof of that. They have had to fight for that equality even though their behavior and actions have proven they are worthy of it many times over. From talking to my wife, daughters and others, it’s a very frustrating position to be in, whether in career, education, home or social life. Women want their intellect respected, as well as their decision-making, emotions, insights, capabilities in the workplace and their creativity. And they want their bodies respected at all times.
Many men already get plenty of respect from society, but not all. Often times a man will suffer disrespect until they reach a boiling point, then explode in anger and resentment at not getting it. If they were able to ask for it, and explain how the lack of it truly hurts them, then perhaps they would get it before their blow up. But that would demand a vulnerability that most men aren’t comfortable with. To ask for something like that, or to explain their hurt, could open them up to ridicule or even put them in a dangerous position with other males. The male preacher brought up a good point however, and that is they have to deserve it. Asking for respect when their actions aren’t respectable or respectful is going to fall on deaf ears.
So, it seems to me there is a bit of a lopsided element to respect. Women often do more than enough to deserve respect and don’t get it. Men often do very little to deserve respect but get it anyway. Men often times will demand the respect and might get it out of intimidation or fear. Women will often not demand respect out of the same reasons.
How do we balance out this inequality? That is where the love comes in. Yes, it’s great to be respected, but at the root of respect is love. My wife and my song is ‘What a Wonderful World’. One of my favorite lines is this: “I see friends shaking hands, saying ‘how do you do’, they’re really saying ‘I love you’. And what is shaking hands but a show of respect, right? Well if the line is true (and I think it is) what lies behind that respect is love. Love is what allows the empathy needed to see the frustration on the part of women when they are not respected. Love is what allows the sensitivity needed to see the hurt behind the disrespect men sometimes get. Without love in your heart, respect is just an academic exercise you can dismiss at will. With love, it’s the mechanism by which you can love the whole world.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
The Singer of Pi – An Illustrated Short Story
The Singer of PI
She sang in the choir, always trying to understand the meaning of the songs. She felt they were a mystery far beyond her capacity to understand. But she also knew that, just like in her yoga class where if she kept doing that one pose she would master it, she would eventually get closer and closer to understanding the more she sang. And that turned out to be true. She never did completely understand, but over time she became better at hearing, interpreting, and understanding. She became a leader in the choir, helping the less experienced members learn these same mysteries. As a result she became beloved by all.
The End
Joan the Baptist – I Draw in Church
Joan the Baptist – A Short Story
The woman inside her mind in the balcony alone wondering if she’s changed for the better by being a Baptist or not. And all the people below her wondering who she is and what she is doing in the church dressed like that.
The End
Drawing and short story © 2017 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
I Draw in Church – Sax
The Church Pianist – Selections from a Sketchbook
As some of you know, I draw in church. I have oodles of sketchbooks full of drawings. Sometimes I start with real person, other times I make something up out of my head.
We usually sit about 3-6 rows back on the right side of the sanctuary and I have a pretty good view of the pianist playing in the orchestra or accompanying the choir.
She’s become my go-to model and I suppose I have drawn her at least 100 times over the years.
Years ago I showed her the drawings in a prior sketchbook. I thought she enjoyed them and was flattered.
My wife thought she was probably creeped out. It was probably something in between.
I just finished a sketchbook that took close to 2 years to fill. Since she is a recurring theme I thought I would show you those drawings.
I drew her from the balcony a few times. Linda was in the choir so I moved around the sanctuary, sitting wherever I wanted just for fun.
People who sit still for long periods of time in the same position are good models.
She is a wonderful starting point for my imagination, a muse. I thank her for that.
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Drawings by Marty Coleman
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Practicing at a Church I Usually Don’t Go To – A Short Short Poem
Practicing at a Church I Usually Don’t Go To – A Short Short Poem
She is walking out of church with very long legs and very short shorts.
I am behind her, noticing, with a remnant, a wafting of judgment,
That I discard and think instead,
You are wonderful, as are your friends, and I love you.
The End
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Drawing and Poem by Marty Coleman
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