Wrong assumptions can usually stop someone dead in their tracks.
If you have a problem, something as big as a financial mess or as small as being late for a meeting, and you think your first attack on it is going to yield an immediate solution to the problem, then you could be quite disillusioned when instead your solution yields more problems.
But if you know in advance that is how life works, that problems worthy of attack will attack back, then you can gather up the courage and mental fortitude to fight back, not just once, but again and again until the problem is solved.
In 2008 I helped found the Tulsa Digital Photography Group, later named ‘PHOTOG’. It now has close to 600 members, making it the largest in Oklahoma. We put on photo shoots once or twice a month and have a monthly library presentation that I lead. Sometimes I do the presentation other times we have guest photographers come in.
Here are some of the photos I have taken at our shoots over the years.
Rust
This was taken after a studio lighting seminar. The outdoor area had a lot of great locations as well and we continued taking portraits well after the seminar ended.
Look
This was also taken at a studio lighting session. She was the owner of the studio and it took a bit of convincing to get her to model for us.
Another Way of Seeing
This was taken at an equestrian competition shoot. I had to run fast when I saw this girl hanging upside down to get the shot.
Tulsa
This was taken at a ‘painting with Light’ session. I had my camera on a tripod with a long exposure and ran out into the field to draw the word ‘TULSA’ with a flashlight. It took me 7 tries to get the S facing the right way, it’s HARD!
Color Composition #3
This was taken at a Color Composition shoot I led at the Cherry Street Farmer’s Market. Who says red and pink don’t go together.
Tail #1
this was taken at a ‘How to Approach a Stranger’ shoot I led at Tulsa’s Blue Dome Festival. I had already taken photos of this woman’s face when I got attracted to the great color and textures of her scarf, hair and shirt.
Tail #2
This was taken at a Tulsa Zoo shoot. The tail said it all about this guy.
Candy Cane
This was taken at a Bokah Christmas Lights shoot at Rhema Bible College. Bokah is a technique using a very short depth of field where only a small area is in focus.
Ghost Walk
This was taken at a studio/model shoot. This window covering was meant to diffuse the light for portraits but I was drawn to it for how it created silhouettes and shadows in very compelling ways.
Halloween
This was taken at our annual Halloween Cemetery shoot. We have our models dress up in all sorts of fun halloween type costumes and just have a blast with a myriad of the techniques taught over the years.
Due to the very public passing of Steve Jobs I have been listening, reading and thinking quite a bit about death this week.
One of the best clarifications of death and why it has ultimate value to us the living was spoken by Mr. Jobs himself during his commencement address at Stanford University in 2005. Here are three paragraphs from that address. Take the time to read them. It really is worth the time, after all…
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. (emphasis mine) Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Another series I particularly liked from 2010 was one I did on STRESS. I don’t remember feeling particularly stressed when I did it but I think my wife Linda was at the time. That is probably what inspired me. Click on the drawing to see the original post with commentary.
Last night I gave a trial run of the presentation I am giving at Blog World LA in November. Its title is ‘The Six Stop Signs on Creativity Road’. I didn’t quite make it down to 6, I had 8 instead. but I will get there. One of the stop signs involves worrying about people being better than you. That is a paralyzer. But just is bad is thinking you are better than others.
Now, I don’t mean the thought should never enter your mind. If you win a race, you realize you are better than others in that race. What matters is if you publicize that ‘betterness’ just to pump yourself up or to push the other person down. When that happens it is one person rubbing the other person’s nose in their inferiority. When that happens to you, your estimation of the other person doesn’t go up, it goes down. And when you extol your own superiority, it might build you up in your own mind, but it doesn’t build you up in anyone else’s.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily Quote by Anonymous
I am going to retire this topic after today. It’s day #5 of Personal Finance week at the NDD.
So you saved all this dough. You did what all the financial planners said to do. Now you can retire at age 65. Then what will you do? Have you been just waiting for retirement so you can do a million different things on your bucket list? More power to you. But what if you don’t have a bucket list? What if your bucket is empty? What if your bucket is filled with nothing but superficial stupid stuff? What then?
Remember, You won’t be able to rely on your company to tell you what your purpose is. So you might want to figure out, what is your REASON for retiring? The question isn’t what are you retiring from, it’s what are you retiring TO? All the money in the world, all the perfect preparations, will not save you from having nothing to do.
Start now, if you haven’t already, and work towards figuring out what matters to you. What drives you. What you are passionate about. If you don’t know the answer to those questions, then it’s time to take a big ol’ leap into the unknown to find out. Time for some therapy, some volunteering, some soul searching, some bone jarring upheaval, because if you don’t do something you will end up being empty and if you think empty is bad at your age, try being empty at retirement.
If you are going to build financial wealth for yourself and your family, it’s just as important to build character wealth. Without building your character, in particular how you will deal with whatever wealth you get, then your upcoming wealth could very easily overwhelm you. It could overwhelm your sense of right and wrong, your sense of empathy, compassion, understanding, humility and more.
And, as the napkin illustrates, it could easily completely warp your understanding of death. What is there to understand about death that could change based on your wealth? After all, we all do know we are going to die, right? RIGHT? Well, maybe not.
If you have a lot of anything; money, stuff, followers, then the idea of losing all those things focuses your attention on the thing that could take it all away. If, in addition to that, your wealth has led to an gargantuan increase in your ego and power, then you might be fooled into thinking you can escape death somehow. I don’t mean you really, truly believe that, but you rationalize the fantasy in your head to the point where you might actually convince yourself. What leads to that rationalization need? Fear of death because you have so much to lose.
But guess what? All the ego, money, power and fantasy won’t change the reality of death. You will not take one single iota of money or of stuff with you. So, perhaps you can regroup and retrain yourself to see your wealth, not as something to hoard and fear losing, but something you gather for the express purpose of dispersing to others. I don’t mean charity alone. I mean dispersing to companies, to adventures, to worthy causes, to family as well. But the idea is to know that it is passing by and you only have the power to decide where it goes and when, not whether you get to keep it.
When we think of personal finance we don’t usually think of someone who is poverty stricken. But everyone on the planet has personal finances. What do you have (usually in the form of money) to get what you need and want? That is the essence of personal finance and whether you are in a tenement slum, a mansion on the hill or somewhere in between you deal with that every day.The cost of being poor isn’t just in the amount of money it takes (and it does take some money to be poor) but in the emotional, psychological and relational aspects of life as well. For example, statistics seem to show that most marriage stress and divorce occur with money being the root cause.
How do we get out of that situation? It starts with recognition that you can only control you. That includes whatever money you receive, from whatever source. The pain and stress of not having enough money is a terrible thing, but it can be turned around if you start with small steps in a different direction.
That new direction might be being more responsible with utilities, food, driving, miscellaneous purchases. Maybe the new direction is just writing all the money inflow and outgo down.
Whatever small step you can take, take it. It might not lead to a grand solution it’s true. But not changing direction guarantees there will be no solution at all.
If you can, it’s a great benefit to your children to teach them about money management. But if you don’t do it perfectly, or at all, you can still help them understand it as adults. But to do that you really have to have your own personal finances in pretty good order first. And that is a good thing because the last thing you want is for your children to learn about personal finances only when they see you broke and at the end of your years.
My wife and I are going through a personal finance program over the next 12 weeks. We meet once a week where we watch a video, have a discussion and go over material in a group. We then have homework during the week. The goal is to get our financial house in good order and be better prepared for emergencies and retirement. As a result I thought it would be fun to do a series on personal finance. I know many of you struggle with money, how to keep it, spend it and use it the way you want. So, let’s investigate shall we?
When do you use a deodorant? Most often you don’t use it when you stink, but before you stink. It’s a preemptive strike against the possibility of stink.
How is money a good deodorant? From the cynical point of view what it really means is that you stink but you have so much money that those around you are willing to suffer through the stink to get close to some of your money. In this case we are not talking about a physical odor. We are talking about a moral, ethical or behavioral failing being the ‘odor’.
Another way of looking at the quote, less cynical – more positive, is that money is a protector. It is a buffer from you being in a situation that might stink, such as an emergency of some sort. After all, if you have an emergency fund then your emergencies (and you WILL have emergencies) won’t be nearly as catastrophic, right? You will be able to pay for them if you have saved knowing they will happen.
What tricks and tips do you have surrounding your personal finances?
