by Marty Coleman | Dec 2, 2010 | Decisions, Dietrich Bonhoeffer |
And what if you are on the wrong train? You need to relax, do the best you can while on the train and get off at the next station. BUT before that you have to be self-aware enough to know you are on the wrong train to begin with.
How do you know that?
Maybe you are not happy, not healthy, not satisfied? Yes, those could be signs you need to get off the train. But what if you were not happy, not healthy and not satisfied before you got on the train. Maybe it’s not the wrong train, you just have a bad attitude and mind set?
It gets back to what I mentioned yesterday. You have to know your self. And to do that you need to be honest. As the quote yesterday says, it’s not just hard to do, it’s inconvenient as well. It isn’t easy facing and exploring who you really are, but it is ultimately worth it, just as exercise is ultimately worth it.
So before you jump off the train, make sure it’s the train that is going in the wrong direction and not you that is thinking and acting in the wrong direction.
It’s just another example that to be happy you have to ‘untie the NOT’!
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Quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer (from his book ‘The Way of Freedom’), 1906-1945, German Lutheran pastor and author. He is worth reading about and remembering, especially if you are Christian.
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 1, 2010 | Josh Billings, Self |
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Imagine you are a leaf blowing in the wind. You take off from the tree and land on a well mowed lawn. You feel big, but you also feel not so colorful. The lawn is green, you are yellow/brown.
The wind takes you again, this time to the field next to the lawn. You land between some very overgrown patches of weeds and shrubs. You feel small, but you also feel pretty because you have a nice shape and are all of a sudden colorful, while the weeds are all bedraggled, shapeless and dull in color.
Once again you are blown away, this time landing on an asphalt parking lot. You feel even more colorful but also alone. Suddenly you feel worthless because a shopkeeper has come out and swept you up with other trash and tossed you onto the bulging garbage can around back. Why didn’t he see how pretty you are, maybe you aren’t pretty after all.
Finally you get blown away one more time, and you land under a tree similar to the one you came from. Surrounding you are hundreds of other leaves just like you. You are happy and feel safe.
In all of your journey what hasn’t changed? YOU haven’t changed. You are still the leaf with the same color, size, texture, pattern, origin.
That is how real life is. You truly are an individual out in the world. Sometimes the world is safe and complimentary, sometimes it is alien and cold. Some people don’t understand or like you and you may just have happened upon one of those people randomly. You might even marry one. One might be your boss.
Whoever they are, they aren’t defining you, they are either reacting to you or more likely they aren’t actually paying attention to you since they are thinking about themselves.
They might be a weed who doesn’t like your leafiness. That doesn’t mean you should change your leafiness, it means you should either ignore the weed, help the weed not be so fearful of others different than it or get in a place where the wind can move you on.
They might be a lawn of grass, obsessed with it’s own prettiness, and really don’t really notice you. You worrying about it’s judgment and wanting to be more green, but they aren’t judging you, they aren’t actually paying any attention to you at all. You can either demand attention from them, be satisfied to just be safe but unknown, or you can once again get in a place where the wind can move you on.
It’s not other people who define you, it’s YOU who defines you. Until you do that and know who you are you are at the mercy, not of the wind, but of where the wind places you.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Josh Billings, 1818-1885, American humorist and writer
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 30, 2010 | Death - 2001-2011, George Carlin |
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Yesterday I heard of a friend who is depressed and had suicidal thoughts. Luckily she had already reached out for help from a good friend and had found a place to go to talk. Her circumstances seem to be the catalyst in this case, as opposed to someone who is clinically depressed. But either way it’s crucial for those in contact with those people to listen and be aware of hints, words, behaviors, that seem to indicate thoughts of suicide.
When I have come in contact with someone contemplating suicide I have always returned to this: If you are alive, there is hope. If you are dead, there is not. It doesn’t matter if you THINK there is hope. It doesn’t matter if you THINK things will get better. All that matters is that you ACT as if there is hope and that things will get better. Be an actor, pretend your way through it.
I don’t mean to be trite. I don’t mean you shouldn’t get help, of course you should. And I don’t mean you don’t eventually want to get to the place where you actually have hope and believe things will get better. But for now, you obviously do not think that. I can’t make you think it. But actors don’t have to believe, they just have to act. And acting is what will keep you alive until the help and hope comes about.
I am not talking about the pretending all is well when it isn’t. I am not talking about living a lie, living in abuse, living in unbearable circumstances. I am talking about acting out a set of steps that will keep you alive.
First step, admit it to someone who you think has the best chance of helping you. If that person doesn’t step up, keep going, find another person. Don’t give up, don’t stop until that person has appeared.
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Quote by George Carlin, 1937-2008, American comedian and writer
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 28, 2010 | Sketchbook History Tour |
I got some markers in 1993. It allowed me a lot more color freedom and I went to town with them.
A Plaid Person Peering
You can see from the background landscape that they haven’t changed much over the decades. I always return to distant hills, ocean and receding paths.
Spotted Bust in Spotted Gallery
The horizontal calmness of that landscape is what I love. It juxtaposes nicely to the usually more emotionally or psychologically intense portraits in the foreground.
A Woman With Hand and Messenger
I lived in California most of my life, on the beach and amid rolling hills that would be green or golden depending on the season. I always come back to them.
See Through Woman
Unfinished Portrait
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 25, 2010 | Gratitude - 2010/2011, Marty Coleman |
It’s day #4 of Gratitude Week
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A Thanksgiving Poem
A Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends, family and friends I haven’t met yet, in America and around the planet! I appreciate you all very much and love you even mucher!
Drawing and poem by me.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 24, 2010 | Frank A. Clark, Gratitude - 2010/2011 |
Thank goodness today is day #3 of Gratitude Week at The Napkin Dad Daily
I ran the Route 66 Marathon in Tulsa this past Sunday. I didn’t do well during most of the race. It wasn’t anything about training, nutrition, hydration, race day preparation or even my time (which was bad) that makes me say that.
It was my attitude. I started out with a mess up finding the people I was going to run with. It was crowded and I was alone, no running buddies. My legs were sluggish to start. My attitude wasn’t infused with thankfulness or love, it was infused with bother. I was bothered by walkers. I was bothered by gatorade spilling on my hands. I was bothered by music bands along the way. I was bothered by my inability to get my body in gear to keep at the pace I wanted.
Two things changed that. At mile 21 I finally met up with two of the runners I was going to run with. They were both stopped and in great pain. One had to keep walking, the other started running with me. She had injured her knee half-way through and was crying. We kept plugging along for the next 5 miles, running, walking, running as best we could. I was beat, she was even more beat. But she kept going with me. All my bother melted away and I was only thinking about getting us both over the finish line. And we made it together.
The other thing? A young man, 27 years old, had collapsed and died on the 1/2 marathon route. Need I say more? Nothing changes an attitude quicker than realizing the old adage ‘There but for the grace of God go I’. I have lived twice as long as he did. I have had marriages, children, love, travel, pleasure, pain, great friends and family. Many of these things are lost to him now and forever.
It was a sobering reminder that my attitude, as long as I am alive, should continually strive to be at, or move towards gratitude, thankfulness and love.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Frank A. Clark, 1911-1991, American Pastor and Aphorist
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 23, 2010 | Gratitude - 2010/2011, Samuel Johnson |
I am grateful today is day#2 of Gratitude Week at The NDD.
What makes a person gross? Do you see a connection between your understanding of that term and lack of gratitude? What does ‘great cultivation’ mean? Explain.
Drawing by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784, English author (and more!)
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 22, 2010 | Gratitude - 2010/2011 |
Day #1 of Gratitude Week at The Napkin Dad Daily
Thanksgiving week is a perfect time to be diligent about practicing ‘now and here’. Your relatives might be disruptive if they are coming to visit. You may not like their ‘fly by the seat of their pants’ way of planning a trip to your home. You might not like their indecisiveness, their politics, their nasty habits or nasty judgments.
But they are coming. And they will be at your house. Are you going to ruin your own week by focusing on what you don’t like about them or are you going to enjoy your week by accepting the characters and events as they occur, lessening the time spent wishing things were different and allowing yourself to find what the good in what is happening and be thankful for it?
It’s your choice, you know.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 21, 2010 | Sketchbook History Tour |
In 1991 my two oldest daughters were taking ballet lessons. I would sometimes be the one to take them and wait. When I did I would sometimes draw those around me. On this day in 1991 I happened to capture two very interesting mothers while they watched and contemplated.
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| Ballet Mother Watching |
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| Ballet Mother Contemplating |
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 20, 2010 | Death - 2001-2011 |
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Drawn for my daughter and put in her lunch to be eaten at school. The lunch that is, not the napkin.
Ever notice how most everyone doesn’t want to die? Ever notice how a good portion of those same people are pissed off about some or all of their lives? Heraclitus noticed it over 2,600 years ago so it’s not a new phenomenon. I doubt it is going away throughout humanity. But I certainly think individuals can get rid of it in their lives if they so desire.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Heraclitus, 535 BCE – 475 BCE, Greek philosopher from Ephesus.
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