My father wasn’t good with money. He was raised without a lot of it so when he ended up getting enough to go around than then some he didn’t spend it or invest it all that wisely. Honestly, early on I was the beneficiary of those decisions. For example, when my grandmother on my mother’s side died, he used the inheritance to by a boat. It was our first boat ever. But it was not a sensible little boat we could learn on. It was a 47′ houseboat. It was big. As a result we hung with the big dogs at the various marinas we docked at and I was able to use the boat as my own personal playground for many summers. But in the end the boat blew up on us. I mean that literally. It did actually blow up and I was burned on 75% of my body as a result. Buying that boat was temptation over opportunity.
He once invested in a company simply because it happened to be located in the same office building as his. Of course, it could have turned out great, if the company had been Apple. But it was an obscure little company that found hard to find needles for record players. I still have the stock certificates, worthless now for many decades. Why did he do that? Because he liked the guys who ran the company. He wanted to help them out and that was how he could do it. But it probably wasn’t a wise investment. It was temptation over opportunity.
Questions
I am not immune from this. I am easily tempted as well. I haven’t had much money to throw around but there are other ways to be tempted. Temptation has more to do with where your attention is focused than anything else.
Ask yourself these questions:
Is your business attention focused on long term or short term goals?
Are you planning for something in your business’ future by saving or organizing? Or do you just deal with things as they pop up?
Are you able to keep your business focused in a certain direction even when the initial excitement of your choice has dwindled? Or do you change your direction based on your enthusiasm and excitement level?
Do you rely only on what you see and hear in your immediate business environment to decide what to do with your time and money? Or do you investigate by purposely exploring areas and industries you aren’t familiar with?
Are you able to imagine your business ideas being implemented by others? Or do you feel you need to do it all?
Are you able to adapt to new circumstances? Or are you rigid and firm in your direction, no matter what?
It’s in the Building
I just finished reading a great book called ‘The Innovators – How a group of hackers, geniuses and geeks created the digital revolution’. It is an amazing book that I highly recommend. One of the major takeaways I have from the book is how completely obscure their business future was to each and every one of these entrepreneurs. We look back on this history and we see it as inevitable that IBM, Apple, Intel, Microsoft, Google, the internet, all would exist. But not one of the people building those businesses had any idea what they would eventually become.
They started with an idea and they had a vision, but they didn’t know about the technology’s future. Some predicted what would happen, even as far back as the mid-1800s. But those people didn’t build the machines. Those who built the machines and the software, they didn’t have the luxury of just prognosticating. They had to build something. It was in the building that the future was created, not the philosophizing.
And building takes place when focus is good, when opportunities are taken advantage of and temptations are minimized.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
When a child Viola loved the violin. She played it every day. Her mother had been a viola player of some renown and had named her one and only daughter in honor of that. But Viola fell for the violin instead. Her mother, Violet, didn’t mind. All she wanted was for her daughter to be happy.
Chapter Two – When an Adult
But when an adult Viola was not happy. She had stopped playing the violin because her girlfriend, Clarina, didn’t like the sound of her practicing and she wanted more than anything to make her girlfriend happy. She thought if she stopped playing her girlfriend would love her more and be happy.
Chapter Three – When a Lover
The happier Clarina became the unhappier Viola became. She didn’t know why but she was very sad most every day. Her therapist, Timpany, said it was because she wasn’t playing the violin any longer. Viola wasn’t sure but she thought it might be true. She decided she would play the violin again, but only when Clarina was not at home.
Chapter Four – When Alone
Viola started to play the violin again. Viola’s neighbor, Mr. Horn, who was french, heard her every morning. He saw Viola in the hall when they were both getting their mail one day. He told her he loved hearing her play, that it made his mornings so relaxing and happy. He told her he was a photographer and asked if one day he might be able to take some photos of her playing. He had been doing a series of musicians and had not yet done a stringed instrument player. She was delighted and said yes.
Chapter Five – When Together
She didn’t tell Clarina, but Viola went to Mr. Horn’s apartment 3 days later to be photographed. He had her stand on the fire escape and he took photos of her with the city in the background. He complimented her again on her playing. It only took about 20 minutes to get all the shots he wanted. Then he offered her some tea, which she accepted. He asked her questions about her playing, her life, her interests. She was happy to have some attention and was sad when he said he had an appointment he had to get to.
Chapter Six – When Apart
Viola was very excited to see the photographs. But she didn’t see or hear from Mr. Horn for a number of weeks. It was making her crazy waiting. It wasn’t just that she wanted to see the photographs but she wanted to see Mr. Horn again. She liked him and felt positive and hopeful when she had been with him. She wanted that feeling again.
Chapter Seven – When Surprised
After 2 months had passed, an interminable amount of time for Viola, she saw Mr. Horn in the hall. He greeted her warmly and apologized profusely for the delay in getting back to her. He invited her right then to his apartment to see the photographs and she of course accepted. She was so surprised to see the photos. She didn’t realize he would convert them to black and white or that they would be so dramatic and emotional. She actually started to cry when she saw them. He embraced her lightly around the shoulders and said, “I hope those are good tears.” She said that she had never actually seen a good photograph of herself playing before and she didn’t realize how moving it was going to be.
Chapter Eight – When in Love
Mr. Horn asked if she would mind if one of the photos was put in an exhibition he was going to have. She immediately agreed that it would be fine. She asked if she could have a small print of the photograph just as a remembrance. He said that was part of the plan. 5 months later the exhibition opened. She went to the opening and saw the print framed for the first time. She cried again. She also whispered to the print when no one was looking, “I love you.” She felt the image speaking it back to her. She was happy.
Epilogue
The next morning she confessed to Clarina she had taken a lover. Clarina was hurt and asked, “Who was it?”, “When did it happen?”, and “Why?”
Viola brought out the little print Mr. Horn had given her and showed it to Clarina and said, “This is my new lover.”
Clarina didn’t understand and never did. Viola and Clarina broke up later that day and Clarina moved out 2 days later. Viola became 3rd Violinist in a local orchestra and was very happy. She also became one of Mr. Horn’s favorite and most popular models. He eventually published a photography book called ‘The Violinist’ that became a big seller for his small publishing company.
Viola and Mr. Horn’s friendship spanned over 30 years. They remained great friends until Mr. Horn died at age 78. Viola helped organize the work he had not yet been able to catalog due to his sickness and led the effort to have one final book published of his work. She succeeded and was very happy for him.
When Claire the Clarinetist was finished playing she could have chosen to leave the altar as do many of the other orchestra members. But the orchestra was arranged today so that she was facing directly towards the congregation (usually she is facing sideways) and she thought it would be fun to just sit there and see what the pastor sees every week.
Chapter Two – NO
The first thing she noticed was the raven-haired woman in the front row trying to control her kids. Her husband was also there but he was having no interaction with any of them. She had seen this happen again and again with this family. The mother had to do the hard work of interacting with the kids constantly and the father did nothing. She wondered if they would ever be friends. She thought, “No.”
Chapter Three – YES
As Claire looked at them longer she realized something else. The mother was getting the hugs and the smiles from the kids. The father was not. He may have been missing the hassle, but he was also missing the love. Now when she wondered if they would ever be friends, she thought, “Yes.”
Chapter Four – I DON’T KNOW
She then cast her eyes on an elderly man. He looked alert, with sparkling eyes. He had on a very nice sweater. She wondered about him, who he was, who he had been. She imagined him as a young man. She wondered if they would have been friends back when he was her age now. She thought, “I don’t know.”
Chapter Five – I KNOW
Her attention was pulled back to the sermon. The Pastor was telling a joke. It went on way too long and when the punch line finally came it was terrible. The whole congregation laughed though. All except the elderly man. He rolled his eyes. That is when she realized she would have to go meet him because they would be good friends. She thought, “I know.”
Chapter Six – MAYBE
She looked up into the balcony and noticed a striking blonde woman. One of the spotlights aimed at the altar was directly behind the woman and it lit up her big blonde hairdo like a halo. She could tell, even from a distance, that she had on impeccable clothing. She looked like she had a lot of money. She wondered if they would ever be friends. She thought, “Maybe.”
Chapter Seven – MAYBE NOT
As she continued to watch the woman in the balcony she noticed her looking back at her. Then she leaned over to the woman next to her and whispered in her ear. When she did that, she gestured toward the altar and pointed her finger. They both smiled and suppressed a giggle. The Clarinetist knew she had been pointing at her. She thought, “Maybe not.”
Epilogue
Claire eventually met the woman in the front row. They became good friends. She would babysit their kids once in a while when the couple would go out on date nights. It turned out they were very old fashioned but very much in love. He was kind and thoughtful to his kids, though not particularly warm. She adored her husband and greatly appreciated his ability to discipline the kids with love.
Clair did go and meet the elderly man. They became good friends. He started attending the noon concerts she did once a month with her little quintet she had. He was a widower, having been married 57 years before his wife passed away. Claire played his favorite song at his funeral 5 years later.
Claire ran into the blonde woman in the church bathroom a few weeks later. The blonde woman said, “I just want you to know how much I admire your playing every Sunday. My friend and I sit in the balcony and just adore the entire orchestra. We both like to sit up there because the acoustics are best. We can hear your clarinet very distinctly. We always make sure to point you out to each other when we think you have an exceptionally cool outfit on.”
Recently, I showed you a number of ‘Three Letter Word’ drawings I did in anticipation of my talk at SXSW and SMTulsa. When I showed them to you I left out the actual Three Letter Word in each drawing, just as I do in my actual presentation. I want the participants to try to figure it out before I tell them. Each one of these Three Letter Words is about igniting creativity in others (and yourself). They are about using words to take a statement from finality to possibility.
Here are the drawings with the words in them. My hope is you can see that just by adding these words you are saying your state of talent, interest, expertise or being isn’t permanent nor complete. You are saying that you believe you can become better, smarter, faster, more creative, more enlightened, more understanding in the future. It is a much different statement with the Three Letter Word than without it.
YET
NOW
AND
ACT
NOT
You can see the other posts about this presentation, ‘Igniting Creativity’ by finding ‘Three Letter Words’ in the series drop down menu to the right.
If this peaks your interest and feel your company or group could benefit from this sort of presentation about creativity, by all means contact me and we can talk about how I can help you!
Many believe these things happened. I assume most believe the crucifixion actually happened. And some certainly believe the resurrection is to be understood as having also actually happened. Others believe it is to be taken symbolically, not literally.
But as heretical as it might be, that isn’t of great concern to me. The reason is because, whether literal or symbolic, the resurrection is still a story about an idea. It’s the idea that you cannot kill good. You cannot kill love. You cannot kill forgiveness, mercy, compassion. Those things will always be more powerful than hate, than selfishness, than greed, than judgment. They will always triumph because they are always needed more than hate.
Hate is an indulgence. I think when we see someone filled with hate we should say, “Wow, there’s someone with too much time on their hands.” Because it’s true. They are indulging in a selfish, greedy exercise for their own entertainment, their own self-righteousness, Their own feeling of superiority.
But Love? Love isn’t an indulgence. It’s a life necessity. Humanity can’t live without it. It is what engenders hope. It is what builds relationships. It is what sustains us in the midst of tragedy. Hate can’t do any of those things, only love can.
The Passion Lesson
So, whether you believe Jesus physically or symbolically rose from the dead, there still has to be a reason for it to have happened. If you believe it is so you are saved? Saved from what? Eternal damnation is, of course, one answer, and that may be true. But what about another answer? Maybe you were saved from hate and judgment. Maybe you were saved from thinking hate and judgment were the best road forward, the best way to react to life. Much of the world around us certainly promotes them as something to feel and act on.
Maybe you were saved when you learned from seeing Jesus being willing to practice what he preached so thoroughly that he allowed himself to be crucified. Not just to fulfill an ancient prophesy, and not just to make a cosmic level save for humanity, but to show humanity something about living on this earth.
Your Neighbor, Here and Now
Jesus so often talked about the Kingdom of God being at hand. I think he meant in the here and now on earth. And how do we access it? By following his teachings. And what were his teachings? Yes, there are teachings about the theology and government of the afterlife. But beyond saying you believe it there isn’t anything else you can do but believe it.
But his teachings on allowing nothing to get in the way of loving your neighbor? That we can act on right now. And he even made it easy for us all. When asked, “but who is my neighbor?” He made it very clear, everyone is your neighbor.
My friends in business, some as high up as VP, but most in middle management, have often told me over the years how little their bosses realize how much work they have done and currently do. Those bosses may have come to power in the past few months, and know nothing of the many years this person saved, expanded, corrected, instilled, encouraged, adapted, innovated, created, built, adjusted, revamped, and competed to make the division or the company what it is today. These friends may have had someone above them recognize their efforts during a year end review that ends up in a file somewhere. But the new bosses will very likely not read those reviews, deeming them irrelevant. It can be very frustrating for them.
Now
On the other hand, as a running coach who leads four sessions a year, I can’t tell my runners that the last session was great and expect them to be satisfied with that. The current session has to be great otherwise my bragging about past achievements means nothing. Now is what matters.
Balance
It’s good to recognize other’s accomplishments. It tells them they are doing a good job and are appreciated. That is important. But, in another sense, it’s also good to not pay too much attention to those past accomplishments because they are not what will cause the business to succeed today and into the future. For that to happen you have to perform today. Of course, both can take place, and that is how it should be. Recognition of past efforts is what makes a person want to continue to put out effort in the present and into the future.
One might think that it is critical when you reach a certain point of success that you up your game and push your level of excellence, going beyond ‘good enough’. But the truth is you can’t wait until you reach any particular level of success to do that. If you don’t push for excellence and originality from the very beginning chances are you won’t ever reach a high level of success. If you do somehow reach that level of success, you will have a hard time sustaining it.
This past week I went to SXSW (South By Southwest) in Austin, Texas. SXSW is actually 3 conferences and festivals; Interactive, Film and Music. I was invited to speak at SXSWInteractive. I also was invited to speak in 2014 so this was my second SXSW experience. And if you haven’t gone, trust me, it really is an experience unlike any other conference.
LARGE
First off it’s larger. Attendance this year is estimated to be around 100,000 for all three events. The Interactive/Film portion, which overlap, is said to be about 25,000. SXSW takes over one of the biggest conventions centers you can imagine and that is in no way enough space. They take over eight other hotels and other venues to have enough room for all the sessions and events. In addition eleven other venues participate as partner venues, associated with SXSW but run by private companies or organizations. I typically went to 3-4 different venues per day.
TOPICS
Second, there is a huge array of topics. This year I went to the following sessions, divided up into the tracks they were in: Click in each session to see my thoughts detailing what it was about and then my live impressions of the event via my tweets.
Keynotes and Featured Sessions
Conversation with Ira Glass (founder of ‘This America Life’ on NPR)
Twitter Notes and Quotes
Ira Glass was hilarious. His session was simply him being interviewed about his professional activities of late, which include (besides his regular radio show) producing numerous podcasts, a feature length movie and a stage act that he performs with two dancers that he has been touring in almost every weekend for over a year. He is disarmingly humble but he is not a slacker by any means. He talked again and again about ‘Will’, how you have to will something creative into existence, how you have to will something to be great instead of mediocre. That was his inspiration point for me.
Gretchen Rubin – Five Counterintuitive Truths About Habits
Twitter Notes and Quotes
Gretchen Rubin has been a favorite author and online personality for many years. She combines fantastic research with great story telling to illuminate ideas. Her ‘Happiness Project’ gained her great attention and she has followed that up with a book on habits called ‘Better Than Before’ this is what she spoke on. After the speech I was first in line to get her autograph on two books, one for my daughter and one for my wife.
I was in this session because the one I wanted to go to, ‘Gender in Media: Why it Matters’ with Geena Davis, was cancelled. This session though was very appropriate for me since it was about streaming media, which I use every day with Periscope. The presenters basically were creating a Periscope for foodies and it was very interesting to hear how they made the decision and what went into creating the website, which launched just 5 days before.
Sitting in on ‘Nom: Food and the future of live video’ after finding out @geenadavis had to cancel her session on ‘Gender in Media’ #SXSW
Elephant in the Valley: Gender Bias in the Tech Industry
Twitter Notes and Quotes
This was one of the big themes throughout SXSW this year. Whether it is the tech industry, media and film, politics or science, there were sessions and conversations about it. Hopefully these discussions will lead to change.
1984 35% of computer science grads were women, 2016? 19% why? #SXSW#genderbias
This session didn’t really break new ground on anything. We all know the world is full of BS, especially in politics, PR, and marketing. What was interesting was watching how hard it was for the presenters to avoid BS words and phrases even while attempting to discuss how to avoid using them. One of the presenters, Jon Favreau, had been a speech writer for President Obama, and it was interesting to hear his stories about Obama and his desire to be and sound real in his remarks and speeches.
Tech and Social Good: A New Model for Collaboration
Twitter Notes and Quotes
This session was a bit of a disappointment for me. I thought it would be more about how to use technology to help build awareness and raise money for non-profits and charitable causes in general. It did touch on that a bit as it applies to the LGBT community but not as much as I would have liked.
Mario had some interesting things to say about making money via Periscope and some eye-opening statistics but I was hoping for more specific tips on apps, etc. to use to facilitate doing this. He did use a number of testimonials on people who are making money on Periscope, including one of my favorite periscoping couples, Doug and Ally of ‘Frameable Faces’. One thing that bothers me in general about money making on social media is how much of it is made by attempting to teach people how to make money on social media.
This was a session focused on twitter and it’s uses in the media, especially in breaking news stories, and how easy it is for a tweet to be let out into the twitterverse without enough thought to the context, or lack of context. This in turn can lead to terrible judgment, misrepresentation, and viral condemnation before you can blink an eye. It made me nervous to tweet about anything!
Now in a panel on Twitter called ‘140 characters, zero content’ will I have any content to tweet?
This session was about applying for and participating in various fellowship programs for successful people. He focused on the Aspen Institute’s Crown Fellowship that he participated in recently. He explained the process, when they met, what they read, and things like that. It seemed to me to be a bit of a bragging session in some ways, talking a lot about all the other famous (and very wealthy) people he rubbed shoulders with. I understood it in some ways, he was like a recent convert who had great enthusiasm. But at the same time I wished he had known his audience a bit better and talked about a wider range of opportunities in more detail, not just those for entrepreneurs and millionaires.
Next session: ‘From success to significance’ – Josh Baer, owner of ‘Capital Factory’ #SXSW
This was one of my favorite sessions of the conference. The reason is that they delivered on the title. It really was about how to design happiness into experiences. They had an interactive section where they had to audience ask the panel how they might redesign certain things to be happier. The DMV was one. Then they had the participants vote on whether the ideas were happy inducing or not. They topped all other elements of the session by bringing out puppies, real live puppies, at the end for us all to ooh and aah over. It was a great way to have us all leave happy!
This was another favorite of mine. The facilitators wasted no time getting us up and active in learning a new, more natural way to network and connect. That’s why I had so few tweets during the session!
Next session – connecting at the speed of story – going beyond the elevator story #SXSW#strychnine the
Even though this was geared more toward elite college age athletes it still helped me a great deal in thinking about new and better ways to coach my runners at Fleet Feet. It really came down to staying connected throughout the coaching process, both in person and online.
‘Connected #Coaching: Active Learning for Athletes’ is about to start. I must be switching to coaching mode! @FleetFeetTulsa#sxsw
I had high hopes for this one but the speaker tended to wander off topic and not address the questions and issues as directly as I might have liked. She didn’t use any slides and I think they could have been helpful in giving details of apps and methods for protecting our privacy. Having said that there were some very interesting concepts and practices from around the world that she did discuss.
I went to this session because my daughter is a scientist. It was focused mostly on the University setting and how professors in particular can get away with egregious behavior and not have any or minimal consequences. When I talked to me daughter about it later she backed up from personal experiences, many of the horror stories the women in the panel were talking about. It is an ongoing problem in all too many professional fields and it seems the solutions are long term, first and foremost, training and raising boys and girls from early on to know what sexual harassment is. And second, to reorganize corporate and academic structures so people are held accountable in a consistent, transparent and fair way.
Next session – #distractingly sexy : fighting #science#sexism online’ w/ Summer Ash, Nicole Cabrera Salazar, Jennifer Golbeck
I really enjoyed seeing a session all about art. Sarah Green explained a program she started that is shown on PBS called ‘The Art Assignment’ where she picks artists from around the country to come up with an art assignment for themselves that when shown to the general public is then opened up to them also fulfilling that same assignment in whatever way they want.
I was enthusiastic and hopeful when I heard about it, that maybe I could participate as one of the artists, but upon hearing Ms. Green’s explanation I realized her criteria for picking the artists is way to bound by traditional art success in the museum and gallery world and it would be very unlikely she would consider me adequately successful. But I still like the idea!
Next session : Art for All: a look at The Art Assignment – with Sarah Green #sxsw#artassignment
This was another session dedicated solely to art and I was surprised to see so many this year. This was all about ‘appropriation art’ or art in which the artist uses preexisting art or images and repurposes them to create something new. Of course the problem and controversy is when either the new art is not a substantial transformation of the old art or when the original artist is given no credit or financial reward for his or her images being used in the new art. This is particularly troublesome when the new art is sold for millions of dollars, as has actually been the case more often that one might realiz in recent decades.
Next session – ‘creative thievery – what’s yours is mine’ #SXSW Jonathan Rosen, Hrag Vartanian, Mary Crosse, Sergio Munoz Sarmiento #art
This session was scary coming in. There were police everywhere in the hotel and there was a bag check that was MUCH more thorough than anything I have had to go through at the TSA line at an airport. Why you ask? Because this session, and the whole Online Harassment Summit, was created in response to violent threats having been given when an earlier session proposal about sexism in the gaming industry was proposed. Because of how bad threats were they cancelled that session. They then had a change of heart and designed an entire program for SXSW. This session was one of the big ones because it had Wendy Davis in it, the former Texas gubernatorial candidate speaking on the panel.
Sitting in on ‘women in media & online harassment’ – important for men to know! pic.twitter.com/5UEphb4vyg
This was pure art and I loved it. The artist was a great speaker, talking about her own creative journey and at the same time encouraging others to pursue their own path. Many things she said are very similar to things I have been saying to artists and students for many decades now, but it was great to hear a fresh take on how to say those things. She was very inspiring.
Next session – being an artist today – finding your way to YAY – #SXSW#art
That is it for part 1. In part 2 I will explain my sessions (I had two actually) and my Airbnb stay, and in part 3 I will show you a bit of the wild fun nightlife of Austin.
People often say they don’t want to argue, right? For example, they may say this, “Arguing has never changed anyone’s mind.”
However, the truth is that in business, politics, science, religion, even art, ideas move forward and action is taken based on arguments made, arguments replied to, arguments won or lost. Continued progress over any substantial amount of time isn’t made without argument.
Persuasion
Of course, there are many ways to argue. Yelling, screaming, ranting, raving, and bullying are some of the ways. And those who make the comment above about arguing never changing someone’s mind usually have that sort of arguing in mind when they say that.
But those are not the only forms of argument. Debate and Persuasion are two methods that usually are more effective. Debate is about logic and reason, persuasion is about self-interest. In debating you are trying to convince someone that your ideas are right. In persuading you are trying to convince someone it is in their best interests to believe and/or act on something.
Best For Business
In business all these types of argument are used. But from my experience inside and outside of business there is no comparison, the most effective method is persuasion. That is because it is the most long lasting. You have converted someone to your way of thinking because you have actually made it their way of thinking as well. And when that happens, a vision for a business can grow naturally within an organization.
