by Marty Coleman | Sep 18, 2014 | California Road Trip - 2014, Family History |
Hello again Napkin Kin! Here is the part 2 of my epic road trip to the west coast this past week.
Day 4
Since Chelsea and Graham live in a studio apartment with a new born, my housing was obviously going to be elsewhere. I found a great Airbnb spot about 6 blocks away in the Berkeley Hills. This is their living room overlooking the small winding street below. Edrie and her partner JoAnn were friendly and hospitable hosts, with coffee in a French press ready for me each morning.
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Chelsea’s family unit had an appointment on Tuesday morning so I was solo for a few hours. I took advantage of the time to get my first run in. I had to return the U-Haul trailer and the location was way down in flats of Berkeley, near the San Francisco Bay. I figured there had to be running trails near the bay and I found a great one that goes for miles and miles. Within that trail was a loop that went out into the bay towards the Berkeley Marina. It was there that I found Cesar Chavez Park, with a great latticework of dirt and asphalt trails.
The sky was overcast and the air was cool with that fantastic California ocean breeze. After a summer of 90 + degree running days in Tulsa, it was exhilarating to run in cooler temps. It wasn’t just the temps but the surroundings. This little peninsula of a park was beautiful and natural. You would not know you were in the middle of one of the most densely populated areas of the United States, that is for sure. But as I crested over a little hill in the middle of the park I realized where I was.
It may look like just a trail with water in the background but look close. The water leads to a bridge on the left, which leads to a city which lead to another bridge in the center right. One of the best things about running in new places is how you always end up seeing that place in ways you can’t anticipate. Seeing the Bay Bridge, San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge all at the same time from this angle was fantastic. It was so cool I made this loop about 3 times, going 2 miles further than I had planned, just so I could experience it longer.
Then of course there is the more mundane angle to a run. What can be a majestic bay is always a small and intimate one with birds and mud and grass just like the Arkansas River back home or any other body of water. But look close again and there are always things to admire and wonder at.
Here is another thing runners often see that others don’t, the homeless. Of course in most cities you don’t find them waking up with this view. A night outdoors might be a tad bit easier on the SF Bay, but overall I have a feeling the burden is the same no matter where it is.
As I turned around at the halfway point of my run I glimpsed the BerkeleyMarina and the Berkeley Hills from whence I had come.
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When I returned the Coleman-Patzner family were folding laundry and playing. No worries, he isn’t about to break his neck. He does a lot of backward and upward bending motions and his neck is already quite strong. I experienced it first hand. Not bad for a 6 week old!
Otis and I hung out on the porch for a while. He was quite mesmerized by the amazing stories of my many road trips, as you can tell.
So much so that it wore him out. Here he is dreaming of going on an epic road trip with Papa Marty.
Even though Linda wasn’t there, I knew it was what she would have done so Chelsea, Otis and I went on a shopping trip that afternoon, getting stuff for the kitchen and the rest of the apartment. We also got fixins for a family dinner.
Graham’s parents, Curt and Karla Patzner, came over for dinner. I had met Karla before but hadn’t met Curt. I liked him because well, he had a nice hat. What more did I need to know, right? I made Linda’s famous Smoked Salmon Pasta with lemon and Dill. It went over pretty well!
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Day 5
It was babysitting day for me! Graham and Chelsea took a break in the afternoon to go see a movie and Papa Marty and Mr. Otis had our first bonding time alone.
But first Graham got Otis all ready for our big adventure. I don’t know Graham all that well, having only met him a few times, once when I visited California last year and another when Chelsea and he came to Oklahoma on their own epic road trip in the spring. That trip was a 6 week music tour around the entire US of A in a little Saturn car while Chelsea was preggers so yes, it was truly epic! Graham has been a very attentive and hands on father, playing with Otis, changing diapers, just taking care of business as a father. It’s been good to see.
While he slept I did a bit of work in the kitchen, moving out the fridge to put in a plug and mopping the floor. After that we went for a walk around the neighborhood. I introduced him to the jungle that is in the Berkeley Hills, with an elephant standing guard in a corner yard.
It was made of old pieces of tires. It was amazing.
A lot of Berkeley is amazing. While most homes don’t have huge land mammals in their yards, most of the homes have fantastic flowers and landscaping in their hilly lots. The homes are of all sorts, with a large percentage being of the Arts and Crafts movement, one of my favorite architectural styles.
The day ended with us going out to a Himalayan Restaurant on Shattuck Avenue in what is known as the Gourmet Ghetto area of Berkeley. It is too, amazing amount of restaurants in a very short stretch. It was really good!
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California Road Trip
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 16, 2014 | California Road Trip - 2014, Family History, Travel |
Hello Napkin Kin!
I’ve been gone on an epic solo road trip to Berkeley, California and back. It was 9 days, 3,675 miles and 62 hours in the car. I took 2.5 days to get there and 3 to get back with 3 and 1/2 days in Berkeley visiting my daughter Chelsea and partner Graham along with my first Grandson, Otis!
I didn’t post here during the trip because I posted on instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr instead. I figured I would show you the pics in 2-3 posts.
Airbnb
I have done similar trips before where I pushed it to 2 days and even 30 hours straight but I decided to do a little Airbnbing this time around. Do you know what Airbnb.com is? It’s an online room renting service. I first used it back in 2012 for 4 days in New York City when I spoke at Blog World. I rented a room in a little apartment in the West Village and loved it. So on this trip I not only found rooms on the trip out and back but stayed 4 days in Berkeley at an Airbnb home as well. Chelsea and Graham live in a studio apartment with a newborn so staying with them was NOT going to be happening.
So, here are the pics from the way out + some bonus ones only YOU get to see. Aren’t you special?!
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Day One
I was also pulling a trailer full of furniture on the way out. It was a couple of beds, a dresser and miscellaneous tables for them to put in their little studio space. I started off on Saturday around noon after coaching my running group. I ran 9 miles which I thought wouldn’t be so long a run as to make a long road trip immediately afterward unbearable. I was right, my legs and the drive were fine. My goal was to get to Albuquerque, New Mexico by 10pm or so.
I wasn’t deep in the heart of Texas, more along the edge, but the Panhandle is about as Texas as it gets. I loved the simple design of the two stars, one a shadow cutout, the other a window to the sky. Texas has some of the best tourist info areas, always well designed and interesting.
Texas Information Center, Texas Panhandle
If you are wondering of West Texas is a flat as they say? Yes, it is.
I hit the New Mexico border at sunset and was able to grab a shot of the sun setting in the Land of Enchantment.
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Day Two
The flowers outside my first stop, an Airbnb room in Albuquerque, were amazing – especially after the sun rose and they were brightly lit.
I took off early and as I turned my first corner leaving town I found this rising to greet me as the day dawned.
Later in the day I hit the high desert area of California. The Mojave Desert to be exact. It’s not all one big sand dune, most deserts aren’t actually. But it is arid and stark. But that arid starkness leads to incredible beauty and exquisite design.
This was taken in Boron, California. When I was a kid there was a cleaning product called 24 Mule Team Borax. I always knew it came from here, Boron in the high desert. And now I’ve seen it.
I spent night 2 at a fantastic Airbnb location in Tehachapi, California. It is also in the high desert, at the western edge right before you travel down into the central valley and Bakersfield. Richard was my host and he was attentive, interesting and engaging. We talked about our mutual lives (he had lived 40 years in Hawaii as a dive instructor) before I went to bed.
The house was built by a silent screen star named Thelma after her retirement in the 60s and he had spent the past year doing renovations to the place. It was immaculate.
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Day 3
He had an indoor pool that I was able to swim in in the morning. It is solar heated and was fantastic. Yes, that is a rubber ducky in my hand and no, that is not my tail coming out behind me.
My first official stop in California was at the home of Cyndi and Darrell Blaschak in Livermore. Cyndi is the younger sister of my exwife Kathy. In addition to furniture for Chelsea I had brought on piece, an old sled bed, for Kathy as well. She had left it with me when she had moved back to California from Tulsa in 2004 or so. And now, 10 years later, I was bringing it back. Unfortunately Kathy lives far north of San Francisco and I wasn’t able to get all the way up there so I dropped it off at Cyndi’s house for safe keeping.
It was great to see Cyndi and Darrell again. I started dating Kathy in 1979 when Cyndi was only about 14 years old so I have known her a long time. She is now a mother of 3 as well as an incredibly active athlete.
And then finally I had arrived at my destination, Otis. Yes, I was going to Berkeley, but I was really going to Otis. He’s only 6 weeks old here. After our introductions Mr. Otis settled down and started to get used to Papa Marty.
Since I still had the trailer attached to the car I wasn’t sure if I would be able to find a parking place at my Airbnb spot nearby. So Chelsea and I hiked the Berkeley Hills for close to a mile to find the spot. On the way Mr. Otis went to his very first library. It was a free library on the street.
Chelsea, Otis and I had dinner at Cafe Gratitude. I chose the ‘I am Humble’ for my dinner but I felt Iwas all those things as I watched my daughter take care of my first Grandson.
As we walked home the sun fired it’s last rays into the Berkeley sky. I am blessed.
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California Road Trip
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 3, 2014 | Anonymous, Well Wealth - 2011 |
Prosperity Doctrine
In American Christianity, there is a sect that preaches what is known as the ‘Prosperity Doctrine’. In essence it says simply, God wants you to be prosperous and if you obey him properly you will be. This is actually not a new phenomenon. At the beginning of Christianity you have Jesus preaching again and again about money and its trappings. Why did he preach on that? Because it was a big problem in the society he lived in just as it is now.
What Money Gets You
People want a lot of money because it will give them security. You can have an alarm system on your house to keep Miss Scarlet from breaking in and hitting you on the head with a candlestick in the library.
People want a lot of money because it will give them prestige and power. You can join a Country Club and get your photo in the Society Page of the local paper.
People want a lot of money because they can then purchase fancy things that stimulate their senses. You can buy his and her fragrance producing drones to hover over your side of the bed at night.
When Money Gets You
And that is what Jesus, among other sages past and present, have warned against. It’s not money that is the problem, it’s the constant desire for more of it that is. And the supposed cure, having enough money, is actually the thing causing the disease since it turns out riches enlarge, rather than satisfy appetites.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 2, 2014 | Well Wealth - 2011 |
I thought I was done, but I was not. Here’s #6 in the Wealth series
Time Immemorial
Long, long ago wise men and women in many different parts of the world discovered that obsessing with wealth often backfires. The person spends his or her days accumulating, all the while not realizing their death is right around the corner. Even the mightiest and wealthiest can be felled at any moment. Alexander the Great died after an illness of just a few weeks. He was 32 years old and had just recently finished conquering the known world up to that point. All that wealth and power didn’t help him against a microbe they now think was the Bird Flu, carried by ravens who were documented as having been acting strangely and dying all around his home in the days and weeks leading up to his death.
Money, Money, Money
So what does that mean? Aren’t we suppose to gather money? Isn’t it important for our well being, our retirement, our health? I never get the message that we aren’t suppose to have money and prepare. The message I have always received, from Christianity, other religions and secular sources of wisdom, is to be a good steward, always recognizing money, goods, health, jobs, everything, can be taken away in a heartbeat.
This does not make me depressed as it might. It makes me feel at peace because I know I can deal with whatever comes. It might not be easy, or comfortable or understandable. But I can get through it because I don’t place my being in the hands of money, I place it in the hands of the universe.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Script is from the quote, “It was told to a sage that a certain person had acquired great wealth. He said, “Has he also acquired the days in which to spend it?”
Author is Solomon Ben Judah Ibn Gabirol, 1021-1069, Spanish poet
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 29, 2014 | Muhammed Ibn Zafar Al-Siqilli, Well Wealth - 2011 |
Drowning
I was raised in a very wealthy community, Darien, Connecticut, during my Jr. High and High School years. There was a LOT of money around. One thing I noticed as I was growing up was having that money gave no immunity to family problems. Yesterday I mentioned that having great wealth can exacerbate problems and having been in that world for a while is how I know it’s true.
After those teenage years my family’s financial situation balanced out to a much more average middle class existence. I went off to college and was pretty much on my own. All the usual things a college age kid goes through, crappy apartments, ramen noodles, part time or full time jobs doing dishes or bussing tables, I did them. On top of that I got my degrees in Art, simply the BIGGEST money making degree one can get, right? uh huh.
Lowered Expectations, Higher Satisfactions
The result was getting married and raising a family with no where near the money my parents had. Luckily I didn’t obsess about wealth or having a lot of money. But I did have to learn that with my limited income and a growing family I had to be much more frugal with our resources than I initially thought. I learned a number of great lessons from having to make that adjustment.
- Doing things your self instead of hiring someone else to do it is satisfying.
- Giving away a portion of what you make (even when it’s not a lot) to causes and people you believe in and who need help is satisfying.
- Living life simply without garish and ostentatious displays of wealth and ego is satisfying.
- Knowing my family and I can make do no matter what is satisfying.
The Lake of Satisfaction
The truth is you don’t drown in money when you have a lot of it. You drown in alcohol or boredom or stress or greed or ego or promiscuity or any number of other things. And how that happens usually revolves around a desperation to keep ahold of ALL the money. That leads to an intense level of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
If you can open the gates of the dam and let go of that money that is overflowing (and more is overflowing than you probably realize) you will be better able to enjoy the lake of Satisfaction instead of drowning in it.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Muhammed Ibn Zafar Al – Siqilli, 1104 – 1172, Italian Political Theorist
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“Wealth is like water. They who do not open a dam to carry off its overflow drown in it.”
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 28, 2014 | Logan Pearsall Smith, Well Wealth - 2011 |
You will have to live with the fact that today is day $4 of our Wealth Series!
Are The Rich Different?
I don’t think they are. I think they just have more ways to get in trouble than the average Joe or Josephine. Where I might be able to splurge on a new TV I really shouldn’t buy. A wealthy person can splurge on a new mansion full of TVs or if REALLY wealthy, a whole TV station.
Dead Broke
In an interview recently, Hillary Clinton said that when they left the White House they were dead broke. The reason it turned into a gaffe was that the ‘Clinton’s ‘dead broke’ and the average American’s ‘dead broke’ is vastly different. They were still able to buy a huge house in a very tony area of the New York suburbs. They both had the ability to lecture for $200,000.00 dollars a pop. They both had the ability get paid to sit on corporate boards or start foundations that would pay them. They may have had a cash flow issue, even the biggest and brightest companies and individuals can have that happen, but they were not dead broke.
Balance
And that’s what is meant in this quote. It would be wretched to be wealthy but still have a middle class approach to using money but have to live among those who indulge in an ostentatious and garish use of money. Of course all wealthy people aren’t that way. Warren Buffett is one of the wealthiest men in the world and he still lives in the modest house he was born and raised in in Omaha, Nebraska. That is one of the main reasons he is about as popular of a wealthy person as you will ever find.
OK, I’ll Take the Chance
The last few ‘wealth’ posts I did last week got responses where the contributor said something like, “Yes, it could be a problem being wealthy, but I think I would take the chance.” Me too. I would be willing to try being super wealthy, running the wretched risk. But I would always want to remember that whatever I am not, good and bad, will only be increased with great wealth.
It’s a good reason to practice the good and put away the bad as often as possible….just in case the wealth comes in!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Logan Pearsall Smith, 1865 – 1946, American-born British essayist and critic.
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“The wretchedness of being rich is that you have to live among rich people”
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 23, 2014 | Sketchbook History Tour |
Creativity Coaching
Part of my Napkin Dad plan for 2014 and beyond is being a Creativity Coach. I have been an art and drawing instructor at the college level, have lectured locally and nationally on everything from Photography to ‘Coping with Change’, have been writing advice and insights on creativity on this blog for over 6 years and I have been hired a number of times to help people one on one to implement their ideas in fashion, social media, real estate and branding.
In one form or another, I’ve been a creativity coach most of my life. There is more information about this at the end of the story.
Marla
I met Marla for lunch recently at Cosmo Cafe in Brookside. We had met a number of years before when I had been doing a project called ‘In Public/In Private’ about reporters and anchors in the Tulsa area. At the time she was kind enough to share some of her poetry with me and I thought it was pretty good.
Creative Block
Fast forward a few years and recently I asked her how the poetry was going. She mentioned it was tough to find the time and I gave an encouraging word or two, hoping to help motivate her to write some more. We set a time to meet to talk about her writing and how she might be able to move forward with it.
I asked a number of questions about her creative process; how she goes about being creative, what works and what doesn’t, and that led us on to possible directions, experiments and exercises she could do to build momentum in her creative pursuits, both at work and on her own time.
Small Steps
As a running coach for the last 4 years I have learned the value of small steps. No one goes from couch to marathon. They go from couch to 5k. And that takes 12 weeks. And it’s hard. They can get to whatever distance they want but it happens in small increments.
The same is true of creativity development. If we are stuck, we often want a BIG PLAN to get unstuck. But the big plan, while maybe great for ultimate creative career goals, is not going to be effective in bringing out your creativity. Why? Well, big plans are pretty intimidating, they take a lot of time, and there’s the demon of high expectations looming over it all. It’s very easy to become paralyzed by the intensity of the process.
But small steps are doable. You don’t have to shout them to the world, you don’t have to get some ego validation for it because it took so much out of you. All you have to do it write that one line, draw that one drawing, sing or play that one song. The rest will take care of itself.
As part of our coaching collaboration, we plan to meet a number of times over the rest of the year. The purpose is to build on the momentum she has started, explore avenues for creativity in her work and her private life, and, most importantly, keep taking those small steps.
Drawing
As is the case often with reporters, she had to take a number of calls and texts during our lunch. I used the time to draw her.
Marla Working Her Phones
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Here she is after I had done the original line drawing.
Marla with Drawing
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Your Turn
If you need a jump start in some area of your creative life, I would love to help you. You might want honest feedback about something you have created in a safe, supportive environment. You might want to talk about where you can go with your creative output. Perhaps you have put your creativity on the shelf and don’t know how to take it down off the shelf and get it to work again.
Whatever it is, I can help you. contact me at marty@napkindad.com or 918-760-0581 and we can talk about the particulars.
Creatively,
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 20, 2014 | Proverbs, Well Wealth - 2011 |
Not to be hasty, but we are on #3 of Wealth Week!
Metaphor
The drawing above is a metaphor for how some people will hurt and manipulate others in their pursuit of wealth. They are consumed with it and nothing will stop them. They will metaphorically murder someone who gets in their way.
No Metaphor
And at other times it is not a metaphor at all. People really do murder to get their hands on wealth. History is full of stories of that sort of lust that blinds the person to moral or ethical boundaries. Movies and books are filled with fictional and true exploits of those who pursue money at any expense.
Drive
What is it that drive a person to that point? Why does the husband or wife kill their spouse for the insurance money? Why does the dictator send his country’s young men to death in war to get to gold or oil or land? How do you control your desire for wealth? What keep you from becoming that person?
I wish I knew why it happens and how to stop it because it certainly is one of the most pernicious and destructive impulses humans have and we would be so much better off with that under some sort of control and balance on the planet.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is from the Old Testament, Proverbs 28:20
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 19, 2014 | Marty Coleman, Well Wealth - 2011 |
I hope you survive day #2 of Wealth Week!
The Good Old Poor Days
One of the things you can be most confident of when listening to an older couple talk about their lives together is that there will eventually be a moment in the story telling when one of them says, “We had nothing and were broke almost all the time, but we had love and fun in our household.” It’s not a universal, and there are people who will also say those days were terrible. But many will look back fondly on having overcome the adversity of little money, a crappy apartment, a lousy first job, or any number of other things that can befall us.
When my first wife and I started our family we lived in a pretty crappy 90 year old rental home in downtown San Jose, California. There was 2 bedrooms, one bathroom, a pretty ugly backyard. We had mostly hand-me-down furniture and inexpensive or handmade clothing and other items around the house. The 3 girls all lived in the same room. I worked 3 jobs, my wife worked one on and off, and we barely made ends meet. But still it worked out pretty well, the kids were happy and we enjoyed our lives.
The Bad New Rich Days
We moved to Oklahoma in 1994 when I got a new job. The cost of living was SO LOW that we were able to buy a big 4 bedroom house for the same price we were paying rent. We weren’t wealthy by any means, but we certainly were prospering compared to back in San Jose. And with that came not more satisfaction, but more dissatisfaction. My wife reached her relationship breaking point with me within a few years of being in Tulsa and the marriage broke apart as a result.
There were other elements to the break up besides money, but my wife especially was more than a little uncomfortable with a bigger house in the suburbs and all that went with it. As a matter of fact, when we separated she bought a very small house much more like the one we had in San Jose than the bigger suburban house were were living in. This was partly due to finances of course, but it was also the type of house she had mentioned she wanted many times as we drove around the Tulsa area in the years before our split.
Question:
Why is it that many of us have such a hard time with prosperity? What is it that happens to make us more dissatisfied when logically everything should be pointing us to a greater level of satisfaction?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is mine and is an interpretation of a longer quote by Alan Gregg
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“Humans are great at surviving adversity, not so great at surviving prosperity”
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 18, 2014 | Lew Wallace, Well Wealth - 2011 |
It’s the start of a new Wealth Week (I did one in 2011 that these will be added to) and I have a question. We alway think wealth is filled with positives, but it can also be a test. Have you had great abundance of some sort come upon you quickly or unexpectedly? Maybe it was money, or maybe it was property or some other material thing or a relationship that gave you much more than you ever could have hoped for.
What was your response? Was it a trial? What did you learn from it?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Lew Wallace, 1827, 1905, American statesman and author of ‘Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ’
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“A human is never so on trial as in the moment of excessive good fortune”
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