by Marty Coleman | Nov 8, 2013 | Pierre Legare, Shop 'Til You Drop - 2013 |
There is more than an itsy bitsy, teeny weenie chance it’s shopping day #3!
A Good Idea
I actually think a Garage Calendar might be a pretty good item to have at the counter at Victoria Secret, don’t you? A great impulse purchase to bring home to hubby.
But Seriously
But seriously, why is this statement true? Why are there no garage calendars in bikini/lingerie stores? What do you think?
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Drawing and commentary (what there is of it) by Marty Coleman
Quote by Pierre Legare, 1949 – not dead yet, French Canadian humorist
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 6, 2013 | Mignon McLaughlin, Shop 'Til You Drop - 2013 |
I love/hate that today is #2 of my ‘Shop ‘Til You Drop’ series.
Ok, fine. This is not just about women.
Losing It
I recently lost about 25 lbs. As a result some of my clothes don’t fit. Most of my pants I have noticed it all along, except my jeans and some of heavier material, which I do not usually wear during the summer. I started wearing them this fall and in some of them I look like a baggy bag man. I also didn’t wear many long sleeves shirts over the summer and early fall. But now I have had a number of times I tried on my long sleeve shirts only to find they are similar in look to Seinfeld’s Puffy Pirate Shirt. Not the look I am going for. Combine one of those shirts with one of my baggy pants and I am baggy bag man extraordinaire.
Buttoning It
I did find a great shirt in the back of my closet this past weekend, perfect to wear out to a gallery opening and dinner with Linda. I put it on remembering it used to be too tight. I knew it would fit perfectly now and it did. Only one problem. There is a button missing right at the belly button. I remember losing it but didn’t really care because the shirt didn’t fit and I knew I would probably never wear it again. Oops.
Ironing It
So I finally found a shirt that wasn’t a puffy pirate shirt and went searching for a pair of pants. I found what seemed like the only pants I had that fit that weren’t thin summer pants, too dressy or jeans. Hadn’t worn them in a while but maybe I hadn’t worn them in so long they were from when I was thinner, way back when. Or maybe they came from that consignment shopping trip I did in the spring, I had no idea. I tried them on and I wasn’t immediately baggy bag man.
However, they were ridiculously wrinkled and had dust on the fold over the hanger and that meant I had to iron them and use one of those sticky roller things on them. But Linda was taking a nap and I didn’t want to wake her. You know what an ironing board sounds like when you pop it open? They are never silent, they are always squeeky and squeely. I tried, but it made the noise it was destined to make from the beginning of time, and woke Linda up. I think she thought it was a dog making a weird sound, not me. So I let her believe it. I ironed my pants and I looked slightly non-baggy bag man for the day.
I need to go shopping.
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
Quote by Mignon McLaughlin, 1913-1983, American Journalist and Author
Mignon McLaughlin
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 4, 2013 | Adrienne Gusoff, Shop 'Til You Drop - 2013 |
Shop around if you want, but here’s where you will find Day #1 of ‘Shop ‘Til You Drop’!
True or False?
Actually, I would say from the level of divorce in recent decades that sex (or at least relationships the sex is part of) is becoming more like shopping. You can return the product, but that doesn’t mean you are going to find anything particularly better.
What do you think, is shopping better than sex?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Adrienne Gusoff, born in the 20th century – not dead yet
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 30, 2013 | Illustrated Short Stories, Mermaids |
The Fearful Mermaid – A Short, Short Story
Chapter 1 – The Chase
Satine, the mermaid who liked her blue eyeshadow and mascara, didn’t know why they were chasing her, why they were so angry. She swam as fast as she could to get away, all the time trying to remember if she had done or said something to upset them. After a long time swimming she finally remembered what it was. She had eaten their mother for lunch.
She swam until she reached a rock near the shore. She climbed up on it and waited until they got tired and hungry and went away. Then she swam off to find her sisters and tell them about being chased.
The End
Here are the other mermaids
- The Virgin Mermaid
- The Night of Mermaids
- The Modest Mermaid
- The Arctic Mermaid
- The Lake Mermaid
- The River Mermaid
- The Fearful Mermaid
- The Influencer Mermaid
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 29, 2013 | Breasts - 2012-2013, Illustrated Short Stories |
The Woman w/ The Bacon Hair and Big Breasts
The woman was happy. She had hair like bacon, which she always wanted, and her big breasts had finally healed from the surgery.
She liked finally being thin. she had dieted and worked out hard to attain her new shape.
Someone took a photo of her and she stuck out her tongue.
Her friend standing next to her also had big breasts (but not bacon hair) but she was not happy about it.
The End
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Short short story and drawing by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 28, 2013 | Dating 101 - 2013 |
I hope you are aware that today is day #4 of Dating 101
Who are you attracted to?
I think we all will admit there is a certain type of look that we are attracted to. I have explained it from the point of view of an artist this way; Sometimes you see someone and you can evaluate perfectly why you think they look beautiful. The hair, skin, smile, eyes, shape, etc. can all be evaluated and as a result you might say “I think that person is attractive.” There are a lot of people like that for me. And I like it that way. I love finding beauty in most everyone.
But there is another level of attraction that precedes evaluation. It is the visceral, immediate response to a beauty that hits you without any thought or evaluation. It isn’t a matter of choosing, it just is. I like that as well.
How Much Are You Aware Of?
But with that visceral response that comes before thinking, we can get ourselves in trouble. It may not just be ‘I like blonde men’ or ‘I like short girls’, which is fine and doesn’t need to be evaluated really. But it might be ‘I am attracted to bad boys or bad girls who treat me like crap.’ Then what? When our immediate attractions lead us to trouble again and again, we need to become aware of it. Maybe not the first time, but after that, not paying attention to why you are attracted to someone who is going to hurt you, is compounding danger for yourself.
Then What?
So, if you do know your attractions are dangerous, what can you do? I believe maybe you can change your attraction. But you can’t do it directly. You can’t say, ‘I will now like men or women who are this or that way’. But maybe you can do it indirectly. If you work on seeing why you like who you like, perhaps that gives you enough insight into some of the underlying reasons. Then, little by little set free from those unconscious responses, with practice and awareness maybe you can start to see other qualities that become more attractive.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is adapted from one by David DeAngelo (I added the last line)
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 24, 2013 | Dating 101 - 2013 |
I got it together in time to post #3 of Dating 101
Silly Love Songs
I remember reading a Paul McCartney interview after his first wife, Linda, died. He told that through 20+ years of marriage they had only spent something like 4 days apart from each other. That’s saying something considering he was a traveling rock star. Yes, she was in Wings, but she also was a mother of young children, and an author in her own right with her own business identity. Their marriage has always been held up as a paragon of romance and love, in large part because of stories like that and Sir Paul’s inclination to write silly love songs to her. And I think that’s great.
Familiarity and Absence
But for most relationships, married or not, constant togetherness isn’t always ideal. It does a mind and body good to be independent for stretches of time. Too long obviously and the relationship can fall apart, but not enough time away from each other can be just as detrimental. The two famous cliche quotes, “Familiarity breeds contempt” and ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder” are cliches because they are repeated again and again. And they are repeated again and again because people discover them to be true again and again.
Fear of Aloneness
I often see updates on Facebook or elsewhere from a woman (in most cases) who states something akin to, “Wow, boyfriend is on a fishing trip. I don’t know what to do with myself.” When I read these things I sometimes worry about what will happen if her boyfriend and she break up? Will she know herself well enough to know what she wants to do with her time?
Courage to Keep You You
In my mind the way to avoid that issue is to never let go of what interests you and what you like to do. Always take the time to follow those interests. For example, when I go on a trip, I like, if possible, to spend an extra day dedicated to going to museums. Could I come home a day earlier to be with my wife? Yes, I could. And I miss her so it would be nice to be home. But it’s also nice to explore what I like. And it makes me a more interesting person for her to be married to. And it backs up the reality that I am an individual and will be the best individual I can be if I have a strong identity on my own. It strengthens my marriage, my relationship with my daughters and my friends, as well as my work as a blogger, artist and coach.
So, my advice? Don’t meld into cosmic oneness with your boyfriend and lose your identity. Instead lean into your boyfriend, and let him lean into you, interdependent, interesting and individual.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Victoria Billings, 1945 – not dead yet, American Journalist
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 23, 2013 | Anonymous, Dating 101 - 2013 |
It’s nobody’s fault that today is day #2 of Dating 101
Body and Soul
What type of woman does Playboy say they present? A good woman with a great body, right? What type of Prince does Disney say they present? A good man with a great body, right? Not that different after all. In both cases the person is refined to a high degree. Warts are removed, whether in character or body. Behavior is fun, but not too fun. They have personality, but not too much personality. They are unique, but not not too unique. They are serious, but not too serious. They have morals but not so strict as to be unrelatable. They are portrayed as loving their object of affection in just the way that object wants to be loved.
In other words, they endeavor to present an ideal person who is also the boy or girl next door.
Reality
Now, what is reality like? Our spouses, or potential spouses, may or may not have great bodies. They may be too serious or too much of a character. They stand out too much, or perhaps they blend in too much. We who are married pretty much know this truth. But those of you who are dating? What if you actually confuse fiction and reality? What if you think women really should glow in that ‘natural light’ with breasts perky and desire strong while meeting all your domestic needs? What if you think that men really should provide forever, save you from all danger, never be mean or stray or not attend to your every need, all the while being a stud. What then?
Picky and Settling
Then you are picky and anything short of that unrealistic ideal is settling. It’s a fun fantasy but life is isn’t going to wait around for a fantasy. It’s going to pass you by while many good men and women pass them by as well.
Playboy and Disney both provide fantasy stories. They should be kept in that genre. Reality is much more interesting, fun and challenging than fantasy anyway.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 21, 2013 | Anonymous, Dating 101 - 2013 |
Doing the marriage series last week made me contemplate what leads to marriage, which is dating, of course. So this week I am presenting a most helpful and informative teaching series on dating. Chime in with your hints and tips.
The Head in Charge
Women, I am about to tell you something you probably already know. Men have have a big head and a little head. Sometimes big head lets little head do what passes for the thinking between the two. Little head can easily rationalize acting really stupid, manipulative, selfish and immature. If big head isn’t maintaining some control over little head then both heads can get in trouble as a result. They can also hurt relationships, friendships, families, children, communities and themselves. Little head doesn’t think about those consequences.
Women, How To Tell
Women, you know, or should know, that men have these two heads. You should look for signs that tell which head is doing the thinking when on a date. If you feel you are being manipulated in conversation and being pushed into doing something they don’t want to do, in spite of you letting it be known they don’t want to do it, you can rest assured it’s Little Head doing the thinking. Big head has checked out and is just along for the ride. Women, being able to spot this phenomenon is a helpful quality to have. It can save you a lot of grief. It doesn’t mean the guy is bad, it just means you might want to wait until his big head is back in charge before you get too involved.
Men, You Should Know
Ah Men, you thought I was going to leave it there and say that it’s all due to you having these two heads, didn’t you? No, it isn’t. Men, you should know that women also have two heads. If you don’t then you haven’t been paying attention. Their little head can take control over their big head as well. Yes, you men seem to let little head take over with more frequency, it’s true. But women aren’t one headed robots. They can cede control to little head on a date and wreak some havoc in the wrong situation too. It’s not a one way street.
Master of My Domain
I am hopeful the dear reader does not think I am against little heads. I think they are wonderful and have an important role to play. Some of my best friends, of both genders, have them. But just as a captain leads the ship on the voyage, big head needs to be master of the dating domain, not little head.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is anonymous
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The worlds biggest head reportedly belonged to the wrestler, Andre the Giant.
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by Marty Coleman | Oct 18, 2013 | Bob Edwards, Marriage - 2012/13 |
I judge today to be a good day to finish up our Marriage series!
Trust Judgment
Do you trust a person’s opinion of their spouse? Most likely they know the person the best, right? As a result, wouldn’t they have the most accurate judgment? It seems logical except it comes up against another idea, as told in a quote we all have heard, ‘Familiarity breeds contempt.’ The problem isn’t that we know our spouse so well. It’s that we know our spouse TOO well. So well that our opinion is skewed. It might be skewed toward contempt and denigration like I show in my drawing or toward adulation and adoration.
Judgment for What?
As I was drawing this I came up with a quote, ‘If there is no reason behind your judgment, then don’t judge.’ I was thinking about how a spouse’s judgment has a different reason and purpose than most others. She might be judging based on his emotional attentiveness, finding him lacking or fantastic. But your judgment might need to be made based on his technical skills at work. He might judge his wife based on her organizational skills around the house but you might need to judge her on her social ability at the volunteer organization you both help out at.
What is the reason for your judgment? Very likely it’s different than the spouse’s reasons. Either way, to latch on to someone else’s judgment of someone is a dangerous thing, spouse or not. Making your own judgment, based on your criteria and reasoning, is essential to being an adult in the world.
See the entire series all at one time by clicking this magic word: Marriage
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Bob Edwards, 1860-1922, Canadian Humorist
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