by Marty Coleman | Mar 26, 2013 | Robert Burton, Take Your Medicine! - 2013 |
There is no cure for it being day #2 of ‘Take Your Medicine!’ week.
Can vs Can’t
People spend a lot of money, time, effort, emotion, worry on trying to change things that can’t be changed. But it is also true that many people settle for things always staying the same when they could change if they just put out the effort. I have seen it in a friend who stayed in an abusive relationship saying ‘There is nothing I can do about it.’ What she really said was ‘I am afraid to make the move (take the pill in medical terms) that will be the cure.’
Can vs Shouldn’t
But there are also situations where people want a cure for something that isn’t really a problem. If the treatment is no big deal, teeth whitening for teeth that are already pretty white, for example, then no harm, no foul. But what about a treatment that could be dangerous, to ‘cure’ something that is more based in a self-misperception or a greedy sales pitch, than it is in reality?
I have seen it in a friend who had a face lift while still very young with no visually significant signs of aging. But they were convinced that because they didn’t look like they did at 25 they need to get the procedure done. I thought the natural aging process should be ‘endured’ in that case, because the ‘cure’ didn’t seem to really be a cure and the ‘disease’ didn’t seem to really be a disease. The dangers however seemed just as significant as if the disease was life-threatening.
Can vs Won’t
And then there are those who could be cured if they actually would go to the doctor. Many people die every year because they refuse to go to a doctor. When they finally get sick and do go, it’s found they have a stage 4 colon cancer that could have been treated if found in time. Instead they die.
I had a physical 7 years ago and kept putting off getting another one because I felt healthy. My wife Linda’s mother died of colon cancer and Linda went to get a colonoscopy shortly thereafter. I didn’t. Finally, this past year I did get a full physical. And luckily no cancer, no heart problems, no signs of anything negative as of now. But why did I wait 7 years? I don’t know, but it was stupid.
Can vs Never Will
And we are left with those for who there truly is no cure. I am not saying there might not be a cure, but it is not likely to happen in their lifetime and they will go to meet their maker with the issue they have. It will never be taken away from them.
We watched the Bachelor TV show this past season and one of the most compelling stories for me was of one of the contestants, Sarah Herron. She was born with only half of her left arm. She will never grow an arm.
Sarah Herron from The Bachelor – 2013
More than Endure
A future Sarah, in 10 or 100 years, might be able to, but this Sarah will live all, or at least most, of her life just as she is, with half an arm. She tried a prothesis for a while as a child but didn’t like it and instead just got adept at using her half arm to do what most people do with a full one. It was obvious from watching her that she is willing and able to do most anything, even compete in a Roller Derby match.
This is true of many others who are not going to be cured of whatever it is that has befallen them. Some do endure, but many do much more than just endure. They prosper in the face of pretty daunting barriers. They have more than a small mark to complain about, they have big issues that will never go away and yet they overcome, they endure and the prosper. If they can, then you can, whatever your issue.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is never going to be without burn scars on much of his body, and is not just fine with it, but happy to have them.
Quote by Robert Burton, 1577-1640, British scholar, author of ‘The Anatomy of Melencholy’, which might explain why he would write the quote.
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 25, 2013 | Marty Coleman, Take Your Medicine! - 2013 |
Sick Sucks
A kid won’t usually say being sick sucks. they more often will say it’s no fun. Why is it no fun? Because they are used to having fun and aren’t now. They have something to compare it to. What about us adults? If you don’t have fun in your life, then being sick isn’t that different than not being sick.
Copping an Attitude
Obviously, it’s not easy to have fun when you are sick or taking serious medicine. Even the most fun people can get way down due to an illness. But they don’t stay down for long. Even in the hospital they will find a way to have fun, maybe by being sassy with the nurses or cracking some jokes with their grandkids. But at the root they do so by realizing the fun is in the attitude, even in the midst of the sickness. And guess what? It’s pretty well proven that that attitude in turn actually helps the person get healthier. But if you can’t have fun when you are healthy, you certainly won’t be able to when you are sick.
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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman
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Answer to yesterday’s photo question:
Yesterday I posted about speaking at Social Media Tulsa and included 2 photos, one a camera phone pic, the other a DSLR photo and asked which one was which. Here are the two photos and the answer.
The top photograph was taken with my iPhone, the bottom with my Panasonic G1 camera. I did the same minimal manipulation on both. The iPhone image I converted to sepia and slightly adjusted the brightness and contrast using the Photoshop Express App in the phone. It took about 2 minutes to take, process and post. The G1 image I did the exact same thing, but did it on my Mac Pro desktop after downloading from my camera.
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 24, 2013 | Photography, Social Media - 2013 |
In addition to my Napkin Dad persona I am also the owner of MAKE Studio, photography with an emphasis on personal portraits. In that capacity I spoke last week at the Social Media Tulsa conference on ‘The Compelling Image in the Age of Social Media’.
Frontispiece of Presentation
One of the points I made is having ‘just’ a cell phone does NOT mean you can’t take a good head shot. I took these photos of Jami Henson, who attended my session at the conference, right outside the main ballroom. It took a total of about 10 minutes to get 20-30 shots using the two cameras.
Now you might be able to discern the difference between the two images at the large size, but the truth is most social media uses, especially head shots are going to be much smaller. They are used as icons, profile pics and in other reduced size situations.
My point is not whether the DSLR photo is better, of course it is. But it is so much better in social media digital circumstances that you shouldn’t get the best out of what you have available? Can you put up something other than a grainy, ugly, badly lit photo of yourself at a party? Yes, you can. And you can do it with a cell phone if you need to.
If you are interested in experiencing the entire hands-on presentation/workshop for your company or group, please feel free to contact me.
Update 3/25/13:
So, ready to find out the answer? The top photograph was taken with my iPhone, the bottom with my Panasonic G1 camera. I did the same minimal manipulation on both. The iPhone image I converted to sepia and slightly adjusted the brightness and contrast using the Photoshop Express App in the phone. It took about 2 minutes to take, process and post. The G1 image I did the exact same thing, but did it on my Mac Pro desktop after downloading from my camera.
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© 2013 All rights reserved – Marty Coleman | MAKE Studio www.martycoleman.com
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 20, 2013 | Photography |
I compel you to look at Photography part 2. You can hear more about it at the Social Media Tulsa Conference where I will be speaking and leading a hands-on session on creating Compelling Images for Social Media.
Screw The Fashion Police
You are in the crowd at the edge of the red carpet at the Oscars and a famous star with a snake tattoo, a bizarre dress that is sure to put her on the worst dress list and some god-awful makeup walks by as the crowd around you whispers terrible things about her. But you? All you see are earrings that rock your world. Everyone else hates them but you love them. You take a quick pic of all of her because that is what you are supposed to do, but then you focus in and take a photo of what you really love, her earrings.
That individual photo might seem to be about a Star’s earrings but do that again and again and again, wherever you go, and people will realize it’s also about you. They will see who you are. You will have your own identity, your own point of view, your own visualization of who you are and what you love in the world. And everyone else will know who you are as well.
And there you have the secret of how to find a compelling image, by having the courage to follow what compels you. It’s as simple as that.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who design her tattoo for her.
Quote also by Marty Coleman, who designed her earrings too. However, she is to blame for the makeup, which I tried to talk her out of.
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 19, 2013 | David Alan Harvey, Photography |
I am speaking this week at the Social Media Tulsa Conference. A link to the conference website is below and you are invited to attend. My topic is ‘The Compelling Image in the Age of Social Media’. This week I am drawing some images that will introduce various areas I want to cover.
What Compels You?
This one applies whether you are posting your photo to social media sites or not. It’s about focusing less on documenting the dry look of what happens and focusing more on capturing the compelling feeling of what happens.
Look for the Feeling
This can happen in one of 2 ways. You can choose to focus on something that, in it’s very look, visualizes a feeling. The drawing above is an example of that. The bloody foot and sock after an ultra marathon tell more about the feeling of the event than does a simple photo of the participant raising a medal with a smiling face. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with photographing that smiling face, but if you REALLY want to express the feeling, you might consider looking at what conveys that feeling. Is it the sweat on the brow, the person pouring water over their head, maybe the bloody sock? Investigate how the feeling is visualized in the moment and capture it.
Create the Feeling
The other way it can happen is by the technique you use to take the photograph. I once took a series of photos at one of my daughters’ birthday party. We had a pinata set up and I took a number of photos of the kids at the party swinging at it. In most of the photos my flash worked as you would expect, it froze the action. But in a few I purposely set the exposure of the camera much longer, so the flash went off but there was a trail of action that was in the photo as well. Those were the images that gave the feeling of the girls having fun, swinging at a pinata. The feeling was in the action, not just in the frozen moment. Learn what techniques you have available to you to help get across the feeling.
Social Media Tulsa Conference
The conference is Thurs/Fri, March 21st & 22nd at the Mayo Hotel in beautiful downtown Tulsa. You can still register to attend, here is the link to the Social Media Tulsa website with the agenda, schedule, speakers, etc.
My presentation is Thursday, 3/21 at 3:30 in the Penthouse of the Mayo Hotel. It is going to be a combination of speaking and hands on workshop. If weather permits we will be going out onto the roof of the Mayo to take photos so bring your camera phone if not a bigger camera!
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by David Alan Harvey
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 18, 2013 | Pete Cashmere, Social Media - 2013 |
Just between you and me, this post is about privacy.
Naked Long Ago
I once got in a bit of trouble for showing a naked picture of myself to someone. We had a conversation about my burn scars and how I had had them so long I didn’t really remember what I looked like without them. Later I came across a long ago photo, taken in high school, of me about to go skinny dipping by jumping off a boat into the water. It was the last photo I remember that showed my body with no scars. Since I was facing away from the camera and my wiener wasn’t showing I thought it would be no big deal to show it to this person. I was wrong. And that was just a single printed image, not a digital image that is traveling around the world at a million miles a second.
Naked Now
Imagine being Prince Harry at a party in Vegas? That was a bit more exposure than he wanted, that’s for sure. Even his sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambridge, sunbathing miles out in the middle of nowhere, got photographed with her boobies exposed. Luckily for both of them the public had their fun and then left it alone. Seeing Harry’s fella and Kates bosom is trivial and inconsequential.
But think about the rape case in Ohio that just was at trial this past week. If it weren’t for social media in images and words, the rape would likely never have been found out and the victim would not have had justice done. Two young men were found guilty in large part due to twitter, youtube and other social media engagements that allowed a trail of evidence and memory to be fitted together. Social media helped find the truth.
The Middle of Nowhere is Everywhere
Social media imagery is everywhere. If you do something bad, especially in a group, there is a very good chance it will be exposed beyond the borders of the party or event and you will be found out, and that is good. But if you do something good and innocent, like skinny dipping, there is also a chance of being exposed well beyond the borders of the swimming hole and that might be bad.
Morals of the story? 1. Be careful with your image, naked or otherwise. 2. Use the images you have to make things better when you can.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Pete Cashmore, Founder of Mashable.com
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 17, 2013 | Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts - 2012-2013 |
Last we saw the Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts they were avoiding watching the Saleslady and the Bartender do things with body parts they know longer had. This is what happened the next day.
The next day the bodyless ghirl ghosts decided to get clean. Since they don’t have clothes they only have to clean themselves and their hair. Their preferred way to do this is to bob in a bubble bath as it fills, before the person who is filling it comes back to take his or her own bath. They try to get out of the tub and be gone before that happens but occasionally they forget and are still in among the bubbles when the person gets in. Some of the ghirl ghosts actually like that, and they float around the person’s body, rubbing up against parts, being naughty. Greta, the sexy Ghirl Ghost likes it best and the other ghirl ghosts often have to come back to get her. Especially if its a man in the tub. She likes making his body parts change shape and him having no idea why. She also likes to do that on busses at the most inconvenient time, right before the man is about to stand up to get off. She’s naughty, like I said.
They do this by going into strangers’ houses or apartments. But this day the hotel they were staying at had a busted water heater and so there was no hot water anywhere in the whole hotel. They decided to go to the laundromat they saw down the street and see if they could get in one of the washers. They had seen the washers with the big front windows with a lot of soapy bubbles and thought that would work just fine.
They noticed a father with his young daughter about to put their clothes in one of the big tumbling machines. The door was open so while the father separated the clothes and the daughter checked all the pockets for change and gum, they floated in. They hid in the back of the washer until the door closed. Then they started talking, wondering if they would get as clean as in a bathtub. The father put the quarters in the machine and started it up.
The ghirl ghosts were excited, they had never washed themselves in a washing machine before. They were looking forward to all the nice hot soapy water sloshing all around. But that was not what they got. What they got was cold water. Very cold water. The father was about to set it to hot when the daughter reminded him that the load was all delicates and had to be washed on cold. The ghirl ghosts were not happy. They also had not really looked close at what a front loading washing machine does. They thought they would be jiggled back and forth a little bit. But instead they were tumbled. A lot. They got very very dizzy and cold and were not having fun.
Sharita looked out the window of the washing machine and saw the daughter pointing into the window and looking at her father. Sharita could barely hear her above the bubbly din of the machine. She thought she heard her say, “Look Daddy, there are a whole bunch of ghosts in the machine!”
The father peered in and said, “That’s funny I can’t see them. What do they look like?”
The daughter said, “You can’t see them? They are right there!” By this time all the ghirl ghosts were looking out the window staring at her.
They all started to yell and scream that they were cold and dizzy and wanted the machine to stop. The daughter looked at the dad and said, “Daddy, I can here them, they are cold and dizzy and want us to stop the machine so they can get out!”
The father responded, “Well, I guess we better do that then.” and stopped the machine, opened the door and said, “Ok, ghosts come on out, you are free!”
The ghosts all said “THANK YOU!” very load and flew out of the machine. The daughter told her father, “Did you hear that? They said thank you!”
The father said, “Well, I am sure they are thankful, I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a cold washing machine, would you?”
“NO!” said the daughter as they started the machine back up.
The 13 Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts immediately flew out into the street and back to their hotel, which by that time had fixed the hot water heater. They went from bathroom to bathroom taking warm bubble baths the rest of the day. Greta especially had a very fun time!
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman, who once had a birthday present hidden in a washing machine when he was nine. It was a sleeping bag.
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 16, 2013 | Born Day - 2013 |
Yes, it’s two for one this week. Caitlin AND Linda both have birthdays. Now you know why it’s Happy Born Day week!
To Linda on Her Birthday
Linda took a trip,
Around the sun this year.
She didn’t try to hide,
She faced it without fear.
She’s taken the trip before,
More than a few.
And since it can’t be helped,
She tries to enjoy the view.
It isn’t always easy,
She wouldn’t mind if it didn’t change.
But she knows that’s not happening,
So she tries to stretch her range.
And that is what I love,
Because I know it’s hard,
That she does her very best,
And has come so very far.
She embraces that the new,
Will always be right here.
She knows that she can take it,
And embrace it far or near.
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Happy Birthday to Linda!
Love, Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 15, 2013 | Born Day - 2013 |
I must admit, it’s day #5 of Happy Born Day week!
First, a Question
I want your opinion on this. What do you think of these two elements, a woman sometimes not wanting to admit her age and a man often not acting his? Is it as gender based as the quote states? Are you the opposite, a woman who doesn’t act her age or a man who lies about his? How did that come about? Think about it, read my take on it, and let me know what your take on it is, ok?
My Age Confession
I find myself sometimes not wanting to admit my age, which is 58 as of 2013. Then other times I take great pride in it. Sometimes it’s due to the audience. If I am talking to the runners I coach I readily admit my age because I want them to see that age is not an excuse to not be fit. But if I am talking to professionals in my arena of business I sometimes think twice because I worry that they might see me as too old to participate in a discussion about parenting for example, or a panel about social media, since, given my age, I might be out of the loop on those things.
But the truth is I have set it up so I couldn’t hide my age if I wanted. My birthday is out in the world, when the moment arrives for me to divulge my age I do so with minimal hesitation, even if I do have a bit of worry. It takes one more thing out of my ‘worry equations’ early on and I can get on with the business at hand. What happens happens.
The First Lie
I wrote that confession above so you would know I am not thinking it is only women who don’t like to admit their age at times. But it is true that overall I find women are much more likely to hesitate about saying their age. Why is that and does it really matter? I think it matters a bit. I would like to think I have an honest enough relationship with whatever woman I am talking to that if the matter of her, or my, age comes up we would just say it and move on. But, while I would prefer to know the truth, it isn’t, in most cases, a crucial element in the relationship.
The Second Lie
But what about men? A woman might say she is 45 and actually be 50. But a man who IS 45 but acts 20 is inflicting a far more grievous offense on whoever he is relating to. Why is that? Because he looks 45 and can pretend to be emotionally or developmentally 45, but in truth he is acting. His true age, his true development, was stunted at age 20 and over time he is going to act 20 quite often.
Buyer Beware
What does that mean? It means ‘buyer beware’. This sounds terrible crude and cruel to put the onus on the woman to find out a man’s true emotional and developmental age, but it is the truth. A woman has to be in a relationship long enough and with a clear enough mind to be able to discern who is this guy, really? Not what does he look like, or what job he holds, but what age does he act? If a woman wants a baby who she needs to clean up after, who is constantly making a mess of his own life and the lives of those he should be watching over, then she should choose one of those developmentally stunted men. But how many women REALLY want that man? Not many.
The Triple Play Trap
So why do so many women end up with those men? I think it’s because they are either thinking all men are like that, they think it’s part of the devil’s bargain they have to make to be ‘taken care of’ or they think the man will change once they are married. None of those reasons are very good ones if you ask me.
The Questions Revisited
Once again, here are my questions to you: What do you think of these two elements, a woman sometimes not wanting to admit her age and a man often not acting his? Is it as gender based as the quote states? Are you the opposite, a woman who doesn’t act her age or a man who lies about his? How did that come about?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who once lied about his height by one inch and got busted on a first date.
Quote by Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Mar 14, 2013 | Blair Sobel, Born Day - 2013 |
Don’t act like you didn’t know day #4 of Happy Born Day week wasn’t upon you!
Born
We are born and our parents instinctively know we are like them in many ways, even as a crinkly naked newborn. But we don’t know that. We spend our youth discovering we are individuals. We grow into young adults striving to create our own identity. We spend our 20s promising ourselves we will not be like our parents in many ways.
Born Again
Then we turn 30, or maybe it’s some other age, but there is that moment when you realize you are your parents. Slightly modified, slightly mutated, slightly taller, slightly smarter, slightly healthier. But even with all those slightlies you realize you so essentially consist of who they are that to try to deny it is futile.
Born Again Again
And then something more dramatic happens. You realize once again that you aren’t your parents. You have them in you, but you aren’t them. You can decide to not drink so much. You can decide to be a better parent, or make more money, or be out in nature more. You can decide to be like them or not, depending on if you like who they are or not. You are not gripped by the genome as tight as you might think. You can retain, discard, expand, modify. It’s within your control. Keep the best, get rid of the rest.
Born
And all the while you are going through that process, your kids are repeating it in front of your eyes. Life happens that way.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is the son of Skeets and Lee Coleman.
Quote by Blair Sabol, a very interesting character – Read up on her.
Blair Sabol by Wayne Thiebaud – Oil on canvas – 1965
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Here’s a picture of the Comet I took last night.
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