She thought she was XX because of church but thought she was XY because of God.
The End.
The sermon caused her to search for her spiritual identity in the stars, not on the ground.
The End
She obsessed over Wor all during the service and didn’t regret it.
The End
© 2020 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Drawings © 2020 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
She couldn’t decide.
She wanted to go to the Forum where she could show off her new hairdo and earrings and watch wrestling and talk and eat and flirt and listen to people say profound things and maybe get a mani/pedi. She would see her friends and have fun, laughing and enjoying the day.
She didn’t want to walk all the way up the hill and look at disgusting dead people on crucifixes all by herself. It was hot and her feet would get dirty and there would be flies and vermin and the smell would be aweful. Plus, people might see her up there and think she is somehow connected to those dead people and then people would start talking and not want to be around her.
She stood there a long time before she made her choice.
The End
Drawing and short story © 2020 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
I think this might make an interesting T-shirt for a lot of interesting women. They are busy with their interesting lives, doing interesting things and aren’t interested in men being interested in them just because they look interesting.
© 2020 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
La and Fa – The Story of a Disaster
The music said La but he thought Fa and as a result the concert was a disaster.
The End
© 2020 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
© 2020 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
© 2020 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
The Shape She Was In
She was nervous singing in front of the congregation because she didn’t like her shape. Her hips were too small and her shoulders and chest were too big. Her knees were too knobby and her feet were too small. Her hands were too manly and her lips were too thin. She knew everyone was looking at her shape and judging it. She knew they thought she had a terrible shape and were laughing at her.
But she went out and sang anyway because she loved the song and thought it was such a good message about letting God shape you instead of being shaped by something or someone else. She had been liberated when she first realized she wasn’t a slave to culture or society or anything else. She could choose to be shaped by something greater than those things. It had transformed her life.
When she got off stage and the service was over she went to the furniture store to buy a new coffee table. She didn’t like the one she had because it was an odd shape. It was square and didn’t fit well in her living room. When she went in the furniture store a nice lady came up and asked her if she could help her find something. The lady had a very nice shape to her face, sort of heart shaped with a pointed chin and bee sting lips, which she always thought were the perfect shape for lips. She wished for years she had lips shaped like that and would have gotten lip injections to make hers that shape if she could afford it. She wondered if lips shaped like that were nice to kiss and thought if she was a man she would want to kiss lips like that. She bought a table that had a nice shape and was very happy.
When she was done at the furniture store she went to the gym to get in shape. She was out of shape since her family had got all bent out of shape about something or other, she forgot what. But now it was a new year and she was going to get in shape. When she got dressed into her workout clothes she noticed all the women who were in shape. They were in better shape than she was and it bummed her out. She wanted to be in shape like they were. She decided to do a weight lifting class because she heard it got you in shape really fast. It was very hard because she was so out of shape but she did it anyway. The women in the shower in the locker room after the workout were all in good shape. One of them who had been in the class with her said, ‘You did good today. Don’t worry you will be in great shape before you know it.’ That made her feel good and bad. Good because she was noticed, bad because she was noticed because she wasn’t in good shape.
As she drove home she came upon a car accident. It looked like the car had hit a guard rail, that was all crumpled and out of shape, and then a light pole that was also out of shape. She stopped her car and immediately called 911 and told them where she was and told the dispatcher the car was in really bad shape. She ran up to the car and saw someone in the front seat. It was the furniture lady and she was in bad shape. She was bleeding from a ragged shaped cut on her forehead, her lip was cut wide open and her arm was shaped funny, like it had been broken. She was able to pull the door open after three really strong pulls and got the furniture lady out and moved her off the road into the grass. She ran back to her car and grabbed her first aid kit from her trunk and found a perfectly shaped piece of gauze to cover her cut. She found another, smaller piece, that was just the right shape to cover her lip but still allow her to breathe. She laid her down in her lap and talked to her, telling her she was going to be ok and would be back in tip top shape in no time.
The ambulance came in just a few minutes and took over. The medical people got her in the best shape they could to transport her and then they were all gone. She went home and collapsed on her couch and fell asleep in an odd shape and woke up 10 hours later with a crick in her neck.
The End
© 2020 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Mary and Martha had some time to spare before Jesus and the boys came to visit later in the week so they decided to go to the spa and pamper themselves. They did mani-pedis, massage, hot yoga, a salt room and finally a facial.
The facial consisted of an oatmeal and Frankincense Oil mask that was a popular anti-wrinkle compound of the day followed by an olive oil facial massage.
Mary enjoyed the entire day, indulging and relaxing in the serene environment. Martha tried to enjoy it but was only partially successful. She was too worried about the arrival of their guests and all the work that had to be done beforehand.
She also was annoyed by the stupid halo that was always lighting up her sister’s head. Mary was always the one people liked and talked to. She was a flirt and a social butterfly and it drove Martha crazy. She didn’t contribute nearly as much to making meals, cleaning up, getting the place ready. All she did was talk talk talk and get attention.
Martha meanwhile did most of the work and was ignored. “How could that be fair?”, she thought to herself. If that happened when Jesus and the gang came to visit she was going to give them all a piece of her mind.
The End
Drawing and Short Story © 2019 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com