by Marty Coleman | Nov 5, 2012 | The Illustrated Colonoscopy - 2012 |
And finally I win something – even if I made it up myself!
I Was NOT Loopy
So I went through the colonoscopy procedure last week. I remember the anesthesiologist asking me what I did for a living and me saying I was the Napkin Dad, then I blanked out. I woke up and the nurse and Linda were there. I got my clothes on a few minutes later and was out the door. When I got in the car Linda said I had been pretty loopy after the procedure. I didn’t think I had been.
Oh, Yes You Were!
Later, we went to lunch and she started telling me about the Dr. coming in and saying how I had no polyps, nothing wrong at all. That I looked great and should keep eating what I am eating, etc. I stopped her and said, “When did we talk to the Dr?” She started to laugh and said, “He was in the recovery room, he was there for about 5-10 minutes telling us all sorts of things. You were Mr. Chatty, asking him the same questions again and again about all sorts of things, in particular you wanted to know exactly what diverticulitis was. He explained it to you and then you would ask another question about it. Then you went on and on about being a runner and about how you were going to run on Sunday with Lora and other people. Then you explained it again about how you were going to run with Lora. You were quite loopy.” I had NO recollection of that AT ALL. Very odd. Makes me wonder what else I said!
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who has to get another one in 7 years.
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Fact of the day
Diverticulitis happens when pouches form in the wall of the colon. If these pouches get inflamed or infected, it is called diverticulitis.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 2, 2012 | The Illustrated Colonoscopy - 2012 |
This is in the public interest.
Unconscious Self-Portrait
Here I am getting my colonoscopy today. It was uneventful, mostly because I was knocked out. The last thing I remember was the anesthesiologist asking me what I did for a living. I told her I was the Napkin Dad. She said, ‘Oh, I know who you are’ and boom, I was out. Afterwards they said I had a very nice colon and had nothing to worry about. That’s good news. Linda says I was a bit loopy afterwards but she always thinks I am so that isn’t that strange.
The rest of the day I supposedly was going to be taking a nap, knocked out by the drugs, but nope, I have been working away on various things ever since I got home. I have a feeling I will go to bed early though.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who also was knocked out in 1973 when I had skin taken off my butt for skin grafts after me being burned. This time was easier.
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Fact of the day
I was knocked out with drug that killed Michael Jackson, scary!
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 1, 2012 | The Illustrated Colonoscopy - 2012 |
I am flush with excitement over my first colonoscopy tomorrow!
The Long & Winding Road
Yes, I am getting a colonoscopy tomorrow. It isn’t due to any issues, just part of my annual physical. My last annual physical was 7 or so years ago and I didn’t have a colonoscopy that time around. My wife has been insisting I do this for many many years and finally it is being done.
Polyp Want a Cracker?
The fun part of this is today, or so I have heard. Today I get to be on a liquid diet all day (but that includes jello so all is right with the world). In the afternoon I take a magic elixir of frog brains and newt tongue and it will miraculously make my escape tunnel be all clear. Tomorrow the guy in the white coat and some other people in other colored clothing will search the same tunnel to see if there is anything for them, or me, to worry about. This is most likely going to consist of either nothing or little protuberances called polyps. This polyps are sort of like the weird fish in the aquarium that stay in the sand at the bottom and poke their heads out just a little bit to get little teeny weenie things to eat. If they find some of these pokey outey things they will snip them off with an official mini-snipper.
The Big Soft Hammer
The bad news would be if they found something bigger, like a tumor. Then they would tell me I need to get it taken out with something bigger than the official mini-snipper. That would suck so let’s hope that doesn’t happen. I won’t know what they found until later because I will be knocked out by the knocker outer person. They use a big, but soft, hammer to do it I have been told.
Loopy Is as Loopy Does
They said I will be loopy and will need someone to drive me home. My wife, Linda, will do that and laugh at me all the way home because I will say things like, ‘so, I think a horse would make a good tattoo for me on my face’ or ‘should we stop at the red cross and donate some pencils? Then I get to go home and do nothing in my loopy state except watch TV. I am only suppose to watch loopy shows though, so it will all make sense and I won’t freak out. Above you can see an accurate rendition of what I am expecting to look like this afternoon. Fun.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who was last knocked out for a medical procedure in 1975 when I got me wisdom teeth taken out.
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