by Marty Coleman | Aug 27, 2014 | Fitness & Health, Samuel Johnson |
The Problem
Yesterday I did a photo shoot in a park filled with gigantic rocks and steep, narrow trails. There were gnarled tree roots trailing all over the ground and the rocks, loose branches and dirt were everywhere, and the heat was well into the 90s. My friend and model, Brittany, was doing yoga poses for me in what was essentially a scouting trip for a future group photo shoot I will lead later this year.
I investigated the park beforehand and found it was a mecca for local rock climbers. As I read up on that I found something interesting. Each rock climb a person does seems to be called a ‘Problem’. And that makes sense to me. It’s a problem to be solved. How to get up and get down the rock.
Suffering for Art
We had a great time and got some fantastic shots. At the very end we had to ascend a pretty steep trail covered with roots. I had a two photo bags and attempted to make it up without putting them down. Brittany even asked if she should hold them while I went up. As I said no, I lost my balance and fell/slid back down the trail. I only went down maybe 10-15 feet so it was no big deal but somehow I hyperextended my left middle finger and got a small gash on my palm while trying to hold on to my bags and catch my balance. I then gave her the bags and tried again, successfully this time.
The finger felt pretty stiff and it didn’t want to bend all that much. But I knew it wasn’t broken so we finished up the shoot and went and had a nice lunch. I showed it to my wife when she got home last night. It was the illustration for my narrative about the shoot and the environment.
The Hard Working Muse
Brittany meanwhile escaped without injury. But she didn’t escape without plenty of ‘problems’. She did incredibly hard work hiking, climbing and posing in heat that was above 90º by the time we were done. She balanced on very high rocks. She crawled under low tree limbs through the dirt. She held intense poses on undulating tree roots halfway up rock faces. She planked over dry gullies while perched on two small flat rocks feet away from each other. All the while she was trying her best to look good, pose well, keep from slipping due to sweat being all over her, keep from laughing, keep from keeling over from dehydration (we had plenty of water, don’t worry. But it was REALLY hot!) . She figured out the solution to a multitude of problems. It was amazing to watch her work.
Here is one of the photos of Brittany to give you an idea of what it was like.
Parsva Bakasana – Side Crane Pose
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What Remains
Sometimes misfortune or ‘problem’ is what we really remember. Brittany and I will always have the photos to view years later, and that will be great. But the story we tell about the day will be filled with how difficult and harsh the environment was and how much fun we had finding the solutions to the multitude of problems we set for ourselves.
That is the essence of great storytelling after all, right?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Samuel Johnson, 1709 – 1784, English
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“Depend on it that if a man talks about his misfortunes there is something in them that is not disagreeable to him.”
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 23, 2014 | Sketchbook History Tour |
Creativity Coaching
Part of my Napkin Dad plan for 2014 and beyond is being a Creativity Coach. I have been an art and drawing instructor at the college level, have lectured locally and nationally on everything from Photography to ‘Coping with Change’, have been writing advice and insights on creativity on this blog for over 6 years and I have been hired a number of times to help people one on one to implement their ideas in fashion, social media, real estate and branding.
In one form or another, I’ve been a creativity coach most of my life. There is more information about this at the end of the story.
Marla
I met Marla for lunch recently at Cosmo Cafe in Brookside. We had met a number of years before when I had been doing a project called ‘In Public/In Private’ about reporters and anchors in the Tulsa area. At the time she was kind enough to share some of her poetry with me and I thought it was pretty good.
Creative Block
Fast forward a few years and recently I asked her how the poetry was going. She mentioned it was tough to find the time and I gave an encouraging word or two, hoping to help motivate her to write some more. We set a time to meet to talk about her writing and how she might be able to move forward with it.
I asked a number of questions about her creative process; how she goes about being creative, what works and what doesn’t, and that led us on to possible directions, experiments and exercises she could do to build momentum in her creative pursuits, both at work and on her own time.
Small Steps
As a running coach for the last 4 years I have learned the value of small steps. No one goes from couch to marathon. They go from couch to 5k. And that takes 12 weeks. And it’s hard. They can get to whatever distance they want but it happens in small increments.
The same is true of creativity development. If we are stuck, we often want a BIG PLAN to get unstuck. But the big plan, while maybe great for ultimate creative career goals, is not going to be effective in bringing out your creativity. Why? Well, big plans are pretty intimidating, they take a lot of time, and there’s the demon of high expectations looming over it all. It’s very easy to become paralyzed by the intensity of the process.
But small steps are doable. You don’t have to shout them to the world, you don’t have to get some ego validation for it because it took so much out of you. All you have to do it write that one line, draw that one drawing, sing or play that one song. The rest will take care of itself.
As part of our coaching collaboration, we plan to meet a number of times over the rest of the year. The purpose is to build on the momentum she has started, explore avenues for creativity in her work and her private life, and, most importantly, keep taking those small steps.
Drawing
As is the case often with reporters, she had to take a number of calls and texts during our lunch. I used the time to draw her.
Marla Working Her Phones
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Here she is after I had done the original line drawing.
Marla with Drawing
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Your Turn
If you need a jump start in some area of your creative life, I would love to help you. You might want honest feedback about something you have created in a safe, supportive environment. You might want to talk about where you can go with your creative output. Perhaps you have put your creativity on the shelf and don’t know how to take it down off the shelf and get it to work again.
Whatever it is, I can help you. contact me at marty@napkindad.com or 918-760-0581 and we can talk about the particulars.
Creatively,
Marty
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 21, 2014 | Rob Lowe |
Thanks to Rob Lowe for his story and the quote.
Empty Nest
My daughters are all long gone from the household. The eldest left for college in the East Coast in 2000. The youngest left for college in 2008. I remember the last one really well. It was traumatic for my wife more than for me, but it was emotional for all of us.
A Father’s Wisdom
I was reminded of those emotions yesterday when I read a fantastic essay on a father’s first child leaving for college. It was exquisitely written, full of memories and love, heartbreak and pride. The father thought the son was bearing it all very well until after an introductory session with all the students and parents. The son turned to the father, with wet eyes giving him away, and said, “None of the other kids look scared at all.” The father said what I think is some of the best advice anyone can ever get when you are overwhelmed with emotion, “Never compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.”
The Inside is Not Out
It’s so easy to look at the bright colors, big smiles, hearty laugh, nice clothes, high energy and perfect style that is on the outside and think that is a reflection of the inside. And yes, sometimes it is. But we humans are FILLED with emotions and feelings, fears and worries, that never make it to our outer surface. They are deep swimmers in the middle of the ocean. They don’t venture to the surface often, if at all, and thus are never seen by others.
But rest assured, they are there whether you see them or not. Don’t assume, don’t judge. Just be open to discovering who those people around you really are. You will find if you dive down just a bit, their deep swimmers might come up and be seen.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote and memoir by Rob Lowe, 1964 – not dead yet, American actor.
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 20, 2014 | Proverbs, Well Wealth - 2011 |
Not to be hasty, but we are on #3 of Wealth Week!
Metaphor
The drawing above is a metaphor for how some people will hurt and manipulate others in their pursuit of wealth. They are consumed with it and nothing will stop them. They will metaphorically murder someone who gets in their way.
No Metaphor
And at other times it is not a metaphor at all. People really do murder to get their hands on wealth. History is full of stories of that sort of lust that blinds the person to moral or ethical boundaries. Movies and books are filled with fictional and true exploits of those who pursue money at any expense.
Drive
What is it that drive a person to that point? Why does the husband or wife kill their spouse for the insurance money? Why does the dictator send his country’s young men to death in war to get to gold or oil or land? How do you control your desire for wealth? What keep you from becoming that person?
I wish I knew why it happens and how to stop it because it certainly is one of the most pernicious and destructive impulses humans have and we would be so much better off with that under some sort of control and balance on the planet.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is from the Old Testament, Proverbs 28:20
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 19, 2014 | Marty Coleman, Well Wealth - 2011 |
I hope you survive day #2 of Wealth Week!
The Good Old Poor Days
One of the things you can be most confident of when listening to an older couple talk about their lives together is that there will eventually be a moment in the story telling when one of them says, “We had nothing and were broke almost all the time, but we had love and fun in our household.” It’s not a universal, and there are people who will also say those days were terrible. But many will look back fondly on having overcome the adversity of little money, a crappy apartment, a lousy first job, or any number of other things that can befall us.
When my first wife and I started our family we lived in a pretty crappy 90 year old rental home in downtown San Jose, California. There was 2 bedrooms, one bathroom, a pretty ugly backyard. We had mostly hand-me-down furniture and inexpensive or handmade clothing and other items around the house. The 3 girls all lived in the same room. I worked 3 jobs, my wife worked one on and off, and we barely made ends meet. But still it worked out pretty well, the kids were happy and we enjoyed our lives.
The Bad New Rich Days
We moved to Oklahoma in 1994 when I got a new job. The cost of living was SO LOW that we were able to buy a big 4 bedroom house for the same price we were paying rent. We weren’t wealthy by any means, but we certainly were prospering compared to back in San Jose. And with that came not more satisfaction, but more dissatisfaction. My wife reached her relationship breaking point with me within a few years of being in Tulsa and the marriage broke apart as a result.
There were other elements to the break up besides money, but my wife especially was more than a little uncomfortable with a bigger house in the suburbs and all that went with it. As a matter of fact, when we separated she bought a very small house much more like the one we had in San Jose than the bigger suburban house were were living in. This was partly due to finances of course, but it was also the type of house she had mentioned she wanted many times as we drove around the Tulsa area in the years before our split.
Question:
Why is it that many of us have such a hard time with prosperity? What is it that happens to make us more dissatisfied when logically everything should be pointing us to a greater level of satisfaction?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is mine and is an interpretation of a longer quote by Alan Gregg
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“Humans are great at surviving adversity, not so great at surviving prosperity”
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