by Marty Coleman | Jun 26, 2014 | Marcus Aurelius |
Don’t be insulted but it’s the last day of The Illustrated Insult.
The ‘Slut’
There once was a woman, Natalie, who found out, second hand through her friend Sandy, that another friend, Lisa, had called her a slut. This was said because Natalie had gone out on a date with Ben, who bragged to a mutual friend, Sam, about his conquest. Sam in turn told Lisa. Lisa was upset about this and and ranted to Sandy. Sandy then mentioned it to Natalie at a party the next night.
Response #1
Natalie was hurt by this. The reason she was hurt was she knew that Ben had lied. He had not ‘conquered’ her (meaning had sex with her). She also knew he had told Sam he had done so as to make Natalie look bad. She didn’t know why, but he obviously hated her for some reason. Sam had to hate her too and also wanted to wreck her reputation. As a matter of fact all four of her ‘friends’ weren’t her friends at all, they hated her.
Natalie left the party, cried long into the night and isolated herself for the rest of the weekend. She stayed distant from them all and others in her circle of friends. When she did return to the fold she wasn’t the same. She remained angry and eventually she drifted away from the group and spent the rest of her year pretty much on her own. She found it hard to make friends for a long time, always suspicious that her trust was misplaced.
Response #2
Natalie was hurt by this. The reason she was hurt was she knew that Ben had lied. He had not ‘conquered’ her (meaning had sex with her). But she also knew he had told Sam he had done so as to make himself look good. She didn’t know why, but he obviously felt inferior to Sam and wanted to prove himself somehow. It wasn’t good that he had lied, but she felt bad that he would go to such lengths. He had some issues he needed to deal with that had nothing to do with her. She know that Sam always felt on the edge of the group of friends. Him finding out about this supposed conquest would give him an in with a girl he had a crush on, Lisa, so it made sense he would tell her. This also wasn’t good, but it certainly didn’t say anything about how he felt about her. She knew Lisa had just had a pregnancy scare earlier in the year and had preached to her about making sure she didn’t make the same mistake she had made. Now Lisa had heard Natalie HAD made the same mistake and so had likely just gone off on a rant, calling her a slut the same way she had been called a slut by some just a few months earlier. Natalie also knew Lisa had a short temper and that her parents were extremely judgmental of almost everyone. Natalie also knew Sandy was everyone’s confidant and she would listen to anything. The fact that Sandy had told her what Lisa said was more about Sandy thinking she was being a friend that it was her trying to hurt anyone.
Natalie stayed at the party. When Ben showed up she brought him aside and told him what she had heard. She looked him straight in the eye and told him that not only was their friendship over but she would expect to hear from Sam, Lisa and Sandy that he had gone to them all and said he had lied. She doubted he would really do that but she wanted him to know she was in control, not him. She eventually talked to Sam and Lisa, explaining what actually happened. She left it at that. It made her a bit wary of her friends for a while but she not only kept their friendship over time but rose high in their eyes as a woman of character and someone they admired and trusted.
Rejecting Injury
How did Natalie reject this injury? She did it by assuming the best motives and understanding the weaknesses of her friends. She approached them, in spite of the hurt, with love and kindness instead of hatred and anger.
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Drawing and Story by Marty Coleman
Quote by Marcus Aurelius, 121AD – 180AD, Roman Emperor, Stoic Philosopher
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Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 25, 2014 | Fitness & Health |
Hola Napkin Kin,
Hey, look who got profiled in Oklahoma Sports and Fitness magazine. Many thanks to Betsy Penturf for writing an article that makes me look better than I am!
Check it out, let me know what you think. http://www.oksportsandfitness-digital.com/publication/?i=213773&p=18
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 23, 2014 | Sigmund Freud, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
I would be insulted if you didn’t look at offering #4 of ‘The Illustrated Insult’ series!
Sticks and Stones
I’ve let words stop my progress in life a LOT more than I’ve let physical setbacks. You wouldn’t think so given my physical history. I cut myself falling over things hundreds times as a kid, stubbed my toe every day, got sunburnt, fell off bikes and skateboards regularly. I bodysurfed my way into faceplants in the sand, snow skied into trees going down expert slopes I never should have been on, kicked sprinklers hidden in ivy while running full bore looking for a lost tennis ball. I’ve run marathons that had me wiped out and promising to never run one again. And of course there was the boat explosion I’ve mentioned before where I was blown up and burned on 70% of my body.
None of these physical accidents, stupidities, injuries, wounds, etc. ever help me back from anything (once I recovered of course). I didn’t move ahead with doubt or fear. Maybe I moved forward with a bit of wisdom (I hope) but I still felt confident I could tackle whatever I wanted, including those same things that had caused the injury.
Words Will Ever Hurt Me
But here is the curious thing, I have let my career be stopped again and again by words. Harsh words of critique, the absent words of praise, the second-hand words of gossip, the unspoken but assumed words of disdain or condescension, the ‘helpful’ words of correction. Why is it that I, someone supposedly confident (and I am to a large degree) is stopped in his tracks by mere words? Why are these such powerful insults to my psyche? What is the difference between ‘sticks and stones’ and ‘words’?
I would like to hear your ideas and stories about this.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian Neurologist and Psychoanalyst
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The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 19, 2014 | Anonymous, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
Mickey and Me
Ever since I was a kid I was told I looked like Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees. My buddies and I convinced a clerk at a McDonalds once that I was his younger brother and she gave me a free coke because of it. I even had someone put his photo on my FB page claiming he was my doppelganger.
Hot or Not
Now, if you ask me, I don’t think Mickey is all that handsome. And those who say I look like him aren’t necessarily giving me a compliment, they could easily think he isn’t all that handsome either. They may think he is, as I do, sort of squinchy-faced, a bit too rough and blockhead looking, for their taste. Then again, they may find him very handsome. Plenty of people have, after all. I can assume then, that among those same people, some find me handsome, some don’t.
So, that made me wonder how others thought about this. What about you? Do you find those who look like you attractive, ugly or something else altogether?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who also has been told he’s looked like the following over his life; Taylor Lautner (played Jacob in Twilight), Butch Patrick (played Eddie on The Munsters), Brandon Cruz (played Eddie on ‘Courtship of Eddie’s Father ), Jason Alexander (played George Costanza on Seinfeld), Steve Martin, Tommy Smothers and “you know, that guy in the movies…what’s his name?”
Quote is Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 17, 2014 | George Eliot, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
I am crowing about today being day #2!
Cock a Doodle Doo
Last year my wife and I went to St. John in the US Virgin Islands. It was a fantastic vacation with only one thing that wasn’t great; cocks. We were staying in a beautiful cottage that was up a steep road, overlooking Coral Bay. Down below were small homes of full timers who lived and worked on the island. And they all had roosters. A lot of roosters. And all these cocks crowed. Some didn’t just crow when the sun rose. A few started crowing at about 2am and they didn’t stop crowing sometimes until maybe 6pm. That is a lot of crowing. Luckily it was an almost an imperceptible background noise during the day. It was only at night that it was annoying, waking us up. We unfortunately had to close the sliding glass door to muff the sound instead of being able to enjoy the beautiful night air.
Cocky Men
It occurred to me that this all day cock crowing was an appropriate analogy for some men. Some men crow when they get up, some men crow at other parts of the day. But there are some men who just crow all the time. They might crow incessantly because they are horny, or angry, or insecure, or power hungry or something else. But the one thing they all have in common, no matter their root motivation, is they want all the attention all the time. And they think they deserve it. ‘The world revolves around me and deservedly so’ is their spoiled thought.
Enabling
Where does this come from? If I had to guess, it would often be from an enabling mom and dad. The mom feeds the boy everything they need, always making them the center of attention, never demanding they share the limelight with others, or share the work load of life. It’s a peculiar form of enabling and spoiling mothers can sometimes do (it’s not restricted to boys, girls can be raised the same way). And how do dads contribute to this? By being a grown up little boy, also not sharing the limelight or the workload.
Another reason is very likely simple hormones. A horny guy is going to crow. He may not crow about sex, as a matter of fact he probably won’t be crowing about sex, but he is likely going to crow about something; maybe work, maybe family, maybe sports. In other words, men can be real dicks until there is some resolution (or distraction) for his issue. This isn’t about all men of course, but it’s about enough men to make it worth taking note.
Sexual Assault and Rape
If it was just a lot of talk, it would be bad enough, but in light of all the college campus and church issues of sexual assault and rape (to name just two areas of concern) you can see it leads to not just blustering talk, but to terrible and damaging actions as well. It’s not a good thing and men need to take notice of it as a real and dangerous character trait of entitlement that needs to be put in it’s place by men who see it in action among their friends.
Who the Sun Actually Rises For
I have four daughters so I can’t say exactly what I would do with a son. But I have a pretty good idea that I would make sure he understood that the sun actually rose to greet his mother, not him, and he sure as heck better help his mom (and the rest of the family) if he wants to share some of that light.
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Drawing and Commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by George Eliot, 1819-1880, English author. George Eliot was the pen name for Mary Ann Evans.
George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)
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He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow
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