by Marty Coleman | Apr 11, 2014 | Pain & Suffering |
Is is weird to be happy that today is day #1 of my new ‘Pain and Suffering’ series?
Friends in Pain
Recently I posted the following on my Facebook profile.
“Recently I have talked to 4 friends in pain over relationships and where they are in life. I don’t like seeing my friends in pain but I love knowing them well enough to know that they can get through it. Pain isn’t forever, even if it feels that way.”
Many people ‘liked’ the post. I went through the list of those who liked it and found six more who I personally have talked to in the past few years about the pain they have suffered in relationships or some other aspect of their life. And those are just the ones I talked to directly. I suspect many who liked it have also gone through a lot of pain, I just don’t know the specifics. Then again, when I think about it, how many of us haven’t gone through pain in our relationships?
Out of the 10 I have talked to personally, 6 have gone through or are going through a divorce. Of the other 4, they either broke up with long term boyfriends or girlfriends or are contemplating doing so, or they were not on good speaking terms with their spouse last I talked to them. Many of them have other painful issues they are dealing with as well. Who knows about the others, but I suspect there was a lot of pain in all those ‘likes’.
Imagined Future
I went through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. It was painful. One of the things that hurt the most was the loss of an imagined future. Not one I planned in advance, but one I realized was gone once the divorce hit. People would say, ‘but you will have a new future and who knows, it might be even better.’ I didn’t really want to hear that because at first I couldn’t imagine it was true.
But it was true. I am in that new future now and it has many things in it that I could not have imagined back then. Not all of this future is perfect, of course not. But it is filled with love and value and meaning and support and creativity and purpose. I am not sure I could ask for much more than that, right? Could you?
How the Future
How did this future come to pass? Well, eventually I had to allow the past to be on it’s own. I had to say goodbye to it as a constant companion because it didn’t want me looking at a new future. It wanted me to only look at it. The past was a jealous mistress and I had to divorce myself from it as well. That doesn’t mean I don’t visit the past. I love much of my past. but just as I don’t sleep with my ex anymore, I don’t sleep with my past either. I have a new wife I sleep with and a new present and future that accompanies her.
What that means is I made room for discovering a new understanding of my life and my future. If you are willing to do that, you can discover something new and wonderful as well.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Khalil Gibran, 1883-1931, Lebanese born poet
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by Marty Coleman | Apr 8, 2014 | Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman |
A Short Short Story
Transcript:
5 seconds in her mind while we were in a church and she was in front of us and I watched her for a while before I made this up
Second One: I am alone, I am still cold, I wish I was married, I wonder if I am getting sick.
Second Two: I don’t think I am sick; it’s just allergies, I need to pay attention & eat better but lunch sounds good maybe a cheeseburger. No, a salad.
Second Three: No, maybe I will skip lunch and fast. I need to pray more so I can lose weight & be happier. Maybe just 20 pounds.
Second Four: But I am already happy I think because I am saved and that means I am going to not go to hell. I think I don’t chew well.
Second Five: But if I lose weight I will have to buy new clothes and I am broke. I am going to close my eyes now just for a little while then I will fell better again maybe.
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
Model unknown
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by Marty Coleman | Apr 4, 2014 | Marston Bates, Research - 2014 |
This may boomerang on me, but today it’s #5 in my Research series!
True But
I think this is true but incomplete. I think it must be added that it’s not always the alley that is blind, it’s the person in the alley who is.
Blind Alley, Blind Person
A researcher can contribute their own blindness or shortsightedness to the process of going down an investigative alley. At least I know this holds true in art. If I am not paying attention to everything around me I can think a place is devoid of creative potential. But the truth is there is probably a great deal of creative opportunities anywhere, if I am paying attention. I would think the same is true in research. Yes, you have something specific you are looking for, but you can not be blind to what else the alley offers.
Recognize, Then Edit
As you go on your research journey, no matter the field, keep your mind and senses open to what presents itself, even if it’s not completely on topic. That doesn’t mean you have to grab it and indulge in it. It’s just saying you know what it is that is in front of you and are open to what it might mean. Recognizing something and deciding to leave it behind is much better than never recognizing it in the first place.
See the rest of the Research series here. If you are interested in having them as posters or framed prints for your school or company, let me know!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Marston Bates, 1906-1974, American zoologist
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“Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind. “
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by Marty Coleman | Apr 3, 2014 | Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, Research - 2014 |
Do you see? Today is #4 in the Research series!
My Daughter Led the Way
One of the things I love about having a daughter who is a scientist is how it’s turned my attention to science as well. I read up on it as best I can and I like to watch shows on it. I don’t pretend to know much, but it’s an amazing path to follow, never ending in it’s ability to surprise.
Art and Science
I also find more and more how similar being a scientist is to being an artist. Yes, science has a certain rigor and a much more detailed protocol for everything that creating artwork usually doesn’t have, but the essence of discovery comes from the same spot in our minds. That spot is an open, non-judgmental space that tells us we are free to explore. Both scientists and artists believe that the joy of exploration is it’s own reward. But we also know another truth and that is that when you do explore with freedom, lack of fear and judgment, moral or otherwise, you are very likely to discover things of importance.
See the rest of the Research Series here. Scroll down to see them all.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1893-1986, Hungarian physiologist. Discoverer of Vitamin C and winner of the Nobel Prize in Medicine in 1937.
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by Marty Coleman | Apr 1, 2014 | Bill Watterson, Research - 2014 |
I hope you don’t think I am a jerk to tell you… today is day 3 in the Research series!
What would this field of research be in, anyway? What would the disease even be called? Do you think the government would give a grant for it?
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Drawing and questions by Marty Coleman
Quote by Bill Watterson, 1958 – not dead yet, American cartoonist, author of Calvin and Hobbes.
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