by Marty Coleman | Jan 31, 2014 | Harry Truman, Philosophy of Life - 2014 |
I, S**thead
One day long long ago, when my first wife and I were headed towards a divorce, My wife was out and I was upstairs in the computer room seething about the situation. I was really, really angry. At the same time downstairs my daughters were being really noisy with each other. They were annoying me to no end. Instead of being calm and civil about it I stomped downstairs and yelled at them. One of them asked something along the lines of ‘Why are you so angry?’. At that point I had gone into the kitchen and had started to unload the dishwasher. I had about 6 full size stoneware dinner plates in my hand. I blew up, threw the plates as hard as I could straight down on the kitchen floor and yelled, “Because your mother hasn’t loved me for most of our marriage and forgot to tell me, THAT’S why!”
My words, actions and the breaking of the plates froze them in place where they were in the living room, eyes and mouths wide open in disbelief. It obviously scared the s**t out of them. It was, in my opinion, the single worst behavior I ever exhibited in front of my kids and I deeply regret any emotional damage it did to this day.
I calmed down almost immediately, apologized and started to clean up the broken plates. My wife came home right then and asked what happened. One of the kids said I had dropped some plates and my wife thanked me for cleaning it all up. I considered not saying anything and just letting her believe I was doing a good deed. But I didn’t. I responded to her compliment by telling her the truth. She later said that was one of the critical moments of our final year that tilted her towards divorce.
Girls, if you are reading this, I am still really sorry I did that.
No Blame
Now, of course, there was no way for my kids to know I was a pile of fresh s**t having a hot emotional day. They were not to blame in the least for my incredibly stupid outburst. I tell the story to illustrate that most of the time when we are confronted with a s**thead acting s**tty we haven’t done anything purposely to provoke him or her. We are just in the wrong place at the wrong time and aren’t to blame.
Philosophy of Life, Really?
So, how is this a philosophy of life? Well, in the small sense, when we know we don’t have to do anything to have s**theads come across our path way too often, there’s no reason on earth to make life even harder by purposely provoking a s**thead, right?
In the larger sense, it’s as simple as this, don’t do stupid things on purpose.
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Drawing and life story by Marty Coleman
Quote by Harry S. Truman, 1884-1972, 33rd President of the United States
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 30, 2014 | History Lessons - 2012 |
The UCLA Interview
Back in the late 1980s I applied for a job as an Assistant Professor of Art at UCLA in California. I got an interview and it seemed to go well. The person interviewing me was the chair of the painting department and he said that the committee had been taken by how fresh and unique my work was, that it was refreshing to see. He seemed impressed with me and my work.
The Question
He then asked me something along the lines of ‘where does your work fit in art history, who has influenced you?’ After his praise for my work’s uniqueness the question caught me a bit off guard. On the one hand they wanted a one of a kind artist, on the other hand they wanted him or her to fit in with other artist and their work. My answer was pretty much that I stood alone. Yes, there were influences but I was not directly and tightly linked to a style or movement, an artist or group of artists. I was proud of that.
Not Too Original
I didn’t get the job. I tried to figure out why and I think it was that answer that did me in. They wanted a leaf that was part of a tree, not a leaf by itself. They were an institution that needed to promote originality to their students and the art world, but not so much originality that they couldn’t explain how the art and artist fit into the rest of the art world.
At first this annoyed me but as time went on and I matured it made perfect sense. Understanding where we are in history matters to people. It reassures them, it helps organize the world. It also protects them, sort of like a warranty. I no longer begrudge people who want to place me somewhere. I might not agree with them, but I understand the need.
Knowing My History
If I could do it over again I wouldn’t change my work at all. But I would change my awareness of how my work is part of a continuum of art and also a compendium of influences outside of art. That it actually did come from somewhere; bits and pieces of the art that was on my Grandfather’s walls for example. The cartoons I watched as a kid. The artists who emphasized simplicity and elegance in composition and line, like Edward Hopper and Henri Matisse. My inherited Irish gift of gab. The truth was I didn’t connect my personal history or my art history back to my artwork. I was a leaf not connected to the tree.
It’s great to be a unique leaf, but it’s also of value to know what tree you belong to.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Michael Crichton, 1942-2008, American author
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 29, 2014 | Marty Coleman, The Napkin's Guide to Happy Living |
You can’t be depressed knowing today is #7 in The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living, can you?
The Funeral Reason
When my ex-father in law died I attended the memorial service. I didn’t give a eulogy and I didn’t sing. It appeared as if I just sat and experienced others expressing themselves. But they weren’t doing it just for themselves, they were representing a community of people. Their expressions were on our behalf and that made it our expression as well.
Later, at the reception, I spoke briefly of my memory and love for this man. It was my own expression but from the smiles and laughs and tears I saw around me I knew my expression was more than just my own. We were all lifting each other.
It’s often said we have funerals and memorial services for closure. But I am not sure it’s the main reason. After all we don’t close the book on that person’s life and forget about them, do we? The main reason, in my mind, for a funeral is expression. Why is that? Because, expression is one of the most important ways to defeat depression.
Depression By Any Other Name
Just to be clear, I am not talking about the clinical definition, but the broad, lay meaning of depression as you might find in these statements; ‘I am depressed my BF broke up with me.’ ‘I am in a funk that I didn’t get the raise.’ ‘I am really bummed my great Aunt passed away.’ There are all sorts of ways to say it but, whatever the word, the sentiment is pretty much the same, you are depressed.
Expressive Ways
How do we express ourselves out of depression and back to happiness? We might listen to the music or write the music, see the art or create the art, read the book or write the book. But whatever we do, we take expressive action of some sort. THAT is the key. It’s in our expressive action that we start the ball rolling back towards happy living.
So, if you are depressed, go get your pencil and draw, stand up and sing, find your keyboard and play, get your laptop and write that short story. Whatever it is you do to express yourself, go do it, see if it doesn’t help bring you back to your happiness.
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Love – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #1
Courage – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #2
Home – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #3
Education – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #4
Transformation – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #5
Judging – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #6
Expression – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #7
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 28, 2014 | Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman |
The Shower in 1992
Prologue
Shannon was excited to go skiing but she didn’t realize until they got there that they were going to be living dorm style for the week. It made her nervous because she was very shy about her body.
Chapter One
The first 2 days she was able to avoid being in the bathroom when anyone else was by going very early in the morning to shower. Shannon freaked out the second morning when she heard the door open while she was washing her hair but whoever it was went to the bathroom quickly and left, leaving her alone again. She was relieved.
On the third morning she overslept and by the time she got into the bathroom someone was already in the shower. She was going to go back to the room and just forget the shower when the shower turned off and a woman emerged from it. She only had to take 2 steps to get her towel but she only took one step out and stood there. Shannon was frozen, looking in the mirror as the woman squeezed her hair to get out as much water as possible. She looked past the woman’s body to the snowy hills in the window above her. She could feel her face flush with embarrassment.
The woman, without looking at Shannon or asking if she was going to shower, said, “Sorry for taking so long but I think there is plenty of hot water left”. She grabbed a towel and started drying her hair.
Shannon, still looking anywhere but at the woman, said, “That’s ok, I don’t take long showers so it probably will last”.
Shannon’s body stiffened when she saw the woman take a step towards her, still with just one towel, which she had wrapped around her head. She could see her reach out her hand and knew she was going to introduce herself. She didn’t know what else to do but turn around and face her. She reached out her hand and the woman took it, saying, “Hi, my name is Sinann, what’s yours?” Shannon introduced herself in return. “Nice to meet you.” Sinann said as she turned back to get her second towel. She started to dry herself.
Sinann moved over a number of steps to a bench and said, “I’m out of your way, you can get in now.” Shannon was freaking out. She absolutely panicked anytime she anticipated people seeing her body, even in a bathing suit at the beach or a pool. She always wore a t-shirt and shorts over her bathing suit and never, ever took them off, even when going in the water, unless she was alone. The idea of someone seeing her naked was completely unbearable.
Finally, she realized she was going to have to say something. She looked at Sinann and said, “I’m sorry, but I am really, REALLY self-conscious about my body so I am going to wait until you are done, is that ok?”
Sinann, looked up, covered herself with her second towel and said, “Oh my god, I am SO SORRY! I didn’t even think about that. I will get out of your way asap. And I am REALLY sorry for not covering up right away. I am so bad about that.”
Shannon let her shoulders relax and smiled. “It’s not your fault, I am just super weird about it. It’s something I need to work on.”
Sinann smiled back and said, “Well, we both have something to work on I guess, right?”
Shannon laughed and said, “It seems we do!”
Epilogue
Shannon and Sinann found themselves on the same ski lift later that day and laughed hard about the morning’s start. They decided to have lunch together in the ski chalet and by the time they were done they had both made the decision in their own heads that this was the friend they had been looking for their whole life.
They have been best friends for 22 years now. Shannon still doesn’t get naked in front of anyone and Sinann still does.
The End
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Drawing and short short story by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 24, 2014 | Britt Greenwood |
The Interview
The same day I left on my emergency trip to California to visit my ailing father, I was interviewed by Britt Greenwood for the Tulsa World’s online edition. She is from Glenpool, where I live, and is doing a number of interviews with artists and other creative types who live in our town. We met at a new coffee house in Glenpool called ‘The Well’.
She wanted to write an article about what the Napkin Dad had been up to in recent years. Here it is.
Marty at The Well – © 2014 Britt Greenwood/Tulsa World
Glenpool’s ‘Napkin Dad’ to appear at SXSW
Many thanks to Britt for taking the time to sit and talk with me about my art and my business. I really appreciated it.
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The Interviewer
As usual, I requested that I be able to photograph or draw the person interviewing me. I’ve done this since I was first interviewed in 2009. Since I had my sketchbook with me it made sense to do a drawing of her.
Britt Greenwood-
drawing in progress
Here are the final drawing.
And here is the photo I took of her after I did the line drawing in the sketchbook.
Britt Greenwood
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The Artist
She is also an artist. Here is a triptych of her ‘Twisted’ series in wire. If you are from anywhere near Tornado Alley in the U.S. you know what this is all about!
Twisted – Britt Greenwood
It’s always so much fun to be interviewed. I have met some of my favorite people this way and I think Britt will be in that category from now on as well.
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Drawing and photograph of Britt by Marty Coleman
Article, Wire Sculpture and photo of me by Britt Greenwood
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