by Marty Coleman | Dec 12, 2013 | Marty Coleman, The Napkin's Guide to Happy Living |
Once again the key to happy living comes from speaking AND doing. It’s great to say you love something, but it’s in the doing that you understand what that really means.
Courage, Creative and Practical
There are at least two elements to this. The first is illustrated in the drawing, finding a creative outlet you love. The second is the day to day life you lead and the practical choices it entails.
Creativity
I’ve mentioned this before but it’s such a fundamental lesson it bears repeating; if you are going to be a consistent creative force in the world you have to love what you do and let the world know it. It might seem obvious but the roadblocks can be high. To give just one example, the woman in the drawing might have a spouse, family, employer or church who does not approve of her doing nude sculpture. But if the nude is what she loves, if it’s what she is creatively moved by, then she has to find a way to make it happen. She has to find the courage to stand up and say, this is what I love to do. She has to do this knowing she will face the anger, misunderstanding or rejection. That is the definition of courage. She does it because creating her art as she pleases makes her happy and that is worth it.
Practical
There are other examples that reside in our daily life. They involve individuality, style and interests. For example, the woman who likes blue eyeshadow but knows people laugh at it and thinks it’s tacky. The man who likes to bird watch even though all his buddies like to hunt and think he is a wuss. The couple who like to take separate vacations even though their families think it means they don’t really love each other. The female bodybuilder with 10 cats whose landlord makes fun of her.
What they all have in common is their pursuit of what makes them happy and their willingness to face disapproval because of it. What are some other examples?
Developing
I first wrote the guide above to say ‘Have the courage…’ but I changed it to ‘Develop the courage…’ because I realized as I wrote it that courage is a muscle. It’s no different than a physical muscle. It needs to be developed through practice and training. One needs to learn what it entails and how to implement it. How to withstand an onslaught. How to respond to an attack. How to make peace with disapproval. It isn’t easy. I like to think I’ve been a courageous artist for 40 years and it still is hard for me to face the disapproval of my wife or family or the art world or society. Trust me, I know. I live in Oklahoma, the land of judgment. I don’t have all the answers but I know one aspect that helps, and that’s to have a sense of humor about it.
Reward
In my years of going through it I discovered something. The happier and more confident I am about my choice and direction, from the beginning, the more those around me bow to it. I don’t mean bow in any sort of grandiose way, I mean that those who see a confident person stepping forward in a creative vision usually respond with respect after a while. Yes, they may push back at first, but if you are consistent and resolute, they see you are not going to be stopped and they let you go. That is where consistent application of your creative vision gains a reward for you. You become known as that person. Your identity is secure and others respect and admire that.
Be courageous, confident and consistent in the choices that make you happy and others will see it and respect it over time.
What examples do you have of courage and creativity?
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Love – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #1
Courage – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #2
Smiling – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #3
Education – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #4
Transformation – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #5
Judging – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #6
Expression – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #7
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Drawing and guide by Marty Coleman, who has been known to draw naked people himself.
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 10, 2013 | Marty Coleman, The Napkin's Guide to Happy Living |
The First Responder
My daughter, Caitlin, was driving from Dallas to Tulsa, coming home for Thanksgiving, a few weeks back. There was a car accident immediately behind her and she stopped to help. She steeled herself to perhaps see something pretty traumatic but luckily the guy wasn’t really badly hurt. She went to her car, got paper towels and other stuff and helped him with his injuries. She didn’t think of her actions as being about love I don’t think. But they were. She could have driven on. She could have just watched from a distance. But she didn’t. She chose to get involved and help him.
Acting
When I first came up with this I had it as ‘Think in terms of love’. But I quickly remembered another important lesson, ‘It’s easier to act your way into another way of feeling than it is to feel your way into another way of acting.’ and realized that many times the action of love has to come before the feeling (or thinking) of love. The action actually leads one closer to the feeling, they compound each other.
Thinking
Even though acting is key, acting without thinking can lead to many missed opportunities. The reason is this; just as a frame around a painting changes the painting itself, how you frame what you experience changes the experience. For example, when you see an activity, let’s say a business trip, as an obligation or duty then there is a certain dread attached to it. But if you think of it as an opportunity to show love, then there is much more excitement and enthusiasm for it.
Love to Whom?
But a business trip? How can I show love on a business trip? It’s actually a great opportunity to evaluate and frame what it is you do, seeing if what you do can be categorized as love, or, if not, can adjust your attitude or actions to be more loving? Think of all the people you meet on a business trip? Flight attendants, fellow flyers, cab drivers, hotel staff, business colleagues, restaurant workers. What better group of people to help you see if how you act (and think) is in terms of love?
Happy Living
The end result of acting and thinking in terms of love is that you feel happy. Happy with yourself, yes. But just as likely you will feel happy about the circumstances you are in as well.
And since it’s impossible to live a happy life all at once, the best we can do is to have happy moments within a life. Have enough of those and at the end you will discover you’ve lived a happy life. And it all starts with love.
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Love – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #1
Courage – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #2
Smiling – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #3
Education – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #4
Transformation – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #5
Judging – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #6
Expression – The Napkin’s Guide to Happy Living #7
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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 9, 2013 | The 'While Coffee Brews' Exercise Plan |
I drank a whole pot of coffee drawing #5 in the exercise series.
Knowing vs Doing
Another simple exercise that we all know is Jumping Jacks. But knowing it and doing it are two different things. Knowing anything is of little value if you don’t put it into practice.
Jump Start
Practicing jumping jacks is a great way to get joints loose, blood flowing and heart rate up just a bit. Sort of cardio jump start. Make sure you keep your arms fully extended and bring them all the way to the top. Stretch those arms up. Doing jumping jacks half-hearted is not worth doing so do them right or skip it. Unlike the exercises I have shown so far, women probably want to have at least a sports bra on for this one. Some men might as well.
Stretch Start
Number 2 is illustrating something that really helps me, Mr. Unlimber. It’s not Jumping Jacks, it’s Laying Down Jacks. Spread your legs as far as they will go (maybe use some barrier, like a table leg, to keep your legs open, that is what I have to do) while you also spread your arms out and up at about a 45 degree angle. Make sure the backs of your hands are touching the ground and your arms are as flat as they can be. It may not seem like much to do, but hold it for 30-60 seconds and you will really start to feel the stretch in your pectorals and your inner groin muscles.
This is a great stretch to help runners keep from getting to tight and wound up in those areas. We often think about our legs getting tight in a run but long distance runners have a lot of problems with shoulders, chests, and arms starting to hurt and cramp as well. It’s important to keep the upper torso limber as well as the leg muscles.
Exercise #6 – Lunges
Exercise #5 – Jumping and Laying Down Jacks
Exercise #3 and #4 – Abdominal Crunches and Oblique Crunches
Exercise #2 – Push Ups
Exercise #1 – Glute Kickbacks
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Drawing and instruction by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 7, 2013 | Illustrated Short Stories |
Prologue
She always remembers that day.
Chapter One
She hadn’t showered that morning even though she knew she should have. She had been out late and done something she wasn’t proud of.
Chapter Two
She got to church late and sat next to a woman wearing a lot of perfume. She could see the woman’s face reflecting all the bright lights on the stage. It looked like she had a lot of makeup on, bad acne scars and a top plunged down much farther than appropriate.
Chapter Three
Everyone stood up to greet one another. She turned to the lady shook her hand. It was warm and soft and made her feel wonderful. In the light she saw that she really was quite beautiful, her makeup wasn’t as heavy as she thought and she had pulled up her blouse so it didn’t show as much as it had before. The woman complimented her on her teal sweater and said she always was attracted to that color.
Chapter Five
After the service the woman asked if she knew of a lunch place nearby. She told her they had a cafe at the church and led her there through the crowd. The lady asked her if she would like to join her and she said yes.
Epilogue
She always remembers that day.
The End
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 6, 2013 | Travel |
I am down in Texas to run my first marathon in 3 years. This is what it looks like throughout Dallas today. More coming tomorrow and temps are staying below freezing until after the marathon is suppose to be over on Sunday.
It looks like they will cancel but as of now (Friday afternoon) they have not.
I also came down to help my daughter move to a new apartment, which we did 2 days early to avoid the weather.
So, for now we are watching the news and waiting for an announcement from the Dallas Marathon organizers.
Running is an adventure!
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