I Love it / I Hate it – Shop ‘Til You Drop #2

 

I love/hate that today is #2 of my ‘Shop ‘Til You Drop’ series.  

 

I Love it / I Hate it - Shop 'Til You Drop #2

 

Ok, fine. This is not just about women.

Losing It

I recently lost about 25 lbs.  As a result some of my clothes don’t fit.  Most of my pants I have noticed it all along, except my jeans and some of heavier material, which I do not usually wear during the summer. I started wearing them this fall and in some of them I look like a baggy bag man.  I also didn’t wear many long sleeves shirts over the summer and early fall. But now I have had a number of times I tried on my long sleeve shirts only to find they are similar in look to Seinfeld’s Puffy Pirate Shirt.  Not the look I am going for.  Combine one of those shirts with one of my baggy pants and I am baggy bag man extraordinaire.

Buttoning It

I did find a great shirt in the back of my closet this past weekend, perfect to wear out to a gallery opening and dinner with Linda. I put it on remembering it used to be too tight. I knew it would fit perfectly now and it did. Only one problem. There is a button missing right at the belly button.  I remember losing it but didn’t really care because the shirt didn’t fit and I knew I would probably never wear it again. Oops.  

Ironing It

So I finally found a shirt that wasn’t a puffy pirate shirt and went searching for a pair of pants. I found what seemed like  the only pants I had that fit that weren’t thin summer pants, too dressy or jeans. Hadn’t worn them in a while but maybe I hadn’t worn them in so long they were from when I was thinner, way back when. Or maybe they came from that consignment shopping trip I did in the spring, I had no idea. I tried them on and I wasn’t immediately baggy bag man.  

However, they were ridiculously wrinkled and had dust on the fold over the hanger and that meant I had to iron them and use one of those sticky roller things on them. But Linda was taking a nap and I didn’t want to wake her.  You know what an ironing board sounds like when you pop it open? They are never silent, they are always squeeky and squeely.  I tried, but it made the noise it was destined to make from the beginning of time, and woke Linda up.  I think she thought it was a dog making a weird sound, not me. So I let her believe it.  I ironed my pants and I looked slightly non-baggy bag man for the day.

I need to go shopping.

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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman

Quote by Mignon McLaughlin, 1913-1983, American Journalist and Author

mignonmclaughlin

Mignon McLaughlin

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Shopping Vs Sex – Shop ‘Til You Drop #1

 

Shop around if you want, but here’s where you will find Day #1 of ‘Shop ‘Til You Drop’!

 

shopping vs sex

 

True or False?  

Actually, I would say from the level of divorce in recent decades that sex (or at least relationships the sex is part of) is becoming more like shopping. You can return the product, but that doesn’t mean you are going to find anything particularly better.

What do you think, is shopping better than sex?

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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman

Quote by Adrienne Gusoff, born in the 20th century – not dead yet

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Monday in Sunrise – Prologue and Chapter One

Prologue

 

Sunrise, just like any town, has a population of secrets.  Some are trivial, blown out of proportion in a person’s mind. Some are serious and could have dire consequences if they got out in the open.  Her’s was in the latter category. The secret was from many years ago, in another city in another state under another name.  It was a safe bet the secret would never be known unless it came from her and, over 20 years time, she hadn’t ever come across a scenario compelling her to tell it. As a result, it had faded from her memory. When general stories about that sort of secret had come to the fore, maybe via a news report or a movie dealing with the topic, she didn’t dwell on it long.  She had learned how to turn off the thoughts that went in that direction.  It was something from long ago and that was all.

Chapter One

 

It was a Monday in October when she moved in next door.  I met her when I came out to get the mail. She had just opened up her small rental moving truck and was starting to unload.  My cat, Coffee, was rubbing up against the ramp that went from the truck to the garage and Mary was bending over, petting her. I walked over and introduced Coffee and myself.  She responded in kind, saying her name was Mary.  I had never seen a truck so tightly and perfectly packed in my entire life.  

I joked, “Wow, that is amazingly full, it looks like you vacuum packed your stuff.”  

She laughed and said, “No one has ever accused me of not knowing how to pack it up!”  

Her eyes crinkled up as she smiled.  Her light brown hair was down, about shoulder length, with a sweep towards the inside of her jaw.  She had a light set of bangs. I noticed a little bump in her nose and strong eyebrows. She had on a gold and green sweatshirt and a pair of dark blue shorts, with tights underneath.  Worn-in running shoes were on her feet.  I wasn’t sure of her age but thought about 40 wouldn’t be too far off.

I had just finished my writing for the day and was taking a break until my next task. She didn’t seem to have anyone else around so I asked her if she needed any help. She looked at me and laughed, saying, “This? This is nothing.  I have it, thanks.”  I got the distinct impression she was the independent sort.  

I said goodbye, picked up Coffee and said, ‘Let’s go Coffee, I don’t want you getting in her way.”  

She said, ‘Thanks, she wouldn’t but I am already wanting to steal her from you so you better take her.”

I told her she could come knock on my door if she ended up needing help moving something.  I went back in to pay bills, send invoices and do the drudge work of having my own business.  I am not good at that side of things but I have trained myself to suffer through it so I don’t completely crash and burn as a freelancer.  Coffee sat purring on my lap the whole time. After about an hour I heard a knock on the door.  Mary was there, glistening a bit from the lifting but still smiling.  She had lost the sweatshirt, and was now sporting a light blue short sleeve running shirt. Her hair was now back in a loose ponytail.  

She said, “Actually there are a few things I can’t carry by myself, would you be willing to help me?”  

I smiled and said, “Ah, turns out to be a little more than nothing, eh?”  

She turned back towards her house quickly and said simply, “Yep.”  The back of her shirt had a drawing of a woman running and said, ‘Does my ass look fast in these shorts?’ I didn’t say a word but I decided it did.  

I followed her to the truck to find only 2 pieces of furniture left. One was an old beat up dresser, the other a small but ornate table.  I took the near end of the dresser and walked backwards with it as she told me which direction to turn throughout the house.  We made our way to the master bedroom where we put it on the short wall next to the door.  The drawers were already piled nearby.  I noticed a piece of something glittery laying on top in one of the drawers.  She quickly turned out the light and led the way out.  

The last piece was the ornate table.  It was covered, top to bottom, including the legs, with intricately inlayed pieces of mother of pearl and different colored woods.  I hadn’t seen anything like it before.  As we carried it I asked her where it came from.  

She said, ‘I don’t really know. My father found it in an empty house he was looking at for possible purchase many years ago. It was the only piece in the house and the realtor said the owners hated it and wanted to sell it. My father bought it right then for $500.00.  He said it might be Moroccan, or maybe Syrian, but we don’t really know.”  

As we set it down in the living room she pointed and said, “It came with these two chairs as well.”  

Two equally detailed chairs were sitting off to the side.  I definitely was wanting to ask more questions about them but she was already walking back out towards the garage where we came in.  We got outside and she firmly pulled the back of the empty truck closed and pushed the ramp back in under the body.  

She looked right at me, her smile with the crinkly eyes apparent again, put out her hand to shake mine and said, “Thank you very much. I really appreciate it. I have to run, got to return the truck by noon or I have to pay for another day. Thanks again.” She jumped in the cab and pulled out of the driveway aggressively.  

I waved and said “Your welcome.”  

Coffee was rubbing up against the corner of her house.

monday in sunrise ch 1

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This is the second in a series about a fictional town in Oklahoma named Sunrise.  

You can read the first short story, Sunday in Sunrise, here. It was written in 2011.

The Fearful Mermaid – A Short Short Story

The Fearful Mermaid – A Short, Short Story

Chapter 1 – The Chase

Satine, the mermaid who liked her blue eyeshadow and mascara, didn’t know why they were chasing her, why they were so angry.  She swam as fast as she could to get away, all the time trying to remember if she had done or said something to upset them.  After a long time swimming she finally remembered what it was.  She had eaten their mother for lunch.

She swam until she reached a rock near the shore. She climbed up on it and waited until they got tired and hungry and went away.  Then she swam off to find her sisters and tell them about being chased.

The End

Here are the other mermaids

  1. The Virgin Mermaid
  2. The Night of Mermaids 
  3. The Modest Mermaid
  4. The Arctic Mermaid
  5. The Lake Mermaid
  6. The River Mermaid
  7. The Fearful Mermaid
  8. The Influencer Mermaid