by Marty Coleman | Nov 26, 2013 | Annette Funicello, Thanksgiving |
I think it’s a perfectly wonderful week to talk about Thanksgiving
The Mouseketeer
Annette Funicello was a founding member of Disney’s Mouseketeers. She then went on to star in Beach Blanket movies with Frankie Avalon and record chart topping records. She had it all; looks, fame, money and adulation of fans around the world. She also had MS, which caused her to retire well before she would have otherwise. When she made it public she was inundated with messages of sadness and sorrow for her plight. In response she said this,
“Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.”
Annette Funicello – Mouseketeer & star of Beach Blanket Bingo
The X Factor
One of the past contestants on ‘The X Factor’, Rion Paige, was born with wrists and arms that are bent at wrong angles and can’t move as you would expect. She is up in front of millions and millions of people singing, showing the world all her ‘imperfections’. She is the one on the competition who is the biggest smiler, the sweetest laugher, the most thankful in her responses to the judges. Her body may not be ‘perfect’, but her attitude is. I have no doubt she has this quote on her refrigerator.
Rion Paige
Perfect vs Wonderful
I know for me, when I like look for the perfect in myself, others and the world around me, I see imperfection. But when I look at the wonderful in myself, others and the world around me, I see perfection everywhere.
The Vintage Napkin
I have used this quote before, WAY back in 2002 when I was drawing the napkins for my daughters and putting in their school lunches.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Annette Funicello, 1942-2013, American actress and singer.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 24, 2013 | Products |
This Manly Gift Buying Guide to Fall Fashion is a sponsored post for Collective Bias and the Social Fabric community.
Part 1 – Shopping For my Daughter and Granddaughter
My oldest daughter, Rebekah, is transitioning this winter from an academic setting, where she is getting her Ph.D. in Neuroscience, to an employment position at a major Neuroscience Institute. Because of that I thought it was time to get her some clothes that will help her feel more at home in her new professional setting. Rebekah is not particularly one style over another but I felt like a look on the preppy side would be on the mark. She likes a simple, classic style and knows how to wear it.
I had liked the searStyle Facebook page a few months ago so I knew Sears would have that preppy look for less so I went there to see what I could find. My wife, Linda and I weren’t in the store more than 5 minutes when we came across a perfect pink turtleneck.
Turtle Neck from Sears – Closeup of Stitching
We then quickly found a classic cream colored cable knit cardigan That we felt fit perfectly with the turtleneck. I was not worried about whether they fit a particular 2013 fashion trend since both of these are evergreen styles and will not go out of fashion soon. If you are over 25, #ThisisStyle.
Cable Knit Cardigan from Sears – Closeup
I was pretty sure I got the right sizes for her but wanted to be sure before I sent them to her in time for the holidays. I have a friend who lives in my same neighborhood who I know to be almost the exact same size as Rebekah. I asked Kristen, who is a fellow runner and a fitness role model extraordinaire if she would mind trying them on to see how they fit. She came over and graciously allowed me to take some photos of her in the ensemble.
Pink Turtleneck from Sears
She started with just the turtleneck and said she loved the color and feel of the piece. She had chosen her lipstick really well as it matched perfectly.
Pink Turtleneck from Sears – Closeup
She then tried on the cable knit cardigan to complete the look.
Cable Knit Cardigan from Sears
It looked to us both as a classic, timeless look with shades of east coast preppy, without being overwhelming.
Cable Knit Cardigan and Pink Turtleneck from Sears
Let’s go back to our shopping trip for a moment. Besides Rebekah getting her Ph.D. another momentous event recently occurred. She had her first child (our first Grandchild). She had a baby girl they named Vivian. Linda and I thought it would be perfect to see if we couldn’t find some complementary outfits for the baby that would fit well with the preppy style. I had recently joined the Sears ‘Shop Your Way‘ program and knew that we would be getting a few discounts and the prices were already so affordable we had no excuse not to.
Once again, it didn’t take us long at all to find exactly what we wanted.
Preppy sweater and dress for 9 months – from Sears
Preppy hoodie and pants for 9 months from Sears
Hoodie closeup from Sears
We are pretty excited with our finds and are looking forward to giving these gifts to Rebekah and Vivian for Christmas.
You can see the SearsStyle Shop Your Way Catalog here.
Follow SoFabConnect’s board ThisisStyle on Pinterest.
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Part 2 – Tips for shopping for women
I pride myself on being more fashion aware than the average guy. I am an artist, photographer and designer and as such see fashion as another extension of creativity and art out in the world. While I am not a shopper who could compete with many women I know, I do know how to shop and can do it effectively when I want to.
Part of the reason I can shop is I have 4 daughters. They are all grown now, ages 23-31. That means I shopped for them during all ages, from baby through teen years into adulthood. I didn’t always get the gifts right, but I felt I had a good batting average overall. Sometimes I would even hit it out of the park.
If you say, as a guy, ‘Well, that’s what women do. Guys don’t do that.’ I say you are missing out. You can do it, and it can be great for your relationship. It’s also not as alien as you think. You buy a specialty wrench for a specific need and you buy a run of the mill wrench for whatever might come up, right? The same is true in fashion. You might buy a special piece of jewelry for your daughter’s graduation, but you might by a pair of earrings for whenever your daughter might like to wear them. You might buy a glittery blouse for your wife’s New Year’s Eve party, but you might buy her a sweater for any occasion. Shopping is like one or the other in most cases.
The key to being a guy and shopping for someone else is paying attention. I don’t mean paying attention while you are shopping, obviously you have to do that. I mean paying attention to what your wives, girlfriends, daughters, etc. are wearing day in, day out. It means asking questions about other outfits you see when you are out with them. Getting them to talk about what they like and don’t like. It means noticing things.
For example, do you see the same colors on your wife again and again? Ask her why. She might tell you that gold color looks great against her skin or that deep blues contrast nice with her brown hair. If you ask, you will find there is a reason. It’s not by accident. Do you see your daughter’s wearing jewelry that a big and bold, bangly and colorful? Ask her why. She will probably say she loves the glittery shine, or maybe they make her feel happy. There is a reason, it’s not by accident.
JUST as important is paying attention to what they don’t wear. You can do this by paying attention to what you see people their age wearing but the object of your gift buying does not. For example, my wife, Linda, is a pretty high powered business woman. Many business women wear suits. My wife however, never wears suits. I need to be paying attention to that so that when I am gift buying I can skip right over all these blazers and suits, knowing they aren’t going to be for her, no matter how interesting they may be to my eye. For my daughters, each one is different. They could and do overlap in what they might wear at times, but they aren’t clones of each other. One might be a bit of a hippie, the other more outdoorsy, a third a bit on the preppie side.
An important note: If you are buying for teens and early 20 somethings? There may be no reason that you can really figure out very easily. It won’t be about color or sparkles. It’s more likely going to be about who wore that pattern at the VMAs or something she saw the other, very cool girl at work, wear. You may not be able to discern this very easily. The only advice here is to pay attention to who your daughters listen to in music, which actresses and singers they like. What do those celebrities wear? Now, it may not be a celebrity in the typical hollywood/MTV sense. It might be a professor she likes, maybe a favorite author. But chances are she doesn’t get her fashion sense in a vacuum. She is finding it out in the world and adapting it to herself. The more you pay attention to what she pays attention to, the better chance you have of getting the gift buying right.
So, in a nutshell it’s about paying attention and asking questions. Because remember, it isn’t about what you like, it’s about what your loved one likes.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 22, 2013 | All is Vanity - 2013, George Sand |
It’s reasonable to assume today is day #3 of the Napkin’s ‘All is Vanity’ series.
Quicksand of Living
Here’s the thing about vanity; It’s distracted living. It’s can be while driving, or working, or talking, or texting, or studying, or dating, or exercising or having sex or….the list goes on. Vanity means you are consumed with self and how you are seen by others. This is usually accompanied by disregard for reason and logic. You do things that are dangerous, things that are counterproductive, things that are restrictive. You aren’t able to see and take part in the life you might want to take part in because your vanity won’t let you.
Quicksand of Activity
You won’t go swimming in a pool because your makeup might get messed up. You won’t stop putting on your makeup as you drive because you might be seen without it, and that just won’t do. You won’t go hiking because you might get sweaty or, sin of all sins, smelly. You won’t put on a coat when it’s freezing out because it might cover up your cute outfit.
Quicksand of Love
And in the end your consuming preoccupation with self will keep you from caring about others. You won’t be able to give love and even if you are given love, you very likely won’t be able to see it clearly over the full-length mirror you are staring into.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by George Sand (aka Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin) 1804-1876, French novelist and memoirist
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Vanity is the quicksand of reason.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 21, 2013 | All is Vanity - 2013, Nathaniel Hawthorne |
I am not deficient when I say today is ‘All is Vanity’ day #2
Pet Peeve
I think I have mentioned before that I have a pet peeve, a big one. I really do not like when people brag about their shortcomings. I especially don’t like it when I do it. When I found this quote and it added a new layer to my understanding why this happens.
Bad at Math
Let me give you an example. I did not excel at math in school. I didn’t flunk it, but I didn’t excel at it either. So, if a conversation comes up about math, and I am asked directly if I am any good at it, it’s a simple declarative statement to say, “No, not very.” If I am feeling hopeful and positive I might say, “No, not very…YET.” meaning I might become better at it in the future. That is how I like to think about things I am not very good at at the present moment.
Bad at Math Vanity
But what if instead, when I was asked, or even if I was not asked and I was just a general part of the conversation, I said, “I am REALLY BAD AT MATH! I can’t balance my checkbook, I can’t pay bills very well, I HATE math! I don’t understand my IRA or my 401k and I am terrible at keeping a budget!”
If I said that, would I be stating a simple declarative statement? No, I would be saying to the world, ‘I am proud to be bad at math. I think it makes me pretty cool. It shows me to be a hip artist, or maybe a cool musician. It puts me in the ‘above all that mundane crap’ world of bean counters and bureaucrats and pencil pushers.
Wrong Vanity
And I would be wrong. It doesn’t do that. It just shows me to be vain about a deficiency. I am seeing a shiny gold tooth in the mirror worth bragging about when actually I just have an ugly black tooth that really isn’t worthy of attention. It’s nothing to be proud of, nothing to brag about and certainly nothing to be vain about. What it really is, is something to be better at if you can, just like any other optional deficiency in your life.
Right Vanity
You suck at your marriage? Don’t boast of it, become less sucky at it. You don’t know how to write? Don’t brag about, learn how to write. You are a lazy bum? don’t be vain about it, get the hell off the couch and start contributing somewhere. Turn that deficiency into an available gift. Then if you want to be vain about it, go ahead.
Have you ever been vain about a deficiency? Let’s hear your insight about it.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Nathaniel Hawthorne, from his book – The House of the Seven Gables
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“It is very queer, but no less true, that people are quite as vain, or more so, of their deficiencies than of their available gifts”
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 20, 2013 | All is Vanity - 2013 |
I hope I don’t sound vain, but this is going to be the best series on Vanity I have ever done! Here’s day #1.
Plastic Stupidity
No, I am not against plastic surgery. I know many people who have had very successful changes made to their bodies and faces this way. They are very happy with the changes and I am happy for them. I think they look great and that it was more than likely a great choice.
What I am against is someone being coerced or bullied or otherwise manipulated into getting plastic surgery so someone ELSE can feel good about themselves, make more money, have more status, get more pleasure, etc. That is stupidity talking.
What might that manipulative stupidity look like?
- Maybe it takes the form of money making, like the strip club owner who might ‘persuade’ a dancer to get a boob job she really doesn’t want and can’t afford so the club owner will make more money.
- Maybe it’s a husband who bullies his wife into an eye lift so she will look more ‘western’ and he in turn feels more successful having a more ‘western’ looking wife.
- Maybe it’s a mother who pushes her daughter to have a nose job so she is more likely to get a husband which the mother wants so she can have grandkids.
- Maybe it’s a girlfriend who convinces her boyfriend he can have the chest he’s supposedly always wanted by getting pec implants so she can feel superior to her tribe of girls by virtue of having the BF with the hottest bod.
Plastic Vanity
But a person talking stupid or coercive or bullying doesn’t turn a bad idea into reality, vanity does that. Why does that happen? Somehow their vanity has convinced themselves that;
“if I get my ________ done, then…
…I will be more _________.”
…It will make me _____________.”
…My spouse will then ______________.”
…I will make more ________________.”
…I will feel _____________.”
How would you fill in the blanks for someone acting out of plastic vanity?
Positive Blank
Sounds negative, right? But here’s the rub. Can’t someone fill in those same blanks so they are positives? I mean, men and women have plastic surgery every day and they fill in those blanks with positive words all the time. What words would be positive? Any? Many?
What are your thoughts on this?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Victor Hugo, 1802-1885, French writer
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