by Marty Coleman | Sep 16, 2013 | The Prostitute - 2013 |
Here’s a topic I haven’t investigated before. This week I am exploring the idea of prostitution.
Poverty vs Sin
This quote makes sense to me. I can imagine it isn’t easy to decide to become a prostitute. Perhaps some might like it, but I doubt very many. I think the majority are likely to do it because, in their mind, it’s the only real option to avoiding poverty. Of course, with some it might be poverty brought on by drugs or other destructive ways to lose money, but I bet for some it’s just really the only viable option in their minds. I am not saying it is the only viable option, but that it seems that way to them.
I also don’t necessarily think the woman has to think of what she does as ‘sin’. She might think it’s perfectly fine to be in that profession, doesn’t feel morally guilty or wrong. But no matter what she thinks of the profession she is very unlikely to advertise that it is what she does or used to do.
The Retiree
You know what I wonder about? Where do retired prostitutes retire to? What job/career/life do they have afterwards? The first thing that comes to mind is the street walker and how she will likely get a low paying job in the service industry, maybe will go on welfare, maybe will marry an abusive husband, have kids, be addicted to drugs. All of those ideas are cliches. I actually have no idea what a street walker does after she no longer walks the street, do you? After all, do you think she puts it on her resume? Does she openly leave a trail back to that part of her life for others to find? I doubt it. So, how would we know? We wouldn’t.
What about a call girl? Someone higher in the strata of selling her body for money. Maybe she is a college girl earning money for school and after she is done with school she will get a job in her major, forget her life as a call girl and go on to be a middle class woman in America. No one would imagine that is her past based on who she is now, after all how would they know? She won’t be putting it on her resume either. so we don’t really know, right?
Condemnation
Why wouldn’t she tell the world what she used to do? Well, that’s obvious. The reaction would be swiftly condemning from almost all directions. Even if she did get a sympathetic and understanding ear from someone, that same someone is not likely to want to be close friends, associating him or herself with the retiree for all to see. The condemnation and negative consequences would be too severe if it came out. The threat of wider exposure of her ‘sin’ could also lead to possible blackmail, not a fun threat to have hanging over one’s head. The exposure of her former career could lead to men wanting to take advantage of her as a sexual object. It’s pretty clear to see she has a vested interest in keeping it secret.
Acceptance
But if we aren’t to judge but to love, then that includes people who have had professions we don’t like, approve of or understand, right? I doubt I will find out from a friend (or stranger) because of this post that they had been a prostitute in the past. But if I did find out, I would hope I would treat her exactly the same as I had before; with love, kindness, interest and concern about who she was, who she is, who she wants to be and how I can help her.
How would you react?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Sydney Biddle Barrows, 1952 – not dead yet, former escort service owner, currently marketing consultant.
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 13, 2013 | Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman, Travel Napkins |
‘At First’ – A Short, Short Story
Was she the one being counseled or was she the counselor? I couldn’t tell at first.
Were the children hers, or the other woman’s, or maybe they belonged to the man, or all three. I couldn’t tell at first.
At first I thought she would sit still long enough for me to draw her.
At first she didn’t notice me.
Marty Coleman – 9/13/13
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 12, 2013 | Chaz Bono, Mr. Xperience Says - 2013 |
Don’t blame me, Mr. Xperience says today is #5.
Who Are You?
It’s good to have a strong identity, isn’t it. If you don’t, it’s easy to be swayed and pushed and bullied into being someone else, someone the other person wants or needs you to be. That someone else could be a bad person, i.e. “He just fell in with the wrong crowd, that’s why he stole all that stuff.”
Being Secure
It could be you are being pushed by someone who isn’t very secure. To increase that security they want others to be like them, and that makes sense because they become more secure when they see others imitating them. That is how some parents are. But the best parents are secure. They are wanting their kid to be a unique being, not a mini-mom or mini-dad. They don’t need that reinforcement of their identity to compensate for their lack of confidence. They are happy to see their son or daughter find their own way in life, career, relationships.
Celebrating the Unique
They have ideas of what might work for their kid, and they put that forth. But they don’t reject or condemn the child when they become someone different than they are. They celebrate their kid’s uniqueness. That is how they make sure they have happy and secure kids.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Chaz Bono, 1969 – not dead yet, American writer and musician
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 11, 2013 | Mr. Xperience Says - 2013 |
Xperience tells me today is day #4.
Creativity
When it comes to creativity, stopping is the worst thing you can do. Yes, we can get stuck. But, unlike real physical stuckness, in most of our stuck situations we can change our situation, environment, focus, etc. We can leave something behind and come back to it. Hopefully the going away leads to seeing the problem in a new light. If you are a visual artist it can be seeing the cool colors – the greens,yellows and purples – of outdoors instead of the warm colors of your indoor space.
If you are a musician, maybe it’s listening to something you would never listen to, or something you haven’t heard in 20 years, or listening to the sounds of the world of the city instead of the suburbs. Something to mix up your understanding of sound.
Writers can write a story they know will terrible because they don’t know the subject at all. That should unstick them in a hurry.
Relationships
The most important area to realize this lesson is in relationships. Being ‘stuck’ in some aspect of a marriage or partnership is so common as to almost be the norm. Taking steps to change a relationship is scary. It’s easy to be stuck due to fear that unsticking things will get out of control, will change in unforeseen ways, will be painful. But taking action is still the best course of action in spite of the fear.
The question is what creative steps can you take to unstick yourself. Not unsticking the other person, since you don’t really have control over them, but yourself. How can you unstick you? That will most likely lead to the log jam breaking apart. Maybe not right away bit it will happen.
How have you unstuck yourself in the past either creatively or in relationships?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Jeanette Winterson, 1959 – not dead yet, English writer
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 10, 2013 | Mr. Xperience Says - 2013 |
Mr. Xperience sees this happen all the time, how about you?
The End – Husbands and Wives
You hear it often when a woman gets divorced. She lost herself in her husband’s identity, or maybe her kids’ identity. A few years later she doesn’t know who she is anymore. A divorce occurs and she goes on a quest to find herself. It can happen to men as well, though I don’t hear about it as often.
The Start – Friends and Family
But a person who allows themselves to get lost sometimes practiced getting lost a lot earlier in life. Maybe it was an outgoing, dynamic friend who took you under her wing. It seemed great at first but after a while you realize you had become just a shadow presence. Your real identity didn’t come out, just variations on the theme that was your friend’s identity.
Or maybe it was your very strong willed family. Maybe your mother pushed you to be just like her, and because you just never developed the idea from early on that your own interests and personality were worthy of existence, you became a mini-mom.
The Practice
So, how do you not end up lost in another person? You practice being your own person again and again and again. That means you might have to fight for your identity’s right to exist. A lot of people don’t want to fight, they don’t like confrontation. But the price of not standing up for who you are is losing yourself. Is that worth it?
Practicing being who you are with grace and confidence is not the same as doing so with an angry chip on your shoulder though. Communicating honestly, responding calmly, but continuing to do what it is you know you are meant to do, in spite of pressure, is the key.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is anonymous
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