One day these two women judged each other mercilessly. The next day they both went to the doctor and found out they had cancer. They both died within a year. The end.
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Drawing and Short Short Story by Marty Coleman
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Questions Arise
I went looking under ‘women judging women’ to see what might be out in the world. These are some of the compelling images and articles I discovered.
The question I have after viewing and reading these blogs is this:
Where do you say your own judgment comes from, you or elsewhere?
What labels do you put on women’s bodies and style?
When is judgment good and proper and when is it not?
I am sure you will have more questions that come up. Chime in with your insights and opinions, your Napkin Kin want to know.
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From April on a Weight Watchers Blog
From Kim Shannon in the ‘Everyday Family’ blog
From Sarah of Rainbow Reverie (she does not agree with this photo’s message)
From Linda Franklin of The Real Cougar Woman
From Ann of the ‘Imperfect Woman’
From Jessica Wakeman of The Frisky
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Women being judged happens in so many ways. What do you think of this story?
My wife and I were walking with our adult daughter in a very stiff Oklahoma wind yesterday morning. We were in the city and the canyons of tall buildings were creating the funnel effect, making the wind whip even stronger than the 25 mph it was probably going. She was in a nice conservative dress that laid a few inches above the knee, her hair was long and loose because she had just had it cut and colored and had to let it be down for the day so it wouldn’t kink. As we leaned into the wind she tried to hold on to her hair, her dress, and her purse. She was barely holding her dress down, her hair was blowing everywhere and her purse wasn’t far from take off. She was holding everything as tight as she could because this had happened in this exact same spot about a year earlier as well. In that case the wind had grabbed her dress right as she got out of the car. Luckily Linda and I were right behind her so the resulting ballooning was obscured to anyone who might have been looking. She also had told us that she had the same thing happen at an outdoor wedding just a week before.
As we continued walking and she continued to fight the wind she gave a loud huff and in a moment of frustration simply said, “It sucks being a woman sometimes!” She was referring to the present circumstances of course, but I also got the feeling she was expanding that statement out to other areas of being female as well.
What about you? Do you have areas of suckiness as a woman? Have you been able to modify your life so that suckiness is reduced or has disappeared? Or maybe you don’t think it sucks?
Tell the Napkin Kin community about your experiences and opinions.
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman, Inspired by Caitlin Reynolds
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If people ask me what I do and I am being cheeky (and want to make them say ‘WTF’ to themselves) I simply tell them I draw on napkins. If they get to know me they will find out I also write, photograph, consult, travel, speak, and coach. But they may not know I also am the Energizer Bunny using Energizer headlights,
Doing things like this:
This is the scene of me fixing the washing machine for the second time in 2 months. It was not fun. That motor there? It weighs 250 lbs. Really. I dropped it on my finger at one point. That hurt. I had to balance that motor, the flashlight and and a screwdriver at the same time. And I had to figure out how to clip it on while doing that.
I also do things like this:
This is me fixing the garbage disposal for the 6th or 10th time. I forget which. Luckily it’s not a terribly hard fix, just a hex wrench in the middle, a little stiff tug and it’s done. But that isn’t as easy to do as one might think in the dark. Enter in the Energizer headlight. I love my bright headlights. I have used specialty ones for running but I didn’t have a general one for use around the house. After doing the washing machine without a headlight I went to Wal-Mart and got one right away just in case I had to take it all apart a third time! Luckily I had it for under the sink.
And for this:
This is me behind my desktop computer switching out some USB cables. I have 987 cables back there (at least) and it is not easy to follow them. But it would be impossible without a good headlight. It’s makes life easier, no doubt. I bet George Washington would like Energizer headlights. They had a 3 LED beam headlights and a 6 LED beam headlights. I chose the 3 LED because I thought the 6 version would blind my wife if I looked her way while trying to light my way.
And seeing as it’s Oklahoma, you know where we need one of these, right?
In here:
This is our storm shelter we had installed last year. We supplied it with storm survival stuff this spring, including work flashlight, lamps and night headlight, all from Energizer.
We are prepared in that storm shelter with TV, radio, electricity (if it doesn’t go out) food, water, a fan and more. We even have a dog food and a bowl for dog water just in case we have to live in there for a while. Lights though lead the way in important stuff to have to light my way!
And of course, since I am a runner, I knew no matter what else I was going to use the night headlight for, I was going to use it for some late night or early morning running.
Like this:
Nothing worse than running in a neighborhood with potholes in the street in the dark. Bright Headlights make a huge difference. Energizer has a huge array of headlights so I can use the sports version for running, with it’s red tail light on the back. Very cool.
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I also posted an entire Google + story about this as well with even more photos.
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Photos and commentary by Marty Coleman
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When and how do we decide what we expect of ourselves? Our fitness, our looks, our money, our kindness, our giving, our status; you name it and we have expectations about it. But many of these expectations aren’t even verbalized or consciously defined. We often see expectations in hindsight better than in foresight.
I remember when I got divorced in 2000. It wasn’t until then that a great unspoken expectation for my life was shattered. I had never verbalized it or even consciously visualized it. But when it no longer had a chance of happening in the future, then I could see it clear as day. It was an image of me sitting on the porch of the family cabin, my ex-wife’s family cabin, on our 50th wedding anniversary with grandchildren playing all around me. It was sort of like I had put it on my to-do list after it was no longer possible to achieve. That was a point of frustration for me until I remarried and created new visions for my future.
I have a good friend whose expectations of relationships and marriage have not gone according to expectations. She has said to herself in hindsight, “I expected to be married by about age 25.” but she wasn’t. On and off it’s been a focus of frustration for her.
What can she do? She can modify or get rid of the expectations. To be flexible and adaptable enough to deal with what really IS instead of what she would like the IS to be, is her best path to peace if you ask me. It’s not that there is nothing that can be done, but doing everything in her power is still not going to be enough to guarantee the outcome she wants. And that is what she has done and why she is a successful and happy woman. She isn’t without frustrations but she knows how to move past them and find the beauty and value in new visions of life.
I wanted to lose weight for quite a while. My running had got me in pretty good shape, but my nutrition and food intake was not good and as a result I weighed north of 200. I wanted to lose the weight but wanting to didn’t help me lose it.
What can I do? I can act on the expectation. I have some major control available to me. Not complete control mind you, but a fair amount. When I actually focused on my expectations, I started focusing on was acceptable for me to eat. I stuck with it and I lost weight. 24 pounds and counting after 5 months. I took action to reach my expectations.
What are you doing to reach, modify or get rid of your expectations?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Antonia Banderas, 1960 – not dead yet, Spanish Actor
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