A Marathon to Remember

 

Here is the story of my Oklahoma City Marathon, 2013. 

we run for you

Noticed while leaving the hotel at 4:45 am.  Team running for OKC and Boston

I ran the final leg of a 5 person relay team in the 13th Oklahoma Memorial Marathon yesterday.  I wanted to be in the race to honor not only the 168 innocents who lost their lives in the 1995 bombing of the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, but to include the 4 innocents who lost their lives in the bombing and aftermath at the Boston Marathon just 2 weeks ago.

okc memorial

Oklahoma City National Memorial: 5:00 am Race Day

The race starts at 6:30 am so we all arrive before sunrise.  The cubes of light you see on the left are the 168 chairs representing the people who died in the bombing.  The gate on the left is the 9:03 gate. I am standing at the 9:01 gate. The bomb went off at 9:02 and is represented by the reflecting pool in between the two gates.  You can see the crowds gathering for the race in the dark. Later towards the start you can see the crowd a little better.

The start line is WAY down there.

I was at the start of the Marathon to support a number of my friends and fellow coaches, Stephanie Greenquist, Angelika Carpenter and Courtney Johnson among many others.  Due to the massive crowds we were stuck at the 7:30 pace sign with a thousand other people who should have been at the 9 or 10 minute sign.  We didn’t get trampled.

me and my coaches

Four Pathways coaches and great friends!

Since I was on a relay team I didn’t have to run then but I wanted to be part of the moment, including the 168 + 3 seconds of silence honoring the dead of OKC and Boston.  It’s a long silence and makes you feel many things, including for me a deep sense of gratitude.  I ran about a 1/2 a mile with them, back to my hotel, so I could take off my sweats and get a quick breakfast.  This was the scene when I stopped.

About a 1/2 mile into the race

I took a shuttle to my relay stop and waited for the arrival of Louis, who was running the 4th leg. I would be running the 5th and final leg.  Shortly after I arrived my boss at Fleet Feet Tulsa, Tim Dreiling, ran in to complete his leg. Two of the other relay members, David and Joel, were waiting for him. They are FAST!

Fleet Feet Tulsa Relay Team

Part of the Elite Fleet Feet Tulsa Relay Team: David, Tim and Joel

Everywhere you looked there were people showing support for those hurt and killed in Boston.  I liked the eye black this woman was wearing, as well as her headband.

face

Messages

As we run the OKC Marathon there are 168 flags along the route. Each flag has the name of one of the murdered.  I read a number in a row, turn to face the street ahead and then look back up to read another 10 or so in  a row. I did that the rest of the way in.   It is a very moving and unique way to bring it home for all to see, and to put the pain of your own run in perspective.

marathon banner

credit to Oklahoma Marathon Facebook Page

I was also thinking about the survivors of these sorts of tragedies.  The dead lost their lives, but in the here and now those who are still suffering are those who were not killed but were forever altered; physically, mentally or emotionally.  This was brought home to me when I sat next to Robyn Pendleton on the shuttle bus to the relay exchange spot.  She told me of a very personal connection that made her whole family want to run the OKC Marathon.

Robyn, Evan and Todd Pendleton – 1995
Picture credit – ‘The Oklahoman’ newspaper

18 years ago she was a young mother with 2 boys.  Both boys usually went to daycare but that morning the older child went to a birthday party at another location.  Her husband dropped the younger son off at the downtown daycare and was driving away when it seemed like he got rear ended by what had to be a very large and fast truck. It threw his own truck a few feet forward with incredible force.  But it was not a truck. It was an explosion.  The Murrah building had just been blown up by a truck bomb.

 

Murrah Building Before

 

Murrah Building After (May 5th 1995 memorial service)

Robyn worked at a south Oklahoma City YMCA location. She actually heard the explosion from where she was and saw the mushroom cloud rise in the distance.  Inside her building they were quickly getting news that there had been a huge explosion downtown that had almost completely destroyed a building.  They were all listening and watching reports when someone asked her where her sons were.  Then it hit her.

This was in the days before ubiquitous cell phones.  It took her over 2 hours to find out what had happened. Via about 5 or 6 connections she found out that her husband had gotten back to the day care at the downtown YMCA, less than a block from the Murrah Building, and had successfully retrieved their son, who was not injured but for a small cut below is eye where glass had hit him. She was able to get a ride downtown and was eventually reunited with her family.

Overview of the OKC National Memorial – The building was on the right of the reflecting pool.
Photo credit – OKC Memorial Organization

If you have never been to the OKC National Memorial and Museum it is a site to behold. There truly is not a more moving and profound memorial to be found in the US if you ask me.  One of the elements I like is the survivor wall, with all the names of those who were injured or impacted by the bombing, those who were within a certain radius.  Robyn’s son’s name, Evan Pendleton, is on that wall.  Being 3 years old, he doesn’t remember a thing but nonetheless it has impacted his life in a profound way, as it has for all his family.

As we ran the final leg of the marathon I caught up with Robyn. We high-fived each other as we moved at different paces to the finish line.  When I found my other running buddies after the race we walked over, as many do, to the memorial. It was filled with people contemplating the 9:01 and 9:03 gates leading into the reflecting pool that takes up the symbolic 9:02, the moment of the explosion.

The Survivor Tree, Reflecting Pool and 9:01 Gate

People sit and contemplate, resting after the race, meeting up with family and friends. People can be seen gathering around many of the 168 chairs that symbolize their loved ones.  We stopped to take a photo of a group of women who were doing just that.  Their departed loved one is gone, but is still present for them.  It’s as powerful and beautiful as can be.

Running and Remembering David Neil Burkett

Each chair is individually sized. The children all have very small chairs.

A Medal in Honor of 2 yr old Elijah Coverdale left on his chair.  His older brother Aaron was also killed.

As we went over to the map to see how the memorial was laid out Robyn was there with her relay team mates. I introduced her to my friends and told them the story of her young son.  

Robyn Pendleton in front of the Survivor Tree

Just then a good looking young man walked up. Robyn turned and introduced us to Evan, 18 years later, now a strapping 21 year old just off his very first OKC half Marathon.  

Evan and Robyn Pendleton, 2013

It was great to see that out of something so negative and hurtful something powerful and positive had emerged.  

That is how it is with tragedies, isn’t it, especially those purposely inflicted.  The desired death and destruction by the criminal may occur, but it never lasts. Love and purpose and resilience is what lasts.  That is what makes running this race so powerful, making this particular Marathon an amazing one to participate in and remember.

You can read a newspaper article from 2012 about the Pendleton family here.

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Story by Marty Coleman

The ‘Boston Strong Chick’ – A Local Travel Napkin + TV News segment

 

 

boston strong chick

Working Outside The Home

I work from home. I usually stay home unless I have a specific thing to do. When I travel afar I find myself gravitating towards coffee houses, and I have been thinking I really should do that more often when I am home, not just when I travel.  Why not draw my napkin there instead of at home, right?

The ‘Boston Strong Chick’

That is what I did today. I had to go to downtown Tulsa to pick up some artwork I had in a recent group exhibition. Afterwards I decided to stop by the Phoenix Coffee House.  I gathered up a humongous Mocha and a scone and settled into a chair where I thought I would have a good view of this woman with a ‘Boston Strong Chick‘ hat and shirt on.  I figured she was likely a runner and that she might be there a while, long enough to start a drawing at least.  I started to draw her and got through her head, shoulders and most of her arms when she got up to meet someone coming in the door.  

OKC Marathon Connection

It turns out the friend she met was Michelle, a running friend of mine.  We had just talked on Facebook earlier in the morning about running in the OKC Marathon in two days. We recognized each other and I got up to say hello.  Turns out the person I had been drawing was the person she had told me about in our conversation,  her more experienced running friend who is going to run the marathon with her.   She introduced Brooke to me, explaining how we knew each other .  I showed them the drawing in progress and after some talk about the marathon and our various strategies for the race they went off to get some coffee and I went back to drawing.  When I was done with the line drawing I showed it to them again and Brooke was kind enough to let me take a photo of her with the napkin.

boston strong chick 2

Brooke Martin (gotta love the cute bunny photo bombing on the TV in the background!)

It also turns out that she had come to the coffee house from being interviewed about her participation in the Marathon by the same reporter, Max Resnik, who interviewed me yesterday.  Small world.

Here is the segment that includes me in it (Brooke was in a different segment).

Watching Me Drawing 

In the meanwhile, while I was drawing Brooke, someone was watching me drawing.  When I was done she came over and asked to see the drawing. She told me she had texted her husband while watching me draw that she was watching someone who could be him in another 20 years.  You can see her on the far left (and Brooke on the couch) in this photo I took using my brand new wide angle lens (I am obsessed with it) when I first sat down.

phoenix coffee house

The scene before me

 Turns out good things, good connections and good people come from getting out and about.  I shall have to do it more often.

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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman, who is running the last leg, (6.2 miles) in the marathon relay, not the entire race.  But I do get to cross the finish line, which will be very cool.

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By the way, the Tee and Cap came from www.happyfirst.com and the profits are going to the One Fund Boston.

Training Boys or Limiting Girls – Rape Culture

training boys

 

 

I got into a long and deep discussion today on FB over a story on ABC News/GMA about girls not being allowed to wear strapless dresses to a middle school prom because they were deemed ‘too distracting’ by the principal of the school.  Click on the pic or link to read the story.

Strapless Dresses Too ‘Distracting’ for N.J. School Dance
Is this an example of a rape culture at work?

There were a lot of points of view, mine primarily being that what is needed is proper training for boys on how to respond to girls, no matter what they are wearing.  Limiting girls because boys might be distracted is placing the blame on the girl, just as when someone blames a rape victim because she wore too short a skirt or too dark of eyeshadow.  Not only is that not the reason behind rape, even if it were, the solution is to get the boys/men educated and trained about appropriate and moral behavior, not telling women they have to wear clothes that conceal.

That’s my initial take on it, what’s yours? 

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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman

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“Training boys is wiser than limiting girls.”

What Knot Should You Untie?

never cut

Hurricane

In 1971 we bought a 47 ft houseboat.  We lived in Darien, Connecticut and had it at a marina on the Long Island Sound in a town nearby.  We spent the next few summers out at the far eastern tip of Long Island, in the town of Montauk, New York, at Captain’s Marina.

Floating

In the summer of ’72 Hurricane Agnes bore down on Long Island. It was close to a direct hit as those things go. The tidal storm surge made Montauk Lake rollick violently. Many of the boat owners on the floating docks decided they would ride out the storm in the middle of the lake instead of risking having their boat get out of synch with the dock and smash down on top of it, ruining the hull, propellers, etc. 

Tightening

Our boat was tied up to a rigid dock, not floating with the tide.  At first we thought that meant we would be safe as long as we kept the bumpers between us and the dock. it was unlikely we would go up and down so much as to put the boat in danger.  What we didn’t realize was that once the boat started going up and down, even mildly, the ropes tying us to the dock were getting tighter and tighter around the cleats.  

Untying

As the storm got more violent one of the cleats tore out of the boat. At that point we made the decision that it would be best if we waited it out in the middle of the lake instead of at the marina. We tried to untie the remaining ropes but it was hopeless. They were way too tight, and even if it were still possible to untie the ropes, the violent moving of the boat made it very dangerous for fingers to work with rope that may snap tight at any moment.  Our only choice at that point was to take an ax to the remaining rope and cut ourselves clear.  It was quite a dangerous scene making that happen.  

Cutting

We were able to cut 2 other ropes and had one remaining rope at the bow. But because that was the only remaining rope tethering us to the dock and the wind was blowing us away from the dock we were not in immediate danger of hitting anything. Getting up on the bow in the storm to chop away at the rope was considered too dangerous and we chose to ride it out with that one tether, as long as the wind didn’t start to bring us back to the dock, which it didn’t.

Decisions

After the storm passed we saw almost all the boats that remained at the floating docks had been damaged to some degree.  Those that had gotten free had some seasick captains but were not damaged at the end of it all.  Our boat only suffered the one cleat having been pulled out and some chop marks on the teak walkway.  

We learned an important lesson that day. You can’t wait until the storm is at its worst to make your decision. You need to figure it out in advance, just as in life.

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Drawing and life story by Marty Coleman, who a year later got blown up on that same boat.

Quote by Joseph Joubert,  1754-1824, French moralist and essayist

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