One of the hardest things to learn as an adult is that you cannot escape your problems without going through your problems. And the reason for that is because, while you might be able to escape a relationship, a location, or even a life style, you can’t escape yourself.
You might say, but I am not the problem, my spouse is the problem. If that is the case, then ask yourself how did you get into, and stay in, that relationship? Because of you is the answer. Thus, you have something that needs to be dealt with. Maybe you aren’t the abusive one, or the angry one, but you are the one that got into the relationship with the abusive and angry one.
The Map and the X
How do you get out of yourself? Well, how do you get to a place you have never gone before? You get a map. You put a big old X on the map and you figure out how to get there. But you need to mark that X first. Where do you want to be? Who do you want to be? What do you want to look like, feel like, talk like, think like, love like? Those are all destinations and you it is possible to find a map and mark and X for each one of them.
The map might be disguised as a religion, a meditation, a group, a friend, a book, a TV show, a piece of art. But there is a map for you. Discovering the map and the X is actually the easy part. It’s deciding to go on the journey that is hard.
Unpacking to Leave
What do you do when you get ready to go somewhere? You pack. But in this sort of journey you might have to do the opposite. You might have to shed the baggage and start off by stripping down, admitting where you are, who you are and THEN gather up a few things and move forward.
But in the end you have to be willing to say goodbye to not just your boyfriend or job or couch, you have to say goodbye to yourself. That is where most people get stopped. In spite of their desire to change, they are afraid of losing that familiar ‘me’. If you can give up that ‘me’ with the confidence the new ‘me’ will be so much better, you can do it. But that new me has to first be on the map you are using.
Where is your X?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who loves to make an X.
Here is the video from ‘The List’ TV show that aired recently. Thanks again to Shack Shackleford and Erin Christy of ‘The List’ for coming all the way out to my studio to tape the interview!
It highlights my involvement with Social Media Tulsa Conference this week. If you haven’t made plans to go, you should!
I compel you to look at Photography part 2. You can hear more about it at the Social Media Tulsa Conference where I will be speaking and leading a hands-on session on creating Compelling Images for Social Media.
Screw The Fashion Police
You are in the crowd at the edge of the red carpet at the Oscars and a famous star with a snake tattoo, a bizarre dress that is sure to put her on the worst dress list and some god-awful makeup walks by as the crowd around you whispers terrible things about her. But you? All you see are earrings that rock your world. Everyone else hates them but you love them. You take a quick pic of all of her because that is what you are supposed to do, but then you focus in and take a photo of what you really love, her earrings.
That individual photo might seem to be about a Star’s earrings but do that again and again and again, wherever you go, and people will realize it’s also about you. They will see who you are. You will have your own identity, your own point of view, your own visualization of who you are and what you love in the world. And everyone else will know who you are as well.
And there you have the secret of how to find a compelling image, by having the courage to follow what compels you. It’s as simple as that.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who design her tattoo for her.
Quote also by Marty Coleman, who designed her earrings too. However, she is to blame for the makeup, which I tried to talk her out of.
I am speaking this week at the Social Media Tulsa Conference. A link to the conference website is below and you are invited to attend. My topic is ‘The Compelling Image in the Age of Social Media’. This week I am drawing some images that will introduce various areas I want to cover.
What Compels You?
This one applies whether you are posting your photo to social media sites or not. It’s about focusing less on documenting the dry look of what happens and focusing more on capturing the compelling feeling of what happens.
Look for the Feeling
This can happen in one of 2 ways. You can choose to focus on something that, in it’s very look, visualizes a feeling. The drawing above is an example of that. The bloody foot and sock after an ultra marathon tell more about the feeling of the event than does a simple photo of the participant raising a medal with a smiling face. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with photographing that smiling face, but if you REALLY want to express the feeling, you might consider looking at what conveys that feeling. Is it the sweat on the brow, the person pouring water over their head, maybe the bloody sock? Investigate how the feeling is visualized in the moment and capture it.
Create the Feeling
The other way it can happen is by the technique you use to take the photograph. I once took a series of photos at one of my daughters’ birthday party. We had a pinata set up and I took a number of photos of the kids at the party swinging at it. In most of the photos my flash worked as you would expect, it froze the action. But in a few I purposely set the exposure of the camera much longer, so the flash went off but there was a trail of action that was in the photo as well. Those were the images that gave the feeling of the girls having fun, swinging at a pinata. The feeling was in the action, not just in the frozen moment. Learn what techniques you have available to you to help get across the feeling.
Social Media Tulsa Conference
The conference is Thurs/Fri, March 21st & 22nd at the Mayo Hotel in beautiful downtown Tulsa. You can still register to attend, here is the link to the Social Media Tulsa website with the agenda, schedule, speakers, etc.
My presentation is Thursday, 3/21 at 3:30 in the Penthouse of the Mayo Hotel. It is going to be a combination of speaking and hands on workshop. If weather permits we will be going out onto the roof of the Mayo to take photos so bring your camera phone if not a bigger camera!
Just between you and me, this post is about privacy.
Naked Long Ago
I once got in a bit of trouble for showing a naked picture of myself to someone. We had a conversation about my burn scars and how I had had them so long I didn’t really remember what I looked like without them. Later I came across a long ago photo, taken in high school, of me about to go skinny dipping by jumping off a boat into the water. It was the last photo I remember that showed my body with no scars. Since I was facing away from the camera and my wiener wasn’t showing I thought it would be no big deal to show it to this person. I was wrong. And that was just a single printed image, not a digital image that is traveling around the world at a million miles a second.
Naked Now
Imagine being Prince Harry at a party in Vegas? That was a bit more exposure than he wanted, that’s for sure. Even his sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambridge, sunbathing miles out in the middle of nowhere, got photographed with her boobies exposed. Luckily for both of them the public had their fun and then left it alone. Seeing Harry’s fella and Kates bosom is trivial and inconsequential.
But think about the rape case in Ohio that just was at trial this past week. If it weren’t for social media in images and words, the rape would likely never have been found out and the victim would not have had justice done. Two young men were found guilty in large part due to twitter, youtube and other social media engagements that allowed a trail of evidence and memory to be fitted together. Social media helped find the truth.
The Middle of Nowhere is Everywhere
Social media imagery is everywhere. If you do something bad, especially in a group, there is a very good chance it will be exposed beyond the borders of the party or event and you will be found out, and that is good. But if you do something good and innocent, like skinny dipping, there is also a chance of being exposed well beyond the borders of the swimming hole and that might be bad.
Morals of the story? 1. Be careful with your image, naked or otherwise. 2. Use the images you have to make things better when you can.
