What does it really mean to be quiet? Not talking, yes. But it is more than that. It’s being in a quiet space. That might be your head space where you can quiet your thoughts, or it might be the physical space where you aren’t distracted by many voices and sounds.
I ran the Chicago Marathon this week, #14 overall. But it was just my second big city marathon, the first being New York City last November. There were supposedly over a million people lining the streets in both of these races cheering people on. And that makes it LOUD LOUD LOUD! So loud in fact that it is hard to hear yourself think. It’s hard to not be distracted by all the sounds, people and sights, which means you really have to work hard to focus if you want to run a certain pace, take your nutrition at a certain time, etc.
While I was running this recent race my mind responded to this outer noise by creating inner noise. My thoughts were scattered, distracted, repetitive, fragmented and unfortunately, way too negative. I fought it, constantly trying to move from the negative thoughts to positive ones but even when I was able to, the negative ones returned after a short respite.
It isn’t just in a crowd that this can happen. It is possible of course that one can think negative and scattered thoughts even on a desert island. But, at least for me, the more outer noise there is the harder it is to hear anything from my own mind with clarity and focus.
My goal is to learn that no matter where I am, the only thing I have control over is myself and my thoughts. After all, even if I am off running a marathon in the redwoods of California, I still might find there is some crazy bird cawing at me, right? The key is to figure out how to be quiet within, no matter what is happening on the outside.
I don’t know how to do that very well…YET. But I do know, just as running a marathon takes a lot of training, so also does running my mind. To be quiet and listen, both to the outside and to the inside, I have to practice it again and again so it becomes a habit I can unleash when needed.
But being unwilling to learn is. This is the Orange Man’s sin. He thinks he knows better and smarter than everyone. Just yesterday he said he knows more about the environment than most people. And why is that? What study has he done, what investigation has he embarked on, what books has he read and which experts has he consulted on this topic?
This proclamation without substance is bluster. It’s the Orange Man’s way of making something real. You just say it and it is. The side effect of this is mentality is one does not have to learn or study or grow. You just say you know and you know.
This attitude is problematic when an elementary school teacher sees it in a young boy or girl. That teacher will work to show the child that it is good to open minded about ideas and topics, that you have a lot to learn and you won’t learn any of it if you already think you know it all. Many parents have to deal with that same illusion of expertise with the teenagers. Luckily most people grow out of this stage. They are humbled and realize there is a lot of amazing things to learn in this world.
Unfortunately we sometimes have to deal with this egomaniacal personality in an adult. It’s insufferable to have a co-worker have this issue for example. They can make life quite miserable.
But what we should never have to deal with is this sort of immature and dangerous person as the leader of the free world.
I hate it when… I don’t understand how people can… Why don’t they just…
When I am in an annoyed mood I can often catch myself starting thoughts with those words. Or I might say to myself, If only people didn’t have such destructive and dangerous habits. If only they could control themselves. Don’t they know they could have a better life if only they didn’t do that, or did do this?
When do I say these things in my head? When I am most annoyed with myself. I am running late, I forgot to do something at work, I completely forgot an important appointment. And now I am driving through traffic yelling at slow drivers, or I am fuming at someone at my keyboard, wanting to write an email to tell them off because they did this thing they always do that is SO annoying.
But when do I look at myself? All the time actually. I see my ‘flaws’ my bad habits, my shortcomings. And what do I do? Well, sometimes I change them. I’ve had some success, for example I stopped drinking 26 years ago and never looked back. That’s pretty good, right? But for every thing I have addressed there are other things I have not, or if I have, it was only after years and decades of avoiding facing them and even when I did, it was more realization and mild adaption than it was a complete change.
Why don’t I yell and scream at myself? Because I forgive myself. Because I know my motives are good. I know I am trying and that makes me feel ok about it. And when I am at my best I have that attitude towards others as well. They deserve my sympathy and forgiveness, just like I give myself. They deserve to not be judged, but understood.
But when I am not at my best I question their motives. I question their commitment. I question their true desire to change. They are just skating along, not trying, not caring, not worrying. They don’t deserve my sympathy or forgiveness, they deserve my judgment since I understand how pathetic they are being.
And that gets me where exactly? It gives my ego a false boost that doesn’t last. It gives me a self-righteousness that is dangerous and isn’t deserved and it gives me a way to avoid caring about people who need care.
And those things suck, do no one any good, and do not make you feel better about yourself. The more I am able to practice sympathy, understanding, listening, forgiveness, humility, the less I will practice judgment and condemnation.
And this is the truth – we become what we practice.
“Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.”
Do you believe this quote? I am not sure if I do or not. Sometimes I look at the church and it’s a dismal failure in every way imaginable. Then I look at that same church and I see action that proves it is living out the creed.
I guess that is the sad reality of Christianity (and most religions if one is honest). We have ideals and we want to live up to them but we like talking about them more than we like taking the action necessary to make them real in our lives.
