by Marty Coleman | Nov 23, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Mme de Staël, Talleyrand |
Purchase the original | purchase a print | matte and frame available
Being God
You know what is great? To have a friend who will fish you out of the water when you fall in. That is great. But what is not great is if they threw you in the water in the first place.
Have you ever had a friend like that? I call this the God Complex. They thrive when they are helping someone but to do so they need to get that person in danger first. So they set up a scenario where they nurture drama in a person’s life, maybe by encouraging them to date someone they know is not right for them, or maybe to take a job they are not suited for. It could be anything. All that matters is that they work it so they are able to come to the rescue and seem to be the hero or shero.
My Hero Fantasy
I have known one or two in my time. And even though the quote refers to a woman (Mme De Stael), I have noticed it just as much, if not more, in men. I think this might be because men grow up told it’s the highest accomplishment to be a hero. I remember in Jr. High I had my first and only hero fantasy. I imagined the bus I took to school getting in a crash and me coming to the rescue of Julie, the most beautiful girl in school (in my opinion). I helped her out of the bus and took care of her as she lay on the ground. As an adult I respond as best I can to circumstances where my help is needed. But I don’t ever want to desire or cause something bad to happen just so I can do good.
Here’s the point. It’s not wrong to be a hero or shero. It’s a good thing. But it’s not if you are manipulating people and situations so that you can be one. That’s a bad thing.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by Charles Maurice de Talleyrand, 1754-1838 French diplomat and politician
The quote refers to Mme. De Staël (Anne-Louise-Germaine Necker, Baronne (baroness) de Staël-Holstein), 1766-1817, French-Swiss author and politician. She is definitely worth reading about!
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 18, 2016 | Friendship - 2015, Samuel Johnson |
Purchase the original | purchase a print | matte and frame available
The New Friend
Last year there was a woman who came into our running group. She was enthusiastic, positive, friendly and caring. I thought from the first that she must have already known a number of the other runners. But no, she told me she had just moved here by herself only recently. She told me she had done it many times before and had learned that if she was to enjoy her life as a single woman in new locations she would have to make a deliberate effort to go out and meet people. She did this by joining groups, in this case our running group. And sure enough she gathered a group of good friends in short order.
The Gone Friend
Then she moved. Just like that she was gone. Now, in the social media world people aren’t really ever gone, right? So, neither is she. I read her Facebook posts from her new location and guess what she is now enjoying? She is now a hiker and a climber in the Rocky Mountains outside of Denver. And there is photo after photo of her with new friends she met in a hiking group she joined.
The True Friend
One other aspect of her appearance on the scene that I noted. She did not join our running group just to make friends, she also joined so she could be a friend. It wasn’t just her getting her friendship needs met, it was also about what she could offer others. In other words she gave as much as she got.
The Courageous Friend
Now, she is an extrovert and makes friends easy. I know not everyone is like that. But everyone still has a need for friendship and everyone still has to take responsibility for finding those friends, now matter what your personality type. If you move to a new place, get a new job, or enter a new phase of life, chances are people are not going to come out of the woodwork to befriend you. Even if they do, you have to decide to accept and contribute to that friendship.
It takes some courage to go out and make friends, but the results are worth the challenge.
Drawing and commentary © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote by me, adapted from one by Samuel Johnson
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 15, 2016 | Marty Coleman, Sketchbook History Tour |
I’ve been drawing in sketchbooks for many decades now. I sometimes go back and revisit older books just to see what I did or to show others. Recently I did this with a series of sketchbooks from 2000 on. I discovered a number of drawings I wanted to work on more, mostly in coloring and shading. Here are 4 drawings from this endeavor.
If you know my recent work you know I often write short stories to accompany my drawings. In these drawings though the stories or observations were written directly on the page. I specifically went for stream of consciousness oriented narratives with long run-on sentences that imitated the way I actually experienced and thought about the moment.
HOOPS
‘Hoops’ 2003-2016
The classy student studying with the grey eyeshadow and glimmery lips while her boyfriend who looks young and too young for her reads a magazine with three bug bits on his ankle in a row looking like a constellation and she uses a blue and red pen & huge hoop earrings, the biggest i’ve ever seen with her left hand and very small delicate fingers with no polish in Norman, Oklahoma on a summer’s night that threatens to rain while the two girls behind her wear red Sooner shirts and read & talk about the young star who is too thin and I draw instead of read the manual on the class I am here for while I catch a bright pink purse pass by a tall guy sitting with yellow.
VEINS
‘Veins’ 2003-2016
The tall thin woman at Panera with great veins reading her bible and taking notes and eating a bagel and ignoring that I am drawing her while she drinks coffee and contemplates divorce on a hot summer morning in Tulsa.
SPLOTCHY
‘Splotchy’ 2003-2016
The woman looked like she had been crying; splotchy skin, red eyes & nose but she had not.
RUBY LIPGLOSS
‘Ruby Lipgloss’ 2004-2016
The woman with the ruby lip gloss and zig zag parted hair looking at the person in the door and wondering if he noticed her perfume when he passed as she made a call to her boyfriend to ask if he picked up mascara for her.
Drawings and stories © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 11, 2016 | Series |
44% of the electorate did not vote in the Presidential election of 2016. That is over 90 million people who were eligible to vote but didn’t. The percentage was even higher in the primaries.
I believe as Dwight Eisenhower did: “Politics ought to be the part-time profession of every citizen who would protect the rights and privileges of free people and who would preserve what is good and fruitful in our national heritage.” This includes voting down ballot, off year, primaries, bond and education issues, etc. They all matter.
Remember, it doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because we vote.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
Quote is mine. It is a variation on one by Charles de Montesquieu
Purchase the original | purchase a print | matte and frame available
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 9, 2016 | Democracy, Marty Coleman |
My father and my mother taught me a very important thing about electing our President.
That is always, no matter if your side wins or loses, hope the best. Hope that the new President is better than what you think he is. Hope that the actions aren’t as severe as his rhetoric has been. Hope that the gravity of the office will infuse this person with a conscience you don’t believe he possesses. Hope that our system of government, with its checks and balances, will wear down the rough edges so people aren’t hurt by his actions and words.
I hope these things, not because I am naive, but because I believe it’s the best way for me personally to move forward as a citizen of the United States.
What do you think?
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